A Matter of Circumstance

Chapter 5 - Conversations

The afternoon sun felt pleasantly warm on Harry's skin as he and Ginny strolled through the garden at The Burrow. The tranquil atmosphere was a balm to his battered spirits. They had been wandering side by side in silence for nearly five minutes, neither in a hurry to begin a difficult conversation.

Finally Harry decided that he would broach the one item from Ginny's letter that had confused him. He cleared his throat and glanced at her. "Ginny, what was it that you thought we needed to discuss in private?"

"Oh..." Ginny's cheeks tinged pink. "You would pick the hardest thing to talk about first." She lowered her gaze to watch the ground. "Well... it's about tonight."

"The talk with your brothers?" Harry asked.

"No... not exactly."

Harry looked out and gazed off into the distance, waiting for Ginny to continue. It finally occurred to him just what she was referring to by 'tonight'. "You mean, tonight... later tonight," he prompted.

"Yes." She seemed relieved that he understood, but quickly added, "but it does have to do with talking to my brothers, too." She stopped walking and rubbed her forehead. "Oh, I'm not making this very clear."

Harry stopped and turned to face her. "I'm afraid not," he said hesitantly, then added a depreciating smile. "But I'm sure I'm just being dense."

She dropped her hand from her forehead, looked up at him and rolled her eyes. "Harry, you are not dense," she said firmly before heaving an exasperated sigh. "It's just so hard to say." Her gaze left his face and she resumed her trek down the garden path.

Harry turned and followed her, taking long strides to catch up. "Then just say it... don't worry about how it sounds or being proper."

She glanced at him sideways. "I suppose, by this time, we should be able to share anything with each other without embarrassment." Ginny looked out to the horizon and took a deep breath. "Harry, we need to have sex this afternoon. Before dinner. I just can't bear the thought of telling my brothers what we have to do... then having to leave early enough to meet the deadline. Everyone knowing what we'll do."

Harry stopped short in his tracks, his eyes wide, envisioning six angry brothers. "I hadn't thought of that," he replied, his voice strained with embarrassment.

"Yes, well... that's why I brought it up." Ginny stopped and turned to face him. "I don't know about you, but last night with my parents was bad enough."

Harry nodded slowly in agreement. Looking anywhere but directly at Ginny, he asked, "Did... did you want to go now?"

"I thought we might talk to Mum first," she hesitantly replied. "We might be able to get away without announcing why we're going."

He finally met her gaze. "What do you have in mind?"

Ginny glanced toward the house and then back to Harry. "Did you really mean it... is it really all right if I stay with you?"

"Of course, I meant it. I wouldn't have agreed otherwise." Harry reached out to take her hand in reassurance. "You do realize it will make things... more comfortable for me as well."

Ginny nodded. "I was thinking... well, if we tell Mum first that I'll be staying with you, we could then take some of my things to your house... and take care of other matters while we're there." She looked up at Harry questioningly.

Harry squeezed her hand and smiled. "That would work." Wrinkling his nose, he looked toward the house. "Though I can't say I'm looking forward to facing your mum."

"I appreciate you being with me. She'll be less likely to get into a row with you here."

"I'm not so sure, Ginny" he replied uncertainly. Releasing her hand, he raked his fingers through his hair. "I don't think I'm your parents' favorite person right now. Last night... well... do you know, your dad didn't speak directly to me once? I don't even think he looked at me. And your mum's response, well... you saw." Harry closed his eyes, the anguish within him swelling. "I hate this."

"Oh, Harry... they were just worried. They had already spent the evening in a state of panic over my disappearance. They just feel... helpless." Ginny placed a hand on his arm. "They don't blame you. They don't like this situation anymore than we do, but they do understand."

Although they might understand the situation, Harry wasn't so sure that they didn't blame him. He had never known the Weasleys to treat him with such indifference before. It sickened him to think of losing the respect of the people who were most like parents to him. Apparently, sometimes understanding isn't enough.

