The Talisman of Monguk

Chapter 18: Past the Point of Rescue

Two agonizing days had passed, but Angela's shock over the break up with Lupin had not. She replayed their last conversation repeatedly in her head, searching for any solution that would get them back together again. This search brought her to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry on that fateful day in early March.

She crossed the snow-covered grounds and approached the heavy doors of the castle. It was afternoon and the sun cast long shadows over the snow. She tapped the doors with her wand and they opened for her. She walked into the entrance hall. Students filled the hall, milling about or walking to classes. They ignored her as she climbed the winding stone staircases and made her way down the corridor to the staff room.

She knocked on the staff room door, opened it, and entered. It was a long room with dark paneled walls. It had a fireplace at one end and was filled with mismatched chairs. Severus Snape sat in a chair nearest the fireplace. He was the only one in the room.

"Angela, what a pleasant surprise," he said.

He rose from his seat and swept toward Angela, stopping directly in front of her. His lips curled in the slightest hint of a smile. Angela smiled back shyly, trying to suppress her discomfort.

"Hello, Severus," she greeted. "I...I was just looking for Professor McGonagall. I was supposed to meet her here...on a personal matter."

"As you can see, she is not here," Snape said, with a dismissive wave. "But it is fortunate for me, because I had hoped to speak with you."

"About what?" she inquired. She glanced down at her briefcase and fidgeted with the handle. She glanced back up at him.

"I have heard rumors that you and Lupin intend to marry," Snape asked. He looked down at her over his crooked nose. His dark eyes bored into hers. "Are they true?"

"No," she replied, averting her eyes.

"I am pleased to hear it," he rejoined with a self-satisfied smirk.

Instantly, her nervousness evaporated. Angela jerked her head up. She looked him directly in the eye.

"Why?" she demanded. "Why shouldn't I marry him?"

"Do you really think that would be wise?" Snape asked, curling his lip in derision. "How do you expect him to provide for you, when he can barely provide for himself?"

"Really, Severus," she snapped. "This is the twenty-first century. I don't expect anyone to support me. I have my job at the Ministry. It pays well enough."

"But marrying a werewolf? Surely, you can see the folly of that?"

"When my father married a Muggle, everyone told him that the match was ill-advised," she rejoined, as the color rose in her cheeks. "Yet my father and mother had the best marriage that I've ever seen. I've seen lots of pureblood marriages that everyone said were well made and they turned out to be disastrous." She flashed him a defiant look and insisted, "I don't intend to let you or anyone else make up my mind for me."

"But, Angela, I really must object in this case," Snape rejoined in a soothing tone. "You deserve a better man than him. I have made plain my opinion of him." His face contorted with hatred toward Lupin.

"Yes, you have," she stated, glaring at him. "And you must know that I do not share your opinion. I trust him. And I love him with all my heart."

Snape looked as though she had just struck him in the face. He flushed with rage and disappointment. His eyes flashed angrily.

"I can see that you will not listen to reason," he spat. "It is apparent that you have been bewitched. I only hope that you come to your senses before it is too late."

He turned and strode out of the room, his robes billowing behind him. She turned away from the door. Hot tears of anger welled up in her eyes. She brushed them away and smoothed her dress, trying to regain her composure before her meeting with Professor McGonagall.

Minutes later, Minerva McGonagall entered. She was an elder witch with a stern expression, wearing robes of emerald green. She looked pleased when she saw Angela.

"Good afternoon, Miss Hawkins," McGonagall said. "I'm sorry that I was delayed. How is your mother?"

"She is very well, thank you, Professor," Angela replied. "I will tell her that you were asking after her."

"Well, now, what can I do for you, my dear?"

"I've come to ask you a favor concerning a private matter," Angela answered. "Is there a place where we can talk undisturbed?"

McGonagall gave her a quizzical look. "Perhaps we should go up to my office," she suggested.

Professor McGonagall and Angela walked down the corridor and up the stairs to her office. Angela, of course, knew the way very well, having been there many times before. She sat down in a chair across from her former professor. McGonagall offered her tea and shortbread. When they were both comfortably settled, the professor turned the conversation to Angela's request.

"Now," McGonagall said, "What is it, my dear?"

"You must know of my feelings for Remus Lupin," Angela began. "He and I have discussed the possibility of marriage."

McGonagall raised her eyebrows. "That is news, although not entirely unexpected. Does your mother know?"

"Yes."

McGonagall's thin lips turned up slightly at the corners. "Then I wish you both congratulations."

"No, you misunderstand," Angela corrected. "We have discussed marriage, but there are obstacles. I am concerned for Remus, his transformations, in particular. And he is concerned for my safety. We could take precautions, such as the Wolfsbane Potion. But I would like to take an additional one. I would like to become an Animagus."

