Desperation, Daring, and Danger

A/N: Where would I be without my beta-extraordinaire, Dreamer, who has to be the world's best Brit-picker? Thank you! And to SortingHat47--thank you for being a Good Thing!

******

Dawn on the third of July was as beautiful a morning as Remus could ever remember. He stood in the kitchen window of Sirius's flat, glass of juice in hand, watching the sky and then London slowly come to life.

"I suppose this is as good a day as any to get sentenced to Azkaban," he muttered.

"What was that?" Sirius asked, all but skipping into the room.

"Nothing."

"Gods, Moony, are you still moping about this?"

"I'm not moping."

"It's going to be fine."

"You're not the one going to Azkaban if it doesn't."

"Would you stop mumbling? I'd like to hear what curses you're throwing at me." Sirius

stood with the charmed icebox door open, staring at the contents.

"That cooling charm is going to run out if you keep the door open any longer," Remus pointed out.

"Yes, mum." Sirius grabbed the pitcher of juice and shut the door.

"I made some toast." Remus watched his friend out of the corner of his eye. Wait for it, wait for it...

Sirius looked around the small room, "Where--?"

"But I ate it all."

The other young man turned slowly to look at him. "You're an infuriating bastard."

"So you've said." He allowed himself to smile.

Sirius shook his head and set to making some breakfast for himself. "Did you tell your parents what we're doing today?"

Remus inhaled deeply. "I told them what you and James are doing. I lied through my teeth about what I'm doing."

"What did you tell them?"

"I told them I was going to see about a job at a bookstore in Blackpool."

"Blackpool? Why in Merlin's name did you pick Blackpool?"

Remus shrugged. "Why not Blackpool?"

There was a flutter of wings, and Remus pounded at the slightly warped window frame until the window was open just enough to allow the owl to duck inside. It shot a look of disgust at either Remus or the window--he wasn't sure which--and settled on the back of one of the two kitchen chairs.

Sirius went over to it and glanced at the envelope held in the owl's beak. "That's got your name on it, Moony."

"How'd they know--?" Remus stroked the bird's feathery head lightly and took the letter. He glanced at the seal on the back and sighed. "Oh. Hey, Padfoot." He glanced over at his friend. "You don't mind if I gave your address as mine for an application or two, do you?"

Sirius had grabbed a box of cereal and was digging into the box with a spoon. "No, why should I care? You're here more than at your parents' anyhow."

Remus was too busy opening the letter to answer.

Sirius tossed the bird a piece of cereal which it ignored. "Picky, are you?" The handsome boy opened a cabinet and started rummaging through it. "Hey, Moony, where are the owl treats?"

"Second shelf," his friend replied absently.

"Aha!" Sirius fished one out and handed it to the owl, which hooted its thanks. It looked expectantly at Remus.

It took a moment before the werewolf realized he was being stared at. "Oh, there's no reply," he said. "Thank you, though."

The owl shook itself all over, ruffling its feathers, and then took off. Remus again hammered at the wooden window frame until it closed.

"Who's the letter from?"

Remus hesitated then tossed the letter on the table.

Sirius scooped it up and read through it quickly. "Gods, I'm sorry, Moony." He put the letter back in the envelope and tossed it on the table. "I didn't know you applied at that school."

"You don't know half of where I've applied," Remus said quietly, turning back to the window.

"How many--er--letters like this--"

"Rejection letters? Nine. In the one week since we've been out of school, I've received nine 'thank you, but we don't need a werewolf' letters."

"Nine?" Sirius was personally aware of four. Lily had mentioned two others, and James thought there may have been one more, but he wasn't certain.

"It's a good thing these tests start today," Remus mused. "I'm getting desperate enough to hope I have a chance."

*******

James came to the flat, and the three of them walked the few blocks to the Ministry. They could have used the Floo, but it was a beautiful morning, and the three young men wanted the extra time to speculate, discuss, and prepare themselves for the day ahead. Sirius practically bounced the whole way to the Ministry. James chattered endlessly. Remus kept his hands deep in his pockets and his head down, lost in thought.

All too soon--well, maybe not soon enough for Sirius--they were standing at the red phone booth that was the visitor's entrance to the Ministry.

"Here we go, lads," breathed James.

"I think I'm going to be sick," murmured Sirius, suddenly looking as if he just might.

"You bloody got me into this," Remus said sharply. "You're going in there, even if I have to drag you in by your furry ears."

Sirius looked at James and jerked a thumb in their friend's direction. "Do you hear how mean he is to me? Remember the whole stabbing-with-a-fork incident? I'm telling you, he needs rabies shots."

Remus grabbed him by the arm and pulled him over to the phone booth. "Let's go before we're late."

They crammed into the phone booth with quite a bit of cursing and laughter. James managed to press the required buttons, and they listened as the disembodied voice greeted them and asked them their business.

Sirius gazed around at his friends, grinned broadly and said, "James Potter, Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin for Auror aptitude testing."

"Thank you." There was a pause and a click, and three badges appeared. Remus eyed his with confusion.

"What is it?" Sirius asked, noticing the werewolf's puzzled look.

"No werewolf I.D. number," Remus replied. He held it up for his friends' inspection. "Should I tell--?"

"No!" James and Sirius almost shouted it.

"It's not your fault," James said. "Just say you didn't realize the number wasn't on there."

"Lie through your sharp, pointy teeth," Sirius agreed.

Remus's heart was hammering as he struggled to pin the thing to his robes. He didn't want to think about how many rules and laws he would be breaking today. Azkaban felt closer than it ever had.

