Revelations

Revelations

*

"This will be hard," James said, glancing at his two friends.

"Yeah," Sirius admitted. "But it has to be done."

"Right," Peter said, then shivered slightly. "I only hope he won't get mad at us."

"Whatever for?" Sirius asked, puzzled. "We're only going to tell him we know. It's not that big deal. We aren't even doing anything!"

"But maybe he doesn't want anyone to know," Peter argued. "I mean, he'd otherwise told us, right? It's not a thing you can keep a secret if you don't really want to."

"You know, Sirius, Peter might be right," James said. "There are all kinds of prohibitions and laws against werewolves, leave alone prejudices. It's obvious that he's more or less cautious."

"Remember when the fourth years were handling werewolves in DADA?" Peter said. "It was all about how to recognize and kill them!"

Sirius swallowed. "What about if he'd be scared of us?" he suggested. "He might freak out! It's only one day to the next full moon, after all."

"We should manage to deal with that," James said reasonably. "Also if he attacks us. There's three of us, after all. He might be stronger than he looks, but he's not stronger than we combined."

"So it's clear then?" Peter asked. "We will do it tonight?"

"What will you do tonight?" Remus asked from the doorway. He stood there with a book in his hands, looking just as pale and tired as usual. "If it's some prank, I can tell you I'm not in. I don't feel very well."

The three exchanged glances. Of course he didn't feel very well. The full moon was near, like Sirius had said.

James and Peter glanced at Sirius. James might be their leader, true, but Sirius was always their spokesperson. So it was now also.

"Well, what it is?" Remus asked, walking nearer. He stopped right in front of them. "Just tell me, okay?"

"Remus," Sirius said, trying to keep his voice even, "we know."

"W-what?" the smaller boy stammered, seemingly startled. "W-what do you mean?"

"We know about you," he said, his words accompanied by James's and Peter's firm nods. "That you are a werewolf."

Whatever they had expected Remus's reaction to be, they were shocked when their dormmate suddenly fell on his knees, curled on a ball and began shaking.

"Remus?" James asked, positively scared. "Remus - are you okay?"

"He's going to die," Sirius whispered, his worst fears already overcoming him. "We upset him and he got a heart attack and he's going to die."

"Rubbish," Peter snorted. For once he seemed to be the only one who knew what to do. "Remus, listen to me," he said soothingly, kneeling down next to the brunette. "Breathe out. Please. You'll be better if you do."

"Can't..." they heard Remus's tiny voice whispering.

"You have to," Peter said firmly, rubbing circles on the shaking back. "You'll be all right, Remus. Just calm down and breathe. Everything will be all right."

James and Sirius watched in awe as their usually so clumsy friend now took the leads in his hands. Little by little, Peter's calming words and small hands rubbing the other boy's back seemed to have effect. Remus slowly calmed down enough to breathe, the shaking of his body lessening with every breath he managed to draw in and blow out.

Even after he had calmed down, Remus still stayed curled on a ball, not making any attempts to move. The three other boys glanced at each other.

"Hey, Remus?" Sirius said carefully. "Remus, mate, get up."

He got no response.

"Up now, Remus," James said firmly, maybe more firmly than it was necessary. "You don't have the whole day to stay on the floor. We need to talk."

To their both surprise and slight shock, Remus immediately got on his feet, knocking Peter's hand off his back. He stared at the three other boys, his eyes wide and expression frightened. He took a step backwards, then another. As Sirius took one step towards him, he hastily backed away until he collided with the wall.

Peter got on his feet as well. The three began to walk towards their friend, but as Remus crouched down, raising his hands defensively in front of him, they stopped.

"Remus? Say something," Sirius pleaded. "Remie?"

The small brunette stared at his feet for some time, not saying anything. Then, just as Sirius opened his mouth to speak, he suddenly raised his head and looked at them with his watchful amber eyes.

