Desperation, Daring, and Danger

A/N: Where would I be without my beta-extraordinaire, Dreamer, who has to be the world's best beta? Thank you! And to SortingHat47--thank you for being a Good Thing! (BTW: where's the sequel to "Summoned"?)

Deep gratitude to all those who have read, enjoyed--and reviewed!

*******

It was rather late in the evening, and Remus was actually up and making his way into the kitchen when his father fire-called. "Are you supposed to be out of bed, son?" he asked doubtfully.

"I've taken all my potions, like a good boy," Remus said, the corner of his mouth hitching up. "But really, I feel fine."

"You know we'd be after him if he were doing anything wrong, Mr. Lupin," Lily said, coming into the room from the kitchen. "I've just made dinner, though, and we thought we'd let him try to come out to eat."

"Oh, we were going to bring take-out for you lot," Mr. Lupin said, in a disappointed tone, "for taking care of our boy."

"You talk as though I'm six, and you need to pay the babysitters," Remus huffed.

"You've told how many lies to your mother and me about what you've been doing? It's as if you were six all over again, lying about walking on the carpet with muddy shoes!"

Remus rubbed the back of his neck. The lecture would be coming soon, and by the sharpness in his dad's normally calm voice, it promised to be ugly.

Lily came to his side and slipped an arm through his. "Are you Flooing, then, Mr. Lupin? Should I set a place for you and Mrs. Lupin?" She felt Remus's tension at the mention of his mother.

"Since you're already eating, we'll just Apparate up. We'll stop and have a bite somewhere first. And yes, Remus, your mother is coming. She's not happy."

Remus sighed. "I didn't think she would be."

John Lupin seemed ready to say something else, but instead, he sighed too. Lily coughed lightly to cover her giggle at how much alike the two sounded. "We'll be there in about an hour," the man informed them.

*******

"What in the world were you thinking?" The woman's shrill voice cut through any pretense at conversation that Sirius, James, and Lily were making in the living room.

They heard Remus's voice, calm and imperturbable, though not the words.

"Did you honestly think you'd get away with it?"

Sirius would have loved to hear Remus's answer to that one. He got up from the chair he had been sitting in and edged toward the kitchen door. Lily and James watched him but didn't try to stop him. Apparently they were just as curious.

Mrs. Lupin's voice lowered several degrees in volume, but not quite enough. "It was Sirius's idea, wasn't it?"

"No, Mum, it wasn't. I got a letter from the Ministry--"

"Where is the letter?" Mr. Lupin interrupted.

"It's in my book, in the other room."

"Get it."

"Yes sir."

Sirius bounced back into his chair and was sitting there with his hands primly in his lap when Remus came through the door. The werewolf gave his friend a suspicious glance, but went on into the bedroom. James followed him.

"Do you want one of us to come in with you? To take some of the attention off you?"

Remus shook his head. "No point. They kicked you out of the room in the first place. Besides, I just want to get this over with."

"They don't have to do this tonight, you know. You can tell them to wait. I mean, gods, Remus. You nearly died only a matter of hours ago."

"I'm fine. Werewolf constitution, you know." The book was lying on a small table near the bed, and Remus pulled the letter out of it. Slowly he opened it, and let his eyes scan it. He suddenly looked at James.

"What?"

A gleam appeared in Remus's eyes--James couldn't swear it wasn't tears. "It would have been brilliant to have done this--with you and Sirius."

"Yeah, it would have been," James agreed softly.

Remus pushed past him and went back to the kitchen.

*******

Sirius didn't have to stand near the kitchen door to hear what was going on now. The argument between parents and son had been going on for an hour, with no sign of abating any time soon. Lily had got paler and more upset as time had gone on. James had tousled his hair to the point that Sirius was sure the next step was to pull it out. Sirius himself had risen at least twice in order to go into the kitchen, but had been pulled back by James.

Lily had quietly but fervently begged James to let Sirius go. "Remus isn't well enough for this!"

"He's holding his own," James said. "They have to work this out."

"Do you think they can?" Sirius asked, skeptically.

James's expression was pained.

"Didn't you think of the consequences, Remus?" Mrs. Lupin was demanding. "Do you even know what the consequences would be?"

"Yes, I knew!" Remus shouted back. "But you know what, Mum? Maybe it'd be a whole lot easier in Azkaban than the life I'm looking at right now!"

Sirius sat up straight, holding his breath in shock. James and Lily had frozen as well and were staring toward the kitchen. There was the sound of a chair being pushed back, legs scraping across the floor. Through the doorway, Sirius glimpsed Remus. The werewolf was pacing; it was a prelude to stalking. Never a good sign, he thought. Would Remus's parents know that?

