By the Light of the Moon

Her marriage was not nearly as unpleasant as she expected it to be. Certainly, Narcissa had to deal with the occasional night when Lucius was feeling amorous, but those came only a few times a week at most. Some weeks he came even fewer times. They slept in separate rooms, and he only entered hers on those evenings. She began to believe that Lucius had a woman--or several of them--on the side.

When she had been younger, Narcissa had always thought that she would leave any man who cheated on her in an instant. That had been before she married Lucius Malfoy. She had begun to hope that he would be unfaithful, so that his sexual appetite would be satisfied by somebody besides her.

Narcissa was amazed by how helpful Bella's book had been to her. She had found a way to charm herself from any disgusting diseases that Lucius might have received from any of those harlots he enjoyed being with (and she began using it faithfully). She had also seen a potion that could prevent a man from having sexual urges for at least a day, but hadn't gotten up the nerve to brew it yet.

The thing about her marriage the relieved her most was that Lucius was almost never home. Narcissa had set up a potions lab for herself in the Malfoy Manor basement. Lucius had protested at first, telling her to spend her time doing more seemly activities, but she explained that it was absolutely necessary for her to make her own beauty potions in order to keep her good complexion and perfect hair. He was actually stupid enough to believe her.

She knew that he had no real job and at first had been uncertain what exactly he did all the time. About a month after the wedding, she went into his rooms out of sheer curiosity. It was the first time she had ever entered his chambers. Narcissa walked in tentatively, knowing that she should not be snooping. However, she reasoned, it was her husband and she had a right to know. She began opening cupboards and drawers, careful not to disturb anything. She needed a clue, anything that would give her an idea of what Lucius was doing. After searching for nearly an hour, she found it in one of his drawers. A black mask. Narcissa dropped it when she realized what it was. She had heard about masks of this type, that were worn by Death Eaters. Narcissa then realized with a sinking feeling how her husband passed his time.

She had read about Lord Voldemort's followers, the Death Eaters, in the Daily Prophet. Soon after her wedding, she looked in the newspaper to see which pictures they had put of her in the society pages, and had seen the headline--Marlene McKinnon and Family Brutally Killed by Death Eaters. She hadn't known McKinnon, only read that she was important in the Ministry. Narcissa had put the murders into the back of her mind... until now. Did Lucius have a hand in the McKinnon murders?

Near the end of August, the Death Eaters killed her last Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Edgar Bones, and several people in his family. That saddened Narcissa. During all of her years at Hogwarts, there had been a different Defense professor every year. He was the best out of the seven of them.

From the day she saw the headline about the death of Professor Bones, she checked the Daily Prophet religiously, worried about who would be killed next. What if somebody she knew was next? What if Remus or Sirius got the stupid Gryffindor idea to fight the Death Eaters? They were certainly no match for Unforgivable Curses.

Narcissa panicked at the idea that the only man she had ever loved and her childhood best friend would fight Voldemort if given the chance.
She wanted to do something about it... but what? It was almost certain that her husband was one of them, but she never knew what was happening with him. He was almost always gone between breakfast and supper every day and was usually only home in the evening a few days a week. Any of his absences could be Death Eater outings. So, there was nothing she could do. When she married Lucius, she thought that he was nothing more than an arrogant and foolish prat. Now she knew that he was much worse than that.

Oh, why had she not just run away with Remus? They had a chance to be happy, but had lost it because of her. There were ways to hide from her father, and the danger they would have been in was not nearly as bad as the danger that she was in now. She had saved Remus, but at what cost? He probably was not safe right now anyway. At least he would not be safe if he began to do what she expected him to.

He was the bravest person she knew, with strong principles. What would he do if forced to marry a follower of the most evil wizard in centuries? Not what she was doing (nothing), that was certain. Narcissa had always envied his courageousness, knowing that she was just the opposite. Everything scared her. When faced with a horrible situation, she would start crying (which was completely useless) whereas Remus would face it head on. She missed him.

