Three O'clock in the Morning

Three O'clock in the Morning

In the real dark night of the soul, it is always three o'clock in the morning. - F. Scott Fitzgerald

No Friend

Have no friend not equal to yourself. - Confucius

Sirius puttered about the flat excitedly. His godson had invited Hermione over today and he could not be happier. In the back of his mind, Sirius knew he was overreacting, but it was something of a godsend that he could treat Harry like a son now. Sure, he had the Golden Trio at his house all summer, but it had not been the same. Yes, he had owned the house, but they were there for the protection of the Order, not because they particularly wanted to be there or because Sirius had offered to host them. This time the entire thing was completely voluntary. And he was pleased.

"Sirius, what are you doing?" Harry exclaimed loudly. Over the past week, he had gotten over most of his initial shyness around his stepfather, realizing that he would not be punished for voicing his opinions or accidentally slipping his toe out of line.

Sirius stared at his godson, pained. "I'm making sure everything's ready for when Hermione arrives."

Being the teenager he was, Harry only rolled his eyes in disgust.

"What?"

"We're going to the park, not spending the day here! She won't see anything, but the living room and even that only for a minute."

Before Sirius could react to Harry's point of view, there was a firm knocking at the door. He opened it to reveal Diana and Hermione Granger, both looking at him nervously and with slightly damp, bushy brown hair.

"Are we early, Mr. Black?" Diana Granger asked.

"Call me Sirius." Sirius grinned wildly at Diana. "And, no, you aren't early, you're right on time."

Both women smiled quietly, possibly wondering why the man was grinning like a lunatic, and stepped into the apartment. Hermione quickly slipped from her mother's side and began to engage in a conversation with Harry. From the way Harry's eyes sparked when the girl began to talk, Sirius knew that he had done the right thing in encouraging Harry to befriend Hermione.

When the four left the flat to visit the nearby park and zoo, Diana and Sirius fell comfortably behind their respective children, happy to merely watch the two teenagers discuss whatever teenagers discuss and gawk at the squirrels, pigeons, and other exotic beasts of the land. For a time, neither adult spoke (although Hermione and Harry did do a great deal of talking themselves).

For once, the Scottish sun was shining, though not particularly brightly, and there was no sign of rain or fog on the horizon. The park was a flat green-brown plain, with hand planted copses of various 'native' trees and was overrun with various rodents and small children. The small children seemed to be fascinated by the rodents, but the rodents had enough sense to stay in the trees, away from the children's grabbing fists. The zoo, though a small one, was connected to the park. It did not house many exotic creatures and was mostly a petting zoo to distract the rodent-interested small children, but there were some exhibits that might appeal to Harry and Hermione, such as the traveling group of water snakes or the penguins. All in all, Sirius decided, it was quite nice to be free and to be able to walk in the morning sun.

"I think it's sweet, those two," Diana said lightly, as way of making conversation.

Sirius, who had been distracted by a chattering squirrel, looked confused. "Eh?" he asked intelligently.

"Those two," she repeated, gesturing to her daughter and his stepson.

He smiled. "Oh, yes. Good of them to find each other."

Diana smiled back. "It is good for Hermione to find someone to interact with, as she usually buries herself in her studies."

Sirius could imagine that quite easily. He had often wondered how studious Hermione, a very lost Harry, and a very determined and willful Ron ever managed to seal such a strong friendship, leading to the troll-Quirrel discussion with Remus two summers previous. "Yes, Harry was quite similar."

Diana frowned. "He loses himself in his work?"

"No, no," Sirius replied with a shake of his head. "He becomes lost in himself."

It was not unusual for that to occur in the magical world, especially when the person in question was a powerful witch or had a Destiny. Harry, having both, was doubly susceptible to this problem. Well, Remus had always thought of it as a problem, but everyone else felt that it was Harry's way of learning to deal with his powers and to learn what he need to do with his life. Snape had said, quite sourly, that the boy did not have any grand powers at all, but was merely sulking because people were not paying attention to him. The rest of the Order, as well as most of the magical world, had wholeheartedly ignored him on that score. Actually, that Rita Skeeter woman had fed off that theory rather well, but most sound people ignored it, Sirius rationalized.

"Oh," Diana replied thoughtfully. She did not seem to have much more to say.

