To Hope For Nothing

To Hope for Nothing

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Let Them Know

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3 Days

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It was the time for an Order meeting. As it was the summer holiday, and almost all teachers had left the school, they could safely meet at Hogwarts. This meant that when Severus and Remus finally bothered to walk their oh-so-lengthy travel to the meeting room -- Remus hadn't been wholly released from the Infirmary yet, but Poppy had allowed him to attend to the meeting if Severus took good care of him -- everybody was already there. And of course, all were ecstatic to see Remus there, having had no idea of where he was or what had happened to him.

"Remus!" Tonks exclaimed, rushing forward. "Oh, where have you been? We were so worried!" She flung her arms around Remus's neck, nearly making him fall down.

Severus saw as Remus flinched in horror of being suddenly touched. The werewolf raised his hands between himself and the overenthusiastic woman.

"Umm... Nymphadora?" he said, acting calm, but Severus could hear the slight distress in his voice. "Could you please let go? I'd rather not be strangled right now." He tried to keep his voice playful, and to everyone else he seemingly managed, considering their slightly amused expressions. Severus, though, couldn't be kidded by the act. He'd been masking his own emotions long enough to know when somebody was trying to hide their true feelings.

"What exactly happened to you?" Tonks asked after letting go of Remus and stepping back -- much to Severus's relief, as he had promised to protect Remus but would have found it very awkward to explain if he'd stepped in and told Tonks not to touch the werewolf -- letting her glance examine the wizard. The other members of the Order began to gather around them, welcoming Remus back. Some shot them odd glances, seeing Severus Snape and Remus Lupin standing side by side - it wasn't half as unbelievable as it would have been if it was Severus and Black, but still unexpected - and Remus started to look a bit uneasy with the crowd around him.

"That will be explained during the meeting," he snapped as Remus didn't seem to get a word out of his mouth. "Now, will you please sod off for a while. I'd like to talk to Remus - alone."

This gained them weird looks from all the people around them. Oddly enough, they obeyed him without further questioning. Only the Tonks child continued asking what had happened to the werewolf and since when had Severus called him by the first name, but the Snape Glare Number One got her away in an instant.

"Thank you," Remus whispered once the others had gone a bit further away. "I - I know they would never hurt me, but I just can't bear it. I just can't."

"Calm down, please," he muttered, placing a reassuring hand on his arm. "It's okay, Remus. Really." They had almost immediately noticed that although Remus was afraid of nearly any human touch - pretty understandable in his situation - the trust that had been created between them that fateful night made him able to bear Severus's touch perfectly well. Even Dumbledore couldn't explain what kind of magic would allow Severus, and only Severus, inside the thick walls created in Remus's mind, but it was that way, and Severus was most grateful of it -- it made soothing the now easily scared werewolf down much easier to him, and as he'd promised to take care of Remus, it was his responsibility. Black, of course, couldn't bear this at all and had complained about it ever since they had firstly discovered the fact.

"Everyone's staring," Remus murmured.

"Yes, they are," he admitted. "They've been worried about you, Remus." He gave the absolute fuck to what everyone would think and wrapped his arms around the smaller man, drawing comforting circles on his backside. The werewolf buried his face in the crook of Severus's neck, his small hands clutching on the Potions Master's robes like his life had been solely depending on how tightly he could hang on him.

The strange looks they were receiving didn't at least lessen at these actions, but he didn't really care. He only wanted Remus to stay calm. Poppy had told him that in Remus's condition - the Lycanthropy was even alone an issue of mind, and now the rape and involuntary pregnancy - he could easily go hysterical at even the tiniest things, and being hysteric could lead to a full-blown panic attack. This sensitivity would take ages to recover from. Severus had had to witness Remus's first panic attack the night before, and he was determined to prevent the werewolf never experiencing it again.

At last, Dumbledore called them all in. Severus hastened to get Remus inside first. There was no table in the meeting room, only chairs, and the Headmaster pointed at two chairs separated from the others, nodding quietly at him. Severus returned the nod and led Remus towards the chairs shown to them.

He sat down on one of the chairs and Remus was seated on another. They exchanged glances, Severus smiled slightly, and Remus managed a little, nervous smile in response. Then they silently watched as all the others were seated around the room.

Once everyone was ready, Dumbledore opened his mouth to welcome them, but Mad-Eye Moody cut abruptly in.

"Has the Hell frozen over?" he asked.

"I don't think so," Dumbledore answered mildly.

"Has Hagrid got some winged pigs for pets that are flying around the place?"

"Not that, either - at least not yet."

"Has Fudge confessed that you were right all the time?"

"Not that I'm aware of, no."