*******

There were twenty young men and women reporting for the aptitude tests. Several of them were known by the Marauders as former Hogwarts students. It was enjoyable, seeing and talking to people they hadn't seen in at least a year or two, and Remus felt himself starting to relax a bit. Any ease he and the others found was lost, however, when an Auror announced that they'd be given a written potions exam while they were either waiting for or had finished a psychological evaluation. And so it began.

Remus found it amusing--hilarious, actually--that the wizard in charge of his psychological profile asked him repeatedly if he felt he was ruthless enough to be an Auror.

Sirius found it laughable that the woman he had talked to worried that he was too intense.

Still, by lunch time, all three had passed their psychological profiles, had taken the written test on potions (which Remus had his fingers crossed about), and had heard at least four speeches about the Aurors, their history, and their mission. Two of the twenty had been sent home: one for cheating, the other for breaking down in the middle of the psychological evaluation.

*******

The afternoon was for a practical demonstration of transfiguration. Only one room was available, so times had to be staggered to accommodate the eighteen remaining candidates. Sirius and Remus were scheduled for the second group, James for the third. Seeing that they had two hours before the second group was tested, the three young men went to lunch at a small pub near the Ministry.

"I'm exhausted from that evaluation this morning. That woman was an utter dragon," Sirius said, after chugging half of a butterbeer.

"I thought she was quite nice," James commented. "Of course, she didn't accuse me of joining the Aurors to imprison my dysfunctional family."

Remus was silent, intent on devouring his hamburger.

"When they were accusing you of not being vicious enough, did you tell them you stabbed me with a fork?" Sirius asked.

The werewolf smirked at his friend. "Of course I did. But then I told them why, and they said that wasn't viciousness: it was self-defense."

They laughed.

*******

The transfiguration demonstrations went well for all three of them. Sirius received extra credit during one exercise in which each person was given three objects and told to transfigure them into items that could be used to capture a Dark wizard.

Sirius turned a book into an invitation to a formal affair for pure-blood wizards. A Shiitake mushroom became a doorknob. When the puzzled Auror examiner put his hand on the doorknob, a stick of gum--transfigured into a sort of stringy, sticky rope--shot out of the doorknob and wrapped itself around him.

"Clever!" a raspy voice said from the rear of the room.

They all turned to see a stocky, extremely scarred man standing in the back of the room. He began to walk to the front of the room, and they heard a clunking noise with every other step that told them that he had an artificial leg, though you'd never be able to tell it by the way he moved.

"Black, there, is the only one who remembered that you can lure a Dark wizard into a trap. You'd do well to remember that a lot of Dark wizards and those bloody Death Eaters are pure-bloods, and obsessed about it. An invitation like this," he picked up the transfigured book, "is something they'd never be able to pass up. Smart boy. I'm going to keep my eye on you." The beady, dark eyes glittered beneath bushy eyebrows, and Sirius suddenly wasn't sure if the Auror meant it to be a compliment or a threat.

When the testing was over for the day, he approached one of the Aurors and asked her about the strange man.

"Oh, that's Alastor Moody. He's the best we've got. A bit of a legend; he's been here more than twenty years. 'Course, in our job, we're lucky to get five years in. You've impressed him, and he's not easy to impress."

Sirius was nearly impossible to live with that night.

*******

The three Marauders decided to walk to the Ministry again the next morning.

"Why break with tradition?" Sirius asked.

"I think something has to happen more than one time to be considered tradition, Padfoot," Remus said, yawning. Sirius had kept him up late, babbling about Moody.

They squeezed into the telephone booth and received their badges. Remus's again did not have his Werewolf Registry I.D. number on it. He shook his head over it, but didn't say anything.

That morning began with a written general knowledge exam, which James and Remus found easy, and Sirius declared was insulting to his intelligence. They returned to the same pub for lunch, this time with three other Auror candidates. They filled the pub with laughter and a tumultuous racket that made the pub owner shake his head and several of his other customers leave quickly.

A practical defense session was scheduled for that afternoon for the now fifteen remaining Auror-hopefuls. It pitted one team of three Aurors against one team of five candidates. The entire first floor of the Ministry, containing three large meeting rooms, several smaller offices, and four broom closets, was their battleground. The object was to stun or incapacitate as many members of the other team as possible within a one-hour period.

Sirius, Remus, and James all ended up in separate groups. Sirius and James quickly emerged as leaders, directing their fellow candidates in the pseudo-battle. Both teams stunned two Aurors, but lost all five members. James sacrificed himself in an amazing gymnastic feat that gained his last two teammates time to stun the second Auror. It also earned Moody's approval: "Some day, all of you may have to sacrifice yourselves for the good of your teams--are you all ready for that?"

Remus, however, was the one who received the most attention from Moody that afternoon. A pompous young man, impressed by his own importance, appointed himself the leader of Remus's group. His plans were, at best, pitiful. Remus gently, but firmly, pointed out holes in the plans, forcing Richardson to rethink and rely on his fellow teammates for ideas and support. Remus acted as a scout, trying not to rely completely on his werewolf-enhanced senses to tell him where the Aurors were. He couldn't risk letting them see or even suspect that his reflexes were anything more than human. He stunned one of the Aurors, and put a full body-bind on a second. He and one other teammate, a blonde girl with amazing quantities of freckles, were the only two that managed to survive the entire hour.

"I haven't seen anyone as quick with a Stunner in some time," Moody said, slapping Remus on the back. "Amazing reflexes, boy. Almost inhuman! Your speed, Black's brains, Potter's leadership--we have Aurors in the making here!"

It was his turn to be impossible to live with that night. Not because he was flattered by Moody's attention, but because he had captured it in the first place.

