The Devil Went Down to Georgia

A/N: Okay, this was just something I did when I was bored. But the song is the best in the world and I think it came out rather nicely. Like I said before with 'Ricky', I'm not that good at starting these things and I didn't really know how to spell Karaoki (is that right?) but other than that I think it is more or less error free (I'm really big on spelling errors and am so nit-picky sometimes I think I'm going to spontaneously combust....) Hope you like.

***The Devil Went Down to Georgia:

[Draco comes onstage and looks around]

Draco: Why are we in Georgia?

Author: Because that's where the story takes place; now get on with the show

[Draco wanders aimlessly onstage]

Author: What are you doing?

Draco: Well, I'm trying to find a soul to steal, you know, 'cause I'm in a bind and kinda way behind and willing to make a deal

Author: Way behind on what?

Draco: [Sarcastically] Way behind on my flower-picking; what do you think!? I steal souls, I'm the Devil--It's kinda what I do for a living.

Author: Oh, well, there's someone over there. Why don't you ask them for their soul?

Draco: Excuse me, I don't ask: I take by force. I am the Devil, after all.

[walks over to the boy playing the fiddle, jumps on a hickory stump and then falls off]

[Author and fiddle player stifle laughter]

Draco: [tonelessly] Very funny, ha-ha-ha [to Author] I know you moved that

Author: It was funny! I just couldn't resist!

Draco: Look! Do you want me to take your soul? Is that what you want? 'Cause I will!!

Author: You can't take my soul!

Draco: Yes I can!

Author: Hey!, do you want me to give you a kitten?!

Harry: [thinking to himself] How come I play a fiddle? Why can't I play something a little more....manly, you know, like a guitar or the drums or something? I don't even know what the hell a fiddle is. And that reminds me: Excuse me, but I've been playing this fiddle for quiet a while now and I was just wondering if maybe I could stop sometime....soon.....

Draco: Oh. Right then, Potter. I'm the Devil and I'm here to take your soul

Harry: You're not the Devil

Draco: What are you talking about; of course I am!

Harry: No you're not; you don't look anything like the Devil

Draco: Of course I do! [Points to headband where two little, battery-operated, plastic, red horns are blinking on and off in turns] See, these are my horns, and here's my tail. [reaches behind himself and produces a little, fuzzy, red tail with a spike at the end] Together they make me the Devil. [tail falls off and Draco looks at it for a minute before buttoning it back on]

Harry: Alright, you're the Devil; but that doesn't give you any right to take my soul. I won that soul fair and square.

Draco: [takes hickory stump and holds onto it while getting on] Well, I'll tell you what Potter. You probably didn't know it but I can play a pretty damn good fiddle. And I'll bet you this golden fiddle that I can play better than you.

Harry: Okay, so if I win then I get your golden fiddle.....but what if you win?

Draco: ....Well, then, I get your soul

Harry: How is that fair!!

Draco: Oh, come off it Potter; like you're going to need that soul where you're going...

Harry: What is that suppose to mean?

Draco: Look Potter, I use The Book of the Dead as a coaster--Like I've never read it before. And believe me, with all the stuff that you've done with Granger and all the Weasley's and especially me, you're definitely going to hell

Harry: .....Alright, you've got yourself a deal Mr. Fuzzy-Tail, but I'm just warning you right now that you shouldn't even bother trying: I'm going to kick your a--

Draco: Hey!, Potter, watch your mouth; I'm trying to lay off the profanity.

Harry: [sheepishly] Sorry

Draco: Now hurry up and get ready before the sun comes up and I melt

Harry:....Isn't that water and the Wicked Witch of the West?....

Draco: Hey! You leave my mother out of this!! Now hurry

Harry: Okay, I'm ready

Draco: Alright, I'll go first.

[as Draco gets out his wooden, playing fiddle demons pop up out of nowhere wearing clip-on bow ties and cheap cologne and twirly mustaches]

Demons: [singing in unison] 'Harry rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard

'Cause hell's broke loose in Georgia

And the Devil deals the cards

And if you win you get this shiny fiddle made of gold

But if you lose the Devil gets your soul'

[Draco puts on a transparent green visor]

Harry: What is that for?

Draco: Well I can't deal the cards if I don't wear the dealers hat, now can I?....Now get ready Potter, to be blown away...

[Draco takes out his wooden playing fiddle and rosins his bow. As he does fire comes out of his fingertips and the string burns]

Draco: Damnit!, that always happens....

[Takes another string and rosins up his bow again. Then he pulls the bow over the strings of the fiddle and one of the strings on the fiddle pops]

[Draco looks at Harry abashed]

Draco: [shrugging] I'm just that good

Harry: [rolls eyes] Come on, Malfoy; You can't even play your fiddle without it catching fire and you expect to beat me?!...

Draco: Hey!, have you ever tired to play any kind of wooden, flammable instrument with one hand made of flint and the other made of stone?

Harry: .......No.........

Draco: Then I suggest you shut up!

Harry: Or what Malfoy, you're going to beat me to death with you detachable tail?

Draco: You're lucky we have a script to stick to or I would haven taken your soul and left you a single housewife with two kids by now

Harry: .............What the hell is that suppose to mean?!?!?..........

Draco: You're so dense Potter!! You know what?, to make it easier on me, I'm just going to play you for your soul

[Draco pulls out a tiny amplifier and plugs it into his instrument and begins to play his fiddle and all 10 demons bust out their electronic keyboards and tiny karaoki machines and play along with Draco]

Harry: [when Draco is done] Hey! I didn't know we could use electric fiddles and other instruments. If I had known I would have brought out my demons to play with me

Draco: Potter, I don't think that your owl and Granger's cat qualify as 'demons' and besides; I'm the Devil--they follow me wherever I go. It's kind of annoying really, when you're trying to take a piss and you have ten demons outside the door singing 'Play That Funky Music White-Boy' Anyways; It's your turn Potter, though why you should even bother trying is beyond me.....