**************

Four months after Remus finished at Hogwarts, he still had no paying job. His work with the Order of the Phoenix, however, was becoming more and more dangerous. Several Order members had been killed since summer.

Every night, he came home to his worried parents. He told them where he went everyday. One day, he was going with other Order members to attempt to capture several known supporters of Voldemort. Both parents had protested. But he assured them that he would be fine. Thankfully nobody was hurt. He and Moody, in addition to James, Lily, and an Auror named Kingsley Shacklebolt raided the home of three Death Eaters. They captured one of them but two had gotten away. He had a feeling that it wouldn't be his last time going against Death Eaters.

That evening, he arrived home to his crying mother.

"Mum! What is it? Why are you crying?" Had something horrible happened?

"You came home late tonight! This time I thought that we really had lost you, Remus," she said to him.

Remus was relieved that it was nothing else. He sighed and hugged her. She held onto him. Then his father joined them, putting his arms around both his wife and son.

"I know, Mother. It's a dangerous job, but what else can I do? After all that Professor Dumbledore has done for me, working with the Order is the least I can do in return."

"It seems that we cannot get away from the darkness in the world today. Ever since you were a child, Remus, it has always affected our family." His father looked at him, then his mother. "Ever since you were bitten..." He paused for a minute, deep in thought. "Clara, should we tell him now about what happened that day and how it came to be?"

His mother nodded. "He should know how his problems started. Remus, sit down." Confused, Remus complied. His father began talking.

"Remus, when you were only four years old, I was the head of the Werewolf Capture Unit in the Ministry. There was one werewolf in particular, Fenrir Greyback, who was worse than all others. He would bite children at a young age, and then take them away from their families." Remus felt his blood grow cold when he realized where the story was heading. His mother put her arms around him. "Yes, Remus, he was the werewolf who bit you," his father said. Remus began shaking. He had never known who... "We pursued Greyback for years, until I finally caught him. However, he escaped within a week and wanted revenge on me. On the evening of the full moon, he stationed himself outside of our house until the moon rose, and he transformed. Do you remember that night?" Remus shook his head. "I was out, and your mother was in the kitchen. You were alone in your room when that he attacked you. It was only by your mother's quickness that he did not kidnap you."

All these years, he had convinced himself that it was his own fault, that his carelessness was the cause of his lycanthropy. However, now there was nobody to blame except for Fenrir Greyback. He had fully intended to attack Remus that night, and was successful. Remus felt like his head was spinning.

"Since that day, I have been unable to forgive myself, Remus," his father said softly. "Greyback would not have come after you if it had not been for me."

"And if I had not left you alone, even for just a few minutes," his mother cried. "I was cleaning up and then I heard you scream. By the time I got there, he had already bitten you. I threw every curse that I could think of in his direction, but he escaped. He's still at large today." There was a long silence as all three Lupins reflected on it.

"Mum, Dad, it isn't your fault," Remus finally said to them. "It isn't anybody's fault except for Greyback. He was nothing but a horrible monster who harmed children! Please don't blame yourselves! You have been paying for the werewolf bite it ever since it occurred." His voice was bitter.

"That's true, Remus," his mother said. "Your father lost his job soon after that."

Edward Lupin looked down. "Since then, it has been a lot harder for me to earn enough to support this family. The Minister of Magic blamed me for the escape of Fenrir Greyback. Now I have one of the most dull desk jobs in the entire Ministry and can barely make enough to support this family."

"How many children has Greyback bitten?"

"Back when you were a child, approximately fifty. But since then... probably a hundred or more..."

"How can anybody be so cruel, so horrible? That's over a hundred young lives ruined--and more if you count their families."

"Yes, Remus. I have been trying for many years to figure out how anybody can be as heartless and evil as Greyback," his father said. At that moment, Remus realized how old he look, much older than his forty-five years.

"Don't worry, Dad. Someday Greyback will get what he deserves. Someday..."