They spent their afternoon with Harry and Hermione, buying a quick lunch at the small zoo restaurant. Harry was rather repulsed by the water snake exhibit, something that shocked Sirius, who was accustomed to thinking of Harry as a Parselmouth and reacting as such. He had thought that Harry would enjoy the exhibit. He knew that if he had been a Parselmouth at that age, he would have taken advantage of every situation he could find to talk to snakes. And then Sirius realized that Parseltongue was probably a magical trait, and, even if it were not, Harry had not been marked by Lord Voldemort in this world and therefore would not be able to speak to snakes in any case.

"What a strange world we live in," he remarked aloud, as they left the reptile building to visit the aviary.

Diana and Harry looked at him as if he had grown another head, but Hermione smiled at him.

"I must agree, Mr. Black. It is a strange world."

If her voice had not been so smooth, so logical, or so rational, Sirius would have taken her for one of the infamous Oracles that were scattered about the world. But Hermione sounded as if she were merely agreeing with a known fact, as if she had said 'the sky is blue' or 'grass grows under the sun.' Sirius had to wonder sometimes about this place.

When they visited the aviary and Sirius wanted to see the owls, Harry looked at him askance. But seeing owls reminded Sirius of home, of being in hiding with Remus, of receiving letters from Hedwig when he was out on the Canary Islands, of correspondence with Dumbledore. Once he saw the snowy owls perched near the foreign screech owls, Sirius needed to leave. If he stayed much longer he would burst into tears and he doubted his stepson would appreciate that. Or so he told himself.

~~

As the sun began to slowly set behind the hills that stretched beyond the edge of the park, Diana admitted that she needed to hurry back to the dental practice. Sirius assured her that it would be no inconvenience to have Hermione eat with the Blacks that night and that he and Harry would personally see her daughter home. With a smile and a wave, the dentist disappeared into the crowds exiting the park, leaving her daughter, Harry, and Sirius, looking slightly stranded, three unmoving people in a sea of rushing humanity.

Sirius grinned at the two teenagers as he led them home. He was not sure if Regulus' assumption of Harry finding a lucky girl was correct, but they seemed a bit more secretive and quiet here than they had in his world. Perhaps it was because here he was a strong parental figure, whereas at home he had the flexibility of being an escaped convict. Perhaps it was because Ron was not there to make them laugh (or hit him over the head, as the case may be). Perhaps it was that they were forming a friendship at fifteen-almost-sixteen rather than eleven. Perhaps they had been like this at the earlier stages of their troll-induced friendship, but Sirius just had not been there to bear witness to it. Perhaps it was a hundred different things and perhaps it was none of them.

When they arrived at the flat, Lily had dinner ready, having anticipated that Hermione would stay for dinner. Despite his new oddities, she knew that her husband was a generous host and would not turn away a guest. She was slightly disappointed to gather that neither Diana nor Luke would be there for dinner, but pleased to learn more about Hermione, her son's new friend. She, too, did not know what to make of the blossoming relationship, but Lily did not particularly care. Harry had always been a shy boy and it was an important event if he should invite a school friend over without Draco or Thebe's encouragement.

Throughout dinner - an interesting Thai dish that Lily had been aching to try out - Hermione chattered with Sirius' family about this, that, and the other thing. She seemed to be making a conscious effort not to sound like a know-it-all and it was not in vain. Of course, when Harry mistook one of his science summer assignments, she immediately corrected him, but if she was as socially deprived as Harry was, Sirius could only assume that this was acceptable. If he could help only these two children during his stay here, that might be enough to give him confidence when he returned to his world.

Sirius had decided, sometime after seeing the snakes and owls, that he needed to go home, as soon as possible. If he could become emotional at a zoo exhibit, who knew what his reactions to other parts of his life would be. And he was quite sure, as Wolfgang had told him that if the Archway and Veil had deposited him in this world, then there must be way to reverse the process. Maybe he could convince Severus and Harry to help him research the Internet to see if any Muggle had discovered a similar Archway and Veil in this world. If his shot home were not through such a device...well, Sirius would cross that bridge when he came to it.

The night seemed long to Sirius, as he joined his new family and Hermione in a board game at which Hermione excelled. It was called "Scrabble" and Sirius always misspelled the words, losing the game miserably. In the end, he elected to sit back and watch the others play; it was embarrassing to lose so badly to two teenagers.

