Pride and Prejudice

Chapter 8 - People Like You, People Like Me

Lily tried hard to ignore the stares around her as James led her along the dance floor. Every so often she caught sight of one of her friends, or one of his friends, and the same dumbfounded expression seemed to be on all of their faces. Lily was trying her best not to give them something to work with, but it was becoming increasingly harder.

Truth be told, she was actually enjoying herself...a lot. To top that off, James was still an excellent dancer. And to top that off, he was wearing the same kind of cologne that he used to wear when they were dating.

Bullocks, she thought to herself.

The number they were currently dancing to was slightly slow so they weren't going too fast, but Lily already seemed to be tripping over herself as she realized how long it had been since she had danced.

"Danger at 12 o'clock," James whispered to her suddenly.

They twirled slightly so Lily could look. Sure enough, a huddle of people stood just off the dance floor, obviously plotting something. She grimaced as she recognized Sirius, Remus, Peter, Alice and Nikkie all there. Frank was standing next to the huddle, holding a bottle of Butterbeer in one hand. He seemed to be a kind of lookout, for when he saw Lily looking, he casually ducked back into the group and a few faces turned their way.

Lily turned back to James as they continued dancing. "When are they going to give it up?" she said, slightly irritated.

She saw James smile slightly and he looked back down at her. "So you aren't having fun?"

It was more of a statement than a question, but Lily couldn't help but notice the way his bottom lip twitched as he said it.

"Actually, I haven't been dancing in a while," she admitted. "I feel clumsy."

In the background she could hear the song drawing to an end and James started slowing them down.

"You shouldn't," James said quickly. "You're doing a great job."

Lily blushed slightly, even though she knew he was saying it just to be polite. She must have stepped on his feet over 10 times just in the last 2 songs.

"And no," James added, as if sensing her thoughts, "I'm not saying that to just be polite." He paused as the song finally ended and they stopped all together. "I haven't been to any dances since we broke up either."

Lily frowned slightly. How in the world could he have known that she hadn't danced since then? A sad and reminiscing look suddenly flickered across his face and she stopped wondering.

"Well, if you don't want to dance, let's go for a walk." James held out his hand to her again, his other hand motioning to the nearest double doors that led to the spacious balcony wrapping around the building.

Lily hesitated. "Actually, James, I really..."

"Please, Lily."

She was so taken aback by the absolute sincerity in his voice that she found herself accepting his hand and walking out into the cool, night air.

She noticed that he didn't let go of her hand when they finally went outside, but she didn't pull away either. The comfortable feeling of his hand in hers was something she had not felt for a long time.

They were both silent as they walked. Lily heard the music start up again inside, reminding her of the "fan club" that was probably now stalking 20 feet behind them, itching to see something happen.

Let them watch, Lily thought ruefully. Purposely she stepped just slightly closer to James as they walked. If he noticed, he made no sign of it. She suddenly realized how familiar this was to her. It was almost like nothing had ever happened between them.

Almost.

Suddenly, something happened that Lily did not expect. She started feeling a tingling on her hands and, without looking down, realized what was happening.

Often during their patrols in the halls during their 7^th year, James would absentmindedly start rubbing his thumb along the back of Lily's hand, an affectionate gesture that had always made her heart flutter and her mind turn into a useless blob of mush.

Not being able to take it anymore, Lily glanced down at their intertwined hands, James' thumb lightly going back and forth along her knuckles. Her movement seemed to snap James back into reality.

Before she could say anything, he recoiled, a sorrowful and apologetic look on his face.

"Sorry," he muttered, clearly embarrassed. "I guess some old habits never leave."

Lily felt slightly put out when he stuck his hands back in his pockets as they continued their walk.

But that was probably better, for both of them, anyway.

James was right. They just didn't fit.

--*--

Sure enough, almost exactly 20 feet behind the walking "couple", Sirius Black, Nikkie Ralston, Alice Prewett, Frank Longbottom, Peter Pettigrew and even Remus Lupin, all swore together loudly at the same time.

Lucky for them, James and Lily didn't notice.

"So that was, what? Plan R?" Frank said with a hint of discouragement.

"More like Z," Remus added, leaning back and rubbing his forehead in exhaustion. "I'm out of ideas."

Sirius whirled around to stare at Remus with wide eyes of disbelief. "Are you a Marauder or not?" He snarled, clearly miffed that their plan had not worked. "We don't just 'run out of ideas'," he continued in exasperation.

"Well, who's to say that we need to interfere?" Nikkie said suddenly.

Everyone looked at her questionably.

"Well, interfere directly," she added hastily, brandishing her wand as she spoke. "Are we wizards or not? A never ending charm on this balcony should do the job." They all still looked confused and she rolled her eyes. "So that they can just keep walking on..."