"Remus, do not try to go after him," Clara Lupin said. "Fenrir Greyback is dangerous. Even your father and several others were no match for him."

"Don't worry, Mum," Remus said. "I won't do anything rash."

"Promise me, Remus, that you will not pursue Greyback." Her voice had desperation in it.

"I promise, Mother."

Remus hugged both of them, before he left the room. Remus wanted nothing more than to be alone at the moment to try to clear his mind.

Why was everything so unfair? He hadn't deserved the werewolf bite. His parents hadn't deserved what it had done to the family. He had never had any desire to kill anybody before, but he had a sudden wish for Greyback's death. And he wanted to be the one to cause it.

However, wanting revenge that much was dangerous. He had to put the idea out of his mind, otherwise it would keep growing until it consumed him. In addition, he had made that promise to his mother.

Right now the most important thing (even more than revenge) was for him to help his parents, who were working hard and worrying harder. He couldn't stop the worrying, but maybe he could help them cut down on their long hours of work. Remus needed a job that paid. Desperately. His parents could barely afford to feed themselves. It was unfair for him to freeload off of them any longer.

He decided that any job would suffice, so he began looking one day in Diagon Alley. The wizards and witches who worked at the shops were usually either people with special skills (like Madam Malkin, the seamstress or Ollivander, the wandmaker) and the ones who had been unable to receive any N.E.W.T.s, not people who--like him--passed all seven. But, it wasn't his place to be selective.

After being rejected at the Magical Menagerie, the stationary store, the apothecary, Flourish and Blotts, and even the secondhand robes shop, Remus was ready to give up. He walked out of the apothecary's, his last stop and leaned against a wall with a sigh. Things were definitely not going his way.

"What is the matter, my boy?" An elderly man with a raspy voice was peering at him. He was tall but hunched over, and wore robes that were even more threadbare and patched up than Remus's.

"Nothing," Remus said. He wasn't going to tell his problems to a complete stranger.

"It doesn't look like nothing. I've watched you walking back and forth between shops." Remus was ready to walk away. This man was weird. "Looking for work, are you?"

Remus shrugged.

"But they will not hire you," the old man continued, "because you are a Creature of the Dark. Am I wrong?"

Remus looked away from the man, not knowing what to say. Finally he asked, "Why do you think that?"

"I can sense it. You appear to be human, but I can feel it inside of you. It is not a quality that has evolved over time, but one that you received in only an instant." The crazy old man continued. "Based on your appearance, I know that you are either a vampire or werewolf, but can assume the latter because you are out in the daylight." His eyes twinkled. "I am correct; your silence confirms that." Remus opened his mouth to say something but the elderly man held his hand up. "Do not speak. I know the truth. But, perhaps I can help you. I know of a gentleman who is looking to hire somebody."

Remus was so desperate for a job that he stood up straight and looked at the man. "Who is it? And where?"

"Follow me," the man said. Remus obeyed.

"Why are you helping me?" Remus asked.

"I too, my dear boy, have faced the same treatment as you for the same reasons."

"You're also a werewolf?" The man didn't answer, just kept leading the way.

He hesitated when they reached the entrance to Knockturn Alley. "Come along, young man." Remus swallowed, placing his hand on his wand. They passed by peddlers who were selling everything from enchanted jewelry to something that looked like human body parts. "Here we are," the old man said as they stopped in front of a store that was only distinguished by the other stores by an old wooden sign that read Bahltrog's Books. When they walked into the store, Remus realized that it was very similar to Flourish and Blotts. The only difference was the books on display. The only one that he had ever heard of was Moste Potente Potions. The other books had titles like Dabbling in the Dark Arts and Sadistic Slytherins. Remus was fairly sure that most of the books in this store were not sold in Flourish and Blotts.

"Oi, Boris!" The old man yelled. A short, round man with large spectacles came around the corner.

"Good afternoon, Sigmund."

"Boris, I've found a boy willing to work for you," Sigmund said in his hoarse voice.

Boris squinted, sizing him up. "What is your name, young man?" he asked Remus.

