Draco's Draught

All's Well That Ends Badly

At dinner that night, it felt almost as though the "incident," as I now referred to the potions accident to myself, had never happened. I was surrounded once more by fawning Slytherins trying desperately to get my attention, to get a snippet of the protection I could provide if I so wished. Pansy, upon seeing me sitting once more in my accustomed place, had returned to her own usual, simpering self. God, how she nauseated me. I turned away from her to see the Gryffindor trio enter the hall. My heart stopped, and I had to look away. But not before I saw the scowls on all three faces as they glared in my direction.

Harry was surrounded by love and friends. He would be okay. I had to keep telling myself that. And I would be just fine...once I got used to all my followers once more. If only I could tell Pansy to just shut up. If only I could find some peace. If only...

The food that night tasted of dust and wet cardboard. I drank twice as much juice as usual, wishing fervently that it were even slightly alcoholic, so that I could just forget. Finally, the meal was over, but the torture was not, as I still had to sedately make my way to the Slytherin common room before I could relax. And I doubted that even then, I would truly be able to relax. Would I ever be able to do so again?

I didn't even make it to the door before Granger accosted me. "You evil, spiteful..." she growled at me, and I backed off. The last time I had seen her this angry, I had received quite a slap. I wasn't willing to receive another. Her lip curled. "That's right, Malfoy. Run away. That's what you're good at, isn't it?"

I wouldn't respond, I told myself.

She took another step towards me. "One day, Malfoy, you will realize what you've given up. And on that day, I hope all your 'friends' and all your money comfort you." Then she spun on her heel, grabbed the arms of her two friends, who stood just beyond the small crowd that had gathered around us, and they left the hall together. Harry had avoided my eyes the entire time.

I took a deep breath, then proceeded out of the room as though the episode had not happened.

Back in the common room, more students came to tell me how glad they were to see me again. As though I had simply been on a long vacation. I put up with them for as long as I could, then I motioned to Crabbe and Goyle, and they followed me to our room, standing outside to guard the room when I motioned them to stay.

Inside my room, I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was still long. Definitely time to do something about that. I pulled out my wand and cast the spell to trim my hair back to its former length. Better. I could almost pretend things were back to normal.

I walked over to my bed and collapsed on it. Serica peeked out of her basket, and crawled over to the bed so that I could pick her up. She crawled up my arm, and settled across my shoulders. For the first time all evening, feeling the weight of her on my shoulders, I felt almost calm. Then green eyes and a broad, shy smile appeared in my mind. I groaned. I had to forget. It was over, and I had to be glad about it. Because if I wasn't, then the mudblood was right. I would suffer. And for the rest of my life.

I vowed to forget him, then got ready for bed. I fell asleep almost instantly.

The morning after my re-establishment in my house, my father's owl appeared at breakfast with a letter for me.

Draco,

I was pleased to hear from Severus that he was finally able to help you with your "situation." I hope to hear that you have fully regained your place by the time that classes have started. I also hope that you will choose your companions more properly from now on. It would not do for a Malfoy to be seen with a half-blood, after all. Slytherin house should be able to provide you with anything you need.

Your father,

Lucius Malfoy

I snorted to myself. What he meant was that if I needed something that wasn't within grasp of a Slytherin, it wasn't worth wanting. I crumpled the letter, and dumped it on an empty plate, then cast incendio on it. It was satisfying, but nothing quite filled that empty hole that had been there since I had awoken once more in the Hospital wing the day before.

For the rest of that week, I made a point of showing just how back to normal I was. I called insults to the Gryffindor trio when we passed each other, I reveled in my housemates' attentions, and I lorded over the underclassmen. I became my mask.

On New Year's Eve, to distract myself from thoughts of a certain Gryffindor and the promise I had wrung from him, I made sure to organize the biggest Slytherin party we had had in the entire time I had attended Hogwarts. Three months of allowance were spent on many packs of butterbeer, and an upperclassman was sent to retrieve several bottles of firewhiskey. The House elves outdid themselves, bringing us cakes and candy of so many varieties that no one person would be able to try every single one. Music was provided by an enchanted muggle toy that someone had brought in, something they called a CD player.

