Disavowals

Chapter Nineteen - Ironico

In six years, nearly seven, at Hogwarts, Theo had never entered the Headmaster's office. He'd never been bad enough, or good enough. He wondered which was applicable here. He had to stop in the corridor to ask Harry Potter, who was looking even more tired than normal, exactly where it was.

"Fifth floor. Behind the gargoyle," Potter told him. "What happened?"

Theo sighed. "Long story. Much like yours, I imagine. Suffice it to say that Draco Malfoy isn't going to be a problem for you from now on."

Potter's eyebrows shot up. "He-"

"-left. Snape was spitting. He has apparently developed a keen sense of justice. Of something, anyway."

"Left." Potter looked stunned. Theo supposed that when someone painted themselves as your worst enemy for seven years, and then just vanished while you were away, it would be startling.

"Yes. I'd better go. Thanks, anyway."

"Mmm," said Potter absently, frowning to himself. "Left?" Theo could hear him muttering as he walked away. "He can't have just left!"

Theo smirked, feeling more in control of the situation. He wasn't the only one thrown off-course by today's events.

The gargoyle on the fifth floor slid soundlessly aside as Theo approached it. He shrugged it off. Dumbledore didn't know everything that went on in the school, but Theo would have been surprised if he hadn't know when someone approached his office. Theo took the spiral staircase in long strides to the door at the top, trying to contain a sudden bout of nerves. He reached for the handle, then paused, and knocked.

"Come in," called the Headmaster's voice through the wood, and Theo opened the door.

The office was larger than he'd thought, walls covered with portraits that were all looking straight at him. The picture of an black-bearded man in green robes looked down his nose at Theo.

"This is the Slytherin, Albus? I expected better of one of mine."

"Now, Phineas, don't jump to conclusions," Dumbledore admonished the portrait.

Anne was already there, sitting on the couch next to a Muggle man Theo did not recognise. Judging by the circumstances, though, Theo rather thought he might be Anne's father. The thought did not make him feel any better. Quite the contrary.

"Ah, Theodore. Do take a seat. Sherbet lemon?" Dumbledore offered him some sort of yellow lozenge-looking thing. Theo shook his head.

"Uh, no, thank-you, Headmaster." He sat down on one of the chairs next to Anne's side of the couch. He couldn't very well sit down next to her, after all.

He shot a glance at Anne, but she didn't meet it, being apparently very interested in the far wall. He could understand the attraction.

"Now, both of you," Dumbledore said, looking at them over the rims of his glasses, "I believe an explanation of today's events for Mr Fairleigh is in order. I know you may not feel ready to speak of it, but it is better to do it now, believe me."

So it was Anne's father. When the man nodded calmly at him and said, "Hello, Theodore, I've been hearing quite a lot about you," Theo only managed to mumble, "Ah, hmm, hello, Mr Fairleigh," and try not to stare at the carpet. He wished Mary Fairleigh had come. At least he'd met her before.

"Dad," Anne began hesitantly, "you've seen Terry?"

Her father nodded, lips tightening. "Yes. She seems...surprisingly bouncy, from what your school matron told me."

"Well, it's Terry, after all," Theo couldn't help commenting, then wished he hadn't. "That is, she's, um, not easily deterred."

"No, she isn't," agreed Mr Fairleigh. "She was a bit scattered in her story-telling, though."

"Terry has never liked telling stories," Anne sighed. "She's never had the patience. I can't tell you very much. I was in the library when Susan Bones and Justin Finch-Fletchley - they're in Theo's year, Dad - came in. They said there was a meeting for the DA, and I needed to come now. Something about Harry Potter, they said."

"Taking advantage of my absence, one assumes," Dumbledore noted. "Do go on."

Anne shrugged, still not looking at Theo. "Well, I went with them - or I thought it was them - and when we got to the Room of Requirement, that's where the meetings are -"

"You thought it was them?" Jonathan Fairleigh interrupted. "It wasn't?"

"Polyjuice Potion," Theo filled in. He continued when the man looked blank. "It turns you into someone else for an hour or so. Totally illegal. Difficult to make. I'm sure Terry will be brewing it up in your kitchen in a few years."

"Don't encourage her," Anne said, laughing, and finally glancing his way. "You know she'll try."

She looked back at her father, apparently remembering where she was. "Anyway. They were really Pansy Parkinson and Draco Malfoy. Two Slytherins, in Theo's year."