Harry was tired of guessing what people felt. He was tired of wondering where he stood with people. He didn't want euphemisms. or platitudes... or prevarication. Dealing with this situation had pushed him close to the edge and he was frustrated. In his frustration, he became reckless and lashed out at Ginny, "So... everybody's just fine with it? Everyone understands? Does Mark understand?"

At first, Ginny seemed startled by his question. Then, with a slight edge to her voice, she retorted, "He's upset, of course. Who wouldn't be? But there's nothing he can do about it. Just because he's upset doesn't mean he doesn't understand."

Harry knew he was treading on thin ice with Ginny, but he pushed on. "What did he say to you? I saw him get mad. He said something to you that made you... well... it made you look scared."

Ginny's eyes narrowed. "So... you were there longer than you let on," she said slowly. She pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes. "I wasn't scared. Surprised maybe... but not scared."

Harry wasn't buying it -- what he had seen hadn't been surprise. "Are you going to tell me what he said?" He knew he had no right to ask, but he felt responsible. His voice dropped to nearly a whisper. "Please, don't lie to me."

Ginny looked off to the distance. "He was upset, Harry. He was hurting and just instinctively lashed out to hurt me back. He didn't mean it."

Harry stood patiently waiting for Ginny to answer his question. He didn't understand why he felt this way, but for some reason, he needed to know what Mark had said that had hurt Ginny.

After a full minute of Harry's silence, Ginny finally relented. "He accused me of wanting to be with you," she said in a small voice. "He knows how I... how I felt about you." Ginny's gaze returned to his own, her eyes bright with unshed tears. "He apologized. I'm willing to let it go. Why can't you? Don't we have enough stress right now?"

Harry immediately regretted pressuring Ginny. "I'm sorry," he sighed. "I guess this is all just getting to me." He gazed at her, knowing it was more than the fact that the circumstances were affecting him. It was high time he admit it to her as well. "I'm worried about you... how this is affecting you and your life. Do you think... er... will Mark be able to get past this? I mean, you don't think he'll break off your engagement, do you?"

"Honestly, I don't know. It's a lot to overcome. And we don't know what will come of it. We'll just have to wait and see," she replied.

At the forlorn look on her face, Harry felt a weight settle upon him. "I mean it, Gin. How are you holding up?" he asked gently.

"You saw me earlier. I'd be lying if I said the stress wasn't getting to me, too."

Harry finally found the courage to ask the question that had plagued him since he'd risen from bed this morning. "Did I... hurt you last night?"

Shaking her head Ginny replied, "Well, other than what is expected for a woman's first time, no. I'm not physically damaged, if that's what you mean."

He knew there was emotional damage without asking. "I'm so sorry, Ginny." After a moment of silence, an idea occurred to him. He wasn't sure how she'd react but he couldn't bear the thought of her continuing to suffer. "I could Obliviate most of the memory... if you want," he offered.

Ginny gaped at him for several moments. "Harry Potter," she began in tight, clipped tones, "last night may not have been the stuff dreams are made of, but it's now a part of who I am. I wouldn't give up what happened between us for all the gold in Gringotts."

Harry was surprised at her vehemence. He would have thought she would be eager to rid herself of the unpleasant memory. But as he considered her reaction, he realized that he felt the same way.

Noticing the sun hanging lower in the sky, he looked back to the house and said, "We'd better go talk to your mum."

*****

To their surprise, Harry and Ginny found Mr. and Mrs. Weasley in The Burrow's lounge having a quiet discussion.

"Dad! I didn't know you'd be home." Ginny walked across the room and gave her father a kiss on his cheek. "I'm glad you're both here," she continued while taking a seat in a chair nearby, "I have something I want to tell you."

Harry moved to stand next to Ginny, and faced her parents. Mrs. Weasley looked at Ginny with the same solicitousness she always did. Harry noticed that there seemed to be a few more worry lines on her face today. Mr. Weasley appeared to be concentrating his full attention on his daughter. He avoided meeting Harry's gaze, or so it seemed to Harry. Clasping his hands in front of him, he adopted a determined stance.

"Until this situation is resolved," Ginny bravely continued, "I've decided that I'm going to be staying at Harry's."

