Crossing Borders of Existence

It was deathly quiet at the long, elegant dining room table. The clink of forks and knives against glass dishes echoed in the ceiling that arched high above. Riley sat with her hands in her lap, staring at a plate of untouched food, straining her ears for the slightest movements. The flutter of the thick, navy blue curtains, the creak of wooden floorboards, the nearly silent pitter-patter of House Elf feet, anything to take her mind off what she knew was about to come up.

To waste more time, she glanced at her father. He was a middle-aged man with short black hair and brown eyes that always held a malicious glitter. He draped his thin body in his chair with a pompous, refined air, and his spindly fingers were grasping his knife and fork. His long legs were crossed with one leg resting on his knee, and his weathered features had a certain dignity about them that was somewhat captivating. Melvin Lestrange wore his arrogance and breeding around him like a cloak and brought forth an intimidating presence wherever he went.

Riley now turned her gaze to her mother, who sat at the opposite side of the table from her father, blonde hair carefully curled and cautiously crammed into an intricate bun, blue eyes on her plate as she delicately ate. Elizabeth was an elegant woman, and everything she did reflected it.

And opposite Riley sat her older brother, smirking defiantly at her with his arms crossed over his chest as he slumped casually in his chair. His dark eyes were shining with amusement as he saw her twisting her hands in her lap--he knew she was nervous and angry. Rodolphus always knew; he could read her like a book. Riley didn't know how--they were so different, and yet somehow alike as only a brother and sister could be. Their appearances were common only in the fact that they both had black hair and were long and slender, but Rodolphus was the spitting image of his father while everyone said Riley favored her mother.

And Rabastan...he had always been different. He was dark haired like his siblings, but he never seemed to fit in with Rodolphus or Riley. He sat up straight and tall, but seemed to always fade into the background of everything. To be honest, Riley didn't like him that much--he was sneaky, stupid, and younger than her. Sometimes she felt sorry for him; after all, she and Rodolphus did tend to steal the spotlight from Rabastan, and it just was unfair sometimes. But then he'd do something to piss her off and she couldn't give a rat's ass. She was still mad at him for coloring all of her ink pink--he thought it was funny; Riley thought it was anything but funny.

When Riley looked to her father again, she saw him wipe his mouth on his napkin, a signal of him beginning to speak.

"Riley, you understand what is happening, correct?" he said quietly.

"Yes," Riley said, trying not to grind her teeth. "I understand perfectly."

"It's for the greater good, dear," her mother said, smiling falsely. "Once we purify our world, things will be much better."

"Mom, things are FINE," Riley argued, her voice rising without her consent. She closed her eyes momentarily, trying to get a grip on herself.

"Young lady, I will not tolerate this sort of insolence from you!" Mr. Lestrange said in a whisper, his voice laced with an undertone of malice.

"She's a child, Harold, she doesn't know what she's saying--"

"I am NOT a child and I know perfectly well what I'm saying, thank you," Riley spat, ignoring her Rodolphus's deepening smirk. There went her being calm and collected. "And for the record, this entire thing is absolutely stupid and pointless."

"TO YOUR ROOM--NOW!" Riley opened her mouth to speak, but her father drowned her out. "NO ARGUMENT!"

Riley pushed her chair forcefully back, causing it to crash on the floor. She turned on her heel and strode out of the room, careful not to look at Rodolphus or Rabastan, banging her hand on the doorframe as she passed. However, she didn't pause with the furious eyes of her father watching her. She continued her trek to her room, and once there, flung herself angrily on her bed.

She stared at the black ceiling, her head pounding and her blood pumping, wishing she was anywhere but here. Riley wanted to loose herself amongst the blacks, reds, and whites of her room, to just fade into the contradiction around her and disappear.

