Accidents of Circumstance

Chapter 3: History Repeats

Regina was sitting in class, foot tapping on the floor and head bobbing in time to the music playing from the enchanted radio on her desk. Normally, electronic gadgets stop working upon entering Hogwarts' field of magic. Technology and magic tended to be at odds, and didn't usually work in the same vicinity. A little jury rigging, however, and a friend of hers had figured out how to make technology work within magical fields. Regina had all of her gadgets spelled, both the ones she had brought with her as well as whatever she had left behind. She had brought her cell phone, which had been doubly spelled. It not only worked within the magical field, but all calls were considered local. It was a wonder of modern spellwork, but not anything that her circle of friends considered publishing. Most witches and wizards couldn't abide by technology, let alone try to figure out ways to make it work alongside magic. Her particular circle, however, believed in living between the two worlds.

Draco knocked on the door to her classroom. "Er... Professor Vial?"

"Regina," she said automatically, waving him in. She didn't even look up from the book she was reading, and didn't turn off the radio.

Draco pulled up a seat to sit across from her desk. "What's that?"

"Comic book."

"No, the thing making the noise."

Now she looked up, and she looked vaguely insulted. "That is not noise."

"Well, it's not English, either."

"Of course not. No self respecting J-rocker would add more than a total of ten words in English to any song they sing."

"Huh?"

"Never mind," she said with a sigh, shutting off her radio. "It's known to only the select few Muggles anyway."

"Really? You mean they're not all the same?"

Regina snorted. "Of course not. Don't tell me you honestly think that."

At Draco's silence, she sighed and shook her head. "Anyway, you came here to repeat yesterday's lesson, not hear about differences between groups of Muggles. That's for Muggle Studies to teach you."

"I don't take that class."

"Of course not. It would upset the Pureblood prejudice."

Draco didn't know if that was an insult or not, and decided to let it slide. He caught the title of the comic book she was reading, The Sandman, and kept silent about that, too. The cover looked interesting, but his father would have a choice word or two to say about any interest in Muggle artifacts, and those would most likely be Unforgiveable curses.

"Do you have enough parchment?" Draco took out a roll and a quill with a self-inking charm on it. "I don't think you need that much, but it depends on how big you write. I'm giving you the short version anyway. You should've heard some of this in History of Magic."

"Only Granger pays attention in that class."

"Some of your classmates said that, too." Regina seemed amused. "But basically, you need to know where the origins of some of these techniques come from."

"Why?"

"If you don't know how spells originated, you won't be able to tell how it works, and then you can't do it."

"I don't really know how magic works, but I can still do it."

"That's because magic is a tool, and one that's part of you. You can't shut it off like a faucet, it's always there. You're here to learn how to use it."

"But I could always do magic. I can do more than what they teach here."

"Well, that's not saying much. Anyone can put in the effort and learn to do something they don't teach here. The thing is, you couldn't say how you're doing it, could you?"

"But why do I need to?" Draco didn't get her point.

"Let me start again. I'll do a shorter version of yesterday's introduction, and we'll see if it makes more sense. I want you to imagine yourself several thousand years ago. Do you know enough about the world back then?"

"Er... not really. I didn't pay much attention in History of Magic."

"I'm not talking about dates. I'm talking about how the world worked back then, how people lived."

"No."

"Okay. Imagine yourself in ancient Rome or Greece. You're a wizard that can do magic with a wand. Your neighbor can't. So if you do a simple spell, let's say Incendio, it amazes that neighbor, right?"

"Well, yeah. Muggles can't do magic."

"How do people react to things they can't do?"

"They're jealous. They try to figure out how to do it."

"And if they can't?"

"Then they hate you?" Draco asked after a moment, not sure what she was getting at.

"Yes. That's one reaction. Another is fear. They become afraid of you. Thousands of years ago, the world was different. Gods were seen in everything, everywhere was a soul in torment. Gods could speak to you through Oracles, and you constantly had to beg for something to go right in your life. Things were harsh. You worked for some overlord for a sheet to cover your back and bowl of gruel for a meal. The gods said this was because you obviously did a bad thing to one of them at one point."

"But I'm a Malfoy. We're rich."

"Shush, you. This is the world of the ancient civilizations. You eked out a living and prayed for something good to happen and more often than not, it wouldn't happen. The average person back then didn't have whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. Now imagine that this average person knew of someone making things burn, making things float, making it rain, whatever they wanted to do."

"Then they'd be hailed as a god, wouldn't they?"

"People fear what they don't understand. They hate before they admit to fear. They don't want to be powerless, they want to feel like something matters in their sorry little lives. And if there's something in front of them that they don't understand, they'll try to get rid of it to make themselves feel safe again."

