The Pensieve of Bellatrix Black

Seventh Year: Training Day Aches and Pains

"Sweet Salazar, Black! What in Merlin's name was that?"

"You asked me to-"

"Stunning the bollocks out of a giant spider won't get you past this challenge course."

"However do I do it then, Great Annoying Master of Wisdom?"

Bellatrix Black and Lucius Malfoy had been going at this for five hours. To say it was unenjoyable would be a painful understatement. If Bella had known she'd be giving up her weekends to sneak out of Hogwarts and do training with Malfoy she would have told Tom, well... she probably would have said yes anyways. This fact didn't make her shoulder hurt any less, however.

"If you had been a tad more mindful of your surroundings, Bellatrix, that hex wouldn't have ricocheted into your shoulder."

"Don't you patronize me. I hate to think what you did to make Tom assign you to training the new recruits," snapped the young woman, who was very near to the end of her patience.

"It's the 'Dark Lord' to you, Blacky. And I was picked for this because I am the best."

He's a right arrogant little shit, isn't he? She thought with some irritation.

"Now, for your insolence, you'll be cleaning out the weapon room, by hand, while I arrange the next obstacle course. You'd do best not to interrupt me again." His final words cut off Bella's retort at the knees, so she haughtily turned on her heels and stalked off to the weapons room, muttering under her breath.

"Well. She's certainly got enough Pure Blood arrogance for the job. I give her less than half the credit she's due, and yet she's the most consistent pupil we have."

"A product of her genetic diligence, no doubt. For her to be most useful, we need to push her." With that, the Dark Lord exited with a pop to who knows where. That's probably closest to a compliment I will ever get from that man Lucius dared to think. With a sigh, he pulled out his wand. With a swish and a scowling glance at the model spider, the course was changed to a desert scene.

***

Narcissa Black leapt about three feet out of her chair when a figure clothed in black tattered clothes, blood and sand swung into her dormitory through the window. As the figure straightened up, Narcissa's eyes widened.

"When you asked me to cover for you and say that you were in Hogsmeade all afternoon, dear sister, I thought you were on a date! Clearly, the man's a real brute, or you were in a serious spot of trouble."

"Keep it down, will you Nars? My- er, walk was just a bit... more eventful than expected." With that, Bella walked over to her trunk in search of much cleaner clothes.

"So, where were you 'walking' when you were attacked by the Devil's Snare attached to your boots?"

Bella was too utterly exhausted to do anything but sit heavily onto her bed and pull off the boots in question.

"You know you can tell me anything, right? I wouldn't betray the only sister I have worth mentioning."

"I know, Cissy. It's just hard. I really can't tell you because it's not my place to decide. I can take care of myself, though. I'm learning. Soon I'll be able to take care of more than just myself."

"Well... if you ever need someone to lend you clothes that aren't ripped or blood-soaked, you know who to owl."

"Thanks. You're also pretty decent at mending spells. Here ya go," she said, as she tossed a black shirt over to her sister.

"Oh Bella. Whatever are we going to do with you?"

With a grin, Bella stood up and walked to the bathroom. All the dried blood on her left cheek was beginning to itch.

As she watched her sister limp over to the washroom, Narcissa glanced down at the letter on her desk. Perhaps a few kind words from Severus would distract her from all her worrisome thoughts.

What the bloody hell was I thinking? was just about the only coherent thought Bellatrix could compile. Her shoulder felt as if her entire school trunk of books had fallen on it, and although sealed, the wound on her cheek left a very dark and tender bruise. Vanishing the bloody towel, she placed her hands on the counter, leaned into it, sighed and glanced up at the mirror. The past few months were taking their toll on the young woman. She had been skiving off any sleep she could afford to spend long hours in the library reading up on hexes and commonly harmful potions. Her weekends were spent getting the tar ripped out of her by Malfoy at "Death Eater Training Camp" and spare time was spent jogging and cross-training in abandoned classrooms. She had tried to uphold an illusion of normalcy. She made an effort to remain sociable, knowing it would help to have contacts in the long run. She only skipped meals and classes if she knew she was bleeding, looked like utter shit or would pass out half way through. Unfortunately, these classes had become progressively more frequent. Although she didn't favor lying to Narcissa, it was better this way. If anyone found out, Narcissa would be guilt free because she didn't know anything.