Life with the gathering supporters of the Dark Lord was beginning to severely grain of Riley's nerves. It didn't take an Unspeakable to understand that Volde-what's-his-name wasn't going to take anyone anywhere. Though her parents thought otherwise, Riley had heard enough of those conversations present at those "tea parties" and "neighborly social gatherings" to know what was going on. Basically, some man was gathering supporters somehow or another with the promise of weeding out Muggles and Mudbloods, two things most Purebloods simply did not tolerate. It was ridiculous in Riley's opinion; all they did was talk about how much they hated "impurities", how far high society had declined, and a lot of other bitchy nonsense. At the moment, it was just something Riley didn't take too seriously. Her parents' friends were always planning something that would save the world from ultimate destruction, and this seemed absolutely no different. But somewhere in the pit of Riley's stomach there was this feeling...which she defiantly ignored.

But what really made her angry was everyone treating her like an innocent, stupid child. Riley was intelligent, and she understood what was going on, she just didn't understand the reasoning behind it. Honestly, what was wrong with the way she was living? And who really cared what other people did with their lives as long as it didn't interfere with their plans? She sure as hell didn't.

With a weary wave of her arm, a few red candles lit themselves and a soft, mellow tune crept out of her WWN. The scent of strawberries filled the air, and Riley felt herself sink into the mass of white, silky bed sheets. She rubbed her sore hand absently as her eyelids began to feel heavy.

When Riley woke up, her room was dark. Her sudden return into reality was due to hunger pangs that made her stomach rumble uncomfortably, most likely thanks to very little, if any, dinner. She sat slowly up, yawned, and then got to her feet. Ninny, her favorite House Elf, had probably come in and extinguished the candles and turned off the radio, as was made obvious by the lack of sound and strawberry scent.

"Lumos, dammit," she whispered, grabbing her wand out of her jean pocket. A small, narrow strip of light illuminated from her wand tip. "Accio slippers." A pair of fuzzy blue slippers sailed silently over to her, and Riley slid them on her feet.

She crept out of her door, her wand lighting the way. Many nights of sneaking down to the kitchens had taught Riley to avoid the creaky steps and the weird, glaring statue right across from her room. When she reached her father's study, she heard dim voices from inside. Riley stopped for a moment, wanting very much to stay, but at the same time worrying that she could be discovered by doing so. However, her curiosity won out in the end, and she pressed her ear to the door.

"--it's the only way, Elizabeth," she heard her father state firmly. She could hear the exasperation in his voice, as though he'd had this conversation before.

"But, Melvin, she's so young!"

"Sixteen isn't that young, Elizabeth," he said. "And she has definite potential. He's already been inquiring about her--He expects it, dear."

"B-but..." her mother whimpered, obviously on the verge of tears. "Melvin...she's my baby."

"By the end of this year, she must make a decision. No doubt there will be considerable talk at that school of hers--why we didn't send her to Durmstrang--"

"Melvin," Riley heard her mother say, "We've had this particular argument before, I don't want her so far away."

"That," her father said loudly and pointedly, "is not the point. The point is that she can either be reasonable and put all these stubborn urges of hers aside and follow in her brother's footsteps and be respectable, or--"

"Missus!"

Riley nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard the voice nearby. Turning quickly around with her wand drawn, she saw Ninny standing there in a dirty towel, fingering the tattered lining nervously. Her large, brown eyes were on the floor, looking down her squashed nose.

"Oh," Riley said dully. "'Lo, Ninny."

"Ninny didn't mean to frighten the missus...but it's rude of the missus to spy on her parents," the House Elf said in a motherly way. "Ninny tries to make the missus a lady...and ladies don't spy, Missus. Ladies is respectable people, and theys don't creep out of their beds at night." Ninny grabbed Rachel's hand and began tugging on her as she scolded. "It's down to the kitchens with you, Missus. Ninny knows you didn't eat dinner, and she saved some and makes some hot chocolate, she does."

"Thank you, Ninny," Riley said, suddenly weary as her brain revised the overheard argument between her parents. "That sounds"--she held back a yawn--"fantastic."

Ninny led her down the steps to the candlelit part of the house where Riley could hear the energetic scuffle of tiny House Elf feet. Ninny tapped on a large tapestry of an orchard that hung on the wall once with a long finger, and it faded into nothing until the large kitchens were visible. Riley stepped through the wall and made her way over to a small table where another dark head was sitting.

