Giving Him a Chance

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Giving Him a Chance

Chapter two

By duva

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I had officially deemed one of my best friends insane. There simply weren't any other explanations. Sadie Alexander was a lovely girl, but sometimes one wondered which dimension she lived in. She had sat down next to Potter as we were going about our Headly business and deemed them friends, seeing how Potter was now a friend of mine and therefore also a friend of hers. How she made those connections, I have no idea. I was thinking of taking her up to see Madam Pomfrey, but thankfully she took back her accusation before I actually had time to go through with that plan. Life was a lot duller without Sadie around.

To her defence, though, she did have some sort of a point. Ever since school had started, I had been spending more time with Potter, especially after our little trip to Hogsmeade, but we spent all that time working and nothing else. I had freaked out a little because I was worried that other people might get the idea that I liked Potter or something equally untrue, but it turned out almost everyone understood that we had to work together as Head students, thankfully. I wasn't after anything more than a working relationship with him.

Unfortunately, it didn't seem to be the same the other way around. Potter hadn't asked me out or anything again, but I caught him staring at me stupidly at least once every meeting, and not seldom at other times. It was very obvious, really, and I couldn't understand how he could think I wouldn't notice. Then again, maybe he just didn't care. His friends had certainly noticed; Sirius Black seemed to find it very amusing, while Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin seemed mostly embarrassed about it, and appeared to be trying to help Potter keep him under control.

I had to admit that Potter wasn't half the idiot he had once been. In fact, when I spent time with him, he seemed like a perfectly nice person - when he wasn't staring at me, that was. I found that rather unnerving. I couldn't help but to wonder what had happened to the old James Potter, and where this new, improved version had come from. I was even beginning to enjoy his company, something I never would have thought possible only a few months earlier. I had spent quite a lot of time thinking about it, but I couldn't seem to come up with an explanation for his change of character. It intrigued me, and I couldn't help but to be curious. I could hardly ask him about it, though, so when I spotted Sirius Black sitting in a secluded part of the common room, I took my chance. I knew Potter wasn't going to be there - I had asked him to do this week's work by himself, as I had an enormous essay for History of Magic to finish, and he would hardly be done by now. Sure enough, Sirius was on his own.

'Hello,' I said as I sat down across from him. He had been reading something, and looked up in surprise as I sat down.

'Lily Evans,' he smiled. 'What can I do for you?'

I shrugged. 'I just fancied a talk, actually. Do you mind?'

Sirius smiled. 'No, not at all. I know someone who might, though.'

I grinned back at him. 'Actually, he's what I wanted to talk to you about.' Sirius's eyebrows elevated.

'Really?' he said, a smug look on his face.

'Oh, don't be childish about it,' I said, rolling my eyes. 'I was just wondering what had happened to him.'

'Happened?' Sirius echoed, looking confused.

'Well, he used to be such a prat,' I explained. 'Recently, he's been almost nice.'

Sirius laughed then. 'He'll be very pleased when I tell him you said that, I'm sure.' I glared at him. 'All right, all right,' he said, throwing his hands up. 'What happened to James, eh?' I nodded. 'Well, it's very simple. He grew up,' Sirius said with a shrug.

'He grew up?' I echoed, disbelieving.

'Yep.'

'I see,' I said, still not sure he was being sincere. 'Is that all?'

'Well, I think he realised he wasn't going to succeed with impressing you,' Sirius said carelessly as he took out an apple from his bag and started eating it. 'So he stopped trying.'

'Why would Potter want to impress me?' I said, completely confused. The thought had never even crossed my mind before. Sirius, however, seemed to find this very funny.

'Merlin,' he snorted, almost choking on his apple. 'Why would James want to impress you?'

'That's what I would like to know,' I said, starting to feel rather annoyed.

'He fancies you, of course,' Sirius said as though it was common knowledge. 'A lot.'

Oh. So that was it. Well, I couldn't exactly say I didn't know that. I knew that James Potter wanted to go out with me; after all, he had asked me about a million times. I also knew that he thought I was "special", after his little explosion in the Great Hall the previous week. Still, I didn't know how serious he was about it.

'A lot?' I echoed, as I cursed myself. I really had to stop repeating what other people said.

Sirius's face sobered. 'Lily, the lad can't even breathe properly when you're around.' I stared at him, dumbstruck, when a voice behind me suddenly interrupted our little discussion.

'Hey, Evans,' the voice of James Potter said and my head flew up. He handed me a book. 'All done.'

'Thanks, Potter,' I said, feeling unnerved. 'I hope it didn't take too long?'

'Nah, it was fine,' he shrugged. 'The library was pretty empty, so I got to do it in peace and quiet.'

'So there's where you've been all this time?' Sirius said from across the table. 'The library? We were looking for you.' Potter slowly turned around, giving me a glance of his furious expression.

*

During the next few days, I got the feeling that Potter was trying to ignore me. I also got the feeling that he was rather upset with his best friend, as he seemed to be avoiding him, and they were usually as good as attached to the hip. It made me think quite a lot, about what Sirius had said in the common room.

