Three O'clock in the Morning

Three O'clock in the Morning

In the real dark night of the soul it is always three o'clock in the morning. - F. Scott Fitzgerald

With Soup

Worries go down better with soup than without. - Jewish Proverb

Remus and Peter had spent the better part of two hours watching Harry, Severus, and Sirius do absolutely nothing. And it scared them. At one point Severus had taken to wandering about the room, poking various objects, but he desisted when Sirius started chortling. Peter thought he heard the words "purple corset," but Remus insisted that Sirius had said no such thing. Sirius spent his time brooding and staring out the window, onto the street, as if it were the most fascinating thing in the world. Harry had his head buried in a book; Remus was worried at one point that his glasses might fall off the edge of his nose. This was not unusual behavior for Harry - he was the archetypical bookworm - but it was unusual for Sirius, who rarely let him read for so long if there was company.

They began to feel uncomfortable, watching the dark-haired men, after a time. Remus tried to initiate some basic chitchat, but Harry and Sirius did not notice and, as always, Snape responded coolly. He exchanged a glance with Peter that said 'Something is definitely wrong here - but what?'

The growing tension was immediately relieved when Lily called them together for dinner. She had been watching her husband and stepson, cautiously, from the kitchenette, almost dropping the butcher knife when she heard Sirius introduce Severus. She remembered him from school. He had been in the same year as the rest of them, but, because he was bookish and sour, had never been their friend. In fact, James and Sirius had gone out of their way on more than one occasion to torture the man. Lily saw what Peter and Remus missed. Severus was shooting quiet glances at Sirius and touching his hair. She thought that it was a bit odd; did Severus have a crush on her husband? No, no, that could not be it. Sirius was known for his intolerance for homosexuality, even when they had been in school. There had to be a logical reason for why Severus was doing that, even if she did not know what.

"Dinner," she called musically. Remus and Peter sat at their normal places. The poor dears, Lily thought. They shared a flat a few streets down (not that Remus spent much time there) and the two of them could burn water without trying, so Lily and Sirius always had them stay for Saturday night dinner. Lily just wanted them to get at least one decent meal a week. No one noticed that Harry had to point his stepfather to his seat at the head of the table. Severus discreetly sat himself down next to Harry, who had thankfully left his book on the coffee table.

Lily set out the salad and served everyone their meals, some sort of meat with a potato and carrots on every plate before sitting down herself. Sirius stared at the plate hungrily. He had not had this much food in one day since the night Lily and James had died. He felt a pang in his heart, but his mouth still watered.

Lily turned her emerald eyes to her husband. "Grace, dear?"

Sirius blinked at her. Oh shit. He remembered that some particularly religious Muggles would say a prayer before eating. And he did not know any prayers. His family, the evil scum that they were, had not been very big on God or religion. "Why doesn't Harry say grace, then?"

Lowering his eyes and putting his hands together, Harry murmured, "Bless us, oh Lord, and these thy gifts which we are about to receive from thy bounty through Jesus Christ, our Lord, amen."

Sirius raised a sardonic eyebrow at his godson before digging into his meat. It was delicious: he had not had food like this since before Harry was born. Remus could not cook for the life of him and had never allowed Sirius anywhere near the kitchen. Lily had always been good at Muggle style cooking, but never had the time to do anything fancy after she had the baby.

Across the table, Lily smiled at her husband. He seemed to have gotten over whatever was wrong with him the night before. Perhaps he had just been drunk. No matter, he was happy and sober tonight.

Pausing to catch his breath, Sirius looked at Lily with a grin that took her breath away. "This is delicious! What is it?"

Lily giggled. He had not looked at her like that in years. "It's your favorite, dear. Venison."

Sirius froze and dropped the fork he had raised to his mouth. The rest of the table had stopped eating to stare at the Black patriarch. "Venison?"

Lily nodded silently.

"Siri," Peter said from his place next to him, "it's your favorite. You love venison. Lily made it especially for you.

Sirius turned a peculiar shade of green and bolted to the bathroom. Severus looked at the various confused-looking people sitting at the table, rose, and headed to the bathroom to see what was wrong with the wizard.

There seemed to be a number of things wrong with the wizard. At the moment he was crouched on the floor in front of the toilet, having vomited his dinner only seconds earlier, and muttering to himself. He was also shaking and ringing his hands.

Wondering if this was normal behavior for a wizard, Severus asked, "What's wrong?"

Sirius stared at the dark haired man. "Venison! I ate venison!"

"Is it against custom for you to eat venison? Or religion?"

"Have mercy on me, I ate venison!"

"What's wrong with eating it? It's really something of a delicacy."

"I haven't eaten it since before fifth year. Since."

"Since what?"

Sirius sighed. "You saw how I can turn into a Grim and I told you Peter can Transfigure himself into a rat. Well, we became Animagi because Remus is a werewolf. If we were animals he couldn't pass his curse to us the way he can if we're human. James was an Animagi, too. He was a stag. A stag! He was a stag!" Sirius wailed.

With a cautious eye to the bathroom door, Severus shushed Sirius. "Shh. You didn't know."

A single tear ran down Sirius' cheek. "We made a pact that we would never eat the meat of the Animagus shape of a Marauder. It's the ultimate betrayal."

"Well, that's not particularly hard. Don't eat dog meat. Don't eat rats. James was the only hard one."

Sirius blushed.

"You've eaten dog?" Severus blanched.

"Rat."

Severus thought he would be ill.