"Death Eaters," Theo added. "I - we underestimated them. Badly."

"Death Eaters killed a cousin of yours, around New Years', didn't they?" Anne's father asked, shifting on the couch. "With Anne's friend Gabby."

Theo shrugged, smiling bitterly. "They did. And half of them are - well, there aren't many people who haven't lost someone, these days. Maybe none."

"So what were they doing at Hogwarts?" Anne's father turned to Dumbledore. "That's what I don't understand!"

"As Theodore said, Mr Fairleigh, we underestimated them. I had hoped that, as students, they could be...persuaded of the error of their ways. I persisted, perhaps, too long in trying. I am sorry that it has brought this on your family."

"Lucky it wasn't worse," Anne and Theo muttered together, exchanging dark glances. They both looked away when the Headmaster and Jonathan Fairleigh turned to them.

"So how did Terry get mixed up in this?"

"I was in one of the rooms set aside for music practice, on the fourth floor," Theo said. It was quite interesting how guilty you could feel over totally innocent things - er, well, things that you shouldn't have to feel guilty about - just because your girlfriend's father was in the room. "Terry'd been practising her 'cello -"

"She's keeping that up? I'm glad."

"Oh yes," Anne said, " she certainly is."

"She got me to help her tune one of the school ones that was out," Theo continued, "and then we were chatting about things." Remembering what those things had been, he added hastily, "But then Ernie Macmillan showed up - one of the Hufflepuff seventh-years - only it wasn't him, of course, it was Blaise Zabini. I should have known." He scowled, remembering. "It was so damned obvious, when I think about it. But I missed it, and he fed me the same line that the other two gave Anne, and...we followed him. The rest...I guess Terry told you."

"Mostly, yes." Anne's father looked at him searchingly. "Why...hurt her, though? She skipped that part."

Anne's lips twitched unwillingly. Theo kept his mouth shut. This wasn't his to say.

"Terry has a, um, very Gryffindor attitude towards these things," Anne explained. "She started...well, she wasn't being rude, precisely, but most people held at wand-point by Death Eaters don't start asking them which recipe they used for Polyjuice Potion."

Theo was sure he saw Dumbledore smile at that.

"That sounds like Terry," Jonathan Fairleigh agreed. "The wrong words in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"In the wrong company," Theo felt compelled to add, shifting on his seat.

"Hmm." Anne's father's expression unreadable. "I suppose...Professor Dumbledore, what are the chances of this happening again?"

"None," Theo and Anne said together, in very firm tones.

"I would concur." Dumbledore nodded gravely. "Frankly, Mr Fairleigh, if there is further danger to either of your daughters here - it is not one we can guess at. In these times, they are as safe here as they are anywhere. Hogwarts has never fallen, from within or without."

"Touch wood," Anne murmured under her breath, shooting Theo a wry glance.

"That sounds like something you don't want to repeat too often," Jonathan Fairleigh surmised. "Very well. Anne, I'll leave it up to you. I know what Terry will say."

"Leave what up to me?" Anne said, in a puzzled voice.

Theo could guess, and he tensed. If Anne left -

"Do you wish to stay at Hogwarts, Miss Fairleigh?" Dumbledore said, steepling his hands.

"I can't leave Hogwarts!" Anne burst out in tones of utter panic. "I - exams - I mean - Theo - and - I'm a witch!"

Theo tried not to smile at being included in that list. It was very easy not to when Jonathan Fairleigh shot him a sharp glance.

"Your mother said you'd say that," he remarked.

"Mum gets it," Anne said glumly. "Er. Not that you don't, Dad."

"I do my best."

Theo looked away. The memories were too raw. What I would give to hear my father say that...

"If that is settled, then," Dumbledore said gently, "we had best let you two get down to the Hall before dinner finishes. Unless you have any questions?"

Theo shook his head mutely. None for you, Headmaster, and none you could answer.

"Is there anyone else you're giving the benefit of the doubt, Professor?" Anne asked unexpectedly, her voice clear and hard.

Dumbledore regarded her for a long moment. "I feel it is always best to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, Miss Fairleigh. Wouldn't you agree?" His gaze flickered to Theo.

There was some love, but little policy, Theo quoted to himself. But Theo himself was not -

Oh, and Dumbledore had such assurance of your loyalty before last summer.

A lot of people have given me the benefit of the doubt this year, haven't they?

