Pride and Prejudice

Chapter 5 - I've Lost Her

"I've been meaning to ask you..."

James grimaced, but did not look up as Lily continued.

"Did I hurt you with that, um, that book I threw? What was it again?"

He rolled his eyes and continued pealing the orange he was eating. At least he now knew that his "friends" didn't want him to starve. They had managed to make a basket of oranges appear in the closet between him and Lily. And since James had been starving when he got home earlier, he was already on his third orange.

"It was," James put on a prissy voice, "Hogwarts, A History. And yes," he glared up at her, "it hurt."

James felt no reason to be acting nice to this girl. She had only let him sleep for about 30 minutes before she bullied him awake, saying that they needed to "talk". The "talk" so far had basically been the both of them asking questions about each other. James had found out that Lily was training to be a healer, just like she had planned to in school. The problem with these talks was that James was still stuck within three feet of Lily and he could feel his old attraction for her brimming again. This was not the best of times to try and "work out their differences" as Ly had called it. James was trying hard not to stare into her eyes for too long at a time. Thankfully, the food had arrived about 15 minutes after they started, so James had some excuse not to give his full attention to the conversation.

"Oh," Lily said with a slight amount of sadness in her voice. "I didn't actually think I would have hit you."

Swallowing a piece of orange, James raised an eyebrow at her. "Evans, everything you threw at me that night hit."

"Really?"

"Yup," James threw the orange peals back into the basket and scrounged for another one. "You must have had some serious rage."

"Yah, I was a bit mad..."

James bit back the urge to laugh. A bit mad was the biggest understatement of the century...

James rushed into the common room, barely having a breath to spare to say the password. Surely one of the teachers would know it was him...he should have been better at covering up his tracks. All he had to was get the evidence out of his room, and fast, before McGonagall caught up with him. He vaguely thought of Lily and hoped that she was alright. He hadn't been able to see her in the chaos but she should be fine. This prank was for her anyway.

James was able to make it up all of three steps before a cold voice made him stop.

"Potter."

James' mouth went dry, but he didn't turn around. He hadn't heard a voice like that say his name with such disgust in a long time. He felt his heart shatter as he realized that something had gone wrong. That was not Professor McGonagall's voice.

"Turn around right now, James Potter, and tell me what just happened..."

Resigned to his fate, James slowly turned to see his girlfriend, Lily Evans, standing there, her hands on her hips and her mouth in a frown. On top of that, she seemed to be covered in small little red dots that swelled on her skin.

Bee stings.

Crap.

Lily was allergic.

His eyes got wide as he examined her and saw that tears were now gathering in her eyes.

"Why James?"

She said it with such remorse and betrayal that James nearly started to cry himself.

No...no this wasn't how it was supposed to happen...

He felt his whole world fall out from underneath him.

A second later a large object came out of nowhere, clipping him on the shoulder, causing him to cry out in pain. His eyes followed it and he saw it was a copy of "Hogwarts A History" that had been sitting on the table over by where Lily was.

Another object zoomed at him, this time catching him in the shin. He stumbled a bit and reached down to hold his leg. That was when Lily's finally started yelling.

"I can't believe you! How dare you pull a prank at this ball! How could you do this, James? How could you ruin this night?"

A few more objects including a large candle and the poker stick from the fire came wising after him. The poker stick was the only one that didn't cause major damage, though it clipped him slightly on the side as he tried to move out of the way.

"I can't believe me! All this time, I thought you had changed! But Severus is right; you're just a bloody - no - good - git! Who can't even hold onto a girl for longer than a month!"

Finally the parade of objects stopped and through his aching arms, James was able to glance up. He saw that Lily was now standing still, a trail of tears falling down her sting covered face. James felt the tears well up in his eyes.

No...no...I've lost her...

"We're through, Potter. Don't you ever come near me again."

A tear finally fell down James' face as he heard the portrait door slam behind her as she left. He stood, shell shocked for over 5 minutes, not daring to believe that had just happened.

Dimly he heard the sound of footsteps outside the portrait and he hauled his body up to his dorm before anyone saw him.

Gingerly changing into pajamas, minding the large bruises that were forming on his body, James climbed into be quickly and shut his curtains. He performed a quick sealing charm around his curtain so that no one could open it but him, and quickly tried to sleep.

James didn't bother to answer his friend's calls as they bounded up to the room, trying to find out what had happened...

Forcing his thoughts out of the memory, James shrugged. "Not much you can do about it now." He took another bite of orange, its taste bringing him back to reality. They weren't the best of meals, oranges, especially after a whole day of Auror test...