"And on and on..." Sirius finished, finally getting the point. "Not bad, Nick," he gave her a quick peck on the cheek and she blushed with pleasure.

--*--

Lily tried not to tug at the tight fastenings on her dress robes, but she was getting fidgety and nervous. She and James had been walking for over half an hour now and Lily was getting the distinct impression that something was wrong.

James had (of course) acted like the prefect gentlemen all night, which was starting to make her annoyed. Where was the immature prat who teased her, and played pranks and asked her out five times a day?

She wanted to convince herself that the old James Potter was still there, hiding, just waiting to emerge when she finally put her guard down. She wanted to convince herself that she still didn't have any feelings for this man.

She wanted to convince herself that she had every right to break up with him in the first place.

Darn James Potter for being so perfect!

"Lily?"

Lily turned towards James who had stopped walking and was looking around them curiously.

"What is it?" She frowned, trying to see what had stopped him.

He held up a hand to her as he studied the floor. She watched carefully as he took one step, then two and for some reason...

He didn't even move.

She frowned, trying to figure out what was wrong. Was the balcony purposely charmed that way? Something told her no. James seemed to figure it out before her as he looked up with a slight smile on his face.

"Never ending charm," he told her quickly. "I'm sure of it. The floor you're walking on doesn't move but it seems like the things around you are moving so you don't notice it until it's taking you 30 minutes to go somewhere that's 5 minutes away. We used to use this one on Snape all the time."

Lily silently congratulated herself. The old James Potter was coming back.

"We were such idiots..." James shook his head, as if exasperated with his childhood self.

That was not what Lily had expected. Was he serious?

"What are you talking about?" she said before she thought about her words. "You always bragged about all those things you got away with."

James looked at her skeptically. "Lily, you of all people should know how stupid we all were."

"Imature."

"Overconfident."

"Big-headed."

James winced dramatically. "That hurt."

Lily laughed lightly, not only because of James' joke, but she was starting to be very happy that she had been wrong. Indeed, she was now remembering the James Potter who had managed to worm his way into her affections during their 7^th year.

Stop it! She argued with herself. People like him don't change!

"I still find it hard to believe that you could go through so many years of being a prat and then suddenly snap out of it," she said with a hint of reservation as she sat down on the nearest bench. As long as they weren't able to actually go anywhere, she could at least get off of the heels she had been walking on all night. James followed her example and sat down on the bench opposite her, leaning back to examine the night sky.

"You ever have those moments when you realize something, something big, that you feel could change your life forever?" He asked in reply.

Lily immediately thought about when she had first come to terms with being a witch; a thought that both terrified her and excited her at the same time.

"Yes, I can see what you're talking about...So you're saying that you've come to this big revelation for yourself and that's what made you change?"

He stopped looking up for a moment to shoot her a questioning look that she didn't quite understand. "I guess you could say that...among other things," he conceded, looking back up at the sky.

Lily studied him for another few moments as she tried to figure out what he wasn't telling her. Her thoughts went back to the times they had been together since graduation. At all those times, she had seen and heard the change in him, but even now she wasn't sure she could place just how or why it had happened. Maybe she would never know, but the fact that he had changed was more important than anything else.

"It must be hard for people like you to change," she said quietly to him.

"No," he shook his head as he looked back at her, "not with people like you around."

--*--

Sirius and Nikkie were currently on Lily/James watch. They had argued for a while that not all of them needed to be on the lookout and that they might as well enjoy the dance and the free food while they could.

Sirius watched carefully as James stopped suddenly, glancing at the area around him. Lily then stopped, looking curiously as James took a few steps.

"What's wrong?" Nikkie whispered as she saw Sirius frown.

"James figured it out," he told her shortly. Indeed, James was now standing with his hands on his hips, a goofy grin on his face as if he knew that Sirius was out there somewhere and that he had been the one ot put up the charm.

"He can't see us, can he?" Nikkie said with a hint of worry.

"No," Sirius assured her. "And don't worry, they won't be able to go very far from that spot for another 30 minutes until the charm wears off."

"Brilliant," Nikkie whispered, moving slightly so she could see them. James and Lily seemed to have finally given up on walking and were sitting on benches opposite from each other, seemingly having a conversation together. "Too bad we can't hear them."

Sirius grinned handsomely at her and pulled something out of his pocket. "Who says I'm a Marauder for nothing?"

He dropped a small flesh colored object in her hand, taking his own and sticking it in his ear.

"This looks like a muggle thing..." Nikkie observed.