"Why didn't you tell me?" Remus went on. His voice, normally so controlled, was almost unrecognizable to them because of the anger. "Why didn't you fucking tell me that I was going to have so much trouble getting a job?"

There was the slightest moment of silence and then both parents began to speak. "Remus, don't you dare use that language..."

"Remus, there are options..."

"The options suck, Dad!"

"Remus John Lupin!"

Glass shattered and Sirius jumped to his feet and started for the kitchen. He wasn't going to leave Moony alone at this moment. There had been only one other time when he had known Remus to be this angry, and--Sirius didn't want to think about it.

"I am eighteen years old, Mum! I am not eight! I can use whatever fucking language I bloody well please! If you don't like it, you can bloody well leave!"

"If you want treated like an adult, you will act like an adult!" Mr. Lupin snapped, rising to his feet as Sirius got to the doorway.

"And you've been so great at being the adult!" Remus sneered. "You hid things from me! Why? Were you were afraid that I'd somehow blame you? I had the right to know! You should have told me! McGonagall should have told me! Someone should have been the adult here and had the balls--or the guts, Mum, if that'll make you happy--to tell me that I'll never be able to find a good job! Someone should have told me I was wasting my time getting an education that I will never be able to use!"

Mr. Lupin was staring at his son in shock. Sirius wondered if this were the first time that he had ever seen Remus so angry, and realized it probably was. "Remus, that's not true. There are jobs out there. There is something you can do--"

"Until they find out I'm a werewolf," Remus said bitterly.

"No, there are people out there who won't be--" the older wizard fumbled for a word.

"Worried?" Remus supplied in harsh helpfulness. "Scared? Terrified?"

"Remus, dear, I understand you're upset about not being an Auror, like James and Sirius, but are you sure you'd want to be an Auror anyhow?" Mrs. Lupin suddenly asked. "As your father said, there are other jobs."

Remus closed his eyes, and Sirius knew the other young man was fighting something very strong and angry within himself. "Mum," he finally said, his voice strangled from throttling emotion. "Being an Auror was something I dreamed about for years, until Dad told me that the Ministry wouldn't hire me because I'm a werewolf. I didn't want to believe him at the time. I thought he just didn't want me to have such a dangerous job. But I knew he wouldn't lie to me about something so important. So, yes, I knew the letter was more than likely a mistake, but I wanted to prove to them that I--a werewolf--could do it. Yes, I could have gone to Azkaban--I still could, I suppose. But I couldn't help but think that if I did get into the program..."

"But, darling, it's such a dangerous job! So many Aurors die so young!"

Remus's patience snapped again. "Do you even read the shit that the Ministry gives you about living with a werewolf? Do you know how long a werewolf lives, Mum? Do you realize that at this point, I'm practically middle-aged? Have you read the stuff that tells about how the stress and strain on my body from all the transformations will drag me into my grave by the time I'm fifty?"

"Remus!" Mr. Lupin slapped his hand down on the table.

Sirius inhaled sharply.

Remus's mother said weakly, "Sweetheart, you know the Ministry lies about--"

"Stop denying what I am!" shouted Remus. "I--am--not--normal, Mum! I am never going to be normal! I'm not even considered human!"

Mrs. Lupin dissolved into tears.

"That is enough!" John Lupin yelled.

But Remus was not going to be shouted down or denied his chance to say exactly what he was thinking and feeling. "Yes, you're right, Dad," he snarled. "Only it's me who's had enough. Enough of pretending that I'm going to have any kind of a normal life. Enough of pretending that I'm going to have a job, or a house, or a family of my own. I'm a fucking Dark creature! A creature! I can't get a job with the Aurors--not because I don't have the ability! I can't have it because they can't trust me not to tear out their throats at the full moon!"

There was a loud wail from Remus's mother, and even Sirius cringed.

"You will apologize to your mother, young man, and you'll do it now!"

"Apologize for what? For telling her things that she should have accepted about me a long time ago? Or should I apologize for being a monster? I'm a fucking boggart to half of the wizarding world, for fuck's sake!"

Mr. Lupin's hand came up, but whether he was just going to point, or make some other kind of gesture, Sirius wasn't sure. All he knew was that when his father raised his hand that quickly, with that look, it usually meant a bruise along Sirius's cheekbone...

"No!" He grabbed Remus's arm and pulled him away from the table, from crying Mrs. Lupin, from furious Mr. Lupin. "Stop!" He moved in front of Remus, and put one hand on his friend's chest. "Stop it, Remus!"