Auror tests...?

"Bloody gits!" James cried out, suddenly remembering.

Resisting the urge to smack the nearest person (as she would probably hit him back), James settled for slamming his fist into the door while Lily watched him in confusion.

"What?"

James sighed, resigning himself to the fact that being angry right now wouldn't solve anything, but that didn't mean he couldn't kill all three of them later.

"I've got my last test for Auror training tomorrow..." he glanced at his watch in the faint light, "I mean, today...this morning...in about 6 hours..."

Gritting his teeth, James leaned back, hitting his head against the door but not even noticing the pain. Moody was literally going to kill him.

He opened his eyes to see Lily smirking at him.

"What's so funny?" he spat out, quite bitter about his current situation now that he realized it could cost him his career along with a few body parts.

"I'm just relieved that now you don't want to be here as much as I don't," Lily batter her eyelashes at him in a mocking way.

"And what, pray tell, is so awful about you being in here?"

Lily's face hardened a bit. "You think I like being stuck in a closet with you, Potter?"

James couldn't help it; she had left the comment wide open. "What's wrong Evans? A few months ago you would have pulled me into the closet yourself."

Lily flushed deeply and James could tell her temper was close to exploding. Thankfully, probably remembering that they were stuck together for the next three days, Lily bit it back.

"Yeah, well, things change..."

"What things?" James pressed her. They were finally getting to a part of their history that James had been dying to know since the night they broke up; Lily's side of the story.

"Don't act so naïve, Potter, you were there, you know what happened..."

James shook his head. "That's not good enough Evans. I only saw one side of the story. I think it's about time you explained yours."

She shifted a bit under his glare and refused to meet him in the eye. James took a bit of pride in the fact that she was feeling nervous. He on the other hand was racked with anticipation. This had better be one bloody good explanation.

"I don't quite know where to start," Lily finally admitted, her shoulder's drooping a bit.

"You could start with why you were so mad at me-"

"You already know that."

"You really think you know everything, don't you?"

"You're saying there's something I missed?"

"I'm saying that you should think before you act."

Lily glared at him for that statement. "Oh do tell, James Potter! What high and nobel purpose did you have for pulling such an awful prank? A dare perhaps? A way to lighten the mood in the current 'drudgery' of finals? You think that would convince me?"

"There you go again, assuming that Lily Evans is the supreme lord of the universe! For once, can't you think rationally with me?"

Lily paused again, but did not shoot an argument back. Hopeful with her silence, James continued.

"Did you ever, and I mean ever, stop to think about what the real reason was that I might have played that prank?"

He could tell the question had caught her off guard by the way her eyes widened a bit. "What?"

James set the orange that was in his hands down and decided to finally look her in the eye while he asked the question since this was something he had been wondering for a while now.

"What I mean is; I tried for so hard to get you to like me, to go out with me...Do you think I would risk our relationship by playing a prank that I purposely knew was dangerous for you? How thick do you think I am?"

He hadn't meant to say that much, or start raising his voice at the end, but both happened, and they seemed to have quiet an effect on Lily as she sat their in silence, biting her bottom lip while she considered the question.

"You mean you didn't know that I was allergic-"

"My question first, Evans," James cut her off. He wasn't going to let her get off that easy.

Lily leaned farther back away from him before answering. "I guess I was just mad that you didn't even consider that I might have been hurt. It seemed awful childish of you. You had changed so much that I thought you would maybe stop acting like such a jerk..."

James' eyebrows rose in surprise. That wasn't at all what he had expected her to say.

"But it looked like you didn't."

Deciding not to comment on the "looked like" part, James leaned back in casual triumph. He chose not to say anything else, rather let the silence do the talking for him. At last, it was Lily who cracked.

"So you didn't know...?" Lily's voice trailed off.

"No."

James could tell that that realization struck her hard as she went a little pale. Time to drop the final bomb.

"You've gone through all this time thinking that I knew that prank would hurt you?"

"Yes."

"Well that clears up a few things, doesn't it?"

"Indeed."

--*--

"We are in deep-"

"Don't even think about it, Sirius," Remus cut him off. "We can fix this."

Yeah right...Remus thought. Anything that made Sirius and Remus scared was something to be taken seriously. Peter on the other hand was scared of everything.

Sirius looked at him with wide, fearful eyes. "Yeah? You got an idea?"

"I vote we hide," Peter put in. "Run and hide."

"There's no where we can go where either James of Moody won't find us," Remus argued back.

"And kill us," Sirius added.