"I see," said McGonagall with a stern gaze. "You must know, dear, that Animagus transfigurations are very difficult. They can go horribly wrong."

"I know," Angela replied. "That is why I have come to you. I know that I cannot do it on my own. Will you help me, please?" Angela cast the professor a desperate, pleading look.

McGonagall considered her request for several minutes. She stared at Angela with a very serious expression on her face, her thin lips pursed together.

"Your mother and I have been friends for a very long time," McGonagall answered. "I will do it for her sake and yours. But you must register with the Ministry. We will do this by the book."

"Of course," Angela agreed, looking suddenly hopeful. "I do not want to cause you any trouble. Thank you, Professor."

"You will meet me here on Tuesday and Thursday evenings promptly at eight o'clock," the professor instructed. "We will make exceptions for meetings of the Order." She strode to her bookcase, took out a textbook on Animagus transfigurations, and handed it to Angela. "This is your textbook. You will read the first chapter in preparation for our first lesson. I will see you then."

"Yes, Ma'am. Thank you," Angela replied, smiling with delight at being reunited with her mentor. "Well, I don't want to keep you from your work."

"Nonsense, dear," McGonagall said.

But Angela noticed a slightly impatient tone in the professor's voice and the large pile of parchments on her desk.

"I should be going then," Angela said, rising from her seat.

"Do tell your mother that I would like to see her for tea soon," McGonagall remarked. "Kindly have her send me an owl."

"I will."

Angela stuffed the textbook in her briefcase and walked to the door. Then she hesitated and turned back toward Professor McGonagall.

"Is there something else?" the professor asked, raising her eyebrows.

"It's just that we haven't discussed payment," Angela rejoined. "I can't expect you to give me your time for free."

Professor McGonagall looked surprised. "Don't be ridiculous, dear. I wouldn't dream of charging you for this."

"Thank you, Professor. Goodbye," Angela replied, nodding and smiling as she backed out of the office.

Angela closed McGonagall's office door. She strode down the corridor, lost in her own thoughts. On her way toward the exit, she passed by Ravena's office. Seeing her, Ravena ran to the door and summoned her back.

"Angela," Ravena called after her. "What brings you to Hogwarts today? Please, come in. I would welcome one of our little chats."

"I was here to visit McGonagall," Angela replied. "We just finished. I have some time to spare and I can't think of anyone that I'd rather spend it with than you."

She entered Ravena's office and sat down, closing the door behind her.

"Would you like some tea?" Ravena offered.

"Actually, I've just had tea with McGonagall. But don't let me stop you."

"So... Severus told me something very interesting about your man the other day," hinted Ravena, pulling out a delicate china teacup and matching teapot. "He let slip that Remus is a werewolf. Is it true?"

"Yes," Angela replied, sounding annoyed.

"How intriguing!" Ravena replied, a sly smile on her lips. "You surprise me, Angela dear. I didn't expect this of you. I never imagined that you would go for the dangerous type." Ravena filled a wire mesh tea ball with gourmet tealeaves.

"But he's not dangerous," Angela insisted. "He's really gentle and kind. He would never harm me."

"Well, you know him best," Ravena said, now tapping the teapot with her wand. "By the way, does Aunt Eudora know?"

"Of course, I told her so myself."

Ravena's eyes opened wide with shock. "And she's ok with that?"

"Yes, she thinks him an honorable man."

Ravena laughed. "Dear old Aunt Eudora. How I love her! Can you just imagine Mum's reaction if I brought home a werewolf?" Ravena rolled her eyes. "It would be entertaining to try, except that she'd probably murder the guy."

Angela wanted to tell Ravena what had happened with Lupin, but it was still too painful for her to discuss. And to do so would mean admitting that it was true. So she changed the subject.

"Does this mean that you're now on speaking terms with Severus?" Angela probed.

"Yes, I suppose," Ravena answered with a little shrug. "We had a big row in January after the Bat Wing Ball. It was a little case of mistaken identity. But we've sorted that out and reached an understanding."

"I really thought that the two of you would have gotten on better," Angela replied. "I don't understand how things went so wrong. And he's a very accomplished Potions Master."

"It turns out that he's accomplished at a surprising number of things," Ravena remarked, raising her eyebrows suggestively.

"What do you mean?"

"For one, he's a gifted dueler and knows as much about the Dark Arts as I do," Ravena explained. "I think that's where we went wrong. I think that he was jealous that I got the post. I don't know why the headmaster didn't appoint him, but I suppose Headmaster Dumbledore has his reasons." Ravena shrugged.