John Lupin turned his back to them and forcefully shoved his hands in his pockets. Sirius looked at Mrs. Lupin. Her hands were covering her face, and she was sobbing as if her heart were broken. Perhaps it was. With a quick glance at Remus that told him to stay where he was, Sirius went over and picked up a handful of napkins for the woman.

"Thank you, dear," she snuffled, reaching for the napkins.

Sirius stepped back in front of Remus, trying to catch his friend's eye. Remus had his eyes on his father, though, watching and waiting. There was a definite predatory look in his eye. Sirius had seen it in the wolf's eyes as a desire for dominance. He was suddenly glad he had pulled Remus away from his father. Not for Remus's sake, but for Mr. Lupin's. "Look, Mr. Lupin, Mrs. Lupin, maybe you should leave. Remus has been through a lot today--"

"This has taken us by surprise," Mr. Lupin suddenly said, turning back around, ignoring Sirius altogether. "I--I hardly know what to say." He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Remus."

The younger Lupin's voice shook as he asked, "About what, Dad? Which part are you sorry for? The lies? The fact that now it's all catching up to me? Which part?"

"Remus, please don't be like this," his mother suddenly pleaded. "We don't want you to be angry. We didn't want you to be hurt."

Remus looked at his mother, but didn't offer the apology that they all thought he would. Instead, he stepped around Sirius to get closer to his father, staring him right in the eyes. "It's too late for that. Why didn't you tell me?"

"For the same reason that Professor McGonagall didn't, I'd guess," his father finally said with a sigh, deliberately looking down and away from his son's face. "We hoped it wouldn't be so difficult for you. You worked so hard, and had such great marks, and even greater talent. We didn't think it was necessary to worry you about something that might not have happened."

"You thought it would be better for me to be unprepared and--stupid?"

"Not stupid. Never stupid." John Lupin snapped, his eyes coming back up to meet his son's.

Remus didn't say anything, but the tension emanating him spoke volumes. But I was unprepared; I had no idea.

"I wish now that I'd never gone to Hogwarts," Remus finally muttered, his shoulders slumping as anger suddenly gave way to despair. If Sirius hadn't been in the room, he would never have believed his friend had said it. He turned, jaw dropping, but John Lupin spoke first.

"Don't ever say that. You deserved to go! You earned the right to go!"

"But I--"

"No! You listen to me! You have the skill. You have the talent--you know you do. So you're having a hard time finding a job. Do you realize how much more difficult it would be for you without an education? You might have found yourself in one of those werewolf communities, just barely human. I--we--didn't want that for you. And that's not going to happen to you. You are a fully educated, fully trained wizard, and there's not one organization in all of Great Britain that shouldn't want you."

"But Dad, they don't. That's the bloody point."

"Then you look--somewhere else."

"Out of the country? Where?"

"You've just started looking, Remus. Sometimes the right job takes a while to find. We'll figure something out. We always have before."

The older man closed the distance between them until they were now only an arm's length away from each other.

"I wanted this so much," Remus suddenly whispered.

"I know."

Sirius crept out of the room.

Lily and James were still sitting on the couch, their arms around each other.

"Is everyone still alive out there?" asked James very quietly.

"Yeah."

"Is Remus all right?"

Sirius hesitated. "He will be."

There was a sudden knock at the door.

"Whoever it is picked a good time to show up," Lily said rolling her eyes.

"It might have been better if they had shown up fifteen minutes ago," James pointed out.

Sirius shook his head. "No." He jerked a thumb in the direction of the kitchen. "That was something that's been coming for a while now. It needed to be said."

He opened up the door to see Healer MacMillan standing there. "Hello, Black. I told Lupin I'd stop by one more time--how is he?"

"Well, other than the knockdown, drag-out fight he and his parents are having in the kitchen--"

The Healer's smile faded. "What do you mean 'fight?'"

"Oh, it's been awful," Lily said. "I've never heard Remus yell like that."

"Are you people aware of how sick he was?" MacMillan demanded.

"Well, yeah, but there's not a lot you can do when--"

"Oh, yes, there is." And with that, the Healer marched into the other room. There were sharp words spoken, and in a moment, a furious Healer pushed Remus out of the kitchen and toward the bedroom. Now that the anger of before had somewhat eased, Sirius could see how pale Remus was, and how utterly exhausted he looked.

Before he could follow them into the bedroom, someone else knocked at the door.

"It's like the Three bloody Broomsticks on a Hogsmeade weekend!" muttered Sirius, opening the door.