"Not forever," Anne said, retreating to her normal quiet, "not for too long."

"That's harsh, Anne," her father commented. "It's not like you to say that."

"I know."

Theo smiled grimly. Oh yes. For better or worse, none of us are escaping unscathed. .

*

The last few weeks of the spring term vanished into thin air so quickly that even Theo could almost have sworn magic was involved, and Muggle-born Anne was prepared to swear there was. Although she was equally prepared to credit relief; the disappearance of the worst dangers to Theo (inside Hogwarts) was the talk of the school for weeks, superseded only by Ginny Weasley's return, pale but determined, from St. Mungo's. She would not talk about what had sent her there; neither would her brother, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom, or Luna Lovegood, besieged as they were by questioners. Potter finally put a stop to it in DA meetings by announcing that "we can't talk about it. And we won't. So, please, guys, just let it go."

Anne and Theo were singularly less successful. The mystery around their own adventure was deep enough that most people knew far less than they did about Potter and his friends', but it did not stop speculative looks and "casual" questions. Theo returned, grim-faced, from a confrontation with those of his Housemates in seventh-year who remained. Anne gathered that harsh words had passed, but she didn't press too far.

"I don't know if it's better than being ignored, or worse, yet," Theo had said. "But it's safer, any road."

"Why so?"

He'd shaken his head, smiling grimly. "They're not that stupid, and I dropped...a few hints. They don't know it's rubbish, and as long as they don't...Haywood's been helping, too. No one younger wants to get in her way. So I think I'm safe."

"Crabbe and Goyle?" Anne had known the question was foolish.

Theo had snorted. "Without Malfoy, they're not worth bothering about. Too stupid to do anything, not smart enough to try. I don't know why they're in Slytherin at all."

Careful pressure had persuaded Anne's dormmates that she was not going to be murdered the minute she stepped outside their common room alone, at least, not now. Not that they allowed her the freedom she'd once had to come and go unnoticed, but it was better than being accompanied almost everywhere she went. Hogwarts had been acquiring a sort of ghastly claustrophobia over the last few months; the lifting of it was the lifting of a weight in her heart. Terry helped in no little measure by getting herself released from the Hospital Wing the day after the attack and promptly racing her friends Alex and Jake down the corridors, skidding to a halt when their Head of House appeared, falling down the stairs, and breaking her arm. Anne couldn't condone the incident, but Theo, who had witnessed the whole thing, told it in such indignant and disapproving tones that it sent Anne into stitches of laughter. Her wry accusation that Theo had better watch out or he'd start caring what happened to Terry had provoked the withering response that it had nothing to do with him, just Anne's foolhardy little Gryffindor of a sister who ought to know better, thank you very much. He was merely trying to ensure that she did not break her neck and upset Anne.

Paradoxically, new-found freedom did not let her see any more of Theo - rather the opposite. The arrival of job application forms, or perhaps the thought that exams were only two months away, had sent all the seventh years deep into a whirl of study and homework. They could all be seen up to their elbows in ink and parchment in the common room, or carrying great stacks of books through the library. Anne wasn't looking forward to her own trial by fire next year with any great pleasure, right at this moment.

There were bleak spots, as well. The war did not cease because three of Voldemort's followers had been driven from Hogwarts. On the contrary. Anne lived with the silent thought that one day soon it might be her and Terry called to the Headmaster's office for the personal imparting of the worst news. A small, fatalistic portion of her considered it only a matter of time. It was the twin of the part of Theo which gave that wry, grim twist to his face whenever he mentioned the O'Neills; the same almost prophetic knowledge of how bad things had become, and just how much worse they would almost certainly get. The only surety or hope they could cling to was that attacks on relatives of Hogwarts students had dropped, because while there were too many half-blood and Muggle-born wizards for the Ministry to protect, they could keep track of those at Hogwarts, and keep track of those most in danger of that group. Anthony Goldstein had worked out that statistically your chances were worst if you were aged between twenty and thirty, with either one or two Muggle parents, and living in the south of England. That summary had gone around Hogwarts within an hour of its mention to one of his Ravenclaw Housemates, and was clung to tenaciously by every non-pure-blood student, which was quite a few. But it wasn't enough, and if Anne had been brought up to be religious, she would have been praying nightly. As it was the idea was tempting.