"Oh, isn't that a lovely though?"

Remus continued pacing the family room as they all waited with bated breath for Moody to come charging through the door. They apparently had "forgotten" that James' last test for Auror training was tomorrow, or rather, today. Moody had apparently heard "through the grapevine" that the latest Marauder prank involved James being locked up in a closet for several days. He had not been very happy about it.

Remus, Peter and Sirius had all been staying the night at Godric's Hollow when a very angry Moody flooed them, demanding to know where James was. As they all tried to blubber out an explanation, Moody cut them off, informing them that he would be their within the hour. It had been about a quarter to midnight then.

Remus glanced at the clock and saw that it was about 12:30 in the morning.

He gulped. Peter was right. They were all going to die.

"Well at least they're not yelling anymore," Sirius added, motioning back to the closet where Lily and James were still stuck. Remus had to agree that they were being relatively good in there. A small part of him hoped that they might have already made amends, but he knew both of them too well. It would take longer than that. About a half hour ago they had heard a large thump and James had cursed loudly at someone. Remus was guessing it was them. But since then the closet had been quiet.

"They probably fell asleep," Peter said with a slight smile. "Too bad we can't take a picture. Prongs would pay big for us to not display it around Diagon Alley."

"Pete, the point of this was so James wouldn't care if they were together," Remus said exasperatedly. He finally was sitting down, drumming his fingers along the arm of his chair, drilling his mind for any spell that would let them open the door before three days was over. He had already looked through almost every book he could find, all the while cursing himself and James for being to clever. Now he was left to his own thinking.

Luckily, or unluckily, he didn't have to think to long.

A loud knock was heard on the door, making everyone jump suddenly.

"Moody," Peter said with a gulp.

Remus was just at the point of making Sirius go and get the door when a gravely voice was heard behind them.

"What a time for you boys to pull one of your pranks..."

They all jumped again, this time to their feet, whirling around to see Mad-Eye Moody standing there, his walking stick in one hand and a crumpled piece of parchment in the other. Remus squinted and was able to make out the markings on the seal.

OotP

"That's from the Order!" Sirius hissed softly, pointing to the parchment.

Remus, Peter and James all had parents in the Order so it was no mystery to them what t was. Sirius, though having no relatives in the Order because of his dark family history, learned much about it from James. James was actually the only member of the order in the Marauder's circle. He had turned 18 about 2 months ago and was inducted then. Sirius would be 18 soon along with Peter and Remus, but this letter surely had something to do with James.

Remus took a small step forward. "What is it? Another attack?"

"Much worse, m'boy. Much worse..." Moody suddenly seemed very old and unwilling to talk as his head hung a bit. "Where's James?"

--*--

James was startled awake by footsteps outside the door followed by Remus' kind but wavering voice.

"I doubt that there's any way you can open it..."

Seconds later a bright light came through the cracks of the door, waking Lily who sat up confused. They must have both fallen asleep mid conversation because James couldn't remember actually wanting to fall asleep again. Talking with Lily had been somewhat....refreshing. It got a lot of weight off his chest and though he wasn't ready to start full out snogging her again, the wall between them had lessened somewhat.

"Come on, Potter, no time to waste."

James jumped to attention as Moody's voice came through and the door flew open. His eyes widened as he realized what Moody had just done.

"How'd you do that, Alastor? We always thought it was impossible-"

Moody hastily cut him off, waving the question away. "Later, son. I didn't come here just to break you out of your friend's idea of a joke..."

James finally noticed the piece of paper crumpled in Moody's hand with the Order's seal on it. James was the only actual member of the Order at the moment, him being older than the other three. Sirius' birthday was next month. Remus and Peter both had their birthday's before the end of the year as well. But so far, it had just been James, though he had never done much for them yet. He had always wanted to do something important for the war against Voldemort, but many still thought him too young and immature. That's why he had agreed to take Auror training when Dumbledore suggested it. It was a way to prove that he could make a difference.

"What is it...?" James asked with a hint of reservation. The grave look on Moody's face and how he was not snapping at them for pulling pranks on each other...something was terribly wrong. James, though excited about the prospect of finally being able to do something, felt a deep sense of dread as his eyes kept falling on the piece of parchment.

"Another attack," Moody finally said. He glanced towards Lily who was climbing out of the closet with a confused look in her face,nd gave her a small nod in acknowledgement. He then turned back to James and laid a grizzly hand on his shoulder.

"They've left the Dark Mark over Perrimen Lane, James."

James' heart stopped as he heard the words. Perrimen Lane...that was where his parent's lived.