Alastor Moody stood there, wand aimed right at Sirius's face. "And just like that, you're dead, Black. Don't you know you live in dangerous times? You need to have constant vigilance! You don't just open the damned door! Ask who it is first, and don't stand right in front of the door while you do. Got it?"

"Uh, yes, sir. Sorry, sir." He stood there for a moment, staring at the Auror. "Oh, won't you come in?"

Moody thumped in, and Sirius wondered how they hadn't heard that wooden leg on the steps. Still, the Auror probably had forgotten more tricks of stealth than Sirius would ever know.

The Lupins had come out of the kitchen, and were standing in front of the fireplace, looking uncertain.

"I want to apologize," Mr. Lupin began.

Sirius shook his head. "No, don't, Mr. Lupin. It's all right."

"I'm sure we made you uncomfortable," Mr. Lupin began again, "and that wasn't our intention." He put a hand on Sirius's shoulder. "You should know that I wasn't going to hit him." He ignored Lily's sudden sharp intake of breath. "I've never hit him, and I'm not going to start now. I regret making you think that."

"It's all right, Mr. Lupin," Sirius said again.

"Still, I know that my temper got the better of me." He shook his head. "I never realized how deep Remus's anger went. It was disturbing, and, I admit, I reacted poorly to that."

Lily said, soothingly, "You're just worried about Remus. Just as we are."

"That's just it," Mrs. Lupin said shrilly. "He does these things and doesn't stop to think of how dangerous they are. I mean, honestly, the Aurors? What was he thinking? I swear there are times he's trying to break my heart..." The tears welled up in her eyes.

Sirius just stared at her, blinking slowly. Did the woman not get it? Wasn't she in that kitchen listening? Didn't she realize this was about more than just the Aurors?

Healer MacMillan came out of the bedroom. "He's almost asleep already. If you're going to say goodbye, you'd better do it now."

Mrs. Lupin started to walk toward the room, but her husband caught her by the arm. "No. We'll see him tomorrow."

"John, I--"

"No," he said firmly. "We've--talked--enough tonight. It's late."

Still protesting, Mrs. Lupin watched as her husband threw a pinch of Floo Powder into the fireplace. With an angry look, she stepped into the green flames, calling out their address and whirled away. Immediately, the tension in the room eased.

Mr. Lupin took a deep breath and reached again for the can on the mantel.

Alastor Moody suddenly stopped him. "You're Lupin's father?"

"Oh, sorry!" James said quickly. "We should have introduced you." He rectified that little problem then stepped back to Lily's side.

"I was wondering if I might have a word with you," Moody said.

Lupin looked surprised. "Me? Certainly."

"You might want to tell your wife," the Auror said, motioning to the fireplace. "It might take some time."

*******

Moody and the elder Lupin walked slowly down the street. John Lupin had his hands in his pockets and his head slightly bowed, looking every bit like a man with much on his mind. Alastor Moody kept his eyes moving constantly, eying up every shadow, every piece of paper, every leaf. Finally, he broke the silence. "Your boy did well this week."

"So the boys told me."

"You have reason to be proud of him."

"I've always been proud of him," said Lupin firmly.

"He's a good defense man. And with those reflexes and overactive senses of his, he's definitely a force to be reckoned with." Moody stopped to peer intently into an alley.

Lupin noticed, and stopped to wait for the Auror a couple of steps away. "He's strong," he said with a shrug. "He's always been strong. The wolf would have destroyed him if he hadn't been."

"He's got the strongest Protego I've ever seen for someone his age."

"He's got a strong Protego for anyone of any age," Remus's dad corrected.

"You taught him that." It was said very matter-of-factly.

"I had to. I had to teach him how to defend himself. I knew there'd always be teenagers or adults who might attack him if they suspected what he was. I took him to get his wand when he was eight. I thought he'd never go to Hogwarts; that I'd have to teach him at home. So, I started him young, I admit it. On defense spells mainly. And a few healing spells." His eyes took on a faraway look as if remembering something, and then he blinked it all away rapidly. "His injuries after the full moon were getting worse. I had to show him how to heal some of it so he wouldn't bleed to death before I got to him. If he could, that is."

"Practical," grunted Moody.

They continued walking. "You know, if it weren't for the bloody Ministry," Moody said, "I'd take him on. Problem is, I think the Ministry would ruin him. You know they would."

"Oh?" Lupin tilted his head in Moody's direction. The streetlight they were passing revealed the curious look on his face.

"Did you ever tell him you worked for the Ministry?"