Every aspect of life had become difficult for Bella. The Daily Prophet was publishing articles demeaning the now-nonexistent group, Knights of Walpurgis, and what they called "Pure-Blood mania", including quips pertaining to Tom's "mental instabilities" in almost every article. The Wizarding World was in turmoil and the Ministry was taking the wrong side. Of course anyone who cared would be going a little crazy! The part that wrenched at Bella's insides was how Tom had been treating her. She barely saw him. When she did, he was distant, informal and commanding. Where was the gentle and caring man that she had seen on the balcony at the Yule Ball? Where was the passion that he had shown her that night? Bellatrix felt truly lost. She couldn't decipher who she was supposed to trust. There were accounts every where that the Imperious curse was being used, and random murders were almost expected daily. The only person Bellatrix wanted to trust and count on was Tom. This made things difficult since it seemed he was avoiding her. Rodolphus had been asking for her every time she went home, and owling her constantly. She wanted to tell him she wasn't interested, but she didn't want to seem like a silly love-struck school girl. Everything was so confusing. Why was Tom rejecting her? Didn't he respect her? Didn't he understand she would do anything for him? What was she supposed to do to prove it? With all her frustration coursing through her body, she suddenly struck her fist straight into the mirror, trying to expel her worries in the sharp sound as the shards spread like fire through the image of her face in the mirror. Perhaps it was the pain from the shattered glass in her knuckles, or just her emotions finally finding a release, but Bellatrix started sobbing. With her breath short, and her face soaking, she sunk down to the floor to wallow in confusion and loneliness.

***

Narcissa was spinning the envelope on the table with her left index finger as she read the letter that had been in it. Severus always had such a distracting effect on her. He seemed to understand her fully. His usually snide and sardonic remarks were comforting to her. She impatiently awaited his responses to her every letter. No man had ever had an effect on her like this before. It felt refreshing. It felt exhilarating. Any time she passed him in the halls, her stomach would clench up at the twinkle in his eye. Anger seethed through her anytime she heard those horrible Gryffindors talking down to him. She had landed herself into an uncharacteristic amount of detentions because of all the hexing she had been doing in the corridors. None of this mattered, however, because Narcissa truly believed she had fallen in love. Although it made her feel good, she was a little worried to tell anyone else. What would they think of her if they knew she had fallen for a younger half-blood boy? Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud crash like shattered glass from the washroom. Setting down the precious letter, Narcissa scurried over to see if her sister was alright. With a shaky hand, she reached for the doorknob and pulled it toward her. What she saw almost broke her heart. Her older sister lay on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably as if her entire life were misery. The need to comfort and extend some care overtook Narcissa. She dropped down to kneel beside her sister, resting her hand on her head.

"Shit Nars. Don't look at me now. I can't believe this. Why does my love life have to be so confusing?" came her sister's mumbled and sobby reply.

This statement stunned her sister. Love? What is she talking about?

"Did something happen with Rodolphus?"

"Heh- no. I wish he'd leave me alone."

"Then who in Merlin's name are you talking about?"

Bella mumbled something completely incomprehensible, so Narcissa nudged her sister's shoulder to encourage her to speak up. This only induced a sharp, painful breath and a softly muttered "oh- sorry". A few more minutes passed, marked by softening sobs, and finally Bella spoke.

"It's Tom."

"Tom? Tom Riddle? You have got to be joking. He's- he's a bad one. I mean, sure, I can see where he's coming from, but I think it's all gone a little too far. You probably shouldn't talk with him anymore."

"It's a little too late for that."

"What do you mean? Wait- no. You haven't, you know...."

Bella snorted ironically. Since she was still crying a little, it came out kind of like she was choking.

"No. We haven't done anything. That's the problem! I mean... Did you know I was with him at the Yule Ball? He was just so... towards me. I can't explain it."

"Is that where you were? Off snogging Tom Riddle, leaving me to have to deal with Malfoy hitting on me for hours??!"

"Malfoy was hitting on you? Ew. Do you know how much older than you he is? He's way older than me. Besides, he's a complete git."