*******

"Everything has been going perfectly," Sirius announced Wednesday morning. "We're practically Auror trainees, Moony!"

Remus said nothing.

"Would you stop worrying about yesterday? I'm telling you, no one noticed anything unusual. Yes, you were quick, but you weren't so much quicker than anyone else that it would raise any kind of alarms. It will be fine!"

"I wish I had your confidence."

"You can. You do. Just repeat after me: 'It will be fine. It will be fine.'"

Remus smiled lopsidedly and echoed, "It will be fine."

"Don't you feel better already?"

The smile faded. "No, not really."

*******

Potion-making took up the morning, and Remus was pleasantly surprised at how well he did. Still, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was going to go wrong at any moment.

Lunch was in the same pub, and their crowd had grown to ten, including the freckle-faced blonde who had been in Remus's group during the defense exercise. She sat next to Remus and spoke quietly to him about her life in Ireland. It seemed very restful to him, though to her, it was the most boring backwater in history. Sirius kept giving him encouraging grins when the girl wasn't looking. James kept elbowing him whenever she made a remark that was the slightest bit flirtatious.

"Gods, Moony! Look at all that's happening--a job and a girl all within two weeks of leaving Hogwarts!" Sirius said happily as they walked back to the Ministry. The girl--Siobhan--was slightly ahead of them, chatting with the other two girls who had joined them.

"Don't jinx it, Padfoot."

"Jinx it? How can I jinx it?" One of the girls was glancing back at Sirius with an unmistakable glint in her eye, so he almost missed Remus's reply.

"I can think of at least sixty ways without even breaking a sweat."

*******

Moody made the announcement that afternoon. "We're letting you out early today because we've got a special session for tonight. We're not giving you details yet. What we need from you is where you will be at eleven o'clock tonight. And, I'm warning you, you'd better be exactly where you say you'll be. You'll get your instructions then."

Two Aurors moved among them, jotting down names and places. Remus and James both gave Sirius's address as where they'd be.

"Have you told your parents about all this yet?" James asked as the three of them strolled back to Sirius's flat.

"Of course I haven't. I doubt they'd approve," Sirius said, winking brazenly at a beautiful girl walking past them.

"I wasn't talking to you, you prat..."

"No. I didn't tell them. And I'm not telling them. There are still so many ways this can go wrong," Remus said.

"You're such a bloody pessimist," complained Sirius.

"No, I'm a bloody realist," Remus countered.

*******

At a little before eleven o'clock, someone knocked on the door.

"Suppose we should try to surprise them? Ambush them or something?" James asked.

Sirius's face brightened at the thought.

Remus shook his head. "Let's just get this over with."

Before they could discuss it any more, the door burst open with a bang, and five people dressed in Auror robes pushed their way into the room.

"Here are your instructions," said one wizard, who they knew as a potions expert. "We're going to take you to a secure place. You'll be left--alone--with nothing, and that includes your wand. Your task is to collect at least three of these tags," he held up a small rectangular piece of material, "without being caught. You will have until dawn to get the tags. If you are caught before you get all three tags or you don't get them by the time dawn comes, you will have failed the exercise."

"What happens if we fail?" Sirius asked.

The Auror shrugged. "You'll find out."

"How secure is this place?" James wanted to know, nervousness making his voice crack.

"There's nothing there to harm you," said another Auror.

"Except us," quipped a third.

The Aurors laughed. The three Marauders did not.

Suddenly, wands were leveled in their direction, and the last thing they heard was, "Stupefy!"

*******

Remus awoke, tingling all over, which told him he had been Rennervated. His shoulder was achy from being stunned, but other than that, he was unharmed. He automatically reached for his wand, remembering just a little too late, that the Aurors said he wouldn't have it for this exercise. Well, it wasn't the first time he had awakened in the woods without a wand. And then realization set in. He was in the woods. But what woods? They said nothing could hurt him, right? Except for the Aurors. And they knew where he was. So, first thing being first, he had to move away from where they had dropped him. If they came back and he was sitting there, the game would be over before it began. Besides, he had to go track down three of those tags.

He rose a little unsteadily to his feet and looked around. Which direction? If I were one of those stupid tags, where would I be?

I'd be at home reading a book and drinking a butterbeer.

Note: sarcasm does not help the situation.

He looked around, trying to get his bearings. It was fully dark now, and the new moon was going to be of absolutely no help to him. Of course, that meant it wouldn't be of help to the Aurors, either. But they have wands...

So, which way to go? The sound of a cracking twig came from his left, and he instantly flattened himself against a tree. Instinctively, he inhaled deeply. Definitely human--he could smell the faintest traces of soap and sweat mixed with--fear? It was definitely one of the candidates, Remus thought. The Aurors would have no reason to be fearful. The person was coming nearer, and now he could see the faint outline of a head covered with blonde hair, and a feminine outline...

He stepped away from the tree, deliberately stepping on a stick so that it cracked. The girl gasped. "Who's there?"

"It's Remus, Siobhan."

"Remus?" She stumbled over and threw her arms around him. "I am so glad to see you!"

"Have you seen anyone else?" he asked. "Or found any tags yet?"

She shook her head. "I thought I heard someone talking, but I was afraid to go see who it was. And as far as those stupid tags..." She mumbled something obscene.

He chuckled and started to pull away from her, but she grabbed his arm and held onto it tightly. Well, things could be a hell of a lot worse, he thought, with a smug smile. "Let's go find some tags, shall we?"

