On Being The Girl

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On Being The Girl

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There are days when Hermione almost reaches the point of tearing her hair out. Or at the very least, throwing out the hair potion she's gradually come around to using or deliberately unshrinking her teeth. Because, honestly, why can't people look past the fact that she's a girl and can be fairly pretty if she wants to bother?

It's not as though she dislikes being female -- well, perhaps there are certain things she'd rather do without, but what woman ever really likes menstruation? -- but some days it seems as though everyone in the wizarding world is obsessed by the fact that she has two X chromosomes. She is The Girl. And she happens to be best friends with The Boy Who Lived, and His Trusty Friend.

Therefore, ipso facto, she must fall in love with one of them and sneak around having wild passionate sex. And they'll love each other forever and get married and have lots of little babies who'll make life miserable for the next generation of Hogwarts professors.

Bah.

She loves Harry and Ron. And yes, she had a bit of a thing for Harry back in third year, after she'd gotten over Professor Lockhart, and then she'd liked Ron somewhat against her will fourth year -- she thinks, in retrospect, it was more like a mad need to prove to him that she was actually a girl than any real romantic affection -- but she doesn't like either of them that way now. And while Ron may have liked her back -- might still, for all she knows; he's never been any good at figuring out his own emotions, let alone expressing them coherently -- she's fairly sure the idea's never even occurred to Harry. Just look how baffled he was by Cho's jealousy!

And anyway, it certainly isn't as if she needs to fall in love with either of them. If she ever did, at some point, she certainly wouldn't object -- they have a proven record of getting along and being able to work through difficult patches -- but it isn't something she's sitting around waiting for.

She has so many other things to think about. There's Voldemort, for one, and her post-Hogwarts career, for another. And yes, at some point it would probably be nice to find someone, settle down, and raise some sort of family, but the way some people go on about it you'd think she had a gaping hole in the middle of her life, just aching and begging one of her two best friends to come along and fill it.

Metaphorically and otherwise.

And so she grits her teeth and carefully doesn't reach for her hair or her wand, and doesn't curl her hand into a fist, and doesn't say anything other than, "It's none of your business," when anyone asks her whether she likes Harry or Ron better.

Because honestly, it isn't anyone's business except hers. And she isn't waiting, and she isn't yearning over either of them. She's just fine the way she is, thanks ever so, and she doesn't need some boy to come along to make her life complete.