A Very Trelawney Holiday

Christmas had come and gone, and New Year's Day was approaching rapidly, in the form of a few hours or so. The parties and good cheer in the Gryffindor Common Room did not cease, even when Professor McGonagall came in, in a huff and threatened that the next person who threw confetti at her would be expelled.

"Aw, lighten up," said George, handing Neville a Canary Cream, which he swore was an éclair. Neville sprouted beautiful feathers of azure and garnet and emerald, while everyone, except Hermione, had almost wet themselves with laughter.

Ron was holding onto the fireplace mantle to keep himself steady. "Too bad I can't get me some of that champagne."

Harry wrinkled his forehead, making his scar look like someone had faintly drew a red zigzag on his head. "I don't think you do, mate," he said quietly, "look at what it did to Seamus."

Seamus was jumping from armchair to armchair, with a crystal tiara on his head, screaming that he was King of the World. Hermione was off in the corner, pushing off George, who was swearing that the purple candy he was holding was a grape chewy.

"Do you think you'll have someone to kiss at midnight, Harry?" Ron asked, lifting a glass that someone had left behind, and feeling dismayed that it was empty, save a few drops of alcohol.

Harry grunted. "Dunno, can't make that prediction. I might be so plastered I may kiss the Fat Lady."

Ron laughed at the thought. "Talk about predictions. If get my hands on a bottle of champagne, I might make out with Trelawney."

The Boy-Who-Lived made retching noises.

"Oy! Look everyone! Neville's molting!" Dean shouted. Sure enough, brilliant feathers were suddenly on all the portraits in the common room, the chairs, some in empty champagne glasses. Hermione was busy picking golden feathers off of her Ancient Runes book.

Ron sulked. "This sucks," he said, kicking the air. "I want to get drunk." Seamus had collapsed by the fireplace, the ends of his hair inches away from the flame. Harry pulled the Irish boy away from it, though Seamus On Fire would be a great New Years memory.

Just then, a blur of orange and brown, carrying another blur of orange, sped out of the Common Room. "Oh no!" Ron screamed. "CROOKSHANKS, GIVE ME BACK MY CHUDLEY CANNONS HAT!" He ran after the cat, knocking over glasses, stepping on Seamus, and right past the very drunk Fat Lady.

The corridors were extremely dark, and Ron knew he was never going to find the damn cat in this. "Lumos," he muttered, and a silvery light emitted out of his wand. Instead of seeing the cat in the light, he saw a woman of average height and build, who smelled strongly of perfume and had big, thick, smoldery glasses.

"Oh, P-Professor Trelawney," he stammered. "Sorry. Didn't see you there."

The Professor went to dismiss the boy with a wave of her hand, but was apparently so drunk that she lost her balance and fell into him. "My apologies, Winkle," she slurred. "Mind's not right tonight..."

Ron balanced the teacher back onto her feet. "Do you need help getting back to the North Tower?" He wondered why the hell he was being so nice to someone who had always predicted his friend's death.

"No, no, Winkle, I'm fine." No sooner had she said the words, however, she slipped again and grabbed Ron's hand to steady herself. "Gee, I don't feel good." she rubbed her head. "Must be a flu or something..."

He snorted. "Yes, Professor Trelawney."

"Oh, call me Sybill!"

Ron blinked a couple of times. "No, that's alright, Professor. I think I'll be getting back to the Common Room--"

A loud chime from somewhere within the castle interrupted him. "Oh, my," she squealed. "It's midnight, it's midnight!" She looked into her student's eyes. "Kiss me," she mumbled.

"What? Professor, I--" The teacher slammed her cool lips against Ron's and wrapped her arms around his neck. Ron kept his eyes wide open, his arms flaying wildly, as to push the teacher off.

When Trelawney decided that the kiss was satisfactory, she patted him on the head. "Happy New Year, boy," and then she staggered off in the other direction. Ron waited until she was out of sight, and then, forgetting his hat, he ran back into the Common Room.

"Hermione," he called over the roaring bustle of cheerful Gryffindors.

Hermione pushed her way through the crowd, looking red and sleepy. "Yes, Ron?"

"Happy New Year, and tell me how to drop Divination."

The End