A slight raising of the eyebrows was the only sign that the other man had been surprised by Moody's question. "No, I never did. But he probably knows. He's bright. He works things out. When he does work something out, he's likely to keep it close to his chest until you mention it first. Knows how to keep a secret, our Remus."

"I remembered hearing your name. 'Got a problem with a Magical Creature? Call Lupin.' I called on you a couple times myself." Moody smiled, though the scars on his face made it look rather sinister.

"I remember."

They had reached the corner by this point. Moody swung to the right without warning; John Lupin had to take slightly longer steps to catch up. Another man was coming toward them, and the Auror moved to Lupin's left so that he would be closer to the stranger. The man noticed Moody's scrutiny and stepped onto the street to pass them. Moody grunted with satisfaction, glancing back over his shoulder to watch the man cross the street.

It was then that he picked the conversation back up. "I did some checking on your boy--on his studies at Hogwarts. He's got your touch with creatures."

"Are you surprised?" Lupin chuckled. "No matter where we've gone, I've always been able to get a good job exterminating or relocating creatures. I tend to bring my work home with me though. Remus knew what a grindylow was before he'd seen an elephant."

"When I saw how well he'd done in Magical Creatures, and remembered the name, I put two and two together... I remember your leaving. Your resignation shocked a lot of people."

"I had no choice. When Remus got bitten, and I thought of all the dealings I'd had with werewolves--I couldn't risk being in a situation where I would have to choose between my son and my work." He sighed. "I knew how they treated werewolves. I didn't want to be part of an organization that believed my son's humanity was anything less than it is."

"The Ministry can be hard. Your boy would be jaded in months. It's a bloody miracle he isn't already. Or is he?"

"He's a realist. He understands. He might not always be happy, but he understands."

"That's why I'm almost glad I can't make him an Auror."

"Being an Auror is something that he dreamed of for years, until his fourth year at Hogwarts. That's when I dashed his hopes by telling him the Aurors wouldn't have him." Lupin stopped at a shop window and peered at a display of television sets. "I saw what that did to him. So, after that, when he talked about jobs and careers and possibilities, I couldn't do it to him again. It was--a mistake to keep it from him. It's almost got him killed. But, I couldn't destroy his hopes and dreams again."

Moody was silent, and after a moment, John Lupin went on. "I've seen him lose the dream of having a normal life. I've seen him have to give up friends, dreams of jobs--and I won't even go into the pain I know he faces when he meets a girl he likes. He finally said today that he's convinced he has no chance for a wife and children of his own." He looked at Moody, and the Auror could see the man's anguish. "There are times I don't know how he goes on. If he would lose those friends of his, I don't think he would."

They started walking again. They reached the end of the next block, and Moody again motioned to the right. It was another half a block before Moody cleared his throat noisily. "What if I told you I had something in mind for him? A job to make the most of his abilities?"

Lupin gave him a quick, sharp look. "I'd tell you that I'd be forever in your debt. What are you thinking?"

Moody seemed to consider the question very carefully. "You know what's been going on, Lupin. You married a Muggle-born. You'd be stupid not to be worried about her--and Remus, too. You know the time's coming when every wizard is going to have to choose what side he's on. The Aurors can't take on the fight by themselves. Our hands get tied by protocol and what's popular."

"But, as Sirius so succinctly put it earlier to me, when he was telling me about this plan of theirs, 'you get to make a difference' if you're an Auror."

"Ah, things are black and white to that one. Your boy sees shades of gray."

"Because he is a shade of gray."

"I'll grant you that. This war--and make no doubt about it, it is a war--is going to tear the Ministry apart. I can even name three or four Aurors right now who believe Voldemort might have the right idea."

Lupin sighed. "It's hard to believe that wizards and witches who have been sworn to protect us from Dark magic-users might actually side with them."

"And yet it happens. But you know, your boy is going to want to fight," Moody said.

"Yes, he probably will."

"He's strong. He's daring. He doesn't mind the danger."

"He was desperate when he went into this mess."

"Maybe. But if the war goes on for any great length of time, we'll all be a bit desperate."

"So what are you on about, Moody? Remus can't be an Auror, we both know that. You just said you're glad he won't be. But how can he fight otherwise?"

"Sometimes," said Moody quietly but firmly, "you've got to take things into your own hands."

John Lupin reared back a bit, a startled look on his face. "You want to make a mercenary out of him?"

"No. Not exactly." They reached the end of the block and automatically made the turn to the right. "I know of a group that's forming. A group especially formed to fight Voldemort and all he stands for. It will need people to get into places the Aurors can't--to collect information and process it like the Ministry won't. It will need people who can think fast on their feet, and be quicker with their wands. Think that would appeal to your Remus?"