"What!?" Mr. Weasley nearly came up out of his seat. Harry stood steady, determined to be a rock of support for Ginny.

"You will do no such thing!" Mrs. Weasley firmly added.

"Hear me out," Ginny demanded. "I've thought this through." She began ticking off her reasons. "First, Hogsmeade is much closer to Portree. It will be at least one quarter the distance to Apparate to practice. Second, I can't expect Madam Pomfrey to leave Hogwarts everyday to come here to check to see if the spell has been broken. Third, it will just be too complicated for Harry and me to try to coordinate our schedules, seeing as how we play on two different Quidditch teams."

"It's just not right!" objected Mrs. Weasley. "A young witch living with a wizard she's not married to. How do you think that would look?--"

"--Honestly, Mum! This isn't the dark ages--"

"--And what do you think people will say about your father... the Minister's own daughter? It's outrageous! Living with one wizard, engaged to another. What will Mark make of all this?--"

"--What's not right is this damn spell!" Ginny shouted before closing her eyes and taking a calming breath. When she opened her eyes, she continued in a calm voice, "This isn't going to be public information. It's not like I'll take an ad out in the Daily Prophet or anything. And as for Mark, he understands and supports me." Sitting up straighter, she said, "I am an adult and this is my decision."

"You aren't acting like an adult!" Mrs. Weasley retorted.

"Molly, dear," Mr. Weasley interjected, patting his wife's hand. He looked to his daughter and in a restrained voice said, "Ginny, your mum and I only want what's best for you. I understand your reasons but I'm afraid I don't agree that this is the best decision. It just isn't appropriate."

Harry had reached a point where he could no longer stay out of it. "No," he spoke out, "What's not appropriate is Ginny and I being forced into this." Harry was taken aback when Mr. Weasley's piercing stare turned upon him. Swallowing his fear, he appealed, "I understand your concerns and I share them. But until we come up with a spell to break this curse, I have to think about how Ginny and I can deal with this. You have to realize how difficult the...the logistics of this is for both of us. She and I agree... Without putting too fine a point on it, we can't do this here. I can't be with her here... under your roof. I've known and respected both of you for too long to do what needs to be done here. It's just too much." Harry held Mr. Weasleys gaze, not blinking.

A barrier seemed to break as Mr. Weasley's expression softened. He looked to Harry with understanding in his eyes. "I see. Then... that's settled." Squeezing Mrs. Weasley's hand he looked to her and said, "I could use a cup of tea. Would you mind getting me one, dear?" Mrs. Weasley gave him a puzzled look and frowned. After a moment's hesitation, she nodded and rose to go to the kitchen.

Mr. Weasley then looked at Ginny pointedly. "You should go pack up a few things to take with you, don't you think?"

Harry watched as Ginny hesitated and then looked up at him. Harry understood what Mr. Weasley was doing. He looked back at Ginny and tried to convey to her with a slight nod that he would be all right.

Ginny returned her gaze to her father and said in an unconvinced tone, "Yes, I suppose I should." She slowly rose and headed for the stairs, stopping only once to look back at Harry and her father.

Harry kept his back straight and his chin up, intent on showing no weakness. He stood stock still, waiting. He didn't have to wait long.

Mr. Weasley rose from his seat and paced the floor. "Harry," he began, his voice pitched low, "for almost twelve years I've had the pleasure of knowing you... of thinking of you as one of my own. In that time, I have never once regretted your presence in our lives." He halted his pacing and faced Harry. "Despite what has happened, that has not and will not change." He paused again, his eyes turning somber. "I hope you never know what it's like to have your baby girl being used... her life being turned upside down... and being helpless to do anything about it. All that's left is to try to be there for her... to dry her tears... help her pick up the pieces." Tears glistened in the corners of his eyes and he swallowed with effort. "It seems, this time, I cannot be there to comfort her." He placed his hand on Harry's shoulder. "Please, Harry... take care of my baby."

Harry placed a sympathetic hand on Mr. Weasley's shoulder in return. Looking into the grieving father's eyes, he vowed, "You know I will."