"Then why the Hell are those two behaving like best friends, or better even, lovers?" the old Auror asked irritably, pointing his finger at Severus and Remus. Remus jerked a bit backwards, scared by this sudden action. Severus placed his hand soothingly on the slender arm, and the werewolf seemed to calm down.

"And how come Sirius has not killed Snape yet?" Tonks added, eyeing curiously both the two men sitting away from the others and the black-haired Animagus.

"Calm down, please. I'm just going to explain you," Dumbledore smiled. Everyone locked their waiting eyes at him. "As you all are aware of, Remus had been missing for some time," he began.

"Pretty hard to ignore," Mad-Eye grumbled.

"Anyway," Dumbledore continued, not caring about the interruption, "as you see, Remus is again among us." He eyed the werewolf before continuing, "What happened to him during this disappearance is now on our concern. You see, he was captured by some Death Eaters --"

"Oh, no!" Arabella Figg exclaimed. Some other members of the Order also let out surprised cries.

"-- Who took him to Voldemort," Dumbledore continued, completely ignoring their reactions. "The Dark Lord had his own plans for our poor friend. Three days ago, with all the Death Eaters witnessing the events, he let Lucius Malfoy rape Remus several times."

Everyone's eyes flew wide with horror. They were all staring at Remus, who was shifting at his seat most uncomfortably. For a moment Severus felt a sudden urge to jump up, scream the Headmaster to stop, tell them all to just sod off and leave them in peace. He kept control of himself, however, and instead of yelling, he just leaned over to grasp Remus's hand. Then he squeezed it reassuringly, rubbing the werewolf's knuckles with his thumb. Idly he wondered whether the odd bond they now shared had changed his behaviour towards Lupin even more than it had changed Lupin's behaviour towards him.

"But that wasn't even all the evilness of the Dark Lord," the Headmaster went on. "After these events, he casted an ancient spell on Remus." He was quiet for a moment. So was everyone else. There was a complete silence in the room until the old wizard added, "An impregnation spell."

Several cries of horror and disgust bursted out of his audience. Then a huge wave of fussing and whispering and furious talking broke over them. Remus closed his eyes and turned his face towards Severus. The Slytherin raised his other hand to stroke gently his cheek, and he felt the werewolf shiver under his fingers. Tiny, silent tears rolled from under his closed eyelids.

"Silence!" the Headmaster ordered, his hands raised. Little by little everyone fell quiet, their eyes fixed on Dumbledore instead of Remus, who had been positively frightened by all the eyes directed at him.

"Fortunately, the Dark Lord didn't count in the possibility that Remus's werewolf's body would refuse carrying its rapist's child," the old wizard told them. "In order to prevent that, his own magic, driven by the wolf inside him, reached out for the nearest friendly person." He was again quiet for a while, then continued, "Therefore, the child currently growing inside our friend is not Malfoy's, but Severus's."

Now there was a complete silence. It lasted for at least few minutes before it was broken.

"Are you trying to say that Remus is pregnant - with Snape's child?" Tonks piped out. Her hair was now a screaming shade of pink with some strands changing colour all the time - probably describing very well her current state of mind.

"That's indeed what I'm trying to tell you," Dumbledore replied, that ever-damned twinkle again returning to his eyes. "But you may not, I repeat, you may not even mention this to anyone outside these walls. Everyone will of course find out when Remus starts showing, but until then, this is going to stay secret. Am I understood?" His blue eyes wandered from one member of the Order to another. They all nodded, some of them rather nervously, Severus couldn't help noticing.

"What will you do about this, after all?" It was Kingsley, eyeing the Headmaster curiously.

"Because the Dark Lord has told that it would suit his plans, and also because he's the other father, Severus has agreed to take care of both the baby and Remus," Dumbledore told them. "Once this is revealed in a few months of time, we'll claim the baby is Severus's. Of course this is the truth, but as our opponents don't know that, it'll look like a cover to them."

Severus nodded thoughtfully, his mind concentrated on calming Remus. Yes, they had indeed agreed to this arrangement. It looked like the best option, considering both Severus's need to keep up his facade as a Death Eater and therefore obey his "master's" instructions, and Remus's obvious need for his help.

While paying only a half mind to the actual meeting, he also thought about an extra room that was now attached to his quarters. That would become Remus's in just a couple of days, and later on, another room would be attached and turned into a nursery. It seemed almost unreal to think that in nine months time, he would be holding a little son or daughter of his own, but it was true. What he'd never thought would happen -- he becoming a father, he, Severus Snape of all people! -- was going to happen, and it had already started.

However, his mind soon abandoned these thoughts, too, as Remus shivered, seemingly still thoroughly exhausted from his horrors. Caressing the small, pale hand gently, Severus soon didn't pay even half a mind but instead no mind at all at whatever it was Dumbledore was talking about.