"They hunted wizards?" Draco cried, eyes wide when he realized what Regina was getting at. "But wouldn't they be the ones getting hurt?"

"And if all you know is wand magic, what happens when your wand is missing?"

"Oh."

"Right. Standard magic holds that you need your wand. And if you're using it for one spell, you can't cast another one."

"So they were stuck and hunted."

"Until they learned to do spells without wands."

"So you could do hard spells without wands, right?"

Regina lofted an eyebrow at Draco. "Jumping the gun, aren't you?"

"Jumping the what?"

"Muggle expression. Means you're getting ahead of yourself."

"Oh. Sorry." He didn't look sorry; it seemed as though wheels in his head were turning.

"But in theory, if you could learn to channel your energies without the help of a wand, you could do magic entirely without a wand."

Draco sat there, allowing that to sink in. Then he looked up at Regina. "Why bother to know the history?"

"It tells you how this works. How do you use your wand?"

"Swish and flick as you say the spell."

"And if you don't have the wand?"

"You shouldn't be able to do magic."

"But that's because you think the wand is all that channels the magic. What did you hear me say a thousand times today?"

"Control. Focus. Willpower."

"Exactly."

Draco sat there, chewing on his lip. "And you did this in the first day?"

"Well, then after a more long winded version of basic history, I had the kids try lighting the candles without wands."

Draco looked at the simple tea light sitting on the desk between them. "And now I'm supposed to try this?"

"You gave it a try in class."

"I cheated."

"I know."

Draco looked up in surprise. "You didn't say anything then."

"You didn't upset anybody by it, you didn't break anyone else's concentration."

"Well, even Pansy could do it, and she can't focus for anything!"

"She did well enough at the time."

"She can't study. She needs someone to help her."

"That's not lack of focus. Some people can't study well alone." Draco sniffed. "Everyone is different, Draco. You can't expect everyone to be just like you."

"Well, they can't be."

Regina pushed the candle closer to him. "I don't plan on doing the same lesson twice in a row forever. I'll be moving on to other things tomorrow, since most of the people in class have figured out to at least make the wick smolder."

"Don't remind me," Draco groaned.

"Clear your mind of all expectations, all pressures on yourself. You need to feel the way your magic flows, and channel it toward the candle. And then it'll light."

"No it won't."

"Draco. Stop. Right now. Close your eyes and tell me what a lit candle looks like."

"This is silly."

"I'm serious. Do it right now."

Draco sighed and shut his eyes. He nervously pushed some of his silver blonde hair behind an ear. "Uh... There's... fire. A little piece of fire right on the candle wick. That's the twisted string thing in the middle of the wax. And the wax melts."

"Picture it in your mind. Picture it as clear as if you were seeing it."

After a while, forehead furrowed in thought, Draco said "Okay."

"Now open your eyes."

The tea light was lit.

Draco looked from the candle to Regina and then back at the candle. "You did that," he muttered unhappily. "You want to make me feel better."

"I'm your teacher, not your friend. I'm doing you a favor by redoing yesterday's lesson, but that's the end of it. I'm not doing your assignments for you. I already know how to do all this, you don't."

Draco looked at the candle, and tried to mentally pinch it out.

It went out.

He looked up at her, a wild look of hope in his eyes. "It works!"

"Try it again."

Draco looked at the candle, willing it to flame. The wick started to smolder, and slowly caught to flame.

He looked up at her with a grin. "I can do it!"

Regina smiled at him fondly, and patted his hand. "You are talented, Draco. You have a great magical ability, if you want to develop it. You have potential."

"Really?"

"Yes. I'd say you should definitely go on to an apprenticeship or University."

Draco licked his lips, suddenly nervous. "I... uh... I was thinking of apprenticing, actually."

"You'd do well, I think."

"Father wouldn't like it."

"But whose life is it?"

Draco looked up at Regina. The expression was one of dull resignation. "It doesn't matter, my life's already been planned out once I turn sixteen."

"You don't sound too enthused."

"I'm not. Not... all of it. There's stuff that seems like it would be okay... But... I want to do other things, too."

Regina's mouth twisted and she spread her hands wide. "I don't know enough about the situation to say anything. But my first piece of advice holds. You have to take responsibility for yourself. You're not left without choices."

"It's easy for you to say."

"I know it is. Look, I don't know your situation. It's for you to decide. You can't possibly think I can give you an easy way out."

There was something like respect in his expression. "No, I can't."

"I could listen, I could give advice if that's what you want. I've worked as a guidance counselor and social worker in the past. But it's still your life, and only you can live it."

"Yeah. But no one else seems to think so."