Riley plopped down onto the padded wooden stool. A silver tray sat on the table holding an empty mug, a steaming kettle, marshmallows, cream, and a small amount of sugar. A second later, Ninny brought a plate of baked potatoes loaded with butter and lined with salt.

"That's a nice combination, that is," Rodolphus said from where he sipped on his hot chocolate. Riley poured her a full mug, put a couple of marshmallows in, and tipped in a bit of sugar. "Potatoes and chocolate. Mum'd be damned proud of that."

"Oh, shut the hell up," Riley retorted, waving a hand at him as she sipped on her hot chocolate.

Rodolphus grinned. "Such language, my dear Riley! You should really tone it down, you know."

Riley grinned back. "Who are you to tell anyone about their fucking language?"

"You've got me," he said dramatically, placing a hand on his heart, slurping at his hot chocolate and smacking his lips. "Damn good stuff, Ninny," he said to the House Elf, who stared at him with wide eyes.

"Master, really, you and the Missus have such bad manners!" Ninny said in a shocked voice. "What would the Head Master and the Head Missus say?"

"Who gives a fuck, right, sis?" Rodolphus said nonchalantly as Ninny gasped. He held out his mug, and Riley clinked her mug against it.

"I'll drink to that," she said, taking a long swig and finishing off the hot chocolate before digging into the potatoes. "You should have heard them talking about me in Father's study."

"What'd they say?" her brother said with an air that suggested he didn't care, but Riley could tell he did. He was always interested in those sorts of things.

"That I'd have to choose or some shit like that. Apparently," Riley shot a strained grin, pretending it didn't worry her that much, "I have to 'be reasonable and put all these stubborn urges of mine aside and follow in my brother's footsteps and be respectable'. Something to that effect."

Rodolphus snorted darkly. "Sounds like our dear old dad, doesn't it?"

"But what does it mean?" Riley said, wearing a confused expression. "Stubborn urges? Follow in your footsteps--what the hell does that mean? Be respectable and reasonable?"

Rodolphus took another long sip of his hot chocolate. He sighed and rubbed his temples as he tried to piece together what was on his mind.

"Well?" Riley demanded.

"I didn't think we'd ever be having this discussion," he muttered, stirring his hot chocolate with a spoon. "I thought you'd have figured it out by now."

"Figured out what?" Riley said, crossing her arms.

"God dammit, Riley, they want you to get betrothed to somebody, like me and Bella are!" he blurted out. "They want you to fall into the old ways and the old morals. They want you to support the Dark Lord."

Riley turned stark white. "B-be-betrothed...Rodolphus...I can't--"

Rodolphus grabbed her cold, shaking hands in his warm ones. "Yes you can, you have to. Besides, a beauty like you? You'll be snatched up in no time."

"No," Riley said blankly, still white. "No, I don't want to be like them. I'm not going to be a Dick Eater or a Death Eater of whatever they're calling them now. I can't...I can't be betrothed."

"Riley, you listen to me," Rodolphus said, clutching her hands, "you can't fight them. You have to 'be reasonable.' If you're not going to support it and be a Death Eater like...well nevermind! Just promise me you won't be stupid about it. Keep your opinions to yourself!"

"But...Rodolphus, I can't support what I don't believe in," she said, looking at Rodolphus with wide eyes. "Do you?"

"No choice," he shrugged. "Now promise me."

"But--"

"Promise me," he said urgently. Riley could hear how important this was in his voice; she could see it in his eyes.

She sighed. "I promise."

Rodolphus stood up. "Good night, sis." He planted a kiss on the top of her head, then walked out of the kitchens and back to his room, leaving Rachel to sit there.