He can't even breathe properly when you're around.

Considering who it was that had told me, I wasn't too sure that information was completely trustworthy, but Sirius had looked very honest when he had said it. If it was true - what did that mean?

I wasn't completely inexperienced when it came to romance. I had dated boys. I had had crushes; I'd even say that I had been in love once or twice. But I had never felt like I couldn't breathe when I was around any of them.

It didn't make any sense, though. James Potter and I had never spent any time together before this year; why on earth would he feel that way about me? It was rather flattering, in an odd, twisted way. Also, if he felt that way about me, it would partly explain his behaviour around me. I had spent a lot of time considering all of this, and I had come to a conclusion.

I needed to be nicer to Potter. After all, he had turned out to be a decent human being. I knew he was smart, he had a good sense of humour, and he seemed like a really good friend. If he really liked me that much, the least I could do was to be civil to him. He wasn't all that bad; I quite enjoyed talking to him. I'd given him a chance once, and he hadn't disappointed me. I might as well do it again. I had told Sadie about this, and she had been absolutely thrilled.

'I bet you'll end up together before you leave school,' she had squealed. I had snorted in response.

'I said I was going to give him a chance, Sades. Don't hope for a miracle.'

*

I was sitting at our usual table in the common room, on my usual armchair, working, when James Potter sat down on the sofa opposite the table. 'Hi,' he said.

'Hi,' I said, surprised. 'I didn't think you would show up.'

'Why wouldn't I?' he asked, in a rather obvious fake ignorant tone.

'I've felt as though you've been avoiding me lately,' I replied, looking curiously at him.

'Me? Avoiding you? Why would I do such a thing?' he said. I would've believed him if it hadn't been for the tint of red that crept up his cheeks. I tried to hide a grin.

'No, no, of course not,' I said, concentrating hard on not laughing. I proceeded to tell him about what we had to do today, which mostly had to do with the Hallowe'en feast. He seemed very thrilled when I told him that we would have to go down to the kitchens to inform the house elves about which dish we had chosen for Hallowe'en dinner, even though I was sure he had been down there a million times already. We worked in silence for a while. I used this time to steal glances at him, contemplating what he was thinking. He really wasn't all that bad to look at. Sure, his hair looked like a crow's nest, but when you thought about it, it was actually rather... cute. His nose was a bit long, and his skin was very pale in contrast to his hair, but he had a nice mouth, long, thick eyelashes, and really nice hands. He looked up at me just as I was contemplating this, and I looked down quickly, a bit embarrassed. I didn't look up at him again, choosing instead to concentrate intently on my work, answering his occasional questions without tearing my glance from the paper. We finished at almost the exact same time, and started making our way towards Dumbledore's office to hand him our reports.

*

The walk to Dumbledore's office had been rather uncomfortable, as neither of us said anything. You could probably have cut the tension with a knife, I thought and smiled a little. Dumbledore had been his usual, eccentric self - I was starting to suspect that he was loony more and more every day. Brilliant, of course, but completely mad. After giving him our weekly report, Potter had led me towards the kitchens, a way he obviously knew very well. The house elves had seemed rather thrilled about our visit - their squeaky voices had almost made my ears ring when we had told them we wanted a pumpkin salad for starters, roast beef and potato salad for the main course and pumpkin ice cream for pudding. We had then gone back to Dumbledore's office, which was ridiculously far from our common room, to let Dumbledore know what we had chosen. We proceeded to take a rather unusual way back to the common room - Dumbledore had asked us to see whether Peeves was lurking in a seldom-used hallway. Once again, the atmosphere was rather uncomfortable, and I felt the need to say something to lighten the mood a little.

'A lot of firsts today for me,' I said quickly. 'First time I've ever been in Dumbledore's office, and first time I've ever been in the kitchens.'

'Well, it was the first time I was in either of those places without feeling nervous,' Potter said, completely serious. This caused me to laugh.

'How come that doesn't surprise me?'

'Ah, but I'm full of surprises,' he said, trying and failing to sound mysterious.

I laughed once more. 'I'm sure you are.' Trying hard to come up with a new subject, I quickly said the first thing that popped into my head. 'In fact, I know hardly anything about you.'

'There's not much to say,' he shrugged. For a moment, I was sure that I had misunderstood what he had just said.

'James Potter, reluctant to talk about himself? Pinch me, for I must be dreaming,' I laughed once I came to my senses.

He smiled at me; a slightly lopsided smile, but a nice once nevertheless. 'What would you like to know?'

'Well, we've already established that you're an only child,' I said, thinking of good, neutral topics to discuss. 'What else? Pure-blood, I suppose?' He nodded, as I had suspected he would. 'Thought so. What are your parents like?'

He looked at me with a surprised look in his eyes, as though thinking this was a rather bizarre question. 'Er, they're alright, I suppose.' I nodded and raked my mind for something else to say.

