Shattered Souls

Shattered Souls
by Eilan

Chapter One

"Some nights, although we are faithless, the truth
enters our hearts, that small, familiar pain;
then a man will stand stock-still, hearing his youth
in the distant atin chanting of a train."
'Prayer', by Carol Ann Duffy

Had she known what would come of it later, she would never have given her soul to him in the first place.

Their relationship had begun innocently enough when she was in her fifth year, he in his sixth.

He was the first person who respected her for what she was. Who talked to her despite the fact that she was the girl from Italy with a strong accent that wouldn't fade, even after years.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

He had found her lying upon the grass of the Quidditch pitch one Sunday evening in her fifth year, watching the stars.

"Hi."

She just nodded and he took that as a sign to sit down next to her.

They sat silently like that for a while, watching as the first stars began to appear in the sky. Students were actually not allowed outside at this time of day, but she had permission. Her teachers knew that she came from a family of astronomers and liked to watch the stars in the evenings, so she had the allowance to stay outside longer than the others. A fact that made some jealous of her, but honestly, she couldn't have cared less.

Her house mates often picked on her because she loved the stars. They said that they were boring, for they never changed. They didn't understand that this was what fascinated her.

"What are you doing out here?" she asked, still not looking at him.

"Watching the stars with you," came the blunt reply.

"I can see that," she retorted. "Why are you here? Shouldn't you be inside?"

She could feel, rather than see him, shrug. It was slowly getting darker and colder and in twenty minutes even she had to be inside if she didn't want to risk losing her privileges.

"I wanted to watch the stars with you. Is that such an alien concept?" His voice sounded harsh, but there was something else in there... something more sincere.

She thought about it for a moment, just to irritate him a bit. She didn't know Severus Snape very well, as he was one year ahead of her. Apart from the occasional chatter she had overheard in the common room, she didn't know what to make of him.

"Actually, yes it is."

"Well, it shouldn't be." She felt that he had shifted and was now facing her. Still, she continued to stare at the stars. Venus was clearly visible at that hour.

"Why?"

"Because not every Slytherin is tactless."

She couldn't help but laugh.

"You should tell my parents that. They'd probably be surprised to hear it." After a pause, she added, "Not that they'd be convinced of course." Her voice sounded bitter and she mentally chided herself for that. She shouldn't talk about her parents in such a way, especially not to someone she barely knew. Her parents were not to blame for the prejudices the wizarding world had against her house. And the prejudices she had against her house. In her first year, she had even asked the Headmaster for permission to be re-sorted. He had refused it, and after one year she had accepted her fate, even becoming proud of it, just to annoy her parents.

"Your parents don't approve of you being a Slytherin?" He sounded as though he couldn't believe it.

"Not really. They read Hogwarts: A History and wanted a proper Ravenclaw." Her curiosity got the better out of her and she just had to ask. "What about you?"

"Slytherin to the bone. Parents, grand-parents and so on."

"Oh. You must be proud to be in Slytherin then."

"Sort of. Just glad I'm not a Gryffindor." She chuckled. Severus, like every Slytherin, despised the Gryffindors. At first Maria had had difficulties with this rivalry, but now she accepted it.

"I have to admit, I didn't even know where I wanted to be placed. In Italy we don't have something like that - being sorted into houses."

"Might be easier that way. You know, no one would point at you saying you're evil just because you're in a certain house. After all," he lowered his voice a bit, "it's not our blue blood, our pedigree or our O.W.L.`s or N.E.W.T.`s that matter. It's what we do with our life that counts."

"I didn't know you had ever heard of Millard Fuller. " She remembered the quote from what a cousin of her`s had told her, back in her first year, when she thought she would break under the pressure that her family was inflicting on her for being sorted into the harassed house of Slytherin.

"Great. There I wanted to impress a girl with my poetic side, but you know that I was just quoting someone else. Damn."

"Oh, but I am impressed. After all you altered it."

He laughed. It was a genuine laugh, a laugh that she would treasure forever, the distant memory of which she would keep with her, the memory that would help her through all the nights spent in sorrow. A memory of the time when Severus Snape had been a caring, loving boy, able to laugh.

She missed that laugh.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

This night it would be different. She could feel it even before she heard the knock at the door.

Everything would be different from now on. He had been absent the whole day after the boy's tragic death. She knew where he had been, and she had been sure that he would come back changed.

And so he did.

The knock was reluctant and soft. If she hadn't been listening for it she wouldn't have heard it. Of course there was that voice in her head that told her he wouldn't come this night, that he would never come back.

Thankfully, it had been proven wrong.

She opened the door.

He looked even worse than normally. Eyes bloodshot, face bruised, lips split.

Crucio, she thought instantly. But he was alive. That had to be a good sign.

Wordlessly, he entered the room and sat down in front of the fireplace. Unusual even for him, but as always, she remained silent, just sitting down next to him.

After a while, he stopped starring into the fireplace and looked at her with those deep brown, nearly black eyes. She hated that look, it reminded her of a time long gone. A time when she hadn't been the only one in the relationship who had given more than taken.

Maria couldn't stand that look any more and began to shift in her seat, nervously looking away.

She wondered whether the students felt like this when he looked at them. If so, she could understand why they were frightened by him.

He stood up and went to the window, gazing outside. At that time of night, you could see nothing but the darkness from it. Still he continued to stare and she went over to him.

After a while, she did something she never would've dared to do before.

She put her arms around him.

Severus didn't back away as she would've expected him to do. Instead, he took her fingers in his. They were cold and had she been asked she would swear she could feel blood on them. Of course she knew it was impossible.

They stood like that for over a minute, until he finally loosened his grip on her hands and turned towards her.

His eyes didn't give away his feelings, yet they seemed to be a deeper shade than normal.

He bent down and kissed her lightly.

"Thank you."

At first she was too astonished to answer. He never said anything when he came to her. It was just something that didn't happen.

"For what?" she asked in a low voice, not looking into his eyes.

"For everything."

Not until he had nearly left the room was she able to reply. Her voice was still low and she never knew whether he had heard her.

"You're welcome."

He silently closed the door behind him.