And in a moment she stood up too and began to take the long journey back to her bedroom. The hallways were dark, and eerie moonlight drifted through the thick windows, shooting random beams of dappled blue light on the floor. Riley didn't even light her wand as she wandered along, almost without realizing where she was going. She stopped at a window halfway to her room and rested her forehead against the cool glass. She closed her eyes, wishing that when she opened them she would be back in her bed without a thousand things racing crazily across her tired brain. However, upon opening her eyes, everything was exactly the same, and Riley stood back up straight and continued towards her room. As soon as she got there, she sat down in her sheets, pulled them close around her, and tried to fall asleep, wanting to do anything other than think about what had just happened.

*

Sirius checked his watch for what seemed like the millionth time, despite the fact that he couldn't make out the time due to the lack of moonlight. Underneath him, tiny pinpricks he identified as cars sped on the thin, narrow gray line that was the road, never guessing that a giant flying motorcycle was zooming miles above them obscured by a thick veil of clouds.

He had left home in such a rush that he hadn't really thought about much. He had formulated a plan rational enough to borrow some money from his somewhat eccentric uncle and then crash at James's house...but what then? Sure, Mr. Potter and Mrs. Potter were some of the nicest people he'd ever met, but would they really welcome him in the dead of night with no other explanation than, "Oh, sorry, I know it's late, but I need to stay here for a week because my mum called me a dirty blood traitor and then kicked me out. Thanks."

Even in his head it sounded completely stupid.

For years he had been listening to all her stupid rules, doing nothing as she shouted his fault out to the masses, dealt with her outrage at his being a Gryffindor, but dammit, this time she had crossed the line. She did not insult his friends; not James, not Remus, and not even Peter. She did not call him a blood traitor, and she did not threaten his inheritance if he refused to hang out with him. And in the wager between best mates or money and property, he had chosen his friends. His mother had quite promptly kicked him out of the house, screeching like a banshee.

He was never going back to that place. Never. She could just kiss his traitor ass goodbye and leave her to dwell on Regulas, because he wasn't sticking around. She told him to get out and he obliged. It was hard to walk out of that house as soon as he got to the doorway and glanced at the portrait of his dead father, disappointed gray eyes staring down the same, straight nose that adorned his own face, before slamming the door on his memories and his family forever.

His eyes were starting to water from the wind that whipped his robes around him and ran through his hair. He wiped them hurriedly, refusing to believe he was crying. He squinted his eyes and continued flying. When the lights began to get sparse, he lowered himself and his giant motorcycle until he could see the houses' designs. When he saw a giant vegetable patch in the backyard of one house, he smiled wearily.

This was definitely Godric's Hollow.

He flew down another scant few inches, only bringing his bike to rest when he saw Number 7, Founder's Drive. He had just jumped off the motorcycle when a tousle-haired boy leaned out of the window.

"Sirius?" he muttered sleepily. "What the bloody--"

"Sirius!" another voice hissed at the doorway. He turned to see Mrs. Potter standing there, a disapproving look mixed with the smallest trace of a smirk. "What are you doing here? It's three o'clock in the morning, for heaven's sake!"

He shot her a confidant grin, despite the worry and fear that was fluttering uncomfortably in the pit of his stomach. "Mrs. P! How delightful to see you...I was wondering if I could stay here. You know, just until school starts. I don't want to be any trouble--"

"You'll always be trouble, Sirius Black" she said, her smile growing more pronounced. "Come inside. Don't worry about waking John up; he'll sleep through a pixie attack."

Sirius's bike sullenly moved itself out of the street and into the garage as its owner walked through the front door to the somewhat familiar front hall of the Potters. James, without his glasses, stumbled blindly down the steps.

"I'll let you two catch up," Mrs. Potter said, slowly making her way up the stairs. "Wake me up again and there'll be owl droppings in your beds."

"Sirius?" James questioned, squinting at Sirius. "That is you, right?"

Sirius leaned backwards, smirking. "Yeah, mate, it's me, but damn, no kissing! Honestly, I just got here."

James slapped him on the back playfully, grinning. "So you ran away then? From that old bat's house?"

Sirius hesitated for a moment, but within a moment, he grinned falsely back at James. "Finally."

"Boys, get to bed," James's mum said, suddenly appearing at the doorway. "Now. I'm tired."