By eleven o'clock, most of the Slytherins had paired--or in some cases, tripled, I suppose--off. I had grabbed some fourth-year girl to the annoyance of Pansy, but I'd be damned if I'd allow her close to me ever again. Snogging with the fourth-year chit was fun, but at the same time, there was nothing to it. She was obviously inexperienced, and awed by the fact that I had chosen her over Pansy and the rest of the Slytherin girls. While this once would have been a heady mix for me, made me feel powerful, now it left me with a bad taste in my mouth.

Close to midnight, I made my excuses, and disappeared into my room. I took Serica from her basket, pulled the curtains around my bed closed, and sat there stroking her as I tried desperately to ignore the images that refused to stay from my mind. Harry. Harry laughing. Harry kissing me. Harry holding me. Harry...touching me. I still wanted him. But he was gone from my life, and I would just have to deal with it. It was, after all, my own choice that had caused his absence in my life. And really, wasn't he better off without me anyways?

And in only a few days, I would have to face him again when classes started once more. I would have to face the boy who had come to mean so much to me. But I wasn't the same person, and I had to protect him from the person I truly was. No matter what he had said before, there was no way we could be together. There were no happy endings for us.

I slept little that night, and when I woke in the morning, it was with tears in my eyes.

I spent the rest of the time before the new term started alone in my dorm, petting Serica and studying, only poking out my head to attend meals, which I finished as fast as possible, never looking in that direction. After lunch on Sunday, Harry's friends tried to corner me once again, but I managed to avoid them by sending Crabbe and Goyle in their direction and slipping out behind them.

The new term began in the worst way possible. After Transfiguration, I had Potions. And Snape, apparently wanting to test my new-found resolve, decided once more to team me with Harry.

The potion we were working on that day was not a new potion, but one we had learned in third year. Instead of brewing it, though, we were required to break down the components of the original potion to discover how to combine it with new ingredients to amplify the original effect.

Harry and I worked completely silently for the first half of the class, but when the time came to discuss what we should add to the original potion, we could no longer ignore each other. Avoiding Harry's eyes, I suggested he prepare the ingredients once I figured out the new components, and that I would add them as they needed to be added.

Apparently Harry wasn't so keen on that idea. "And just why should I do all the hard work, Malfoy?" he growled.

I had honestly thought he wouldn't mind doing things separately, but apparently I hadn't thought my idea through all the way. "Fine, Potter. What do you suggest?"

"I suggest you do your share of the work, or I'll make sure you suffer as much as I have been the last few days," he growled in a low voice.

I was so surprised that I forgot that I shouldn't be looking at him, and was horrified to see the pain in his eyes. But I couldn't allow it to sway me. "What do you know about pain, Potter? You've been surrounded by friends the past week. You're not the one who had to go back into that den of serpents," I hissed.

"You're the one who put yourself there." His arms were crossed now. "And Malfoy? You wouldn't know pain if you lived under the Cruciatus curse for the rest of your life, you pathetic excuse for a human."

By that point I was trembling. I didn't have to forget anymore. I was livid. How dare he. After all the things we'd talked about. He knew--about my father, about his favorite punishment when I hadn't met expectations. How could he think... I lost it at that point. The next thing I knew, we were on the floor, fists flying, and students egging us on.

Snape separated us quickly, and dismissed the class, waiting for the students to leave before turning on us. "Gentlemen," he said silkily. "I realize your...breakup...must be hard to deal with," he sneered. "But you will not work out your...differences...in my classroom, do you understand?

We both nodded.

"Good. You will both be serving detention here tonight. I expect to see you here at eight on the dot." He looked at us both. "Well, go on. Get out of my sight, before I change my mind and make it two nights!" We hurried from the room, avoiding each other's eyes, and upon reaching the hallway, headed as swiftly as we could in opposite directions.