Shown Like the Sun

Chapter 10

There are things you can replace

And others you cannot

The time has come to weigh those things...

--The Grateful Dead

***

Althea and Sirius had not spoken for three days.

In vain, she attempted to remove Sirius from her home. The morning of Remus' departure (Remus, of course, did not say goodbye), she unlocked the doors to the carriage house and startled the hippogriff outside; however, the only results of her actions were her poor, trampled garden and Sirius' accusations of hippogriff brutality. The second day, while Sirius was feeding the hippogriff, Althea collected his clothes and other personal items and hurled them into the sea. She spent the evening, with great amusement, watching as Sirius collected his things from the surf. Unfortunately, her amusement ended when an angry Sirius entered, his wet things leaving puddles throughout her home. The third day, she magically changed the locks to all doors and windows. She assumed Sirius spent the night in the carriage house, or her greatest hope, he left.

I reckon he smells awful, she thought as she entered the solarium, like that hippogriff.... Serves him right, this is my bloody home!

Althea frowned. "What are you doing here?" she asked, resting her hands on her hips.

Sirius, with his hands behind his head, reclined against the couch. He turned his head to look at her and smiled. "I have a penknife that unlocks any door," he explained and smiled smugly, "or any window."

"How could I have forgotten?" she remarked, her eyes traveling from Sirius to the opened window. "You ruined every lock at Northfield."

"Right," he began and scratched the side of his face, "we're talking today?"

"Unfortunately so," she sneered as Sirius' smile broadened. "At least you don't reek of hippogriff," she murmured and walked toward her writing desk.

"Oh, I didn't sleep in the carriage house," he replied, and she paused from pulling out her chair. "I slept in a very comfortable bed.... I just opened this window for a bit of fresh air."

Althea frowned. "What will it take for you to leave?" she asked as she sat.

"I can't leave," he laughed. "This, Althea, is the safest place for me."

Althea groaned as she placed paper upon the desk. "Again, how could I have forgotten?" she remarked hollowly as she opened her inkbottle.

"Admit it, you enjoy having me here."

"I'd enjoy you like I'd enjoy a Doxy infestation," she replied and roughly grabbed a quill.

"We both know you can't get rid of Doxies," he teased and the muscles in Althea's neck tensed. "Anyway, I'm more fun...if you know what I mean."

"Right," she sighed, placing her quill before her, "four days ago, you made it quite known that you thought me a horrible woman for unfairly chucking your daughter to some Muggle couple, and now...." Althea shook her head. "You're impossible, you know that."

"I've had time to think," he replied solemnly. "Writing to Remus?"

"No, Afina," she said, dipping her quill in the inkbottle.

"Afina," he murmured. "I've got it! You visit your niece, I stay here, and we'll both be happy."

"I can't," she replied, tapping her quill against the lip of the inkbottle. "Afina's on tour with Pan."

"Pan? Oh, right, that band."

"Yes, that very good band," she replied, fighting a knowing smile. "Anyway, I'm inviting her to stay with me...that means you'll have to leave."

"Likely," Sirius muttered.

Althea paused from writing her greeting. "I might believe in your innocence, but Afina doesn't," she replied plainly and returned to writing. "Go live with Remus, or in a cave...just don't live here, right?"

"As if I'd live in a cave."

"It suits you," she sighed and smiled as she imagined the unpleasant expression on Sirius' face.

"I'm staying," he replied resolutely. "I'll be a loveable stray that you brought in.... Who knows, Afina might enjoy my company."

Althea quickly turned to face Sirius. "You stay away from her," she demanded, pointing her quill at him.

Sirius smirked.

"I mean it," she said, shaking her quill for emphasis. Althea looked to the floor and noticed small dots of black ink. "Bloody hell," she murmured and pointed her wand toward the floor. Althea placed her wand in her dress pocket and looked once more to Sirius. "And you're too old."

Sirius eyes widened as he hastily sat up. "Too old?" he repeated with disbelief.

"Yeah."

Sirius snorted as he rolled his eyes. "Too old," he retorted and threw himself back on the couch. "Too jealous, more like it."

Althea sighed with annoyance as she returned to her letter. "I don't want you back," she said, dipping her quill in ink. "I want you to leave."

"We've gone through this loads of times, Althea," he replied with mild frustration, "this is the safest place for me.... Why don't you leave?"

"It's my bloody house," she said defensively as she attempted a warm greeting in her letter.