'What do you like doing in your spare time? Except for playing Quidditch, of course.'

'You mean there's anything besides Quidditch?' he asked in a mock-shocked voice. 'Just the usual. You know, being with my friends. Sleeping.'

'Hexing people?' I said before I could stop myself. Uh-oh. Not neutral. His ears went rather red.

'No. That was a long time ago,' he said in a strangled voice.

'I noticed,' I replied truthfully. 'I'm glad.' As I added the last two words, the red from his ears spread all over his face. I stopped myself from grinning and quickly thought of something else to ask. 'What do you really hate?'

'Tripe,' he said instantly. 'Tripe and the Dark Arts.'

I didn't feel the need to hide my smile this time. 'Interesting combination.'

'Yeah. Enough about me, what about you? What do you really hate?' he said, looking interestedly at me.

'Injustice,' I said immediately. Feeling as though I should probably lighten that statement up a little, I quickly added, 'Though I can't say I'm all that keen on tripe, myself.'

He smiled at me then, really beamed. I could see his teeth and everything. His grin was rather infectious, and I smiled back at him. This wasn't bad. I didn't regret my decision to give him a chance at all.

'How about -' he began, but then broke off suddenly, looking around in terror.

'What?' I said, completely nonplussed. I hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary.

'Filch!' he hissed. 'Quick, in here!' He grabbed a hold of my arm and rather roughly pushed me inside some hidden corner or something. I couldn't see anything, but I felt him squeezing inside next to me.

'What are you doing?' I said rather viciously as I pulled my arm from his grasp. Did he think he was being funny?

'I didn't want Filch to see us!' he replied in a similar tone. I couldn't help but to roll my eyes at his stupidity.

'Just what do you think he'd do about it? We're Head Boy and Girl, on our way back from helping the headmaster!'

I could tell he was staring at me, but I couldn't make out much more in the darkness. 'Old habit,' he said and shrugged. I shook my head, half in annoyance and half in amusement.

'Where are we, anyway?' I asked.

'I'm not sure,' he replied. 'I'm pretty sure we're standing under a staircase, but I have no idea which one.'

My eyes had become a little more accustomed to the dark, and I could make out his features. I caught sight of something in his hair and grinned. 'Well, wherever we are, it doesn't appear to have been cleaned for quite some time. You've got dust in your hair.' We were already standing quite close to each other, due to the lack of space, so I didn't have to reach very far to remove it. As I leaned over, I noticed something. He had stopped breathing.

He can't even breathe properly when you're around.

I pushed those thoughts aside and reached up, put my hand to his hair and then drew back again. 'See?' I said, showing him the small amount of dust.

He exhaled rather loudly, causing me to think about Sirius's statement again. 'You've got some in your hair as well,' he said, his voice sounding rather strained.

He stepped a little closer, which was really quite unnecessary as I had been perfectly able to reach his hair and his arms were quite a bit longer than mine. He reached out his hand almost painfully slowly, a look of intent concentration on his face. I felt him remove the dust, and then, I felt him stroke my hair.

What?

I thought I might have just imagined it and was about to dismiss it, when he did it again. I looked up at him, raising an eyebrow questioningly and pursing my lips. What was he playing at?

I saw his jaw drop slightly as I looked up at him. Before I had managed to realise what he was doing, his hand had tightened in my hair and his head was coming closer to mine. I felt my eyes widen, and then his lips touched mine.

My eyes immediately fluttered close at the contact. My heart had started beating rather hard. What was he doing?

Actually, I knew what he was doing. He was just standing there, pressing his lips against mine, and... smelling really good. And I knew what I was doing. Or rather, what I wasn't doing. I wasn't pushing him away.

And then, he kissed me. I don't think I have ever been kissed so gently before. It was like he was afraid I was going to break in his arms. I didn't mind. In fact, I quite liked it.

Alright, that was a lie. I really liked it. His mouth felt just as good as it looked, and the boy did know how to kiss. Before I had even realised what I was doing, I felt myself respond. He stiffened a bit as I started moving my lips, but apparently recovered quickly, because he went back to kissing me.

Oh, this was nice. In fact, I couldn't remember the last time I had ever felt anything so nice. Not really even thinking anymore, I parted my lips slightly and gently drew my tongue over his full lower lip.

I'm not sure what happened next, but he must have liked that. His hands tightened even more in my hair, and he stepped even closer, pinning me against the wall, his chest pressed against mine. The gentle kisses had vanished, and he was kissing me in a very different way. It wasn't aggressive, but it wasn't gently either. It was hard, yet soft, fast, but not sloppy. Not bad at all. I felt myself respond in kind, putting my hands on his shoulders.

Then, just as suddenly as he had started, he pulled back. I stared at him. His eyes looked rather dazed, and his lips were red and swollen. He looked almost terrified. 'I'm sorry,' he croaked, and the he stumbled out backwards, leaving me alone with my confused thoughts and feelings.

James Potter had just kissed me.

And I had liked it.

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