*******

Sirius had been staring at the tag for several minutes now. It fluttered cheerfully, taunting him, from the top of a meter-tall stick set into the ground. A charm of some sort illuminated the tag and the surrounding area, which made Sirius hesitant about just rushing in to get it. He hadn't heard anything in the past five minutes, but he wouldn't be surprised if an Auror was lying in wait somewhere nearby. He had tried Accio, but it hadn't worked. He hadn't really thought it would.

I just can't sit here all night staring at the damned thing.

So, he had to take action. He decided to scout around the perimeter of the light-suffused area. Should I...? He grinned broadly. Of course he should. An Auror should use whatever resources he had at hand--or paw. Right? Of course, right.

A moment later, a large black dog trotted jauntily between the trees.

*******

James stopped and listened carefully. Had there been something moving, just beyond that rock...? Suddenly there was the scrape of something against rock, and he threw himself behind a tree just as someone yelled, "Impedimenta!" The tree splintered, and James felt a sliver drive itself into his cheek.

He threw himself down to the ground, and behind another rock.

Behind him, the Auror yelled, "I've got one here!" and sent off another Impedimenta at him. He huddled in a ball, glancing around for a better hiding spot.

And then he saw it: a tag. It was attached to a rock less than a dragon-length away--and a small dragon, at that. His hand went to his back pocket, where two other tags already resided. If he could get this last one, the game would be over for him. But how could he get it?

He risked a quick look over the side of the rock. There were two Aurors now; or at least, that's all he could see. And there was that stupid bloody tag. It was laughing at him, he would swear to it.

I would kill for a broom right now.

*******

Anyone else would have thought it was a leaf. There was a subtle difference in the sound though, that made Remus look up. A tag, charmed to glow weakly, fluttered in a branch over their heads. He knew it would be just beyond his fingertips.

"What's wrong?" Siobhan whispered, coming to a stop right behind him.

He pointed.

The Irish girl looked around. "How do we get it down? Can you reach it?"

Remus shook his head. "I'm thinking this one's unguarded. They probably wouldn't have thought anyone would find this one."

So far, they each had two of the red ribbons, and they had discovered the simple fact that, if a tag was overtly displayed, if was defended by a trap or an Auror. The ones that were the most difficult to see hadn't been defended. So far.

Remus eyed the tag and then looked at Siobhan. "Ready for your third tag?"

"You found it," she protested.

He smiled. "But you're going to have to actually get it. Ready?"

"What are...?"

"I'll lift you up." And before she could think about it, he bent down and grabbed her legs. "Here goes," he said in warning before he picked her up off the ground. "Thank God you don't weigh as much as my friend, Peter," he said, almost instantly contrite that he had said something disparaging about Wormtail.

"Remus, I can't--back up--yes!" The triumphant tone in her voice told him what he needed to know, and he gingerly lowered her to the ground.

As he straightened, she caught his face gently between her hands and kissed him. "Thank you," she whispered.

"No problem," he replied breathlessly. I love those stupid tags.

*******

Sirius had discovered an Auror at the illuminated post, and had lured the woman away, just avoiding a Stupefy and a leg-locking curse. He managed to slip back to the post and steal the ribbon while she tore apart a briar patch looking for him. That's two! He slipped deeper into the woods, every sense alive with exultation and joy.

*******

James had managed to get behind a larger rock, but he could hear the two Aurors moving through the trees, attempting to flank him on either side. Straight ahead of him was the tag. Could he make it?

By the sound of lively and quite nasty swearing, one of the Aurors was tangled in some branches or vines and was unable to go in any further. This could be my only chance...Shut up and go! James sprang over the rock, and headed for the tag, bobbing and weaving as he went, narrowly avoiding at least two curses and a jinx. He made a great leap, his fingers snagging the edge of the tag, and ripping it off the rock...

His shoulder smashed into the rock, but he didn't notice the pain. All he could feel was the smooth material between his fingers. "Three!" he yelled. He leapt to his feet and reached for the other two ribbons in his back pocket. "I've got three!"

*******

Sirius stopped to get a drink from a stream. It was quite possibly the best water he'd ever tasted in his life. As he started to rise, something caught his attention: A grindylow. But it was still, tightly gripping the rocks beside itself as if defending something. Could it be? Yes! A tag lay at the bottom of the stream, held in place by a small stone.

Where in the hell is Remus when you need him? He likes to play with these things.

He glanced up at the sky. There was just the slightest hint of color in the east. He had to hurry.

*******

Siobhan had decided to stay with Remus until he got his third tag. She reasoned that it was only fair: he had helped her get her ribbons, and if he needed her to be a decoy, she could be. It was she who noticed the light dancing among the trees to their right.

"Hinkypunk," Remus said quietly.

"Should we follow it?" she asked.

He debated it. It could be there because there was a bog nearby. But the Aurors had said there was nothing to hurt them in this area. A hinkypunk was very definitely a Dark Creature, however. Could it have been placed there deliberately to protect one of the red tags?

"Couldn't hurt to see where it goes," he said with a shrug.

They followed the creature, looking carefully from side to side for one of the ribbons.

"There!" Remus suddenly grabbed Siobhan's arm, stopping her. He pointed to a huge rock in the middle of a wide expanse of reeds and grass. The tag was pinned down on top of it by another rock. The hinkypunk had stopped and was looking at them with annoyance.

"Let's go!" said Siobhan. She took one step and then cried out as her foot slipped beneath the solid-seeming ground. Remus pulled her back, grimacing at the muck that covered her foot.

"Definitely a bog," Remus muttered under his breath. "Definitely a trap."

"So, how do we get it?" Siobhan asked, scraping her foot on a clump of weeds.

The hinkypunk seemed to gloat by hopping back and forth from one patch of grass to another. It held up its light and beckoned to them.