"Right, then," he began testily, "with a Permanent Sticking Charm, I'll attach a note to your forehead, in bold letters that I can't leave."

"I'd like to see you try," she muttered and continued her letter.

Sirius laughed. "Do you remember the time I attached a sign with a Permanent Sticking Charm to Snape's back?" he reminisced and laughed once more. "'The Fun Starts Here.'"

Althea fiercely fought a smile. "Yes," she began awkwardly, staring at her paper, "but all he had to do was remove his school robes and it was gone."

"Love, he only had one set."

"You are cruel."

"What?" he asked--his voice higher. "You laughed. You hated me at the time and you still thought it was hilarious."

"I didn't find it hilarious," she answered slowly. "I found it slightly amusing."

"Oh, slightly amusing," he repeated and clicked his teeth. "As if you're innocent," he continued knowingly. "Fifty Galleons from a poor schoolteacher."

"He agreed to it," she replied, noticing the ink on her quill had dried. "He could've benefited from the forfeit if he attended the staff party."

Althea dipped her quill in the inkbottle and frowned at her ink-stained letter. Casting a charm to remove the ink stains, she heard Sirius' footsteps behind her and they stopped at the phonograph. Crouching on the floor, he opened the cabinet and began to search her album collection.

"McCartney...McCartney...oh, Lennon, must be mine," he remarked as she heard him slip the album back into place.

"I don't have any of your albums," she replied as she finished the sentence that invited Afina to her home.

"Apparently not," he sneered. "Pan...Hobgoblins? Hobgoblins, Althea?" he asked with surprise.

Althea looked up from her letter to look at Sirius, who--with a raised eyebrow--looked at the back of the album. "They're a good band," she replied defensively as Sirius looked up from the album to her.

"They wore makeup," he replied flatly and placed the album back, "and the lead--"

"He wasn't," she interrupted and Sirius smirked. "He wasn't."

"Okay, Althea," he said--fighting a laugh--and winked.

Althea returned to her letter and immediately extended the invitation to Pan--for after a grueling tour, Althea's home would be a relaxing escape. He'll have to leave then, she thought as Sirius commented about her Orpheus albums.

"Ugh, 'Sweet Satisfaction,' how could I ever forget that album?" he groaned. "'Sirius, please buy this for me,'" he continued, impersonating Althea. "I was never so embarrassed."

"Right," she murmured, unconvinced.

"Oh, look at this!" he laughed appreciatively. "A bloody brilliant album cover--a naked woman."

Althea broke the tip of her quill, smudging the word 'lonely.' Of course, it's brilliant, she thought, her body rigid and her face flushing slightly, it's me. Althea vividly remembered the early afternoon on which that photograph was taken. She closed her eyes and secretly smiled, remembering the warm, soft grass against her nude body--the nudity was her idea. The muscles of her abdomen constricted in excitement as she remembered the cool paint Alexander used to write in elaborate cursive, 'Davina,' across her upper abdomen.

"'To my lovely, Davina, smile and laugh, you sweet, sad creature. So full of love, and yet, no one to reach you. Bloom, Althea. Your Alexander,'" Sirius read and Althea felt her stomach sink. "'Your Alexander?'"

Althea opened her eyes, disappointed that he would interrupt her memory. "So?" she asked, turning to face him.

"You shagged him, didn't you?" he demanded, pointing to the album cover of Althea's torso.

Althea smiled as 'Davina' shimmered from purple to blue. "I'm the woman on the bloody cover," she replied proudly.

Sirius quickly opened and closed his mouth.

"It's tastefully done," she explained as Sirius stared at the album cover. "Look, you can't see my breasts--my hair's covering them," she continued, pointing to the bottom of a partially exposed breast. "It's just a close-up of my abdomen."

Sirius bit the inside of his cheek. "You're a schoolteacher."

"I wasn't a schoolteacher then," she replied dismissively and smiled as a purple butterfly landed next to her navel. "You wouldn't have known if I hadn't have told you."

Sirius grunted as he stared at Althea's bare abdomen.

"You should be proud that so many can admire that lovely photograph," she said and Sirius made a face.

"I reckon they have," he muttered as his thumb slowly stroked the album cover. He sighed and pensively looked up at Althea. "Prudence could see this, you know."

Althea's smile faltered. He was correct--Prudence could see the photograph of her naked mother. I was only twenty-one, she thought as a gentle breeze caught Althea's hair in the photograph. Look at me, though...I was so happy. I hadn't been that happy in ages. I felt so beautiful...I haven't felt that beautiful since then.

