Weasley, Ron Weasley

Chapter Three: Let's Play Poker!

Ah, M.A.T.D.A. Such a lovely sterile white building. I knew that Harry, Ginny, and I would enter in normal clothes and come out looking ridiculous. Or at least, come out looking like completely different people. That was their job, and they did it well.

We entered through the front door and were instantly descended upon by security wizards.

"Identify now!" one cried, brandishing a wand.

"Agents Flash, Rook, and Rose," I said. "Let us pass."

"How do we know you are who you say you are?" the other asked. He lowered his wand slightly, though.

I signaled to Harry who sighed. He parted his fringe and revealed the lightening bolt scar.

"I am Harry Potter, password Prongs."

Ginny stepped forward. "I am Virginia Weasley, password Basilisk."

"And I am Ron Weasley, password Checkmate."

The guards conferred. "Alright, you check out. Proceed to the Chamber."

In the Chamber, which Ginny once told me caused her to have nightmares, we were frisked. Our arms were inspected thoroughly, they cast spells on our wands, and eventually told us we could proceed. Finally we were in M.A.T.D.A. Security in M.A.T.D.A. is light because security guards and cameras would be superfluous. M.A.T.D.A. is a labyrinth; there are thousands of corridors and rooms. If you don't know your way around, you'd die of thirst and starvation eventually. Fortunately, Harry, Ginny, and I knew precisely where we were going.

We had been told to report to Makeup. Makeup wasn't only where they changed appearances, but where they 'made up' identities for the agents. I was very curious about Makeup, because the head of the department was a witch who had never been seen. Supposedly she was taking a hand in this particular mission.

We were shown into a room which resembled a hair salon. I eyed the bottles of dye with apprehension. I was rather fond of my red hair.

When the mysterious Agent Light entered, I was surprised. She looked like an ordinary, albeit tiny, woman. She had long black hair and Asian facial structure. Even though I've been to many parts of Asia, I couldn't place her. She had to be in her fifties, although she was still very attractive. She smiled at us and beckoned for us to take a seat.

"I am Agent Light. We would like this mission to go as smoothly as possible, but owing to certain conditions, much of it will be done the muggle way." She smiled at our confused looks. "The Lucky Clover Casino requests that you check your wands at the door. This is to prevent cheating and violence."

"You want us to go in there unarmed?" I asked, disbelieving.

"Who said anything about being unarmed?" she replied. She picked up a box and opened it. Inside were three guns, handguns. They were different sizes, two being larger and one smaller.

"You will each be armed with one of these to be on your person at all times in the casino. But I urge you not to use them unless absolutely necessary. It will draw unnecessary attention to you. I assume you know how to shoot these?" She raised one eyebrow.

"We've had some training," Ginny replied, a trifle paler than before.

"Good," Agent Light said. "Then let's move on. I am going to give you your identities and you will practice them while we alter your appearances. I will be doing your hair the muggle way, with hair dye, but I will also use a spell, so that if you need to remove it, you may say 'finite incantatem'. Are there any questions?"

"No," Harry said. "Let's do this."

"Alright. Flash, Rose, you are now going to be Mr. John Walters and Mrs. Mary Walters. You are newlyweds on your honeymoon."

"Honeymoon?" Harry repeated blankly.

"Yes. You will arrive an hour earlier than Rook and check into a hotel room we have reserved for you. It's the honeymoon suite. Wait one hour. There will be a car downstairs which will take you to the casino. I want you all there at the same time. Now remember this, this is your first trip to Monaco. Flash, you speak French, but it is heavily accented and rather stilted. Rose, you know only a few words. Neither of you speak Italian. Do not give yourselves away by speaking perfect French or Italian."

Ginny and Harry nodded. "What then?" Ginny asked.