As a good Hufflepuff Anne could not but approve of Theo's dedication towards his study (or apparent dedication) but it didn't make her any happier about its encroachment on his free time. Any time alone with Theo was to be treasured. Even when discussions took an odd turn, as happened one afternoon.

"It's funny..." Anne mused aloud.

Theo shot her a look that questioned her sanity. "You can find anything funny right now?"

"Ironic?" Anne hazarded. "Amusing? Interesting? Noteworthy?"

"Yes, point taken. What's...interesting?"

"How Muggles aren't really that different from u-" Anne snapped her mouth shut.

There was an odd smile on Theo's face. "No...no, they aren't. In most ways."

Anne groaned, and buried her face in her hands. "I was not going to say that. I wasn't. That's not what I meant!"

"Isn't it?"

"You're not helping, Theo!"

"So?"

Anne scowled up at him. "You know that wasn't what I meant. I meant - it's strange how wizards aren't that different from Muggles. That's what I meant."

Theo squeezed her shoulder. "You're one of us, that's all there is to it. Don't spend too much time worrying about it."

"You are insufferably arrogant, Theodore Nott," Anne muttered darkly.

He hesitated. "Was I being?"

Anne's mouth twitched. "Yes."

Theo shrugged. "Ah, well."

Anne contemplated hitting him, and thought of a better revenge. "What I was going to say, before you interrupted me, is that my father was right."

"About what?" Theo said, folding his arms and leaning against the wall. Anne smiled sweetly. "Teenage boys are always afraid of fathers, wizard or Muggle. There's some circuit in your brains that trips the panic button."

Theo straightened, protesting indignantly. "I was not afraid of your father!"

"No, you seemed very comfortable."

He pushed his hair up off his forehead, muttering. "I was, thank you very much."

"Glad to hear it."

He gave her a dark look, but Anne just grinned. "I told you it was interesting."

She thought she caught the words "bloody Hufflepuffs", but chose to ignore them.

"How are your Housemates taking things?"

Theo relaxed, apparently sensing the needling was over. "As you said. Interesting. The power struggles are quite something to watch, with the vacuum Malfoy left."

"To watch?" Anne cocked an eyebrow.

"What's to struggle for?" He shrugged. "One term of feeling superior? It's not worth it. Besides, I'm still a pariah, just not in mortal danger. Estella Haywood seems to be doing quite well for herself, so far. If she plays her cards right no one will be able to stop her."

"How wonderful."

Theo's lips quirked. "For her it is. Being a half-blood in Slytherin isn't exactly fun, you know."

"I don't imagine it would be. Estella isn't a very...fun person."

"Those aren't quite the words I'd use."

"Oh?"

"Cold-blooded, cold-hearted , er...person."

"I thought you felt sorry for her."

"I have an appreciation of the difficulties of her position. I'm not going to waste actual emotion on her."

Anne looked at him levelly. "Sometimes, Theo, you're..."...a cold-hearted...person yourself, she thought, but "not very nice," was what she said.

"So far, I haven't observed nice getting anyone anywhere fast."

Anne snorted. "As far as I was aware, it's the only way to get anywhere with me at any speed at all."

"I'll make a note of it," Theo said in a way that caused Anne to review what she'd said.

"You know what I meant," she added.

Theo just smiled. "I always know what you mean."

"I'd be surprised," Anne returned. "Anyway, you should still be too scared from meeting my father to be..."

"To be what?"

Anne coughed. "Um...never mind."

"No, really, what was I doing?"

That did deserve physical violence, so Anne swatted him on the arm. "I thought you always knew what I meant?"

"Can I have clarification?"

"Absolutely not," Anne said, losing the fight with herself to laugh and not attempting to fight Theo at all.

*

Theo was being reminded heavily of the differences between the Houses. It was all coming out in his classmates' attitudes towards exams. Hannah Abbot, as she had done the previous two years, was working herself into a nervous wreck. Ernie seemed to think that if you were getting more than three hours' sleep a night, you weren't studying hard enough. No Slytherin would be caught dead actually working, including Theo, but they were all incredibly difficult to locate for reasons they did not choose to make clear to lesser mortals. Including Theo. Cunning and stealing everyone else's notes and listening to Granger explain things to Weasley in the library were all legitimate and useful methods of preparing for exams, but the professors took the view that the best preparation was practice. Which meant essays were due in every class, and unfortunately those actually had to be written. Professor McGonagall, for instance, did not take any excuses and had simply announced that anyone who did not hand in their essays was wasting her time and theirs and would please cease coming to class, since they obviously did not wish to be there. It was a surprisingly effective threat. Nobody wanted to fail.