Remus shook his head. He knew better than to follow the creature.

There was a noise suddenly to their left, and they froze. It was too close for them to have time to hide... Then a familiar scent reached Remus's nose, and he started to relax even before the newcomer spoke.

"You know, if this is what we have to do just to get into the Auror program, I'm beginning to dread what we'll have to do to become full-fledged Aurors," commented Sirius, emerging from the trees.

"It hasn't been so bad," Remus contradicted.

"Where were you half an hour ago then? I had to fight a grindylow for my last tag."

"We've been following that," Siobhan said, pointing to the hinkypunk.

"Got your three, then, do you?" Remus asked, turning his attention back to the rock.

"Yeah. How about you?"

"Siobhan has hers. I need one more."

"I wouldn't have my three if it weren't for Remus," Siobhan told him, casting an obviously adoring glance at the young man standing beside her.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "It's getting late. If you're going to get the thing, you'd better get it."

"And how do you suggest I do that?" Remus glanced up at the sky, seeing the decidedly pink tinge to the gray.

"Follow the hinkypunk," Sirius said.

"You are out of your mind."

"No, listen. It wants to lead you into the deep muck, right? Well, it has to take you along a solid path for a while to lead you deeper into the bog. I say, follow it, but make sure you check each spot before you step. It should lead you close enough to get to the rock."

Suddenly, Remus laughed. "I'm an idiot."

"Finally realized that, did you?" Sirius said, with a raised eyebrow.

Remus deliberately took a step back, smile firmly in place. He looked at the rock, spun around, and then Disapparated with a faint pop. Instantly, there was a sharp crack and he reappeared--on top of the rock. He raised his hands and tilted his head as if waiting for applause.

Sirius and Siobhan obliged.

The third tag was quickly stuffed into his pocket with the other two, and he smiled at the hinkypunk, which was shaking its fist at him.

Suddenly, there was a sharp crack behind him. "Time's up!"

Remus spun around quickly, and his feet slipped out from beneath him. There was a flash of pain when his head hit the rock, and then darkness...

*******

The Aurors' base camp was a ramshackle shed, barely larger than a Gryffindor dorm room. As the individual candidates finished the challenge, or were brought in by the Auror teams, they were dismissed from the camp, until only the three Marauders, Siobhan, and a handful of Aurors remained.

"Good thing he's got a hard head," Moody commented, looking at Remus, who was slumped against James on a bench nearby. Siobhan was holding a cold, bloody towel in her hand. Sirius was lurking beside them, a dark look on his face.

A woman with a Healer's badge on her Auror robes was kneeling next to Remus, carefully examining the gash on the young man's head. "I've seen worse," she announced. She opened her large dragon-leather Healer's kit and pulled out one vial then another until she found the one she wanted.

"Here. Drink this down," she said, handing it to him. "This will help with the headache that I know you have."

Remus took it and sipped at it. He grimaced and looked doubtfully at the Healer. "Go on, drink it," she insisted. "It's not going to kill you."

While he did, she opened a tube of ointment and squeezed a liberal amount on her fingers. "Now, this might hurt a little, but it will heal almost anything without scarring." For all her warning, however, it seemed as if her touch was gentle, and didn't seem to cause Remus any pain as she rubbed it onto the wound.

"All done," she announced with a smile. She started to repack her bag.

"Why does my tongue feel so numb?" Remus asked.

"Oh, don't worry about that. It goes away in just a little bit. It's just the aconite. And before you panic, yes, pure aconite can be deadly, but this is highly processed, and the little amount that goes into that potion won't hurt anyone."

"Aconite?" Sirius heard the panicky tone to Remus's whisper, and saw James's face go pale. In his mind, he heard Professor Slughorn's sonorous voice: "Aconite, also known as monkshood or wolfsbane..."

Wolfsbane. "Oh, shit," breathed Sirius.

Remus reached out and grabbed James's sleeve with a death grip, but his eyes met Sirius's. "I've got to get out of here."

"I know," Sirius whispered. He pulled Remus to his feet.

"What's going on?" Moody demanded.

The three Marauders froze. Sirius and James struggled to think of some kind of answer that would seem logical, yet get Remus out of here and to--where could they take him? Would St. Mungo's help a poisoned werewolf?

Remus suddenly whimpered loudly.

"What did you give him, MacMillan?" Moody asked.

The Healer looked puzzled. "Nothing that should be causing him any kind of trouble, other than a little numbness, maybe a little tingling..."

"He has a--sensitivity--to aconite," James finally offered. "An allergy."

And then Remus fell to his knees, arms wrapped tightly around his stomach.

Moody watched him with eyes that suddenly grew colder, if possible. "I've seen this before." He glanced from Sirius to James, then back to Remus again. "That boy's a werewolf."

Sirius and James exchanged glances.

"No, James," whispered Sirius. "No. We can't do this to him."

But James's eyes filled with tears. "He'll die right in front of us if we don't." He lifted his chin and looked right into Moody's eyes. "Yes, he's a werewolf."

Siobhan screamed and threw the bloody compress as far away from herself as possible.

.

Remus's face contorted with the pain from the growing fire in his belly.

The Auror stared at the young man at his feet and then turned to the Healer. "You got anything in that bag to empty his stomach? To get that stuff out of him?"

"Of course," she said, "But, if he's a werewolf..."

"Just do it, woman!" roared Moody.

She hurriedly began rummaging through her bag as Remus collapsed onto his side. James knelt, and pulled Remus's head onto his lap, brushing away tendrils of hair already damp with sweat.

Siobhan was sobbing loudly, her face in her hands.

"Someone get her away from here!" Moody ordered.