Harry: [pompously] Just sit back on your spiked ass and let me show you how a true fiddle player plays. You've been stuck in the boiler room of Hogwarts for too long--don't even know what music is suppose to sound like--

Draco: And you're going to show me on your fiddle? You had just said a minute ago that you didn't even know what a fiddle was!!

Harry: ........yeah, well.......the author was drunk then.........

Author: Hey! No I wasn't

Harry: Shhh! He doesn't know that!

Author: Just play!!

Harry: Alright, alright.....

[Harry rosins his bow and then begins to play]

Demons: [singing in unison again] 'Fire on the mountain run boys run

Devil's in the house of the rising sun

Chickens in the breadpan picking out dough

Granny does your dog bite

No child no'

Author: Wow, that was pretty damn good........

Draco: Damn Potter, that was..........like a piece of golden crap......

Harry: What the hell is that suppose to mean Malfoy?!?

Author: It means that your playing was superb and Mr. Malfoy luxuriated in it very deeply and gives his utmost thanks and gratitude towards you for all your patience and good-sportsman ability: he just doesn't know how to euphemize.

Harry: [smiling broadly towards Draco and cooing] Who owes me a big, shiny, golden fiddle? Who does? Who owes it to me? I think it's Malfoy!!!

Draco: [handing golden fiddle to Harry] I hope you choke on it Potter

Harry: [taking fiddle] How can I? It's not like I eat my fiddles, Malfoy

Draco: [to author] I'm leaving now, before Potter has the chance to say the line I know he's been working on for weeks

Author: You can't leave now! It's not over yet!

Harry: Yeah! And I have to say my line; It's the best one I got in the story

Draco: [bitterly] Fine--but then I'm going back to my dark little furnace room in Hogwarts and not coming back out again until I freeze Hell over

Author: But I need you for my next story

Draco: [to author] Let's just get one thing straight; I'm not putting on anymore fur or dresses! Now hurry up and say your damned line Potter so that I can go and add up how many more years before you die and I get to see you swim in a lake of tepid water

Harry: I thought the lake was suppose to be on fire

Draco: It was, but we kept on getting g a lot of complaints--Now just say it!!

Harry: Alright, geez, no need to get your little tail stuck up your a--

Draco: Say the word and I will personally shove my horns up there

Harry: Fine, fine.....[clears throat] Thank you for this lovely fiddle made of gold, Malfoy. You are cordially invited to come on back if you ever want to try to beat me again but I told you once you son of a bitch; I'm the best that's ever been

Draco: Whatever Potter [to author] Can I go now?

[Draco walks off while Harry plays on the golden fiddle and all ten demons follow him offstage singing]

Demons: 'Fire on the mountain run boys run

Devil's in the house of the rising sun

Chickens in the breadpan picking out dough

Granny does your dog bite

No child no'

Draco: [mutters to demons] Traitors..........

Harry: What is up with the lyrics? Are they suppose to mean something? I mean, why would chickens be in a breadpan? It's crazy!

Draco: Shut up, Potter!! [to demons] Stop that incessant racket! If you love Potter so much why don't you just go marry him?!

[Demons stop singing and look at each other]

Head Demon: You know, that's not a bad idea

[All demons suddenly run at Harry and carry him off to a cheap, Georgia, Las Vegas-imitation wedding chapel]

Author: [calling after demons] Just have him back by next week; we need to go over the next script!!.......Have fun you crazy kids!!!!

The Devil Went Down to Georgia: The Charlie Daniels Band--

Lyrics:

The devil went down to Georgia

He was looking for a soul to steal

He was in a bind

'Cause he was way behind

And was willing to make a deal

When he came upon a young boy playing on a fiddle and playin' it hot

And the jumped up on a hickory stump and said

"Boy let me tell you what

I bet you didn't know it

but I'm a fiddle player too

And if you care to take a dare

I'll make a bet with you

Now you play a pretty good fiddle boy

But give the devil his due

I'll bet a fiddle of gold against your soul

'Cause I think I'm better than you"

The boy said, "My name's Johnny

And it might be a sin

But I'll take your bet, your gonnna regret

'Cause I'm the best that's ever been"

Johnny rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard

'Cause hell's broke loose in Georgia

And the devil deals the cards

And if you win you get this shiny fiddle made of gold

But if you loose the devil gets your soul

The devil opened up his case and he said

"I'll start this show"

And fire flew from his fingertips

As he rosined up his bow

And he pulled the bow across the strings

And it made an evil hiss

Then a band of demons joined in

And it sounded something like this

(music playing)

When the devil finished Johnny said

"Well you're pretty good ol' son

But sit down in that chair right there

And let me show you how it's done"

Fire on the mountains run boys run

Devil's in the house of the rising sun

Chickens in the breadpan picking out dough

Granny does your dog bite

No child no

(music playing)

The devil bowed his head

Because he knew that he'd been beat

And he laid that golden fiddle

On the ground at Johnny's feet

Johnny said "Devil just come on back

if you ever wanna try again

I done told you once

You son of a bitch

I'm the best that's ever been"

He played

Fire on the mountains run boys run

Devil's in the house of the rising sun

Chickens in the breadpan picking out dough

Granny does your dog bit

No child no

(music playing)