Althea returned to her letter. "I was happy, Sirius," she said, purposefully folding the letter. "It was one of the few times since I lost her that I was happy." Althea sniffed as she stood. "I'm posting this letter," she said quietly as she stepped around him.

***

Sirius sat on the floor, the box at his side, and the photographs, drawings, and other mementos of Prudence were strewn around him. Everyday I've caught him looking at her things, she thought as she entered the sitting room. He'll look at them for hours. Without asking if he would be bothered by it, Althea turned on the television. She rarely watched television (she did so to keep up her Muggle persona), but she was informed a news program would feature her friends' redecorated home. It's remarkable how Sophie transformed that south garden, she thought as she sat on the comfortable couch. I couldn't believe George discovered the original eighteenth century designs inside an old writing desk in the attic. Althea looked up at her ceiling. I wonder what I'd discover if I lurked about this old attic.

"Why Muggles?"

Althea lowered her head and looked at Sirius, who intently looked at a photograph. His expression was hardened, and to Althea, he seemed to look through the photograph.

"What Wizarding family would want to raise our baby?" she replied soberly.

Sirius slightly shook his head as he continued to stare at the photograph. "It's denying who she really is--"

"You never wanted any of your children to carry your last name anyway," she interrupted and noticed the program had begun.

"No," he corrected, looking up from the photograph, "she's not Muggle-born. It will be difficult for her...the names, the teasing." Sirius' eyes returned to the photograph. "She shouldn't be put through that."

"You think there wouldn't be name-calling and teasing if she had stayed with me?" she asked with humorous disbelief.

Sirius was silent.

"Look, you're the prime example about the difficulties of overcoming the family, Sirius," she began to explain and frowned as the television segment about her friends started. "It was so easy for the public to believe those things because you were a Black."

Sirius' jaw tightened.

"I know it's awful, but it's true," she continued earnestly. "Our daughter is free to choose her own way without a name or a history holding her back.... I know that she's fiercely loyal. She would be fiercely loyal to you and would feel it necessary to defend you."

Sirius opened his mouth and inhaled a ragged breath.

"Is that what you want?" she asked, her eyes quickly flickering to the television screen to see Sophie's smiling face. Althea returned her gaze to Sirius--his face had softened. "Her constantly fighting through life? She doesn't have to fight."

"She's living a lie," he insisted solemnly.

"She's living the best possible life," she said pleadingly. "She is living the life I would imagine during my pregnancy as I spent nights alone in the cottage." Althea looked to the screen--the segment was over--and closed her eyes. "She's thriving."

"She's living a lie," he repeated.

Althea opened her eyes and sighed with slight desperation. "She's happy," she said and knelt next to him. Althea took the photograph of Althea and Prudence at Hogwarts into her hands and presented it to Sirius. "Look," she began, pointing to a smiling Prudence, "she's exceedingly happy. She has loads of friends. Do you think she'd have friends if others knew? No, she'd be very lonely...or worse, have the wrong friends."

Sirius furrowed his eyebrows as he stared at the photograph. Prudence winked. "Loads of friends?" he murmured, stroking Prudence's face.

"Loads," she repeated, leaning closer to better look at the photograph. "I wrote to them--the Parkers...they'll know you're innocent," she explained quietly, looking at the side of Sirius' face. "Eventually, you will clear your name and she'll know the truth. She won't fear you.... She has this brilliant imagination. She'll turn you into some tragic hero, or something...which is more than she'll ever think of me," she added and scratched her right temple.

"No," he replied, looking into Althea's eyes, "she thinks the world of you. I can tell."

"I don't want to get my hopes up," she said quietly and gently bit her bottom lip.

"One of us has to," he murmured and slowly returned his gaze to the photograph. "She belongs with you.... I've never made you that happy," he continued ruefully as the Althea in the photograph grinned at Prudence. "When my name is cleared...we'll right this," he insisted solemnly.

Althea caught her breath as she looked into Sirius' eyes. She finally understood. No one ever made me that happy...he does understand, she thought and took a shaky breath. He truly believes that if he did this one thing--if he brought her back to me....

Althea nodded slowly. "We will."

Sirius' lips upturned into a small smile. "Right," he breathed.

