Sexy Back

Disclaimer: I do not own the song "Sexy Back" by Justin Timberlake.

"Hey, guys! Guess what I bought in London!" Sirius exclaimed to Remus, James, and Peter. Remus was reading, Peter was trying to finish his Potions homework, and James was procrastinating this homework by playing with his hair.

"What?" Peter took the bait.

"A radio!"

"Electronics don't work in Hogwarts, Sirius. You know that. You tried bringing a television, a telephone, and remember the time you tried your clothes zappy thing that was supposed to zap my... er... other people's clothes off?" Remus said.

"In his defense, I don't think the clothes thing worked in the first place," said James, slightly disturbed.

"Oh, yeah," said Sirius sadly. Then he had an epiphany. He took out his wand, flicked it in the direction of the radio, and it turned into a record player. "Record players work here!"

"You manage to find the loophole in everything," Remus mused.

"Well, what are you going to torture us with?" Peter wondered, hoping it wouldn't be classical music or something.

"Let's see what I have here..." Sirius turned on the record player, and out came a very catchy beat. Sirius grinned, and Remus, James, and Peter knew they were in trouble.

"Why are you smiling, Sirius?" James asked cautiously.

"That record player doesn't zap clothes off people, does it?" Peter shuddered.

"Of course not," he said cheerfully. "You see..."

The words suddenly began in the song, and Sirius sang right along with them.

"I'm bringing sexy back. Them other boys don't know how to act."

Sirius winked at Remus while James and Peter cringed. Remus just blushed.

"I think it's special what's behind your back. So turn around, and I'll pick up the slack."

Sirius danced around the dormitory, every once in a while glancing sexily at Remus, who continued to blush so much he could have been mistaken for a tomato wearing robes.

"Dirty babe. You see these shackles, baby; I'm your slave. I'll let you whip me if I misbehave. It's just that no one makes me feel this way," Sirius sang. "Whip me, Remus." Sirius added where the song actually said, "Take 'em to the chorus."

"Come here, girl. Go 'head be gone with it. Come to back. Go 'head be gone with it. VIP. Go 'head be gone with it. Drinks on me." Sirius continued to sing, dance, wink, glance... basically everything that made James and Peter flinch and Remus blush. "Go 'head be gone with it. Let me see what you're workin' with. Go 'head be gone with it. Look at those hips."

At that, Sirius somehow got Remus off the bed and standing up. Sirius somewhat guided Remus dancing around the room. Remus didn't know if Sirius's ways were getting to him or if someone spiked his pumpkin juice at dinner, but before he knew it, he was dancing right there with Sirius. He was even singing the, "Go 'head be gone with it," part of the song.

James and Peter were in shock. Sirius was being crazy as usual, but Remus was singing around the room? Not to mention the inappropriate dance moves that were going on.

"Go 'head be gone with it."

"You make me smile."

"Go 'head be gone with it."

"Come here, child."

"Go 'head be gone with it."

"And get your sexy on!" Sirius exclaimed a little too enthusiastically. Remus nearly fell over.

Sirius took over from here, while Remus did a little dance solo in the middle of the room.

"Get your sexy on. Go ahead, be gone with it. Get your sexy on. Go ahead, be gone with it. Get your sexy on. Go ahead, be gone with it. Get your sexy on. Go ahead, be gone with it. Get your sexy on. Go ahead, be gone with it. Get your sexy on. Go ahead, be gone with it. Get your sexy on."

Sirius and Remus didn't seem to notice that James and Peter were disturbed, appalled, or even there because within seconds of the last line of the chorus, they were making out. They somehow separated before the next verse, which Remus sang.

"I'm bringing sexy back."

"Yeah!" Sirius said... well, more like yelled... the background vocal line.

"Them other fuckers don't know how to act." Both Peter and James gasped out loud simultaneously at Remus's using the "F-word." Sirius didn't seem surprised. James wincingly came to the conclusion that Remus probably said it all the time... in bed.

"Come let me make up for the things you lack 'cause you're burning up I gotta get it fast. Take 'em to the bridge," Remus pointed to Sirius who didn't miss a beat and began to sing the bridge of the song.

"Dirty babe. You see these shackles, baby; I'm your slave. I'll let you whip me if I misbehave."

Now it was Remus winking. Peter looked as if he was going to throw up at any given second.

"It's just that no one makes me feel this way. Take 'em to the chorus."

Remus and Sirius finally stopped singing themselves, and let the record take over as they danced, kissed, danced, kissed, danced, kissed, etc. Peter hid under his covers, but James couldn't look away. It was like a train wreck.

"Come here girl. Go 'head be gone with it. Come to the back. Go 'head be gone with it. VIP. Go 'head be gone with it. Drinks on me. Go 'head be gone with it. Let me see what you're workin' with. Go 'head be gone with it. Look at those hips. Go 'head be gone with it. You make me smile. Go 'head be gone with it. Come here, child. Go 'head be gone with it. And get your sexy on. Go 'head be gone with it."

Remus and Sirius picked the song back up here, and Peter unpleasantly found himself humming it.

"Get your sexy on." Sirius was giggling by this point.

"Go ahead, be gone with it." Remus still hadn't stopped blushing.

"Get your sexy on!" Sirius laughed.

"Go ahead, be gone with it!" Remus was also starting to laugh.

"Get your sexy on," said Sirius in a silly voice that even made Peter laugh a little from under his covers.

"Go ahead, be gone with it!" Remus laughed in a funny voice that could battle Sirius's.

"Get your sexy ON!" Sirius put emphasis on the last syllable, and did a little thrust to highlight it.

Remus was laughing and blushing too hard to say the next line, and Sirius also started laughing hysterically. So much so, he finally turned off the record player.

Remus and Sirius fell on top of Sirius's bed in laughter, and as if Peter and James could read each other's minds, they were out of there in a second.

"So," Remus laughed, "why'd you really bring that radio?"

"We're alone now, aren't we?"

"Good plan," Remus smiled and hopped under the covers.

Sirius grinned, "Get your sexy on."