"They got it from us," Sirius explained. "This model was invented for the war to keep track of spies that we sent into Voldemort's inner circle. It doesn't even have a name yet and there are only a few dozen that exist."

"You're using your Auror equipment on your best friend?" Nikkie said, half horrified, half amazed.

Sirius merely smiled. "I slipped the brother part into his robes before we came here. We both have to carry so much stuff that I'm sure he didn't notice."

Nikkie still looked doubtful, but she stuck it in her ear anyway. They both tapped them with their wands and sure enough, James and Lily's voices carried over to them.

"It must be hard for people like you to change," Lily was saying.

"No, not with people like you around."

Sirius' mouth almost dropped open. James and Lily were having a remotely deep conversation? James practically confessing his feelings for Lily?

"Did you hear that too?" Nikkie whispered to Sirius. Seemed she didn't believe it either.

Sirius just nodded quickly and stayed still to hear what would happen next.

Both James and Lily were silent for a full 5 minutes. Sirius watched in confusion as they both just sat there, too embarrassed or too scared to carry on their conversation. Lily had a small amount of blush on her face as she stared up at the night sky. James, on the other hand, looked as if he was about to cry. Sirius recognized the look on his face as he thought of the past.

Finally, James spoke up. "Was I really such a jerk?"

Nikkie looked as if she wanted to answer the question herself, but Sirius motioned her to stay quiet.

"Yeah, you were," Lily said outright.

James' face dropped a little bit, as if he had been expecting that answer but it was particularly painful hearing it come out of Lily's mouth.

"Do you think I've changed?"

Sirius moved a bit so he could watch Lily as she answered. "You, James Potter, have most defiantly changed."

She leaned forward a bit and smiled at him. Sirius could tell that James was overjoyed by her words as he finally had the guts to look at her, too.

"So you forgive me?" James said timidly.

Lily hesitated on this answer but finally smiled. "Yes."

Sirius didn't even bother to listen anymore. He pulled the object out of his ear and motioned Nikkie to do the same. Hand in hand they walked back into the ball, both content with a mission accomplished.

--*--

"No, not with people like you around."

The silence was almost deafening. Lily found herself at a loss for words. What did that mean, people like her? Could James still have feelings for her? Or maybe...maybe she was his reason...

Lily suddenly felt herself going red and she looked down and then up at the stars, hoping James didn't see her blush.

How could that be possible? Lily had thought of James' feelings for her like a schoolboy crush, but this was something much grander.

Could he still possibly love me?

She racked her brain for an answer to her own feelings.

She found no direct path to the truth.

This was going to involve some tricky twists and turns, but Lily was ready for it.

--*--

I can't believe I just said that, James thought to himself as he saw the shocked expression on Lily's face. He quickly looked back up at the sky, trying to ignore the butterflies that were whirling around in his stomach. Surly Lily would be able to figure out what he meant by that.

If she did, she would most likely kindly tell him that he needed to back off and stop trying to chase her.

If she didn't, she would go on, acting like they were just friends and occasionally blaming him again for their break up.

Neither prospect sounded encouraging.

Out of the side of his eye, James saw Lily start to look up as well, a pink tinge on her cheeks.

Blushing? Was Lily Evans blushing?

She figured it out. He could tell by the way she was trying hard not to look at him. Her hands trembled slightly as she gripped the seat of the bench she was on and her eyes searched through the stars like she was trying to find an answer among them. James felt himself doing just that.

Was there any way to solve this pickle he had gotten himself into?

Here he was, having just confessed (rather discreetly) his love for the girl sitting before him, and wishing now more than ever that he had paid more attention in astronomy and divination so that he could look to somewhere else for his solution.

His friends had been no help whatsoever. Sirius was too obsessed with Nikkie right now. Remus was having problems with the full moon coming next week. Peter...well Peter wasn't the kind of person to turn to for love advice.

It was now more than ever that James ached to have his parents back.

Even as a grown adult, he still felt so lost without them. His mother and father were like his best friends, always there when he needed them. Now, when he felt like he needed them the most, there was nothing left.

Don't mess it up with Lily, a voice told him. Don't let her get away. Don't loose her too.

After getting his emotions under control, James spoke.

"Was I really such a jerk?"

He winced at her sudden answer. "Yeah, you were."

He felt slightly happy at her use of the past tense, but hearing her say that he was a jerk made him feel even more animosity towards his younger self.

"Do you think I've changed?"

He had to know...even if she said no, than at least he wouldn't have to lie awake at night wondering.

"You, James Potter, have most defiantly changed."

She looked at him as she said it and at that moment, James felt himself walking on air.

"So you forgive me?"

He was looking at her now, his fear vanishing with every second she looked at him with that brilliant smile of hers.

"Yes."