"Remus. Remus Lupin."

"Well, Mr. Lupin, my name is Boris Bahltrog and this is my good friend Sigmund Parsons, who works at the apothecary shop next door. Tell me, did Sigmund tell you what this job entailed?"

"No," Remus responded, dreading what he would hear next.

Bahltrog chuckled. "I can see from your expression that you're worried about what I'm going to say right now, but don't be. I am looking for an assistant. I have many boxes of books that need to be sorted and shelved. In addition, my last worker was completely mad and she placed books wherever she saw fit, so the entire shop is unorganized. Those books need to be moved around. Also, I have another shop in Germany, so I often make trips there. I need somebody to run the store during my absences. But most of the job is just sorting through books. It's a rather boring job, but it pays well and gives you a chance to look for new books if you enjoy reading. Would you be interested in that?"

Remus hesitated. On one hand, this was a shop that dealt in mainly dark books... but he really needed a job, one that would not eliminate him during a background check. It wasn't as though working here would cause him to turn to the Dark. All he would be doing, after all, was organizing and shelving books. "Yes, I would."

"Very well. You can start tomorrow morning at eight o'clock."

"You're working where?" Sirius asked incredulously.

"It's called Bahltrog's Books and is in Knockturn Alley." Remus sighed. The two of them were sitting with Peter in a small café near the Ministry of Magic.

"And what type of books does it sell?"

"Dark books." Remus frowned.

"That's what I thought. Remus, are you out of your mind?"

"Imagine the type of people who go to a store like that!" Peter said.

"It may not be the most appropriate job for me, but Mr. Bahltrog is the only person who will hire me. I'd rather work there than not at all."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes, Sirius." Remus glared at him, something that he rarely did. "Neither of you understand what it's like to be a poor halfblood who can't get a job because he's a werewolf. My parents can barely afford to eat. It isn't fair for me to sit around the house all day when I can be working."

"You can't work at a place like that! What happened to your pride, Moony? You're a Gryffindor!"

"I'm a broke and desperate Gryffindor. It's the only solution."

Both of his friends looked at him skeptically.

"I'm not going to change my mind about it, no matter what either of you say," Remus said. "I refuse to spend any more time forcing my parents to pay for me. They've been struggling to raise me for years already. I'm an adult and need to take responsibility for myself."

"If that's what you want to do, Remus..."

"Yes," Remus responded. "I have to."

His first week at the job was much better than he expected. Mr. Bahltrog asked no questions of him and left him alone. Every morning, he would assign Remus a task or two and left him to it for the day. Remus learned quickly and was able to navigate the many sections of the bookstore without any problem. He started out moving books that had been wrongly shelved into their proper places--which took up a lot of time, and also opened boxes in the back of the store. It was necessary to perform a spell on each box of books to detect those that were potentially dangerous. Some books bit people, others spit out poisonous fluid, and a few attacked the reader the moment they were opened. The job was, as Bahltrog had warned, uninteresting because he rarely interacted with other people, but it was better than being unemployed. Much to Remus's surprise, he found several books that interested him: Living with Lycanthropy and Countercurses to Dark Magic. Perhaps this job would not be so bad after all...

Remus received his first paycheck the after two weeks on the job. He happily went to Gringotts to cash it and then stopped by the Leaky Cauldron to celebrate with a drink.

He took a seat at the bar and ordered a glass of red currant rum. The wizard at the stool next to him, who appeared to be about ten years older than Remus, turned in his direction. "Are you celebrating or lamenting?"

"Pardon?"

The man smiled. "The only people who come here at this time of the night other than the regulars are those who are either happy or sad about something."

Remus laughed. "I'm definitely celebrating. I just got my first paycheck today."

"Congratulations to you. Where are you working?"

"The bookstore," Remus told him vaguely.

"Oh, Flourish and Blotts?"

"Mmm." Remus didn't want to say where he was really working. Most of the good people in the Wizarding World stayed as far away from Knockturn Alley as possible.