"But whose life is it? Yours, or theirs?"

Draco looked at the little tea light, still aflame and suddenly looking pretty cheerful. It was much simpler to be a candle...

"I haven't decided yet," he muttered, snuffing out the flame viciously.

"Then you'd better get to it, shouldn't you?"

Draco left in silence.

***

"God, I hate being the wellspring of good influence." Regina was lying on her bed, cell phone pressed up against her ear as she picked at her nails.

The voice on the other end of the line laughed. "Gina, you are the worst of the worst that I know."

"That's not saying much, Li."

"Hey now, I know as many fiends as you do."

Regina laughed. "I know, but... it's not the same."

"I know. But look. You're surrounded by kids. Of course one or two of the most troubled will make a beeline for you. It's your gift."

"Curse. It's a curse to have the worst kids seek you out for help. They never leave you alone at night."

The voice laughed softly. "Gina, you do a great job with them. Think of the kids here, in your schools, getting their lives straight finally. Think of all of us, how lost we'd be without your input. It's what you do best."

"Heh. I wish someone would fix me up."

"I know... Twelve years without a date, that's a shame."

"Li! That's not what I meant, and you know it!"

"Come on... you need to get laid. Why don't you and Severus patch things up? He's probably the youngest guy there..."

"Li, get your brain in gear. It's not going to happen."

"Look, maybe..."

"No maybe." Regina's voice was hard and cold. "Ancient history."

"History repeats, you know," the other voice said softly, gently. "Even for you."

"Especially for me, thank you very much. I know exactly how my history repeats. And I'm not too eager to have it happen again."

"He never hit you, Gina."

"Shut up, Liane, before I shut it for you."

Liane wisely backed off the topic. "We miss you already."

Regina sighed. "I know I'm such a bitch about that. But I'm not going to change."

"I know. We... talked... after you left. You didn't have to take the job."

"The kids need me."

"So do the ones here."

"You got the East Coast, the rest is divvied up... I'm not worried."

"It has nothing to do with Selphie's prediction, right?"

"It wasn't a prediction. And no, that wasn't it."

"Oh, that poor kid up against a demon from Hell?"

"That's got a lot to do with it."

"And the fact that the said demon from Hell screwed you big time has nothing to do with it at all."

"Look, Li, he's so gung ho... He doesn't know how bad it really is. No one over there does, they don't know what that kind of magic this is."

"I know the runes as well as you do."

"Li..."

"Gina, be careful. That's what I'm here for, remember, Fidelus."

"Fidelus. I remember." Regina shut her eyes tightly, feeling the lump form in her throat.

"I wouldn't be honoring it if I didn't say something."

"I know. I can be a bitch sometimes."

"You're human, Gina, and you were hurt a thousand different ways. I know."

Regina felt the tears forming under her eyelids, and refused to open them. "He needs my help, Li, and I can't just turn him down."

"I wouldn't ask you to. I just ask you to be careful."

"God, everyone keeps telling me that."

"You know weird shit, Gina, but you're not all powerful. You don't know everything."

"I know enough to keep myself safe. I know enough to teach him to be safe."

"He's going to think you're a magical goddess, you know. All of it, you're not going to teach him the history or the mythology or the language, will you?"

"It'll take too long."

"But you won't even explain how it works?"

"Probably not."

Liane sighed. "Gina, this is dangerous. Don't set up that kid to turn to you. He needs to be smart and to do things on his own."

"I don't think that's a problem. He reminds me of Greg."

"Ohhh...."

"What's... oh, never mind. Screw you."

"It's not your fault he killed himself."

"Don't you know that I know that?!"

"Gina... It was another lifetime ago."

"And I can stop this part of history repeating, can't I?"

"And if you can't?"

"Then I'm not worth my magic."

"Don't make him Greg, Gina. Greg couldn't handle knowing he was magical, and he couldn't handle a blood feud. He thought that was the only way out."

"Harry is a fighter. I'm pretty sure that's why Albus put him with those awful relatives of his, because he'd have to be tough to live with them, he'd have to know how to survive. He didn't have to be there, but he was."

Liane took a deep breath. "You didn't tell him about the runes, did you?"

"I told him about the glamour."

"That's not the worst of it."

"No... But I'm going to lead into it."

"All right then. All right."

"I don't like that tone, Li."

"You don't have to. I'm all the way over here, safe until they make a move. You're the one at the front line."

"They don't even know it's war."

"Albus does. Why else bring in the only expert he knows?"

"I don't know if it's enough."

"It'll have to be. You got the preliminary plans together, and you can change 'em on the fly. You know how it works."

"It's just... too many variables.... It feels like I'm running blind."