Althea smiled slightly as he returned to looking at the photograph. She gently jerked her head forward--the urge to kiss Sirius, overwhelming, but caught herself doing so. No, you promised yourself it was over, she thought, uncomfortable with herself and her weakness. What good could come of it? That urge would happen again--she was sure of it--but next time, would she be strong enough to fight it? Would she continue to fight it? Sirius smiled as his index finger tenderly stroked the photograph of Althea and Prudence. He does love you, she thought as she saw Sirius blink--small tears collected on his thick, black eyelashes. He just doesn't love you enough. Uneasy, she sat back and fiddled with the embroidery of her sundress.

"Would you tell me about this?" he asked, presenting her with a photograph.

Althea blinked as the photograph came into focus. "Oh," she replied, letting go of her hem, "it's her first bath. Well, the first bath I gave her."

Sirius watched as the young Althea kissed the top of Prudence's soapy head. "She's so soapy," he commented and laughed through his nose as the young Althea spat out soap bubbles.

"She was so slippery," she replied, feeling a bittersweet enjoyment at Sirius' interest. "I was so afraid I'd drop her."

Sirius turned to look at Althea. "Wizarding babies do bounce," he teased and winked.

"Just Nymphadora," she replied and winked. "I wouldn't try that experiment on our daughter."

Sirius placed the photograph in the box and thoughtfully looked at Althea. "Have you spoken with them...Andromeda and Ted, I mean?"

"Oh no, I haven't," she answered and took a gulp of air. "I haven't spoken to them since...." Althea smiled uncomfortably. "It's been a long time," she finished and took a piece of paper from the box. "Remarkable likeness, don't you think?" she asked, handing him the piece of paper.

Sirius bark-like laugh echoed throughout the sitting room. "Aqua would bring out the yellowness of his teeth," he replied, grinning. "I thought so as he had his wand pointed at my head.... She drew this, then?"

"Of course," she replied proudly, watching as Snape, in a green polka dot dress twirled in front of a mirror. "She almost received detention for it."

Sirius raised an eyebrow.

Althea sighed and stretched her arms. "I might've insinuated that an older student had sketched the lovely drawing," she explained, scratching the back of her head, "and she happened to find it on the Potions room floor."

Sirius threw his head back in laughter.

"He was furious," she added, smiling.

"I reckon so."

"It was so worth it," she remarked as Snape pouted in the drawing.

Sirius let out a laugh of surprise as he looked at Althea.

"What?" she asked, sitting up straight. "I would never let him bully her. He is awful to those children...just awful."

Sirius sighed and looked at her appreciatively. Althea hurriedly shifted her gaze to the television. Admit it, she thought as the program highlighted another garden, you're enjoying this conversation. You enjoy talking with him. You enjoy being with him. You--you can't, Althea. He'll hurt you again or you him. It'll never be perfect...or normal.

"Would you have dinner with me, tonight?"

Althea returned her gaze to Sirius. "What?"

"Dinner with me, tonight?" he repeated and tilted his head from side to side. "As friends?"

Althea shook her head. "I really don't--"

"It'll be better than eating alone," he interrupted, but Althea frowned. "I'll cook," he offered eagerly, quickly raising and lowering his eyebrows.

"Oh, you'll cook," she replied awkwardly.

Feeling her cheeks blush a little, Althea shyly looked at her skirt. Oh, why do I feel like I'm fifteen, she thought, feeling the heat travel from her neck to her shoulders. He'll see--what do I mean, 'he'll see?' He sees!

"Yeah, why not?" he asked, tugging at her skirt. "You enjoy my breakfasts."

Althea took the hem of her skirt from him. "Have you ever...?"

"Cooked a dinner? Yeah," he replied, "it 's been awhile, but I have. Don't you remember?"

Althea smiled weakly. I do, she thought, smoothing her skirt. It was after an awful day at St. Mungo's. I was so exhausted.... I was a Midwife...but all able Healers.... You surprised me with dinner. What a mess you made...but it was good...and I was grateful. You really tried then.

"Come on," he encouraged, "it'll be fun."

"Fun," she mouthed, staring at the embroidery of her skirt.

Sirius raised her chin with his index finger and thumb. Her skin tingled at the touch of his smooth fingertips. "Afraid you might enjoy it?"

Althea removed his hand and reluctantly looked into his eyes. "No."

Sirius smiled mischievously. "Don't be a coward, Morrigan, say yes," he teased and winked.

Althea laughed uncomfortably as Sirius nodded with encouragement. "All right, I will."