"Yes, Mum," James said quickly, practically running up the steps.

"Yeah, sure, Mum," Sirius agreed, following James to his room.

It was a low-ceiling room, tacked cluttered with ten-thousand Cannons posters, miniature models of the players, broomsticks, broom service kits, and almost anything that even remotely reminded anyone of Quidditch.

"Why do you keep this stuff?" Sirius asked, thumping a very large poster of Charlie Mays scoring a goal. "They're never going to win, you know that."

"Why not?" James argued stubbornly. "They've got a good team."

"Correction," Sirius said, holding up a slender finger and carelessly shaking his hair out of his face. "They would have a good team if they weren't all druggies."

James lazily threw a pillow at him and settled into his bedspread.

"So...get any letters from Evans this summer?" Sirius asked, noticing the parchment and ink on James's desk. "Or are you just sending her love sonnets and limericks? There once was a boy named James, Who would cross the river Thames, To see the Lily Evans fair, Glittering green eyes with remarkable red hair, Until the new moon wanes." He let out a bark of laughter, collapsing on a large orange bean-bag.

"Shut up," James snapped, turning red. "If you must know, I'm writing a letter to Remus."

"How's the old chap doing?" Sirius asked, a genuine look of concern on his face. "Alright?"

"He sounds like he is," James shrugged. "He says he is. But that doesn't mean anything, you know that."

"Yeah," Sirius agreed. "I know...I just..."

"You just what?"

"I dunno. I just feel like, like I dunno, he's not telling us something."

"We already know about him being a werewolf. And we're going to be Animaguses soon so we can go with him. Bet we'll crack it by the end of first term. What else can he possibly be hiding?"

Sirius merely shrugged.

"So, where am I sleeping?"

"Wherever the hell you want to sleep," James supplied unhelpfully.

"What if I just steal the bed?" Sirius said, grinning evilly.

"What if you just transfigure that beanbag chair into a bed?"

"That'll work...but you're better at transfiguration than I am, James. It's your best subject."

"And what's yours?" James muttered, grabbing his wand off the nightstand and transfiguring the beanbag chair.

"Why, Potions, of course," Sirius said with mock sincerity.

"'Night, mate," James mumbled as he settled into his bright orange sheets.

"Hey, James?"

"What?"

"Thanks."

"Any time...any...time."

*

Platform Nine and Three Quarters was filled to the brim with people. Conversations seemed to spill into one another, and the hustle and bustle was oddly exciting for Riley. She stood there for a moment, soaking it all in, until a hand rested on her shoulder.

"Come on, sis, time to get on the train," Rodolphus said from behind her. "I'll even let you sit in the compartment with me."

"Gee, thanks," Riley said sarcastically, not even turning around. "I feel so cool now."

"As you should."

"Where's Rabastan?"

"With those kids over there," Rodolphus pointed to a group of people standing around swapping pieces of parchment. "I suppose he's showing them his pretty unicorn drawings."

Riley laughed loudly, causing the few passerbies to stare.

"See you in the back compartment," Rodolphus said, making his way over to Lucious Malfoy.

Riley stood there another second, and then began to follow in the general direction that Rodolphus had gone. However, her path was obstructed by a very solid and very human thing. She felt with a loud 'plop' on the ground.

"Sorry," a cheery voice apologized. "Wasn't watching where I was going."

Riley looked up with angrily, preparing to shoot several loud, foul complaints, when her blue eyes met two gray ones. It was crazy, but she had the strangest feeling she had seen those same eyes before.

"Er," said the same voice. "You alright?"

"I'm fine," Riley replied, grabbing his extended hand and pulling herself up. Once she was standing again, she looked at the person in front of her.

A boy with black hair stood there, looking at her with a puzzled expression. Her eyes traveled from his tanned face, to the toned arms that popped out of a Muggle T-shirt, and to the long legs that were covered in a pair of blue jeans.

"Sirius Black?" she choked.

"Riley Lestrange?" he said in a surprised voice.

"Where the hell have you been?" she said, barely managing not squeal with excitement. "Haven't seen you in ages."