"You hate me now, right?" he asked softly, then dropped his gaze again down at his feet.

"WHAT?" Sirius exclaimed. "Why on Earth would we hate you?"

"Because I'm a werewolf," Remus said, clenching his teeth. "People always hate werewolves. Even my own father hated me for it."

"Whatever for?" James asked, puzzled. "Why would that make him hate you? You're his only son!"

"Yeah, I am," Remus said bitterly. "And that's exactly why he hated me enough to send me to my grandparents. The same wolf that bit me, it - It killed my Mom." He closed his eyes, two tiny tears escaping from under his eyelids. "I think he blames me for being like that man who killed her."

"But it's not your fault!" Sirius shouted furiously. "He has no reason to hate you over it!"

"Tell that to him," Remus said. "And to the Ministry officials. And to the majority of the Wizarding World, as well."

"Okay, Remus. Let's get this through. Did you want it?" James asked.

"No," Remus said quietly, shaking his head. "Definitely not."

"Did you try to get yourself bitten? Did you stop so it could bite you? Or ceased fighting?"

"Merlin, no!" Remus exclaimed, his eyes even wider than before, with shock as much as fear. "I was only three, for Merlin's sake! All I could do was to run and cry for my Mom! And Mom never came," he added as an afterthought, with a blank tone that made all his friends shiver.

"So you were three," James said calmly. "You didn't want it. You didn't try to get infected. Therefore, it's not your fault. And, therefore, we can't hate you for it. It isn't like you could help it."

Remus was quiet for a very long time. He looked at first at James, then at Sirius, then at Peter. And he saw the same firm confirmation on everyone's face. They wouldn't leave his side for this. Not ever.

To their great surprise, Remus did yet another thing they hadn't expected during the same day. He simply sat down on the nearest bed - which was James's - and began to cry.

"What it is?" Peter asked carefully, sitting down next to him. "Remus?" James and Sirius walked also over to the bed, sitting down, one on each side of their two friends.

"Calm down, Remus," Sirius said softly. "You don't have to cry. Everything is all right."

Remus nodded slowly, but still kept crying. He was half-smiling through his tears, though, so they assumed he was better now.

At last the smallest boy ceased crying. "I know it is okay," he said with an apologizing tone. "But - the full moon is near. I'm always a bit oversensitive around it." He wiped the tears off with the sleeve of his robe. "You really don't mind?" he asked then, with almost desperate tone.

"We don't," Sirius confirmed. "We're only sorry that you have to go through it every month. It has to be awful."

"Oh, it is," Remus replied dryly. "I wouldn't stay in the Infirmary for two days every month if it wasn't."

"Can we come visit you there?" Peter asked hopefully. "Now that we know anyway?" They had known that Remus visited the Hospital Wing in regular basis, of course, but they hadn't known why. Remus had told them that he had some kind of hereditary illness, and forbade coming to visit him, because he didn't want to let them see how bad he was.

Remus's face darkened a bit. "I'd rather if you didn't," he said, and sighed. "I can tell you, it isn't a nice sight. Because they lock me away from all humans, the wolf keeps biting and clawing himself."

"Oh, could we please come, Remus?" Sirius asked, and faked a puppy-eyed face. "Puh-lease? We will bring chocolate with us!"

Remus's eyes lit up, and James snorted. "That was nasty, Sirius," he laughed. They all knew about Remus's chocolate craving, and Sirius always used it mercilessly on his advantage. He paid the elder students for buying him Honeyduke's best chocolate and then bribed Remus in doing his homework with it.

"Really," Remus said, and managed a little smile. "That isn't fair. You won't get me with that this time, Sirius. I'm not going to let you see me."

"You will let us," James said firmly. "There's no way you can keep us out, Remus. You will let us in."

"Okay," Remus said quickly, then clasped his hand over his mouth. "Oh, no," he groaned. "Really, James, that wasn't fair!"