One of the other Aurors grabbed her and Apparated away without another word. The sudden silence was nearly deafening.

"Get him up," the Healer said to James and Sirius. She had a vial in her hand containing some kind of pink liquid.

They got Remus in a sitting position, leaning back against Sirius, who wrapped his arms around his friend, and kept whispering, "I'm sorry, Remus. I'm sorry."

They were all a bit stunned when he managed to say between clenched teeth. "Not--your--fault."

"If it weren't for me, you wouldn't be here at all," Sirius said.

The Healer forced Remus's jaws apart and emptied the vial into his mouth. "We'll need a bucket," she said. "It's going to be bad."

"Use that," Sirius suggested, pointing to the empty vial. "Transfigure it."

MacMillan had no sooner done that when Remus shuddered and whispered, "Sick..."

Sirius winced at the force of the werewolf's vomiting. James vanished what came up, trying not to notice the blood that was visible.

After a while, Remus sagged against Sirius, his eyes closed, struggling for breath.

"Cold," he muttered.

Sirius gazed up at James, who, in turn, looked at Moody. "Well, do something," the scarred wizard snapped. "Transfigure something! Conjure a warming spell!"

An Auror behind him muttered something, and ten seconds later, a thick woolen blanket was being draped over the sick young man. Sirius tried to move, to allow Remus to lie down, but his breathing seemed even more distressed then.

"Wolfsbane slows the heart beat and the breathing," the Healer said. "It's good for those who have had a bad scare, or have nervous problems. Unfortunately, in larger doses, or in this case, it slows things down until, well, until the lungs just stop working."

"Nice--to--know," Remus said, taking several seconds to say so.

James took off his glasses and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. "Should we take him to St. Mungo's? Would they be able to help?"

MacMillan hesitated and then laid her hand on Remus's shoulder. "Remus? We could take you to St. Mungo's, if you'd like. But they probably won't help you any more than I already have. Do you understand?"

James saw the furrows in his friend's face deepen, but he nodded again.

"Do you want to go there? Or do you want to go home?"

Remus's eyes shot open; his dismay was obvious to all of them. "Not home," he whispered.

"We'll take him to my flat," Sirius decided, his arms tightening around Remus. "We can take care of him there. Until you're better, Moony, you can stay with me, all right?"

Remus nodded.

Side-Along Apparition was something that Sirius had never tried before, so he made jokes about it as he pulled Remus to his feet. "I'll splinch us together, Moony--which would be better? My looks and your personality? Or your looks and my personality?"

"God help me either way," James muttered.

*******

They Apparated straight to Sirius's flat, and within minutes had Remus settled in bed, propped up by pillows. Against the white sheets, they could see the pale gray tone of his skin, which alarmed them more than they had been before. Occasionally, he'd whimper and bite his lip, not having the strength to do much more than that. His breathing was harsh in the stillness, and Sirius found himself talking far too much to cover the sound.

Moody had insisted MacMillan go with them. She left them almost right away, saying that she was going to try to find an antidote. She also added, "I think his parents should be notified. If this turns out to be fatal, they will no doubt want to see him before--you know."

Sirius turned and walked away from them. He couldn't think--he didn't want--this couldn't be happening.

Behind him, James was asking, "How much longer does he have? If it's going to be--" There was an audible gulp, "--fatal?"

"Four hours, maybe, at the most? It's all a guess. I've never had a werewolf as a patient. I can only base this on what I know about fresh aconite poisoning in a normal human being."

"Shit," whispered Sirius, feeling hot tears in his eyes. He went into the kitchen and pulled a bottle of Ogden's Old Firewhiskey and a glass out of the cabinet. With trembling hands, he poured an inch of the liquor and swallowed it in one gulp. James came in a moment later.

"Drinking isn't going to help things," he said gently.

"No," Sirius agreed.

James went to cabinet and got a glass for himself. "Should we call his parents?"

Sirius poured some whiskey into both glasses while he considered it. "Mr. Lupin wouldn't be so bad, but, oh Merlin, James...His mum? Here? With Moony d--" he couldn't bring himself to say the word.

"The Healer's right, though. They might want to see him before--"

Sirius knocked back the rest of the whiskey and then slammed the glass down on the table. "He's not going to die. I don't care what I have to do. He's not going to die," he said ferociously. But suddenly, his knees gave out, and he slumped to the floor. "Oh, Gods, James, what will we do without him?"

"We're not going to do without him," James said, kneeling next to Sirius and putting one arm around his shoulders. "We're going to go in there and pull him through this, all right? Don't be so bloody pessimistic."

Sirius consciously echoed Remus's words from before, hating the irony, "I'm a bloody realist."

*******

Sirius and James took turns sitting beside the bed, talking and reading to Remus. They took turns because they couldn't be in the same room without joking because of the stress, which only made Remus want to laugh, even through the pain. It set him coughing and fighting for every breath.

"Should we call your mum and dad, Remus?" James asked.

Remus winced.

"They'll be mad at us if they know you're--sick--and we haven't called them," the bespectacled wizard pointed out gently.

"Not--yet," the werewolf finally whispered. "It's--peaceful--now. Just--read to me," he decided.

Sirius and James exchanged glances.

"Read to you?" Sirius asked. "That miserable book about magical creatures in Albania?"

"Want--to see--how it--turns out--before I--die," Remus gasped laboriously.

Sirius stared at him for a long moment and then stormed out of the room.

After a while, though, he returned, quietly, calmly, but with blood-shot eyes. Whatever demons he had fought seemed to have been subdued, at least for a time. He brought the book with him.

And before they knew it, an hour of Remus's life was gone.