"Been at home, 'til I ran away this summer," he said casually.

"That's--"

"Sirius?" somebody interrupted, coming up from behind Sirius. It was James Potter. Riley felt incredibly stupid--how could she have forgotten? Sirius had become a Gryffindor and best friends with some of her brother's enemies. Things just had to muck themselves up.

It was James Potter, the worst of all those Gryffinwhores, waltzing up in that devil-may-care fashion of his, hair ruffled and standing decidedly on end. He surveyed Riley coolly with bespectacled hazel eyes, and clear disapproval was written all over his face.

"James," Sirius said, waving a hand and grinning, "I'd like you to meet Riley Lestrange."

James reluctantly extended a hand. Riley looked at it disdainfully, and he quickly drew it back, glaring at her. Sirius seemed to be suppressing a laugh.

The train whistle blew loudly, disturbing the awkward moment.

"See you, Sirius," Riley said in a way of goodbye. "James," she nodded curtly. She then quickly walked to the last door on the train, opened it, and walked inside, heading to the very back.

"What took you so long?" Lucius drawled from his place in the most prominent part of the group as soon as she walked in. His long blonde hair was pulled into a ponytail, and he looked at Riley with those cool, indifferent gray eyes. He looked bored in the way he positioned himself, but Riley wasn't stupid--he was always listening and observing.

"Ran into a distraction," Riley muttered.

"Ah, what type of distraction?" Rosier said, eyebrows raised skeptically.

"What's it to you?" Riley spat fiercely.

"Riley, calm down for God's sake," Rudolphus hissed, yanking her arm.

"Yeah, no need to get hot headed," Timothy Nott said, grinning. Everyone in the compartment rolled their eyes.

"Do us a favor, Tim," Dolohov said sourly, "and shut the hell up."

The compartment fell silent, and all that could be heard was the click of the train as it pushed forward to Hogwarts.

Riley took this opportunity to think about meeting Sirius on the platform. She hadn't seen him since a gathering of her mother's a decade ago that his mother, Alexandra Black, had come to. The party was a bit blurry, though Riley could distinctly remember eating dainty sandwiches and stuffing some in her pink robe pockets for later. The part the stuck out most was her sneaking off with Sirius, romping around outside, and having fun snacking on the sandwiches. They had been climbing up the large oak that rested right outside of Riley's window, his hand extended as he grinned, crinkling the corners of those remarkable gray eyes.

Until, of course, her father saw her through the window, noticed the griminess of her robes, and courteously told Ninny to come and get her.

It seemed impossible to think the two of them had ever been best friends. They were much too different now--she was a Slytherin, he was a Gryffindor, mostly--and she knew the first day he got sorted into Gryffindor things would never be the same. And she had been right.

"Riley?"

"What?" she snapped.

"We were just wondering if you'd like to talk to the girls while we discuss some things," Lucius said smoothly.

"Yeah, sure," Riley replied, standing up. "You big, fat, ugly, stupid--" she added under her breath.

"Excuse me?" Dolohov said, glaring at her.

"I was just saying goodbye," Riley lied. "See you all at the feast!" she added with faked enthusiasm.

*

"Honestly, Sirius," James was scolding, "Riley Lestrange!? Do you know--?"

"Yes, James," Sirius replied coldly from beside his friend in their own abandoned compartment. "I do know."

"Then why in the hell were you--"

"Because I ran into her, James," he said in an exasperated tone. "I knew her a long time ago, decided to be polite. That's all. Now will you shut up about it?"

"No," James said, shaking his head and looking as Sirius as though he was insane. "She's one of them."

"You seen the Dark Mark on her arm, James?" Sirius demanded.

"No, but--"

"Then don't tell me she's a Death Eater."

"But Sirius--" James started.

"Shut up, James!" Sirius snapped.

"Fine," he retorted in a final tone

"Fine," Sirius replied, just a stonily.

"Hey, Sirius," Remus said, smiling as he walked in through the glass door. "Did you...see...What's wrong?" His face faded into a puzzled expression.