"Why are you asking me?"

"Because I'm going to ask him. But he'd be right on the front lines fighting. It's not going to be pleasant. He'll see things and do things that we'd both rather he didn't have to. And he'll have to do it without telling you a thing. Can you and your wife support him without asking him questions? Can you heal him without asking him how he got hurt?"

Lupin was quiet for a long moment. "I don't know if we could. But, as I said, Remus holds things in, and he holds things back. We probably wouldn't know nearly as much as you think we would." He shook his head. "My wife--Merlin knows I love her, but--she might have some difficulty with not asking questions."

"Do you think you and Remus could come up with enough stories to cover what he's doing?"

"You're asking me to lie to my wife?"

"For the sake of giving your son a purpose? And to save the world from that bastard, Voldemort? Yes."

They made the next right turn and were now back onto the street of Sirius's flat.

"Can I ask why you're asking me this?" Lupin suddenly asked. "I have the feeling that if you would be asking any other young man to join you--James, for example--you wouldn't be having this conversation with his father."

Moody shrugged. "That's probably true. And to be honest, I had no intention of telling you about this when I came here tonight. But, thing is...well, I notice things. I've been watching your boy this week. I've been watching you since we've been walking." He stopped in the doorway of a small grocery store, just two doors down from Sirius's flat. "I see you in Remus. Hell, just look at how you're standing right now. That's the way he stands: hands in his pockets, head tilted, shoulders slumped..." He laughed gruffly. "The two of you are close. He'd never lie to you unless he knew the truth was going to hurt you. And the fact is, the things I'm going to want him to do might hurt him, and they'd hurt you knowing he was doing them."

"You do want him to kill someone," Lupin breathed.

"If he has to, yes."

"Gods."

"It's a damned war, Lupin."

"I--know." The other man was struggling for words. Moody sensed it and gave him the time he needed. "We've had to be very aware of the fact that he could take someone's life once a month, and we've done everything to prevent that from happening."

"I'm not using him like he's Fenrir Greyback," Moody said.

John Lupin winced audibly.

"I need him to counter what Greyback's doing," Moody explained. "I need him as a man, not a wolf."

There was a short humorless chuckle. "And this is supposed to make me feel better?"

"He won't tell you if he knows it'll hurt you," Moody repeated. "And you'll know he's lying, and you won't be able to get answers out of him." He took a deep breath. "This will tear the two of you apart, and I'm smart enough to see that."

"Does our relationship matter that much? Even for the sake of the wizarding world?" Lupin asked, sounding bitter.

"There will be enough families destroyed by what's going on, and by what's coming," Moody replied. "I want to keep as many families intact as I can."

John Lupin kicked at the brick wall beneath the shop window with the toe of his loafer. "And if I say I don't want you to talk to him?"

"I'll do it anyway. I need him."

"And then he really will lie to me."

"He may decide he doesn't want to be part of this. He may think you won't approve, and that'll keep him out of it."

"No." Lupin shook his head. "I know him. He'll want to do the right thing." A brief, sarcastic chuckle escaped him. "He told us earlier that life in Azkaban would be preferable to whatever uncertainty he's facing now. How could I refuse any opportunity for him to feel needed, or wanted, or valued?" He drew a deep breath, and extended his hand. "Take care of my son, Moody."

*******

There was a noise: a door slamming? Something falling? Remus woke up and experienced the disorientation one gets from waking up abruptly in an unfamiliar place. It only took a moment to remember that he was in Sirius's bed, and only a fraction of a second more to remember why he was there.

"I lived," he whispered.

"That you did," came a gruff voice from the doorway.

Remus flipped over, hand reaching automatically to the small table beside the bed for his wand. His hand met with air, and his brain reminded him, belatedly, that he had no idea where his wand was at that minute. He lay there feeling completely incompetent and unprotected, and utterly foolish.

"And just like that, you're dead," Moody said, stumping into the room, holding his own wand out in front of himself.

"You surprised me," Remus admitted.

"Well, hell's fire, lad, what did you think a Death Eater would do to you if you were an Auror? I don't think he's going to say, 'Let me give you a minute, old chap, to go get your wand.'" His mock upper-class British accent made them both smile.

The younger man pulled himself up so that he was sitting back against the headboard. "I guess I would hope I had a friend, or at least an ally of some sort, looking out after me while I was sleeping, then."

"Hmph."

"Where's Sirius? Do you know?"

"The Ministry." Moody hooked his good foot around a chair and pulled it around so he could sit down. "There's no law against aiding and abetting werewolves who are determined to break the law to gain a Ministry job. At least, not yet."