*******

Sirius was in the middle of a sentence when Remus suddenly drew a ragged breath and held it. The sudden silence shot spikes of fear all through the dark-haired wizard.

"Moony?" he asked tentatively.

"Hurts."

"Where?"

"Everywhere." And suddenly, he was rolling on his side, retching, though the Healer's emetic had already emptied his stomach.

Sirius screamed for James. After what seemed like forever, Remus groaned and leaned his head back. A quick spell cleaned up what little bit of bile had come up.

"Gods, Moony," James said, laying his hand on his friend's forehead. "You're freezing."

Sirius ran for another blanket, the one that Remus had been using on the couch while he had been staying at the flat. He was on his way back to the room when James yelled something that he couldn't understand. He charged the last few steps into the room, and stopped dead.

Remus was thrashing about uncontrollably.

*******

They waited for another half an hour, during which Remus had another convulsion, and seemed confused about why they were in a flat in London, and not at Hogwarts.

"We have to call his parents," James said, when Remus was quiet again.

Sirius nodded miserably.

"And Peter."

"If you're going to have Wormtail here, call Lily." Anguish and grief made Sirius's voice harsh when he added, "If we're on a death watch, everyone who loves him should be here."

*******

James had just Disapparated away to find Mr. Lupin when Sirius heard someone knock on the door. He went to answer it quickly, wondering who it could be. After all, Lily was in the bedroom with Remus, helping him through an occasional bout with dry heaves, while Peter waited to run for anything that might be needed.

The Healer, MacMillan, was on the other side of the door. "I brought something," she said, pushing her way past Sirius and heading straight for the bedroom. "It's what they use at St. Mungo's, if they've a mind to try to heal someone with aconite poisoning. It's not really an antidote; it's a stimulant. It only counteracts the depressive affect it's having on his body. It may not even work, but it's all I have for now."

Lily suddenly screamed, and they dashed in to see Remus in the throes of another convulsion.

"Get him on his side," the Healer commanded. "Has this happened before?"

"Two--no, three times," Sirius answered.

MacMillan looked at her watch. "It shouldn't be long before we know."

"Before we know what?" asked Peter.

Lily gave him a disgusted look.

Awareness sank in. "Oh."

Sirius retreated to the doorway, closing his eyes at the sound of Remus's struggles to breathe. No, it won't be long now...

Before he could scream at himself to shut up, James was behind him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "His dad's coming. He says he wants to see how bad things are before he calls his mum."

"Thank Merlin for that," Sirius muttered.

"What's MacMillan doing here?" James asked, so quietly that only Sirius could hear.

"She says she's found something. It may not work."

Several minutes later, a familiar voice called to them. "Boys?"

"In here, Mr. Lupin," Sirius said.

Remus opened his eyes, startled.

Sirius and James stepped aside to let the older man enter the room, brushing soot from the Floo from his sleeves. He paused for a moment at the doorway, taking in his son's appearance. Remus's confused stare disappeared as the man moved quickly across the room to draw the younger man up into his embrace.

*******

Sirius had gone out into the kitchen to prepare some tea for everyone. James had followed him, and was idly leaning against the counter. The tea kettle had just started to whistle when Remus's dad came into the kitchen.

"Who's going to explain this all to me?" John Lupin asked. He stood with his hands in his pockets, reminding Sirius so much of Remus that he shivered.

"I suppose I'm to blame," he finally said, after glancing at James. "I rather talked him into it."

Mr. Lupin looked up at the ceiling and sighed deeply. "Sirius, no one talks Remus into anything unless he wants to be talked into it. I'm not so blinded by paternal affection that I don't know that about him. Start at the beginning."

And so, by turns and with many interjections, Sirius and James told the man everything that had happened from the time that Sirius had read the article in the Prophet about Auror recruitment.

When they had finished, Mr. Lupin leaned on the back of one of the kitchen chairs and stared at them until they squirmed with discomfort. "He's received nine rejection letters? Already?"

Sirius shrugged. "That's what he said. We," he looked at James for confirmation, "know of seven for sure."

An uncomfortable silence fell, and then Remus's dad straightened. "You aren't to blame, Sirius. No matter what might happen, I don't want you taking this onto your shoulders. Understood?"

"Yes sir."

"We'll talk a little more about this later. I do have more questions. But, for now, I'm going to be with him." But at the door, he stopped and turned back. "He did well this week, then?"

"Of course," Sirius said, almost puzzled.

"If this hadn't happened--" The man stopped, seemingly unable to think of how to finish the sentence.

Or maybe he knows and just didn't want to say it, James thought suddenly. Aloud, he said, "He would have made it. Moody even said he was an Auror in the making."

John Lupin lightly traced the pattern in the woodwork of the doorframe. Then very softly, he said, "I don't know if he's ever told you, but he was bitten because I had antagonized a werewolf named Fenrir Greyback. There have been thousands of times since then that I think about what I said to Greyback, and wonder what I could have said instead. But, it happened. And because of one stupid remark, a young man's life is made a hundred times more difficult before it begins.

"So, Sirius, don't feel guilty about trying to help him achieve his potential. You were helping him accomplish something he's wanted badly for years." His blue eyes bored into Sirius's. "Any guilt for his not being able to achieve his potential is mine to carry. Understood?"

Sirius couldn't speak, so he nodded.

The older man gently pounded the door jamb with his fist, then turned and walked away.

Sirius and James watched him go. "That's what Remus will look like in thirty years," James suddenly said. "I never realized how many of Moony's ways of moving are his father's. He almost made my heart stop just by standing there with his hands in his pockets."

Sirius barked out a chuckle. "I was thinking the same thing."