Peter followed him, licking a mint-and-banana ice cream and plopping down into a seat, completely and utterly oblivious.

"James is being a dick," Sirius responded immediately.

"Sirius is being stupid," James shot back viciously.

"What happened?" Remus repeated calmly, taking a seat and folding his hands in his lap, staring at them with level amber eyes.

"Well...Sirius was talking to Riley Lestrange," James blurted. "Actually he was flirting with her."

"Oh, really," Sirius spat back. "Was I? Excuse me. I'll never talk to an old friend of mine again, especially if they're in some other house. Should I converse only with Gryffindors from this moment on?" He rolled his eyes. "Come on, Moony, you were the one ranting about inter-House stuff all last year."

"True," Remus said. "But you should watch Riley, Padfoot. I know you may have known her from a long time ago, but time changes people. She could be completely different."

"She acted the same," Sirius muttered. "You have to admit the way she cheeked James was pretty--"

"See, told you he was flirting!" James shouted.

"Shut it, Prongs," Sirius hissed. "You want the whole damn train to hear you? No that I was," he added hastily at Remus's smirk. Sirius frowned at him; he was probably thinking Sirius would flirt with a signpost if someone stuck it in front of him, which wasn't true at all.

James merely looked at Sirius defiantly, arms crossed squarely over his chest. He jammed his glasses back up his nose. Remus was biting his lip, and Wormtail continued to eat his ice cream.

"You two are so stupid," Remus mumbled under his breath, sighing.

"Listen," James said, but Sirius interrupted.

"Forget it," he said hastily. "Don't worry about it."

"Hey," Peter said suddenly, licking his ice-cream covered fingers with a magicked napkin. "What are you guys fighting about?"

"God, Wormtail," James said impatiently, "pay attention, will you? Anyway, guess what?" He added brightly.

"What, Prongs?" Remus said lazily, leaning back comfortably in his seat.

"Sirius moved in with me this summer!" he said excitedly, grinning broadly like there had never been a fight between the two of them.

"You ran away then?" Moony asked incredulously.

"Yeah, well," Sirius shrugged like it was no big deal. "Mum didn't like my motorcycle anyway, and she was getting on my nerves...and ever since Dad died, you know, it just hasn't been the same."

"I guess," Remus agreed slowly. Sirius was aware that Remus knew there was more to the story, but he just didn't want to admit to any of them he had been kicked out, stripped of his inheritance, and practically disowned. Not yet, anyway.

He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the window, ignoring the all-familiar scenery that flew past the window and the idle chatter of his friends. For a moment, he was back in that dimly lit room, listening to the weak voice of a dying man that had once been everything Sirius himself wanted to be. His father's last moments were spent raving, and he had been there, holding that freezing hand, praying to whoever was up there to please, please not let him die. But his prayers had all amounted to nothing--Nigel Black died that very next morning, just as the sun peeked over the horizon.

Sirius opened his eyes and shook his head. His father was the last thing he wanted to think about right now. Instead he thought of Riley.

James was right in a way about Riley being different. Although she still seemed to be the same girl Sirius had known, she certainly looked different. She was taller, but still a few scant inches shorter than him, and had grown into her long limbs; she had once seemed gangly and clumsy, but now moved with an easy sort of grace. The white stripe in her hair was noticeable, as it always had been. He used to tease her about it, and it used to bother her, but it seemed like she hardly paid it any attention any more. And those eyes! Piercing and blue, as though she was seeing right through him.

"Sirius, for the last damn time," James said for what must have been the third time, "do you want to play Exploding Snap?"

"Er--yeah, sure," Sirius said, snapping out of his train of thought.

A few minutes into their first game (Remus was leading, damn him), a red head peeked into their compartment.

"Why, Lily!" Sirius said happily. "How fantastic of you to grace us with your presence! Prongs was just talking about you."

"Shut it," James muttered, turning slightly red. Sirius merely shot him an innocent grin.

"Well, I came here for Gingersnap. Have you four seen her?" Lily asked, ignoring Sirius as she usually did.