"What do you mean?" Peter asked curiously. "Why James's pleading would be any more unfair than ours?"

"Because you're my pack," Remus murmured, an embarrassed blush on his face. "And James is our leader. And wolves always obey the leader of their pack."

"So you'll do anything I say?" James said, a mischievous grin forming up on his face. "Oh, this is going to be good..."

"Only the couple of days around the full moon," Remus said hastily, looking warily at the bespectacled boy next to him. "Otherwise, it won't work."

"But it is only a day to the full moon," James said. "What about if you -" He couldn't say more, because his voice was muffled by Peter's hand on his mouth.

"Now you're the one being nasty, James," Peter said, glaring at him. "You'd better not try anything like that ever, or we'll skin you! Right, Sirius?"

"Right," Sirius said. "You won't use Remus's Lycanthropy on your advantage."

"Oh, ickle Sirriekins has learnt a new word," Remus chuckled. "Doesn't that big and great word hurt your brain? Besides, Sirius, you're doing just the same," he said then with a more serious voice. "My fondness on chocolate is all thanks to my Lycanthropy. You know that chocolate is a medicine to almost all harm caused by the Dark Arts or Dark creatures, right? Well, it helps me very much to keep the wolf under control."

"You're professoring again," Peter observed, still not letting his hand go from James's mouth. "That means that you're normal now."

"Almost," Remus admitted with a nod. "The wolf side takes over only when I'm upset. It's of course strongest this near the full moon, but it can come up otherwise, if I can't control it. Remember that time last year, when our cauldron exploded in Potions?"

"When you tried to bite the professor?" Sirius laughed. "How could I not?"

"Not that time," Remus said, glaring sharply at him. "That was when Smithson's potion splashed all over us. The Trapped Rat Potion. _Everyone_ tried to bite him as he gave out the antidotes."

"And besides, you were the only one who actually did," Peter said, grinning at Sirius. "I think Remus means that time when he tried to shake the potion off his clothes like a wolf, and it soaked us all. It was fun!"

"Yeah, it was. I still can remember how Trelawney almost fainted as she noticed the transparent hole in Sirius's stomach," Remus chuckled.

"What was that - thing, anyway? The fit you got?" Sirius asked, curious.

"A panic attack," Remus said, smiling a bit apologizically. Then he glanced at Peter. "Thank you for helping me," he whispered.

"Of course," Peter said, smiling. "I used to have them myself when I was younger. I know how awful they can be."

"What about getting James go by now?" Remus suggested then. "I bet he's already got the point." He pointed at the fourth Marauder, who still was muted by Peter's hand.

"What? Oh, sure." Peter let go of James, who glared sharply at the fatter boy.

"That was uncalled for," James mumbled angrily.

"No, it wasn't," Remus said calmly. "That was very rude and you know it, Jamie."

James made a face. He hated nothing as much as being called ‘Jamie.' "Well, can we come visit you, anyway?" he asked then, remembering their previous topic.

"I don't know," Remus said hesitantly, but Sirius and Peter immediately quieted him by their pleas.

"Oh, please, Remus, let us come," Peter chirped.

"Yeah, we want to make you feel better," Sirius said and grinned. "And I would bring chocolate with me, really. Besides, if you don't let us come, we'll break into the Infirmary!"

"Yeah, you can't keep us out!" James said, repeating his former words.

"Okay, then," Remus sighed. "If you really must. But don't blame me if it upsets you, then. I've tried my best."

"Don't worry, Remus," Peter said softly. "Even if it upset us, we'd still come. We don't want to leave you alone anymore."

"That's right, mate," Sirius said, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "We won't leave you ever."

James mirrored Sirius's action, moving nearer to Remus as Peter slipped off between them and stood on the floor, hugging Remus from the front. Soon they were all encircled in a warm group embrace.

"We'll be together forever," somebody said. "Nothing can ever separate us!"

Nobody knew who exactly said it. But they all meant it.