"I work at Gringotts. It's a bloody boring job, but it's better than nothing."

Remus grinned. "I know exactly how you feel. I spend everyday shelving books."

The man next to him laughed. "I'm Ted Tonks, by the way." The name sounded very familiar.

"Remus Lupin." He sat for a second trying to figure out where he had heard the name Ted Tonks. Something Narcissa had said... "You're married to Andromeda Black, aren't you?"

"Why yes, I am. Do you know my wife?"

A lump formed in his throat as he shook his head. "Her sister. Narcissa talked about Andromeda often." It took him a moment to realize that he was revealing more than he wanted a relative stranger to know.

"Oh, so you're Remus! I knew I had heard that name somewhere!" Ted nearly spilled his drink from excitement and he began shaking Remus's hand eagerly. "I've heard all about you." Remus felt extremely awkward. He REALLY did not want to talk about his sad and short-lived relationship with Narcissa. It was hard enough not to think about her. "You're a friend of Sirius, too?" Remus nodded. "My wife stays in contact with him. I've heard all about the exploits of you and your friends at Hogwarts." Remus smiled, glad that the conversation hadn't taken an undesired turn.

"Oh, hell, I'm late again." Ted Tonks quickly downed the rest of his drink. "I'll let Andie know that I talked to you. I'm sure that she'd be very interested in meeting you. Come by again during the week. A lot of wizards come here after a dull day in Diagon Alley."

"Goodbye, it was nice meeting you," Remus said as Ted left. He smiled, thinking of how small the wizarding world was. Remus wondered how Narcissa was doing in her marriage.

The next few months passed quickly. Remus worked hard at his job, usually six days a week (except around the full moon). After two months on the job, he moved into the flat above the bookstore, which Mr. Bahltrog let for a very reasonable price. It was small, but still comfortable. Within a few weeks, it was like home.

Remus began devoting most of his free time to Order business. Remus encountered Death Eaters on several occasions, and even Voldemort once. His life became more and more dangerous as the weeks went by. Yet, he did not want to stop his work with the Order. It was the only thing left for him.

He only saw his three best friends a few times a month, usually at Order of the Phoenix meetings, and occasionally on the nights of the full moon. They disapproved of his job and were not shy about telling him so. However, Remus met with his new friend, Ted Tonks, in addition to several other wizards from Gringotts, once or twice every week for a drink after a long day at work. Thankfully, none of them was aware that he was lying about where he worked. It was refreshing to have friends who knew nothing about his lycanthropy.

Despite the instability of the wizarding world, Remus led a relatively normal and uninteresting life. That is, until the day Narcissa walked into the store.

Remus arrived early to work that Monday. Mondays were always the slowest day of the week, which usually meant that they would be lucky if there were more than three customers during the day. After spending the entire morning moving books that were improperly shelved (what kind of person would even think of putting Dark Wizards of the Dark Ages in the Herbology section anyway?), he heard a patron come in, the first of the day. Remus resumed taking wrongly filed books out of the top shelf of the Potions section.

"Ah, Mr. Malfoy, how lovely to see you," he heard Mr. Bahltrog say. Remus's heart skipped a beat. Lucius Malfoy had come into the store several times, and was one of Bahltrog's favorite customers. Remus hated him, and always tried to avoid seeing Malfoy. It wasn't hard; Malfoy ignored everybody he considered beneath him, except for those who had something to offer him.

"I'd like you to meet my wife, Narcissa," Malfoy said. Remus, who was perched on a ladder, nearly fell. What was she doing here? She had never come in before.

"I'm happy to finally meet you, Mrs. Malfoy. I've heard so much about you. What can I help you with today?"

"I'm looking for books about Potions," she said in a cold voice, one that sounded nothing like the voice she had used with him.

"Right through there," Bahltrog said. "And I have several new acquisitions for you in the back, Mr. Malfoy. If you'll just come with me."