"Ah, dear old biting Gingersnap, how ever could you have lost such an evil creature?" Sirius said in mock concern.

Gingersnap was Lily's ugly old mean orange cat. He was prone to biting, scratching, and generally being sneaky about it. Nearly everyone in Gryffindor hated her cat and unaffectionately nicknamed it Snap. This cat of hers, ironically, loved James for some odd reason or another, and James had often complained that Lily was sending her cat to stalk him.

"No, haven't seen that blasted cat," Sirius said, raising his hands in the air. "Honest, Lily.

"Scout's Honor and everything," James said with a smile.

Lily rolled her eyes and shook her head. "You two are completely hopeless. Remus, really, how can you hang out with such ignorant, stupid people?"

Remus just shrugged, causing mock cries of outrage to spring of Sirius's and James's mouths.

"Remus, how could you!" James yelled.

"Tell her we're wonderful!" Sirius agreed.

"Fantastic!"

"Brilliant!"

"Wonderful!"

"We already said that," Sirius said to James.

"Oh, well, excellent!"

"We get the point," Lily said, the corners of her mouth twitching slightly as Peter snickered. She flicked her red hair behind her shoulder and began walking out of the compartment.

With a none-too-subtle nudge from Sirius, James said, "Bye, Lily."

Lily stopped for a second, but didn't turn around. Sirius smirked at her back instead. She seemed to be contemplating what to say; she ended up not saying anything and continuing to make her way out of the compartment.

As soon as she had slammed the door shut behind her, Sirius let out a tremendous whoop.

"Sirius!" James said, embarrassed and red. "Shut up!"

"Aha, mate, did you see that? Moony, Wormtail, you see that?"

"If you mean Lily, yes," Remus said, grinning.

"No, no, not that! Her stopping when he said her name...she liked it, James. She wishes you would scream her name while you two--"

"Padfoot, I'm serious, shut up."

"--fuck your brains out--"

"Sirius--"

"--and she'll say your name--"

"SIRIUS!" James roared, standing up. "SHUT UP!"

Sirius looked up at James, flabbergasted. Usually James would have laughed this off with Sirius, actually giving input about how much Lily wanted him. It was an old joke between them.

"Listen, mate, if I'd known you'd get offended," Sirius said slowly, still staring at James.

"Well, you should have," James huffed. Sirius opened his mouth to speak, but James held up a hand. "Whatever, I'll see you all later." He strode angrily out of the compartment, while Sirius looked at Remus.

Moony shrugged. "You should have shut up, Padfoot. You were carrying it just a wee bit too far."

"He usually would have laughed his goddamn ass off about it," Sirius argued sullenly. "Wouldn't he've, Wormtail?"

"Oh, well, I dunno," Peter said nervously, obviously not wanting to take sides. Sirius, frowning, flapped a hand at him.

"What's with him, anyway?" he said, crossing his arms over his chest. Remus sighed, but didn't say anything in response, leaving Sirius to fume.

Now that Sirius thought about it, James had been acting...odd in the few days he had spent with him. He would crack some joke about girls that were derogatory to say the least, and James would make this weird coughing noise. And if Sirius even mentioned the words Lily or Evans, James would turn very red and begin muttering something about broomsticks. He had shrugged it off; James had been infatuated with Evans for God only knew how long. But somehow, Sirius had a feeling that James was changing and leaving him behind.

That was ridiculous, though, he dismissed. He and James were and always would be best friends; it was pure fact and everyone knew it. And besides, James couldn't stay mad at him forever. He never did. They had fights at least once a week if not once a day, but in the end it all seemed to work out.

So Sirius tried not to think about it any more and ignored the feeling in the pit of his stomach that this was in the least bit different.

With a sigh, he fell asleep, listening to the constant drum of the train hurtling towards Hogwarts and Remus, trying desperately to explain to Peter the difference between Kneazles and cats. Sirius, despite his moods, had to smile. It was a lost battle.

He was halfway asleep when a scream erupted from the compartment next door.