Draco's Draught

Feelings

I managed to avoid dinner, and spent my time on my homework in my new room. But that meant that I was done before eight, with nothing to occupy me for hours. I had to get away from them all. Crabbe and Goyle had gone from my protectors to antagonists overnight because of all this, Pansy was being even more catty than usual, and Zabini...every time he looked at me, the leer would appear. And now for more than one reason. As it was, I was going to have to block my door every night to make sure he couldn't get in. But for now, I just had to get out of here. Even if it meant staying out until after midnight.

I steeled myself. I was a Malfoy. I could do this. They didn't matter. But when I opened my door, I knew it was a lie. They did matter. And they were all enjoying my pain. Very much. I did my best to keep my breathing even as I crossed the common room, not meeting any eyes, but looking straight ahead. I could feel Crabbe, Goyle and Zabini's eyes follow me, and Pansy's laughing remarks about the "Virgin of Slytherin" could be heard from where she sat on her favorite couch by the fire. Damn Hagrid, anyway. It felt as though the door were still miles away. I could do this. It wouldn't kill me. But I was beginning to doubt even that. Still, I managed to keep my breathing steady, and my footsteps even. Just a few more. Then I was at the door, and out. God, how I wished I didn't have to ever go back.

The hallway outside was empty. No surprise, as all the Slytherins had gathered to see my reaction. At least that meant I had made a clean escape. Now if I could just avoid all the other houses. There had to be someplace I could just go and hide out. I wandered the halls for a while, not going anywhere specific. It was still early, so I was still allowed to be out here, but when I bumped into McGonagall, I couldn't very well tell her that I just wanted to get away from my housemates, so I retreated from her heading in the direction of the Slytherin common room until I turned the first corner, then hid there until I heard her walk away. Time to find someplace to hide out until much later.

I headed back along the corridor and up the nearest staircase, which eventually led me to the astronomy tower. I found myself smiling. Yeah, I'd been up there a few times with girls, but never anything serious. But at least it would be a good place to get away from the teachers. As I headed up the stairs, I could swear I heard footsteps once or twice, but when I turned, there was no one behind me, so I continued to ascend. At the top of the tower, I was relieved to see that all the lovers were gone for the night, and sat down at a window, looking out at the grounds.

How could this happen to me? I'd lost complete control. If I ever got back to normal, Goyle was going to pay. Painfully. Unfortunately, it didn't look as if that would happen any time soon. It had now been more than twenty-four hours, so I had to assume that I would probably be stuck this way for quite a while. I'm sure Dumbledore was enjoying my disgrace.

As I stared out at the grounds, I couldn't help wondering how it was that I'd been the unlucky recipient of Goyle's bumbling. Guess that taught me not to be nice. And my father...well, I really didn't want to go there. He'd probably given my housemates carte blanche to do whatever they wanted to me. And with no fear of reprisal...My thoughts scattered when I heard another shuffling step behind me.

I turned and scanned the room. Still no one. Then what had I heard? I pulled out my wand and muttered a proximity spell. There was someone...thing? Standing right in front of me. Why couldn't I see it then? Maybe it was a ghost? I reached out and met something very solid. Not a ghost, then. Well, whoever it was wasn't going to get away with this. There was cloth under my fingertips, so I pulled, and revealed...Potter. Great. My biggest enemy has an invisibility cloak.

"What the bloody hell do you want, Potter?"

He looked at me for a long moment before he finally spoke. "I...just wanted to make sure you were okay." I raised an eyebrow at this.

"I'm fine, Potter." I continued to look at him, and realized he was blushing. What was up with that? Wait a minute...those footsteps I'd heard earlier..."Potter, how long were you following me?"

He refused to look me in the eyes, and muttered something about common room and hall.

"What?"

He glared up at me, straightened his shoulders, and said quietly "I was waiting for you to come out of your common room. I wanted to talk with you."

"You've been following me the entire time?"

The look in Potter's eyes was one I'd never seen before. Behind the clear emerald, I could see...fire? I backed up, but he grabbed my arm. "Let go!" I twisted out of his grip, then realized I had nearly toppled out of the window,

He backed up. "Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I just didn't want you to fall. Look..."

"No, Potter, you look." I jumped off the ledge and moved to the door. First Zabini, now Potter...Unicorns may be useful, but I'd be damned if I ever got near one again. "I have a feeling I know where this is going. And I don't want to go there. Just stay away from me, okay?" I turned to leave, but I wasn't quite fast enough. He grabbed my arm.

