Occlumency Revisited

Occlumency Revisited

Part One: A Reluctant Legilimens

The tip of Hermione's wand wavered with uncharacteristic uncertainty. It was pointed at Harry, who was closing the door to the upstairs guest bedroom in the Burrow.

"Maybe I should go over that last chapter one more time," she said.

"Hermione, you've gone through that book enough times to have it memorized backwards. When was the last time it took you two weeks to learn a spell?" Harry straightened, tensing slightly. "I'm ready."

"This isn't turning a turtle into a teacup, Harry. It's more of a talent than a skill." She sniffed. "Actually, it's unpleasantly close to Divination. I'm rubbish at seeing things that aren't there."

"But you're brilliant at pretty much everything else. Anyway, my mind is really there," said Harry. "Try it."

Hermione began to smile, but resolutely drew a deep breath, straightened her arm, and said, distinctly, "Legilimens!"

Harry blinked.

"Erm, did it, I mean, did you..." Hermione began.

"I don't know. I think I felt something strange happening," said Harry, "and for a second, I thought I tasted..."

"A turkey sandwich," said Hermione. "I did, too. Were you thinking about turkey sandwiches?"

"I don't think so."

"Maybe you were just hungry."

"Not really."

"Oh." She raised her wand again.

Harry squirmed uncomfortably, and ran his hand through his hair. He recognized the way Hermione was looking at him now-- it was the way she looked while working on a particularly difficult Arithmancy assignment. He was an unsolved problem, and Hermione hated to let any problem go unsolved.

"Legilimens!"

The taste was different this time-- the metallic tang of exhaustion, of dry night air drawn in heaving gasps. Harry stumbled backwards slightly, then righted himself.

"Are you all right, Harry?" Hermione's eyes were bright with excitement, but her voice was concerned. "I think that was closer, but all I can feel are tastes and smells. It was like..."

"It was. Try it again," said Harry.

"Legilimens!"

The burning at the back of the throat came back, and something darker and heavier-- blood. Smoke, too. A sound-- the cracking and popping of flames claiming wet wood. A visceral mixture of fatigue, panic, and rage that made his pulse pound in his ears.

"Oh, god, Harry," Hermione gasped. "Are you sure you want..."

"Do it again," Harry said raggedly, bracing himself against the wall.

Hermione hesitated briefly, but raised her wand again. "Legilimens!"

Finally, his vision clouded. Blood and smoke and pain returned, Snape was sneering, lit by the orange glow of Hagrid's burning cottage. "Blocked again and again and again until you learn to keep your mouth shut and your mind closed, Potter!" The roof of the tower was lit green, and Dumbledore's body was tumbling over the ramparts. A white flame against clear sky, and the lament of a phoenix.

Harry found himself crumpled on the floor, breathing hard. Hermione had dropped her wand, and was kneeling beside him, holding back a sob. They stood, and Hermione hugged Harry fiercely. "Harry, I didn't-- those weren't-- I wasn't looking for that. It's just... it was right there." She stopped, her breath shaking.

Harry pulled away. "I think," he said, "it's time I started fighting back."