Lily suddenly burst into the room, a broad smile on her face. "The healer thinks it's working!"

James and Sirius bolted for the bedroom.

Remus's breathing did seem a little less labored, though his brow was still deeply furrowed.

"There's still a long way to go," the Healer said, with a cautious smile. "But I think he's turned a corner."

Sirius touched Remus's leg gently. "Does it still hurt, Moony?"

The werewolf nodded slightly, but didn't open his eyes.

"Do you want me to call your mother?" Mr. Lupin asked quietly.

Remus groaned. "Please Dad, no."

"What am I supposed to tell her about all this?"

"Don't tell."

"You want me to lie to her?"

There was something in the tone that made Remus look up at his father.

"I don't lie as well as you do," Mr. Lupin said.

Remus grimaced.

"If you were worried about finding work, you should have talked to me."

"Mr. Lupin," said James. "With all due respect, I think it might be better to wait until Moo--Remus is feeling better. Then you can yell at him all you want."

The older man looked down at Remus, and they could see the transformation--a softening of his eyes, and easing of tension around his mouth and jaw--that told them more than words how worried he had been about his son. He gently brushed the hair out of the blue eyes so much like his own, and smiled. "You know I will yell at you later, right?"

There was the slightest twitch of a smile.

Mr. Lupin seated himself on the edge of the bed and took his son's hand, and didn't say another word.

*******

Three hours later, Remus's breathing was almost completely back to normal, and his skin tone could definitely be called pale, not the horrible shade it had been before. MacMillan looked rather pleased with herself when she announced that her services were no longer needed.

Mr. Lupin's grin was never wider as when he bent over his son to kiss him on the forehead. "I'm going to leave now, but I'll be back later, all right?"

Remus nodded.

"I may have to bring your mother. I can't--I won't--lie to her. Understood?"

Again his son nodded.

When he was gone, the Healer started to gather her things in order to leave. She handed a small bottle filled with a clear liquid to Lily. "This is the stimulant. Give this to him in four hours. Make sure he drinks it all."

"Notice she doesn't trust you idiots to give it to him," Lily said with a smirk.

"Thank God," Sirius thought he heard Remus mutter.

MacMillan also handed Lily a Strengthening Potion and one for pain. She made sure that Lily knew when and how to administer them, and then said goodbye to Remus.

Once she was gone, James went to the kitchen. Now that Remus was out of danger, he found himself desperately in need of a cup of tea and a snack--and figured that everyone else needed some kind of refreshment as well. He put the kettle on to heat, and then busied himself with setting out some mismatched mugs. Lily came out as he was reaching for the tin of tea bags.

"Are you not capable of making a proper cup of tea?" she asked him.

He shrugged. "It's what Remus bought."

"Remus will eat or drink anything--even whatever Sirius prepares."

"I'll have you know that Sirius can make damned good shepherd's pie."

"Oh, really?" Her skepticism was obvious.

"My mum taught him how. She's worried about how he's going to manage on his own."

"Your mum's shepherd's pie is delicious, but I have the tiniest problem believing that Sirius would pay attention long enough to learn how to do it. Besides, he doesn't follow rules; how can I believe he'd follow a recipe?"

"And yet, he does."

Lily had worked her way across the kitchen and was now standing in front of James. "I have never been as frightened as I have been today."

James wrapped her in his arms, holding her as tightly as he could without her eyes bulging. "I know. Me too." They indulged in a brief--maybe it wasn't too brief--kiss.

"Oh, for the love of--" Sirius came in and threw his hands up in the air. "Moony is at death's door, and all you two can think about is snogging in the kitchen. You do realize the tea kettle is squealing, don't you?"

Lily laughed and pulled away from James. "I'm going to make the tea. You two go back in and help Peter entertain Remus."

*******

Moody leaned forward. "But if the boy lives, I want him. He's got speed and brains, and frankly, I think we can use one of his kind. You know what Voldemort's up to now. If we could get him in to some of those meetings..."

"It would be of great advantage to us, yes," his friend tentatively agreed. "But do you think the others will have a difficult time accepting him, knowing what he is?"

The Auror muttered a curse. "If I can accept him, if I'm willing to take him on, I don't see how anyone else can have any doubts. He'll be my responsibility."

The other man stroked his beard thoughtfully. "Don't you think that will only cause resentment?"

"In the others? Or in him? He'll be hurt if they don't trust him, yes, but he'll understand. I know after a while, after they see what he's capable of, they'll be fine."

"What about his friends?" the other man asked with a glimmer of amusement in his blue eyes. "There are very few secrets between them. If you take him on..." He let the sentence trail off.

"Do you trust them?" Moody asked. "I'd take the two of them. Quick thinkers, those two. Smart. They'd be good for us." He took a drink of wine. "Has that Black boy really cut all ties with his family?"

The slender fingers stopped their gentle stroking. "Yes. There's no question of it. And he was the one who severed the ties; because of Potter's and Lupin's influence mainly."

"I think it's peculiar that a kid from one of the Darker families around could be friends with Lupin, who's a half-blood to begin with, and a werewolf to boot."

"They're all from Gryffindor."

Moody snorted. "That figures. So. Do I get him? Lupin, I mean."

The man leaned forward. "I think it's a wonderful idea. Get me Potter and Black too, while you're at it."

The Auror smiled.

"Oh, there is a fourth boy in their little--'pack,'" the older wizard said, sitting back and contemplating a lemon drop he had taken out of a small, silver dish on his desk. "You might want to consider him, too. He's not quite of the same caliber, but he's got heart, and he's extremely loyal to the other three boys. He could be an asset."

Alastor nodded.

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