The teapot whistled shrilly. Ravena tapped the pot again with her wand, silencing it. She poured herself a steaming cup of tea.

"I had no idea," Angela exclaimed with surprise. "He never told me that he knew Defense Against the Dark Arts. What else did you learn?"

"Well, he's also quite an extraordinary dancer," Ravena answered with a sly smirk.

Angela's eyes grew wide. "No!"

"Yes, it's true!" said Ravena with a laugh. "We tangoed. It was marvelous!"

"It sounds as if you could go for him?" Angela teased.

Ravena held out a plate of biscuits for Angela. "Would you like one? The ones with the Belgian chocolate are particularly good."

"Thanks," Angela replied, selecting a chocolate one and taking a bite.

Ravena paused reflectively. "I suppose I could go for Severus, if he'd do a lot more dancing and a lot less talking. He is a lot more interesting than those vacuous dandies that usually follow me about. But he can be extremely difficult."

"So why do you two fight then?"

"Lately, we have our little tiffs over students," Ravena explained. "Harry Potter is one of my best students, but Severus thinks that I'm too easy on him. And then there's Draco Malfoy." Ravena made a face of displeasure. "Young Mr. Malfoy is Snape's favorite, but he's not mine." Then she arched her eyebrows and probed, "So how about you? You obviously knew Severus."

Angela shook her head. "To be truthful, I don't think that he'd be interested in me. Anyway, I'd already lost my heart to Remus. No one else stood a chance." She cast her cousin a feeble smile.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Lupin was also at Hogwarts that day, meeting with Dumbledore. He left Dumbledore's office and headed down the corridor. Then he spotted Harry Potter with his best friends, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley. The three students were huddled together in a corner, talking about something in low whispers. Lupin approached and was about to greet them, when he heard the words 'talisman' and 'map' in the midst of the conversation. Lupin's briefcase nearly slipped from his grasp.

"What are you three talking about?" he inquired, frowning.

Hermione practically jumped out her skin. She, Ron, and Harry stared back up at Lupin with guilty looks. Harry opened his mouth to answer and stuttered, "Professor Lupin, we..."

"I don't want to know how you found out about the talisman," Lupin scolded, thinking of Fred and George and eyeing Ron suspiciously. Ron's face reddened under Lupin's stare. "I have a pretty good idea though. But don't even think about going after it yourselves. Leave that to the Order. That's our job," he warned with a stern expression. "By the way, Harry, how are your Occlumency lessons with Dumbledore coming along?"

"Fine!" Harry lied.

Hermione gave him a reproachful look that did not escape Lupin's notice.

"Harry, you must learn to block Voldemort from your mind," Lupin admonished. "Nothing is more important. He would like nothing better than to lure you into danger. I would have thought that what happened last spring would have made a greater impression on you. Sirius' sacrifice..." Lupin broke off, unable to continue.

Harry's face fell with shame and grief. Lupin took hold of Harry's shoulder.

"Swear to me, for Sirius' sake, that you will devote yourself to those Occlumency lessons," Lupin urged. "Please promise me."

"But I have been trying," Harry protested. "Really, I have."

Lupin's expression softened. He patted Harry's shoulder.

"Keep at it then," he encouraged. "You'll get it. I know that you will."

"Yeah, I promise," mumbled Harry, his eyes downcast.

At that moment, Snape swept out of a nearby classroom and strode toward them down the corridor. As he passed, he eyed them all suspiciously, reserving his most loathsome look for Lupin. He seemed to be in a hurry and did not stop, though his passing effectively ended their conversation.

"Right then. I'd best be going," said Lupin, backing down the hallway. "Take care, all of you."

As he turned to go, he nearly collided with Angela, who had just emerged from Ravena's office. She stepped out of the way just in time. She dropped her briefcase. It landed with a clatter and toppled over, spilling some of the contents.

"Remus!" she exclaimed, surprised to see him. "What are you doing here?"

"Meeting with Dumbledore. And...And you?" he stammered.

"Meeting with McGonagall."

Lupin cast a quizzical look toward Ravena's door. Angela noticed his gaze.

"I stopped by to see my cousin afterward," she hastily added.

Then she glimpsed the transfiguration textbook spilling from her briefcase. She bent down to tuck it back inside, before he could see it.

"Here," Lupin said. "Let me help you."

He also reached for the textbook. His hand met hers. They both froze. Lupin grasped her hand in his and they looked up simultaneously, their eyes meeting. For one brief moment, the whole world stopped. They stared into each other's eyes with mutual longing, neither one willing to move or daring to breathe.