"That will change, no doubt." Remus glanced at the small clock sitting on the table by the bed. "I slept that long?"

"Well, in case you missed it, you weren't feeling so good yesterday," Moody said dryly.

Remus chuckled.

"Good to know you can laugh at almost dying."

"What else can I do?" Remus asked. "It's a little late to cry about it." He swung his feet over the side of the bed, and then tentatively stood up. Moody watched, but said nothing. "I have to admit, uh, sir, that I'm a little surprised to see you here."

Moody snorted contemptuously. "They can handle things down at the Ministry for now. If they can't handle a couple of candidates, well..." He let the sentence trail off so he could change the subject. "Actually, you and I need to have a little talk. Think you're up for some lunch?"

*******

They Apparated to Hogsmeade and went to the Three Broomsticks. Rosmerta looked more than a little surprised to see Remus with the Auror, but knew enough not to comment.

Remus reached for the mug of butterbeer that she put in front of him.

"Boy, didn't yesterday teach you anything?" Moody demanded.

The mug halted inches from Remus's lips. "Um..." He supposed there was a lesson to be learned, but what it had to do with a mug of butterbeer was beyond him.

"Don't just drink something that someone hands you! For Merlin's sake, you drank wolfsbane yesterday just because a Healer handed it to you, and you didn't even question it before you swallowed it. Anyone could have tampered with that drink!"

"But Rosmerta..."

"What if she were under an Imperius? Two drops of pure, unrefined aconite in that mug and I'm looking at a dead werewolf. You'd better get in the habit of being just a bit more suspicious about where you are, who's around you, and what you're eating or drinking. Constant vigilance, boy."

He had to concede Moody had a point--albeit a completely paranoid one. Thinking quickly, he cast a revealing charm on the mug. The liquid within glowed green for a second then turned back to its original color.

Moody grunted with satisfaction. "Next time, just ask for an unopened bottle," he suggested. "You might be in a Muggle pub or something, and you might not be able to cast that charm."

"Why would I be in a Muggle pub?" Remus asked, puzzled. "And honestly, why would anyone want to poison me anyhow? It's not like I'm some kind of threat to anyone."

"Just on full moon nights, eh, lad?" Moody's laugh was loud and abrasive, and it grated on Remus's nerves. The Auror seemed to notice that right away. "Don't like jokes like that, do you?"

"Well, sometimes it doesn't bother me," Remus admitted. The corner of his mouth tipped up. "I know lots of werewolf jokes--good ones. It's just easier to make jokes about it with people I know well."

Moody nodded. "Understandable." He sat back and regarded the younger wizard until Remus felt like squirming. "Why did you come in for the Auror testing?" he suddenly asked bluntly.

"I got the letter," Remus said simply.

"Oh, come off it, Lupin. You know as well as I do that letter should have never been sent to you. Why did you come in?"

Remus sighed. "You want me to say it?" Moody just sat there waiting. Obviously, he did want Remus to say it. "Desperation."

Moody considered him for another moment then nodded. "It's hard for a werewolf to find a job."

"You have no idea," mumbled the younger man.

"I do, because sometimes I have to go after men such as yourself who insist on breaking laws and the Werewolf Code in order to make ends meet. Did you ever stop to think that, if you had become an Auror, you'd have to track down others of your own kind?"

Remus's eyes narrowed. "Do you realize that every time you go after someone who isn't a Dark creature, you're going after another of your own kind?"

Moody stared at him for a moment before suddenly breaking into laughter. It wasn't the harsh, grating kind of before. This was something much friendlier. "Good! Very good! Wasn't expecting that!"

Rosmerta came over and plunked down two bowls of stew. Moody eyed his up carefully then looked at Remus. With a sigh, the younger wizard cast the revealing spell on both plates. Moody nodded curtly and tucked in. Remus was just as eager to start eating. He hadn't realized how hungry he was until now.

"Why did you want to be an Auror?" Moody asked. It had the sound of a casual question, but the feel of something much bigger.

Remus hesitated then tried the careless, not-completely-truthful approach. "The Aurors were the only ones who offered me the chance for a job."

"Do you ever give straight answers the first time?" Moody growled. "I'm asking you a question, boy. Did you want to be an Auror for the glory? The excitement? What?"