"Draco, stop." I turned to him, my eyes wide. Draco? Why the hell does he keep calling me that? He flushed at my stare, but continued. "I realize you're not exactly happy about all this, but I can't help thinking that..."

That was it... "That what, Potter? That we could be friends? That I could fall madly in love with you and be your girlfriend? That you could save me? I don't think so." I pulled my arm from his grasp. "I may be a girl at the moment, but I'm still a Slytherin, I'm still a Malfoy, and I still can't stand you. Leave me alone!" Not my best speech ever, but it would have worked, except that suddenly he had grabbed me again, this time by the shoulders, and suddenly we were kissing. Not just him kissing me, but real, honest-to-god kissing, his lips warm and soft against mine, and when I gasped from the shock, his tongue began to caress mine. My eyes fell closed, and I found myself hanging onto him as though my life depended on it, responding to it all.

I don't know how long we stood there kissing, but when we parted, conscious thought returned. My eyes snapped open. I looked at him, horrified. Had I just kissed Potter? He was looking at me, and those emerald eyes still hid that fire behind them, but he looked startled, too. He took a step back, and I saw him flush. "Damn. I'm sorry, Draco..."

But I couldn't listen to any more. "Just...just stay away from me, Potter!" I backed up, then turned and fled down the tower steps. I ran for quite a while before I was able to calm myself. I was flustered, and furious with myself for allowing that. What was wrong with me, anyway?

I looked up and discovered that I was in the hallway that led to the prefect's bathroom. Maybe a dip in the prefect's tub would calm me. I approached the statue in front of the room and gave the password, then proceeded to undress. I turned on my favorite tap, then sank into the warm suds.

No matter what the rumors about me, I had never, until that very night, kissed another boy. I didn't matter that I was now a girl, with all the girl-parts. In my head, I was still a boy. And I would be again, once this potion wore off. Whenever that was. But now I found myself recalling that kiss. I'd never felt anything quite like it. After all, when I'd kissed before, it had been messy, or boring, not like I could live off tasting him on my lips... And, boy or girl, I began to realize that I wanted to feel it again. But why? And why the bloody hell did it have to be Potter?

What the hell was wrong with everyone, anyway? I was still Draco Malfoy. It's not like a potion could change that. But for some reason, my having breasts seemed to make everyone think it was Draco Malfoy season. All I could do was hope that this went away fast, with no major after effects. Like a boyfriend. Father would really not appreciate that.

After soaking for over an hour, I figured I might as well try to get back to the Slytherin dorms. It was nearly midnight. Hopefully everyone would have gotten bored enough waiting for me to come back that they would have gone back to their own rooms. Or at the very least, fallen asleep. No luck. When I returned, the room was still almost completely full.

"Out snogging your new boyfriend, Drakie?" Pansy called out when I entered. All the heads in the room turned to look at me. I shot her a venomous look. "No, Panse, I was too busy trying to find your lost chastity." Several chuckles floated from around the room.

Pansy leapt to her feet. "Now look here, you little snot. I was nice enough to be your girlfriend, because our fathers are so close, but that doesn't give you the right to spread rumors about me."

"Rumors, Panse? I don't think I'm the one spreading them. Or anything else. Though I do seem to recall hearing one about someone else who seemed to enjoy spreading something else. Was it...legs?" I should have known she would slap me, but at the time, I was feeling so good about finally getting back some of my own, that the stinging contact astonished me. Now the whole room was laughing. Unfortunately, it wasn't at the comment I had made. This wasn't good.

Zabini strode over. "Now, Pansy," he drawled, putting his arm around my shoulders. "You know that Draco's just worried about having less admirers than you." I shrugged off his arm, and moved away as quick as I could without seeming to run.

"Gee, Zabini, thanks," I said as I glared at him, my eyes narrowed. "But I think I can defend myself." I stepped around Pansy and continued on to my room as though we had just been having a conversation about homework.

But she wasn't done. "Where do you think you're going, Draco? We're not finished here."

I put on my best smirk, and turned to face her. "Oh, but we are, Pansy. Completely. In fact, if I never see you again, it'll still be far too soon." I turned, and walked calmly to my room, whispered the password, then slipped into the room, closing the door quietly behind me.

I leaned against it for several minutes while I tried to calm myself. I didn't know how I was going to get through this. I undressed and went to bed, but it was a very long time before sleep came.