"It was after Peter betrayed us all. And only so I could look after Harry," Sirius defended. "And I was a wanted convict, couldn't exactly go to the market for bread and eggs, now could I?"

Severus raised his hands in defeat. "Far be it from me to comment on your taste in foods."

Sirius stood and walked to the sink to brush his teeth. He could still taste the venison.

After about five minutes, Severus sat down on the heater. "You're going to tear your gums to shreds if you keep that up."

Sirius put the toothbrush down and Severus almost felt bad when he saw the pained look in the other man's eyes. "I can still taste the venison," Sirius whispered.

Not really knowing how to comfort a man who had once made his life a living Hell, Severus only said, "We need to get back to the table. The others will wonder what's going on. What are you going to tell them? You can't very well give them the explanation you gave me."

Sirius spat five times into the sink. "I'll tell them that my lunch didn't sit well with me."

Severus shrugged. He did not think that would go over well, not with the fuss Sirius had made over the meat, but he did not have any Earth- shattering ideas, either.

When the two men returned to the outer rooms of the flat, everyone stopped what they were doing to look at them. Sirius inwardly cringed at the hurt that was evident on Lily's face, but the strange, suspicious looks Peter and Remus bore were more heart wrenching. He could not do this. He could not sit and have a pleasant desert with the scum that killed so many people. He could not look at his best friend's dead wife as if she were his. He could not ask his lover to pass the teapot as if nothing had ever happened between them. He could not live with his only ally being Severus Snape. He could not see the fear in Harry's eye and pretend he did not notice. He could not live without magic. He could not pretend that his life did not happen.

Severus tensed when he saw Sirius take a step back. He gave the man a gentle shove forward. Sirius tottered slightly, as if he were not used to standing on two legs, and gave the people at the table a weak smile. "Hullo. Sorry 'bout that. Food didn't agree with me."

"So it would seem," Remus murmured. Then the man flinched under the glare Severus shot him. What was going on?

"I don't think I'll be eating anything more tonight," Sirius continued, ignoring Remus' comments.

"Honey," Lily began, "I'm not sure that's healthy. You need to eat. I'll make you some toast."

"No."

"Really, Siri, you need to eat something. You ate lunch hours ago," Remus said coaxingly.

"No, I don't think I could stomach anything more tonight." Sirius shrugged. "I've gone on less, anyway."

Peter and Remus only exchanged looks that Sirius could not read and Lily puttered around the kitchenette. Harry was already curled up on the couch, again, with his book in hand. His heart saddened when he did not understand the look Remus gave Peter. Only yesterday Remus was an open-book to him, and vice-versa. He was not sure he liked this dimension-hopping game.

Sirius spent the rest of the evening playing a game called "Trouble" with his friends and his 'new' family. At first he did not understand the confusing board game at all, but after a few subtle hints from Harry and Severus, he understood. By the end of the night, he won the game. Sirius was quite proud of himself.

As Severus rose to leave, Sirius insisted on walking the man to the train station. That got him a few strange looks, but no one said anything. It seemed that they were almost afraid of him.

It may have been spring, but the night air was chilly. Severus turned up the collar of his coat against the slight wind. Sirius, having forgotten a jacket entirely, enjoyed the freedom of the night. "Why are you here?"

"What?"

"Why are you walking me to the train station?"

"So I can pump you for information."

"Delightful."

"Quite. What do I do for a living? As far as I can tell, Lily doesn't have a job, so I must work somewhere."

"Why would Lily have a job?" Severus asked incredulously.

Sirius stared at the man. "Why wouldn't she?"

"You don't let her have a job. At least, that's what Lucius says. You think her place is as a housewife."

Sirius snorted. "I don't really like my counterpart that much, I don't think. Anyway, what do I do for work?"

"You work at Black Funeral Home. It's an old family business. It was started by your great-grandfather, Marius Black. Or, that's what the sign says by the door. Anyway, you co-own it with Regulus. Inherited it, more like. The way you lorded it over us at school."

"Co-own?"

"You cover the clerical half of the business - keeping track of the money, keeping track of the bodies, keeping track of family members. Basically, you compute data all day. Or so Remus and Lucius say."

"Right. You feel like telling the resident wizard what that means?"

Severus tried to explain computers, money, and everything else to a very confused Sirius, but only confounded the wizard even more. He ended up promising Sirius he would come back to the flat the next day and show him how to use a computer. Sirius returned home reciting the word "computer" and the names of the software he used.

As he walked into the flat, Remus and Peter were just putting their coats on.

"Oh, Siri, you're back," Remus greeted. "This was a lovely evening. I hope your stomach is feeling better."

Sirius turned a lovely shade of green, remembered the incident at supper.

"We'd best be leaving," Peter said, patting his tall friend on the back. "Oh, and, Lily, we'll be seeing you at church tomorrow?"

"Church?" Sirius asked, perking up. He'd always wanted to see a real Muggle church. Never in his life had he been inside one during a real religious service. "We'll see you then!"

Casting more strange glances at their friend, Remus and Peter left.

Lily was finishing cleaning the kitchen. "You want to come to church with us tomorrow?"

"Of course I do," Sirius replied, flipping through Harry's mythology book.

Lily stared at her husband for a moment. He was acting stranger by the minute. Between Severus Snape, Harry, the venison, and now church, he could have been an absolute stranger. Except, he was Sirius Black and Sirius Black was her husband. "Come on, then. We'd best be getting to bed if we want to get up in time for church tomorrow."

Bed? Sirius thought. We?