"You are. But you've got most of the traps set, don't you?"

"He wouldn't let me put up some of the wards I wanted to."

"Shit."

"My word of choice, actually. He didn't appreciate it."

"You have to put them up.... There won't be enough of a warning, otherwise..."

"I know that! But I can't just do the ritual without him knowing. I swear, it's like he's got some kind of Sight."

"Gina... something has to be done. You know that."

"I did what I could in London."

"Did he buy your excuse?"

"He didn't say anything. I think as long as he doesn't know, it's fine."

"Then do an abbreviated one."

"When the week is up. I need to see how the faculty moves. I need to see how the students move. I need to know where to put them up."

"If you need help, supplies..."

"I'll call... I just needed someone to talk to tonight."

"No one else was home?" Liane asked dryly.

"Hardy-har-har. No... I wanted to talk to you."

"Really."

"Yeah. Just... you take care, too, all right?"

"Fidelus, baby."

"It's not a joke."

"Yeah... but you got too serious all of a sudden. I didn't like it."

"Neither do I. But someone's gotta be."

"Go get laid."

"They say 'shagged' here."

"Then go get shagged senseless and call me back when you're in a better mood."

"Touchy, aren't we?" Regina teased.

"I... You make me jump at shadows," Liane said quietly. "I felt my heart stop."

"Now?"

"This morning. When you dreamed."

"Oh Li..."

"It's happening again, isn't it?"

"No, it's not happening again. It's not."

"Keep telling yourself that."

"It's not." Regina's voice was firm. "It's not. I won't let it."

"You can't tell yourself not to love anymore. You can't just point and say it's over."

"Sure I can. He could."

"Gina... Protect your heart, too."

Regina sighed. "You, too. I don't like the sound of that guy."

Liane laughed. "You never even met him."

"He sounds... wrong somehow. I can't put my finger on it."

"Jealous much?"

"Not at all. I don't want you seeing a lowlife, is all. I've seen enough for the both of us."

"That's the truth..."

"Li!"

Liane laughed merrily. "Take care, Gina. I'm holding down the fort just fine."

"I'm doing what I can do over here. But I've only been here for three days. It should pick up at some point."

"I'll say hi to Selphie."

"Bitch," Regina said without rancor.

"She told me, you know."

"I told her not to."

"I had a right to know."

"I didn't want it messing up anything with that guy."

"I've had the chance to make peace with my history."

"Oh, you did?" Regina didn't sound as if she believed it.

"Yes. It's... better. I've let go of the hate."

"I haven't."

"I know you haven't. But I know that's not all that's there."

Regina opened her eyes, shining wet with tears. "I know, too."

"Something's going to happen at some point with you there."

"I won't let it." Regina's voice wavered, and she could hear the tears in her own voice. "Oh god, Li, why does everything have to be so hard?"

"If it wasn't, would you be having this trouble?" Liane asked wryly, hoping she would catch the innuendo and laugh.

Regina had to laugh. "That was low, Li."

"I know, I know. But it made you laugh. That's good enough for me."

Regina sniffled. "I'm not going to say a thing."

"Sometimes you don't have to. I know what you feel."

"I'm sorry."

"Stupid charm," Liane said, voice expressionless.

"Did it hurt much this morning?"

"Only when I breathed."

"Sorry."

"Never mind. It's not your fault. Look, it's getting late over here, and it's probably really pretty late over there, if I know you."

"I spelled a time delay."

"Thought so. Look, I have stuff to do in the morning. And you have morning classes anyway, bright and early. Get yourself some beauty sleep. Bags aren't this year's must-have accessory, ya know."

"Shut up."

"Love you, too."

Regina was quiet for a while. "Thanks, Li."

"You're welcome. Now really, get some sleep. Don't stay up thinking thoughts you shouldn't be thinking."

"Easier said than done."

"Just try. Promise me you'll try."

"I promise."

"It should get better, Gina. It should."

"I hope so. I feel it in my chest, too."

"And if you let go of it?"

"I don't have isolation to help me out," Regina said bitterly. "I was always too visible."

"Don't break, Gina. Don't. You're stronger than that."

"I know it, I do. Just... sometimes I don't feel it."

"That's why you called me."

"Yeah."

"Look. Sleep on it. You'll feel better in the morning." Liane made a kissing nose. "Go to sleep. You shouldn't have called me so late."

"I never do what I'm supposed to do."

"Sucks to be you."

"Ha ha. Good night, Li."

"Fait des beaux reves."

"Bonne nuit."

Regina hung up, and put the phone down on the bedside table. She looked out of the window, curled up on her side. She couldn't get to sleep right away.

***

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