The Hufflepuff ethos, unlike the Slytherin, did not espouse working on one's own and pretending you weren't, but studying in groups. Theo wasn't entirely sure of the merits of this, but found it enjoyable to be able to do so from time to time. It had begun a few days after the...incident with Malfoy. Theo had not had a chance to speak to the Hufflepuffs, but knew he owed them thanks for coming after him when they'd realised something was up. So when he saw Ernie and his Housemates in the library one Saturday afternoon, he joined their table.

"Hello," Justin said. "Anything interesting been happening lately?"

"Thank God, no, and I hope it stays that way," Theo told him bluntly. "I hope your lives have been equally boring."

Ernie sighed. "I wish they had been."

It didn't take an idiot to pick up on the clue. "Where's Bones got to?"

"Why do you want to know?" Zacharias Smith retorted. Theo had long since learned to ignore him.

"Curiosity," he said.

"Her parents," Hannah Abbott said glumly. "Yesterday. We couldn't get her out of the dorm. And I don't know what she'll do, it's exams so soon, and all this work-"

"Now, Hannah, she'll cope," Ernie reassured his fellow prefect. "She always does."

Theo's lips twisted. "How many of us is that orphaned, now? Half?"

"It couldn't be that many," Justin said uneasily.

"That, or dead." Smith scowled. "Too many. And you're not."

"Smith, you don't know anything about my family, so I suggest you keep your mouth shut on the subject," Theo told him. "Unless you have nothing better to do."

"Really, we've got enough going on without fighting between ourselves," Ernie admonished.

"Indeed," Theo muttered, but took the hint and got on with his work. Smith wasn't worth his time.

He remembered the reason he'd come over just as they were all getting up to go down to dinner.

"By the way -" The comment got Ernie and Justin's attention; Theo was silent more often than not in their company. "Thank-you. For showing up last week."

"Had to investigate, it's my responsibility," Ernie brushed it off. "No problem at all."

Justin shrugged. "Couldn't let you get killed on school grounds, could we?"

"Of course not," Theo agreed dryly. "Tell Susan thank-you, as well, and -" What could you say?

"She knows everyone in the DA supports her," Ernie said. "Or I hope she does. Poor girl."

"Poor everyone," Justin muttered.

"Damn the war," Theo said under his breath. Another blameless student hurt by this war. Every attack on someone he knew made Theo feel sick; who would it be next time? And who had done it?

And what would he do, once Hogwarts was no longer his refuge?

"Amen to that," Ernie said aloud. "Amen."

*

What letters she'd been getting from Eddie had been coming mostly through Terry, so Anne was pleasantly surprised to get one directly from him one Monday morning. She had to rush to her Arithmancy class, but she stopped at the Gryffindor table. Terry was often hard to find, being so small and so fast-moving, but for once she was in a visible and accessible spot.

" - look at the glasses, okay?" Terry was saying. "If the pumpkin juice is in front of the milk, then it's offside, but -"

Anne tapped her on the shoulder. "Terry?"

"Hmm?" Terry looked up. "I'm trying to explain to Cait about offside in football."

"I won't keep you, I've got to dash. Letter from Ed and Nic just came today. Can you meet me in the library after dinner?"

"We've got detention," Terry's friend Jake piped up. "With Professor Sinistra."

"Terry," Anne said warningly.

Her sister had the grace to blush. "It was an accident. See, Alex and me -"

Anne glanced towards the door. "Look, I do have to go. I'll try and find you at lunch." She only got a couple of steps away before looking back. "What could you do in Astronomy?"

Terry's friend Alex waved a casual hand. "Er...there were Slytherins there. And...stuff happened."

Anne shook her head. "Terry, I don't know. Keep out of trouble today."

The last was delivered over her shoulder at a fair pace. Professor Vector locked the classroom to any latecomers and made them wait outside until she was ready for them to come in; Anne didn't have the courage to do as one of her Gryffindor classmates had done in fourth-year and unlock the door. It was a trick that only worked once.

She made it in the nick of time, sliding into the seat beside Dave Hewitt and Brian Lochore, the only other Hufflepuffs. "Sorry, Professor, had to talk to my sister."