He liked the way Harry smiled and laughed when Hermione teased him about not knowing as many words as she did. Sirius realized that he had never seen his godson this relaxed and quiet. In his world, Harry had been looking over his shoulder for an evil Dark Lord since he was eleven. For most of the time he had known Harry, the boy had been surrounded by death, dismay, and, lately, kept from sleep by visions of torture. Perhaps they had been wrong about Harry. Maybe there he should not have sunk into himself the way he had; maybe Remus was right. It might be that something in his life caused him to do that. Or it could merely be the lack of magic in this world that allowed Harry to be so carefree. It was a subject that deserved speculation, Sirius decided abruptly.

Lily laughed with the two children as she made them some hot chocolate. Apparently, while Sirius was lost in his musings, they had decided to watch something on the television before Sirius and Harry walked Hermione home. He liked it when Lily was happy, even if it was disconcerting to being living with your dead companion's dead wife. It made Sirius realize that there was good out in the world, that life did go on, even if this was not his place and this Lily had never actually faced down the threat of death by the Dark Lord.

He felt guilty somehow, for enjoying his time here. Sirius liked sitting with a family in front of the television, to take his godson to the park, to hold a steady job, to live in a normal apartment. He loved living life. And somehow, someway, he felt that it was wrong. His Moony was not here; he had abandoned the war. He had lost his Harry, his home, and most of his chances to perform magic. There were still many times when he wanted to openly weep for all that he had lost in that terrible battle. Luckily, neither Lily nor Regulus had caught him sobbing lately, but it still happened. Yet, then there were other times, times like this, when he could not imagine living another life.

No, that was wrong. At these times, Sirius did not want to live another life. He was growing comfortable with Lily, now that she finally realized that they would not being having sex anytime soon (though she still woke him with an ever-so-slightly disturbing kiss each morning). Since Harry had returned from school, Sirius liked seeing him after work. For Merlin's sake, he was starting to enjoy the Black family dinners! Of course, he still despised his cousin Bellatrix with a passion, but he found conversing with his other family members to be entertaining.

These were traitorous thoughts and Sirius knew it. Magic, especially old magic as was present in the Archway and Veil, depended greatly upon belief and desire. If he did not desire to leave this place, it was unlikely that he would find the Veil. Such items could be used without magic or belief, but one could only find them with both. When Remus studied it, he had called it an anomally. Sadly for him and unfortunately for Sirius, Remus was never given a chance to study that line of thought in the Department of Mysteries. He had only recently realized the strangeness of that occurrence when the Ministry fired him. Sometimes they had wondered if Remus had been removed from the Ministry payroll as much for his innate curiousity as for being a lycanthrope.

Despite his misthoughts and moral meanderings, Sirius found a great deal of comfort in sitting on the couch next to Lily while Harry and Hermione threw small pieces of food at each other from their respective arm chairs. As his sipped on his own hot chocolate (and almost spit out the whipping cream he had not noticed), he wondered what everyone back home would think of this. He missed them desperately and hoped that they were working hard to bring him back home. Sirius wondered if their heartfelt desire to have him back in their lives would make up for his doubts about the importance of returning. If that were true, it would make his life infinitely easier.

When it finally came time for Hermione to go home, it was well after dark and Sirius could see the stars beyond the haze of the city lights. The half- moon was a warm golden white and he was pleased to merely walk with the teenagers and watch the sky.

"Do you know astronomy?" Hermione asked him suddenly.

Sirius, startled out of his reverie, smiled at her. "Of course, I do. I assume you know it, as well?"

She smiled back at him and nodded. "You were watching the sky and I just wondered."

"My favorite constellation is Orion," he told her, pointing to that set of stars. "I was named for that star, right there. It's the brightest star in the sky."

"Wasn't Aunt Bella named after one of them?" Harry asked, curious.

"Yep, see that one right over there, a little above mine?" Sirius directed their eyes to a softly glowing star, not as bright as Canis Major Alpha. "It's called Bellatrix: the female warrior."

The entire long, long walk home, Sirius pointed out all of the major constellations in the sky to the two teenagers. During his long days on the run, he had long enjoyed the night sky and it gave him a sense of satisfaction to share his knowledge with others. He spoke briefly with Luke and Diana at the Granger household. On the way home, he talked to Harry about the meanings of the planets and constellations in the sky.