Matchmaker

+~+ Part one +~+

Hermione Granger set off down the corridor. She hurried along to catch up with her two best friends, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley (A/N: For those of you who don't know... I can't imagine why).

"What's wrong?" Hermione asked, noticing Harry's melancholy face.

"Cho trouble," Ron said simply.

"I thought that was over," Hermione said.

"Well, it was. Then it wasn't. And now it is," Ron explained.

Hermione looked at Harry's face again. She didn't see why things had to be so hard for him. He was pretty good-looking, and very talented. He got fairly good marks, and he was a nice person. What was not to like?

"Poor you, Harry," Hermione said. "You deserve better treatment than this."

"Yeah, I know," Harry replied (in a melancholy tone, because "melancholy" is the coolest word).

"If only there were *something* I could do..." Hermione said to herself softly, her head buzzing with ideas. Finally, one thought stopped in the front of her mind. "That's it! That's just the thing!"

Harry and Ron watched as Hermione pushed her way through the corridor and around the corner.

"Oh great. It's 'spew' all over again," Ron muttered to Harry.

"S.P.E.W., actually," said a voice from behind them. "Hermione's told me all about it. Are you two members as well?"

Luna Lovegood was standing behind them. She was wearing those turnip earring thingies again. She dropped the cauldron she was carrying with a bang and wiped her hands on her robes.

"Er, no," Ron replied. "You mean to say, that you -- you actually *joined* that thing?"

Luna nodded. "Didn't you? I think it's a brilliant idea, really. I've never really thought of house elves in that way until now. Those poor, helpless creatures! We really take them for granted sometimes, don't you think?"

"No," Ron said simply.

"Oh. Well, that gives you something to think about, doesn't it?" Luna said. She pulled an old watch from her robe pocket, shoved it back in, and picked up her cauldron. "Better be off now. See you later, then, Ronald. Oh, and Harry," she added, leaving them speechless in her wake.

"She surprises me everytime," Ron said as he and Harry climbed through the portrait hole. "I don't think I'll ever be surprised by anything again."

"Don't count on it," Harry said, pointing. Hermione was taping a flier up on the noticeboard. She pressed the tape again, making sure it would stick, and then hurried up to the girls' dormitories. Harry and Ron made their way over to the board.

~~ ** ~~

LOOKING FOR LOVE??

You're not alone!!

Contact Hermione Granger with a short description of your hobbies and interests, along with a photograph of yourself. She will find you the perfect match!

~~ ** ~~

"*What* does she think she's doing? Does she actually expect anyone to respond to this?" Ron asked, ripping the flier from the board.

"Ron! Put that back up!" Hermione called from the staircase. She hurried down the stairs and took the flier from him.

"*What* do you think you're doing?" he repeated.

"What does it look like? I'm starting a matchmaking service! What did you think it was?"

"I know it's a dating service --"

"I prefer the term 'matchmaking'."

"Makes no difference, does it? -- But why exactly are you starting one?"

"Actually, Harry's my inspiration," Hermione told him, beaming at Harry. "I saw what a poor, troubled, broken-hearted soul he was and I wanted to do something. I wanted to help him and make his life better. And I figured, if I could help Harry find the perfect partner, I can help everyone else, too!"

Ron and Harry started at her.

"You've gone completely daft, Hermione. Daft."

"I have not. You'll see, once I get this thing started, you'll see how right I was! And you might even thank me for it," she added furtively. She moved past the two boys and pressed the tape onto the board again.

Harry turned around, and Ron followed suit. "But Hermione, how do you know you'll be able to pull it off?"

"I've been watching the other students -- picked up on some of their quirks and things, you know -- well... I just know I can help people. And it would make this whole place so much better. For one thing, there will be a lot less sulky people around such as yourself," Hermione explained.

"I'm not sulky," Harry lied.

Hermione arched an eyebrow at him. "Sure. Anyway... over the summer, I was reading this book --"

"What's new?" Ron scoffed.

"*Anyway* -- I was reading this book about wizarding psychology. It was rather interesting, I think I might want to be a wizarding psychologist after Hogwarts. Well, it was saying that 98% of all people worldwide -- including Muggles, giants, trolls, you name it -- are looking for love," Hermione said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Not me," Ron said. "I'm fine on my own."

"Some people deny it, about 49% worldwide, but deep down, they really do," Hermione continued as though there had been no interruption.

Ron narrowed his eyes at her, and she narrowed hers back.

"Anyway... I've done the math. I took the number of students at Hogwarts, divided by two, then by four. Then I converted that number to a percentage and took out two percent..."

Hermione continued rattling off percentages.

"While we're young, please?!" Ron cried.

"Well, anyway, I'm starting a matchmaking service, and nothing you say or do will change my mind."

With that, Hermione whirled around and set off down the corridor.

"As I said, I'll never be surprised again." Ron concluded.

+~+ End of part one +~+