Remus felt his face grow hot, knowing that she was coming in his direction. He was unsure why he did not want to see her here, but something just felt wrong about it. It had been about five months since he last saw her, the night before her wedding... Remus quickly stepped off the ladder, ready to leave the area. However, he was being so hasty that he did not notice the pile of books on the floor. Remus tripped, knocking over all of books that he had neatly stacked. Grabbing a shelf, he avoided falling. It was then that he heard her.

"Remus?" she said softly. He turned and saw her, staring at him in shock. His heart began pounding as all of the emotions he had been trying to suppress began to resurface. She looked as beautiful as ever. And as sad as she had since the last time they had seen each other.

He tried to act casual. "Narcissa, what are you doing here?"

"I'm shopping with Lucius." Her voice was shaky. "I should be asking you that question. Why are you here?"

"I'm working," he told her nonchalantly.

She moved closer, almost close enough to touch him. Remus took a step back. "Why are you working at a place like this? It's not like you." She kept moving closer.

Remus sighed. "It was the only place that would hire a werewolf. I've been working here for several months already." His voice was bitter.

"Ah, Remus," she said, putting her hand against his cheek. Her touch felt good, but he knew it was wrong. He pushed her hand away.

"Do you need help finding anything, Mrs. Malfoy? If not, I need to get back to work." His voice was cool.

She looked hurt. "Remus..." Her voice cracked.

"You're married," he said abruptly.

Tears welled up in her eyes, causing him to immediately regret his coldness. "I despise him."

"I apologize, Narcissa. It isn't easy for me to see you now. The past few months have been horrible for me."

"For me, too. I'm scared of Lucius," she said in a voice barely above a whisper. He suddenly realized how much harder their breakup was on her than it was on him.

Without thinking, he walked up to her and pulled her close to him. She sighed happily in his arms. "I've missed you."

Remus closed his eyes and breathed in her scent. It had not changed.

Then, she quickly pulled away. "Lucius might be finished soon." Remus just nodded.

"Remus... I don't suppose that there's any way we can, uh, meet sometime?" He looked at her in surprise. What was she suggesting? She continued. "Remus, neither of us is happy with the way things are right now. And if we don't do something about it, we'll both be miserable forever."

He didn't know what to say. Suddenly, the voices of Malfoy and Bahltrog were approaching them.

"Think about it, Remus. If you decide to, meet me the Leaky Cauldron again tonight at eight o'clock," she said quickly. He immediately knew that he would be unable to decline. She could ask him to fight a Hungarian Horntail with no wand and he would be hard pressed to say no. It scared him that she still had that power over him, even after being away from her for so many months.

"Narcissa, my dear, did you find what you were searching for?" Lucius called. Narcissa cringed, glanced at a few titles, and quickly grabbed a book. Remus pretended to be busy as Malfoy and Bahltrog came around the corner.

"Yes, Lucius." She was back to being aloof. "I am going to buy this book."

"Salazar's Potions, what an excellent choice, Mrs. Malfoy."

"Thank you, Mr. Bahltrog."

"Oh, I see that you met my assistant. I do not know what I would do without this young man; he's been reorganizing the entire shop section by section and has done such a wonderful job." Remus was stunned to hear the praise. Bahltrog had never said anything that nice to him before.

"I suppose so," Narcissa said nonchalantly. "Although the Potions section is a bit messy." She sneered. Bahltrog was dumbstruck.

The three of them began walking away. "Just a moment, I forgot my bag," he heard Narcissa say.

An annoyed Lucius Malfoy muttered something incomprehensible.

Narcissa walked back to where Remus was with a small grin on her face.

"The Potions section is a bit messy?" Remus said playfully. Narcissa laughed. He could hear Malfoy and Bahltrog talking in the distance.

He was happy to see her smile, hear her laugh. His heart pounded as he said his next words, when he realized what he was agreeing to. "Eight o'clock at the Leaky Cauldron, Narcissa?"

Her face turned red. She was speechless for a second, but then regained her composure. "I'll see you tonight."