Obviously truth was what was expected--nay, demanded. "Who doesn't dream of being an Auror?" Remus smiled lopsidedly. "Besides Dark wizards, that is." He saw Moody fight a grin. "It was something I'd always wanted to do. Maybe a bit for the excitement, but also because it would mean that maybe I could make a difference. This all sounds so unbelievably quixotic. I guess I thought I could balance out the Darkness in myself by helping to catch those who rely on the Dark Arts to prey on the weak and helpless. There. Is that hopelessly idealistic and stupid enough for you?"

"Could be." Moody suddenly turned and yelled for Rosmerta to bring them some bread.

Disconcerted, Remus dropped his gaze to his plate and gave his attention to the pieces of beef and vegetables. He had only taken a bite or two when Moody said something that made him stop and stare at the other man with confusion. "You talked to my father? When?"

"Last night." The Auror took another bite of stew. "I stopped by last night. Wanted to make sure you were going to pull through."

Remus took a quick drink of his butterbeer. "What did my father say?"

Moody cocked an eyebrow at him. "What do you think? He was bloody put out that you'd do such a damned foolish thing as to try for the Aurors."

The younger man exhaled heavily. "Yes, he let me know that in no uncertain terms."

Rosmerta came over and placed a plate of several slices of warm bread on the table between the two men. Moody waited until the woman had gone on before testing it with his wand for the presence of anything unusual. When he had determined it was safe, he picked up a slice of bread and buttered it, watching Remus push his stew around listlessly for a moment. "He was proud of you, though."

Remus tilted his head to the side, his eyes narrowing slightly. "That's not the impression I got."

"Let me ask you another question. How do you feel about the Death Eaters?"

Remus gave up eating. He pushed the plate aside and wrapped his fingers around the mug. "I don't think much of them, and I don't think they'd think much of me. My blood is a tad on the muddy side; it's not anywhere near the blueblood status they require. It's also a lot--Darker--than most of them would like. Abnormally so."

"Rumors are that Voldemort's looking for werewolves, vampires, hags, giants--almost anybody. He's promising them equality in the wizarding world in return for helping him win."

The young werewolf stared at him in shock. "That can't happen. He can't change the minds of the wizarding world. Even if he did win, there are still prejudices that he can't fight." He snorted with contempt. "I doubt he'd try to fight it. He'll promise anything to win."

Moody mopped up some of the gravy with the bread. "There are several that seem to think he's going to deliver on his promises." He watched Remus closely. "Including Fenrir Greyback."

Perhaps it was a bit nasty to do to the lad, especially considering how sick the boy had been the day before, but it was interesting to watch how quickly the boy recovered from his shock.

"Fenrir Greyback doesn't want equality. He wants more people to be like him," Remus said harshly. "Children especially. Bastard."

"There are meetings taking place almost every week in one part of Great Britain or another," Moody told him. "Greyback's recruiting."

"No." It was said so softly that Moody was able to ignore it. He had to ignore it, because he needed to push past the raw emotion he was seeing. He had to shove Remus through it as well. The young man across from him was very good at hiding things--hadn't he demonstrated that this past week? And yet, the mention of Greyback had shredded Remus's composure completely. He could be of no use to them if he couldn't control it.

"Do you talk to any other werewolves?" Moody asked.

"No. Not really."

"So you wouldn't know if any of them had been approached by Greyback or Voldemort?"

"No."

"Have you been approached?" The Auror's question brought an immediate response from Remus.

"NO!" The force of his denial made a few people in the place look over at them.

"Control yourself, Lupin."

"Sorry." Remus reached for his plate of food, and the Auror saw the walls slam up, leaving the young man with his usual neutral expression.

Moody nodded to himself. He could train the lad. All he needed to do now was to see if the boy wanted to be trained to do what he had in mind. "So, what are your plans?"

Remus looked up, quickly swallowing a mouthful of food. "What do you mean? Today? This week? For my life? What?"

"Do you have any potential jobs lined up?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "I have some applications and résumés, out, yes, but considering how well things are going, I doubt any of them will come through."

Moody took another bite of stew, and again watched Remus with such intensity that the younger man was uncomfortable. What did the man want?

As if he could sense the unspoken question, the Auror asked, "What would you say if I told you I could offer you a job?"

Remus froze. The spoon was a mere three inches in front of his face, but he didn't see it. "What kind of job?" he asked cautiously.

"Something--interesting. Unusual. And highly confidential."

"Sounds interesting and unusual."

Moody chuckled. "It's something that you are uniquely qualified for."

One corner of Remus's lips quirked upwards. "All right, I'm intrigued. What is it?"

Moody gestured to the bowl in front of his companion. "Finish that so we can take a little walk." He smiled, which was a frightening thing to behold. "And while we do, you can tell me what you know about the phoenix."