"He's not a git. He's not too old and don't you go changing the bloody subject, Trix!"

"What do you want me to say? I can tell you honestly that we didn't snog. There was no snogging. He even tried to deny the fact that he was propositioning me. Honestly! Did he think I couldn't tell?"

"You really like him, don't you? Now it's my turn to say 'Ew'."

"Thanks a lot Cissy."

"Look, maybe you should just forget about him. It's not like you see him that often, and I think Rodolphus and you will make a pretty good match."

"Fine. I'll abandon my romantic feelings for him if you tell me who you've been walking on air about." Too bad Bellatrix had no intention of following through with that promise. She'd never give up on Tom. There might be a way to win him back.

"I haven't been-"

"Ahem. Those letters I always see you quickly stash away when I enter the room? The sudden blushes when we're walking down the hallway? The fact that you've started singing in the shower? Fess up little sis!"

"Damn you Bella. Can't a girl have any secrets?" This just made Bella feel a bit guilty. She'd been lying to her sister for months about more important things than school fancies. Maybe it was time to lighten up a little.

"Alright don't tell me. I'll just have to start checking around to see who your secret admirer is. It isn't...... that Hufflepuff thief- Mundungus Fletcher is it?"

That snide comment was followed by a furious blush on Narcissa's face and a wet towel thrown right into Bella's. Soon it was all falling all over each other trying to get close enough to a bed to take pillows to serve as some better weaponry. When their dorm mate Camilla Bulstrode walked in, she was unfortunate enough to be greeted by the sight of a room that was showered in feathers, overturned lamps and chairs, unhung bed hangings and two very exhausted sisters lying on the floor laughing.

"This is exactly why it was a bad idea for Narcissa to sneak into the same year as you after fourth, Bella," she replied as she stepped over a few depleted pillows to the other side of the room.

"You're just saying that because your brother almost did the same thing!"

"And it was clearly wise to stop him from doing so. However, that matter's somewhat null since we wouldn't have had to share a dormitory like you lot. I shudder to think what your rooms at home must get like."

"It's never like anything we can't swish and flick back into place quickly," replied Bella as she got up and went to the washroom. She wanted to make sure there wasn't blood all over it still when Camilla might use it.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you! Lucius Malfoy is waiting for you in the Great Hall." With that, Camilla picked up her school bags and went back down to the common room. Narcissa was beet red.

"What the bloody hell am I going to do now? I can't believe he's come all the way here just to pester me about how much of a wonderful woman I'm growing up to be and how much he needs a wife. How tactless can you get?"

"Well, he does have a lot of impressive attributes. He's got a lot of money, and from what I hear some of our friends saying, he's got really nice-"

"Oh shut up. I can't believe you're condoning this."

"Well, he's also a very good duelist, Cissy. He'll be able to protect you, and make sure you're safe. Our world is getting more dangerous by the day. Take what you can get."

"So I'm just supposed to drop everyone else so I can marry Malfoy for his money and protection? I mean, yeah they're factors, but..."

"There's nothing else you like about him?"

"It's more the fact that someone else is in the way."

"Ah. Right. The elusive letter-writing admirer. Well, just keep your options open. That's all I'll say about it. You're my sister and I just want you to be happy and survive till you're twenty."

"Thanks. Well, I shan't keep a wealthy man with really nice- whatever waiting, now can I?" With a short wave, and a quick glance in her mirror, Narcissa walked down the staircase.

After a whole afternoon of making Bellatrix do every skill course imaginable, she wondered what Malfoy had in mind for Narcissa. He would be safe for her, but if he was as high up in the ranks with Tom as she thought he was- Bellatrix didn't want her sister to have to wait every night to see if her loved one would come back alive or not. However, with Malfoy, he'd ensure Narcissa's safety long past his lifetime. With a million thoughts running through her head, Bellatrix gave in to the exhaustion that had been tugging at her since she had gotten back to Hogwarts. With a fleeting glance at the doorway, she blew her lamp out and collapsed into her bed. Professor Vector would just have to deal without her for Arithmancy class the following morning. Bellatrix had better things to do, like make sure she'd be able to walk the next day, let alone concentrate on lessons.