"Very well." At least good behaviour won you the benefit of the doubt where Vector was concerned. Someone like Snape would have had Anne up by the heels in no time. "As I was saying, class, we're moving on today with imaginary numbers -"

Well, sarcasm was a small price to pay.

Anne knew Theo was definitely a bad influence when she gave up the fight against temptation and started reading Eddie's letter under the desk. Brian gave her a disapproving stare but she managed to ignore him. It wasn't as if he'd tell on her.

Dear Anne and Terry, the letter began,

The last we heard you were very busy studying for your end-of-year exams so we don't expect a letter back anytime soon. We hope things are not as exciting as Mum and Dad make them sound at Hogwarts - Nicola says she likes exciting things but you know what we mean. I don't know if you'd heard this from them but there was quite a big fight a few weeks ago after Dad had to go and visit you.

Anne bit her lip. Of course she hadn't heard.

Dad was a bit upset about you wanting to stay but you know him, he didn't want to let you know he was upset in case it changed your mind. Stupid, we know you're too bloody stubborn for that It's Nic, tell Eddie off for using bad words! Thank you Nicola, I'll keep the pen from now on. Mum wouldn't hear about you leaving. She said that it wasn't your fault and you shouldn't lose out because other people were doing the wrong thing, and if you left you'd be giving in. Dad said something about your boyfriend and how he hoped that wasn't "influencing your decision", and Mum said why shouldn't it since "it wasn't his fault, either, and he seems like a perfectly nice boy." Dad said something to the effect that he remembered being that age and perfectly nice was only to a degree. As far as I'm concerned, it's your life. Even if he is a prat.

Anne had to stop at this point to copy notes off the board, but managed covert glimpses while waiting for the teacher to write up the next section.

They haven't said anything else though so I think you're OK. We're almost grounded. I tried telling Mum that those Death-people can't hurt us if they don't know where we are and they're more likely to find us at home but will she listen? I don't want them to find us anywhere. I'll add my vote to Nic's on that one. I hope that Portkey thing of yours works if anything happens. But don't panic; I haven't seen anything, or heard anything. Cricket's starting up again so I have to go to practices. Nic is going to sit a Grade 1 piano exam and my ears are getting sore, she's practising so much. That's not nice oh shut up Nic. I have to sit my GCSEs soon and English lit looks AWFUL. I don't know why I took it. Ruddy Austen. History's better, at least all the stuff about the wars is interesting. Not your wars. Ours are all safely in the past, where I hope they stay.

I won't ask about your study since I don't know any of it but, Terry, try not to get into more trouble because you know Dad hates it when you get detentions. Anne, you stay out of trouble too since you seem to manage enough of it. Come home soon. Just think, after exams are over you get to see us again (hah, like they'll ever be over.)

Much love,

Eddie and Nicola.

Alerted by a hissed warning from Dave, Anne shoved the letter under her textbook just in time.

"Miss Fairleigh, what was your answer?"

Anne almost panicked but was saved by her notes. "It indicates a logical failure in the spell, Professor?"

"And that means, Mr. Lochore?"

"Your theoretical basis is wrong," Brian filled in calmly. He was blessed with a memory like an elephant. "You have to start over."

"Quite. Five points to Hufflepuff. Now..."

Anne relaxed. The theory of spell-building was one of the more interesting aspects of Arithmancy (and the reason it attracted a large number of Muggle-borns who wanted to know how magic worked) but lack of attention was lethal. It wasn't like Care of Magical Creatures, a place for gossip; miss one link and you were lost. She should have known better than to read the letter there, but it had been too tempting.

I'm glad we weren't home for that argument. Strange. Mum was the one who had all the reservations about me coming to Hogwarts; Dad was the one who was all for it. What made them swap places on that?

Sounds like home's safe enough, though. Eddie and his exams. Maybe I'll steal his history textbooks and make Theo read them. "Some war in the forties". That was classic. The Battle of the Somme was probably "some Muggle argument a while ago". His Muggle history starts and ends with the Wars of the Roses.

Eddie has no idea about war, though. Ours is happening right now. And I have this feeling we're moving towards a battle. It seems like the last place left for it to come is Hogwarts. "Hogwarts has never fallen." Hah. How many places was that said of before they fell?

But, please, if anyone's listening... not today. Or tomorrow, or next Wednesday, or next month or next year.

For one day at a time. Not today.