The spell was broken by Peeve's voice, ringing down the corridor with a rousing chorus of "Loopy loony Lupin." Lupin released Angela's hand. He averted his gaze with a look of sad resignation on his face.

"Don't mind him," Angela whispered under her breath.

She tucked her books back into her briefcase. They stood up, looking awkward. Both searched for words, but neither knew what to say. Finally, Angela broke the silence.

"How...how have you been?" she asked him.

"Fine," he lied. "And you?"

"The same," she replied, casting him a yearning look.

He stared down at his shoes. "I was just leaving."

"Same here," she said.

"Can I walk you out?" he asked softly.

"Of course," she replied, smiling wanly. "I'd like that."

"Right then. Shall we?" Lupin said, extending his arm to her.

"Well, what have we here?" drawled a cold voice, abruptly interrupting their conversation.

They both looked over in surprise. Angela turned to find herself facing the icy stare of Lucius Malfoy. He was accompanied by an older severe-looking witch.

"Aunt Medea! Mr. Malfoy!" Angela exclaimed.

Angela approached her aunt and gave her an obligatory peck on the cheek. Her aunt accepted it with sour reluctance. Then, looking down her nose at him, Medea eyed Lupin with a most disapproving glare. She scowled as she surveyed his tatty cloak and battered briefcase.

"We were just leaving," Angela said. "Good day!"

She attempted to move around them. But Malfoy blocked her passage. He stroked her cheek with the serpentine handle of his cane and turned her head to face his.

"Tut! Tut! Angela!" he menaced in a whisper. "Cavorting with werewolves? Brawling like a Muggle? You'd best watch yourself or you may end up like your father."

Lupin wedged himself between Malfoy and Angela. He cast Malfoy a steely look of hatred rarely seen in his usually kind eyes. Malfoy recoiled from him with contempt.

"Kindly excuse us," Lupin said, as he took Angela's arm. "We must be going."

Malfoy stepped aside to let Lupin pass, as if he were a filthy garment that he was loath to touch. Lupin escorted Angela quickly toward the door and out onto the snow-covered grounds. In the distance, they could see the Whomping Willow, bowed and bent under the weight of the ice clinging to its boughs. In the gray sky, a lone star shone dimly through the approaching gloom. They walked side by side in awkward silence.

In the stillness of the twilight, Angela contemplated Malfoy's threat. In thought, she was transported six years earlier, remembering the sudden onset of her father's mysterious illness and his slow and painful decline. The healers were never able to pinpoint the cause. They could only give him potions to ease his suffering. Thus her family watched helplessly as his organs shut down one by one, until death overtook him at last. Had Malfoy done this? Or was it her aunt, as that awful Lestrange woman had implied? And would she be next? As she walked, Angela was glad for the approaching darkness, so that Lupin would not have to see the tears trickling down her cheeks.

He himself stared straight ahead, lost in some thought of his own. Occasionally, he cast a disconsolate glance in her direction and smiled wanly. Once outside of the Hogwarts gates, they whispered a sad goodbye and parted company.

* * * * * * * * * * *

In the days that followed, Angela passed her time mechanically, buoyed by a false hope that she would awaken to discover that it had been just a bad dream. But the days passed without change.

While Saturday was once her happiest day of the week, it now became her worst without Lupin's companionship. She couldn't practice dueling without thinking of him, so she practiced karate instead. As her denial gave way to anger, she spent more time in the dojo, pounding her frustrations out on the pads.

Both her brothers joined the Order of the Phoenix with her. During meetings, they sat on either side of her. One or both of them would accompany her whenever she signed up for patrol duty. These days, they rarely let her out of their sight.

Angela attended her transfiguration lessons with McGonagall for Lupin's sake. Against reason, she clung to the hope that some day she and Lupin would be reunited. And she believed that she would never love anyone else.

Lupin wasn't faring much better. Moody hadn't seen him so miserable since the days immediately following Sirius' death. He threw himself into his work for the Order, burying his feelings for Angela under a flurry of activity.

Lupin saw Angela only during meetings and missions, denied her company on Saturdays and on patrols. Their contact was safely limited to wistful looks and melancholy glances from afar. Their conversations were always held under the watchful stare of Angela's brothers.

Occasionally, he stumbled across Angela on his visits to Hogwarts to see Dumbledore. He wondered what she was doing there, but she never volunteered a satisfactory explanation. And he looked, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. Although he chided himself for it, he secretly welcomed any opportunity to see her.

Snape was the only one who was happy about the latest turn of events. He seemed positively delighted to discover that Lupin and Angela were no longer dating. But his enthusiasm was soon tempered. Angela avoided him, not wanting to hear more words against Lupin. And her brothers prevented any man from getting too close to her.