"Once you are at the casino, you will relinquish your wands and enter. Find Malfoy. He will most likely be accompanied by Vincent Crabbe, Gregory Goyle, Pansy Parkinson, and Blaise Zabini. None of them are of any importance. You will integrate yourselves into their group. Flash, take care of the men, Rose, you will handle the women. Knock them out, tie them up. We can't have them getting in the way. Once they are subdued, the two of you will converge on Malfoy. Drug him, and capture him. That's all."

"What about me?" I asked.

Light turned to me. "Rook, you, posing as a middle-aged business man, will drive up to the casino in that wonderful car of yours." I started to ask a question, but she waved it away. "We will have the car brought over, don't worry. Your name is Henri D'Arcady, you live in Marseilles and you sell top of the line broomsticks. Upon entering the Lucky Clover, you as well will check your wand. Wander around a bit, play cards. Half an hour after you've entered, proceed to the back of the casino. There will be a door labeled 'Employees Only'. It should be guarded. Repeat these words to the guard. 'I see that the stakes are high tonight.' He should respond, 'It depends on what you're playing.' Upon which you will say, 'Russian Roulette.' This should give you leave to enter. If this doesn't work it will be up to you to get past him."

"No problem," I replied, thinking of Dad's compressed 'Stupefy' hex.

Light smiled. "No doubt Arthur has already equipped you with his inventions. Alright, now, once inside, continue down the hallway until you reach another door. Behind this door will be the meeting. We will equip you with a briefcase which will contain the money--"

I interrupted. "I'm supposed to walk into this casino with a briefcase full of money? Don't you think it will be searched?"

"It will be charmed. Give us some credit, Rook."

"Sorry," I apologized.

"They are going to try to get the money and keep the book. It's how the criminals work. Your job is to get the book. Preferably, you steal it and keep the money, but if plans go awry, sacrifice the money. That about covers it. Let's make you up. Vincenzo, you take Rose. Melony, you take Rook, and I will deal with Flash."

I was separated from my companions after that. Melony took me to another room and explained what she was going to do to me.

"I am dying your hair brown," she said in a light French accent. "Zen I will give you blue eyes. I must remove zee freckles and I will make your nose longer."

I simply nodded and let her work her magic. Her soft hands gently massaged my scalp, strange smells filled my nose, and my head felt tingly. She pointed her wand in my eyes and zapped away my brown irises. Then she charmed away my freckles and added some sort of putty to my nose. When she was finished, I looked in the mirror.

If I hadn't known it was me, I would never have guessed. I had slightly shaggy light brown hair, blue eyes, and a long nose. My skin was a few shades darker and my freckles were gone. I couldn't wait to see the others.

I went back into the main salon just as Harry was entering. At least, I think it was Harry.

"Merlin help us, Harry!" I exclaimed. "You're blonde!"

Harry could have been Draco Malfoy's brother. His hair and eyebrows were pale blonde. His forehead was clear, and his hair was spiked. His eyes were dark brown and his glasses were gone.

"Shut up, Ron," the stranger replied. "I look ridiculous."

Light was following behind him. "You don't know how hard it was to change him. Every inch of him resisted. The eyes were the hardest, so he's wearing contact lenses. Where's Rose?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Hey, Harry, do blondes have more fun?"

He shot me a glare that could wither a tree. "I will kill you if you make one more blonde joke. Ginny will probably laugh hysterically when she sees me."

I nodded in agreement. "But the important thing is that you don't look like Harry Potter. I'm sure Ginny won't laugh too hard."

"Ginny won't laugh at all," said a glum voice. "Because she looks just as ridiculous."

Ginny entered the room followed by her stylist, Vincenzo. I gaped at my sister. She looked completely different, which I assume was the point.

"Ginny, your hair! Your long red hair! It's all gone!" I gasped.

She smiled faintly. "Vin assured me I can make it grow back." She shrugged. "It was necessary."

Her once long red hair was chopped off all the way to the nape of her neck. It was brown, shades darker than mine with red streaks. Her eyes were pale green and her freckles had also disappeared. She was quite attractive in an odd way, but it was such a drastic change that neither Harry nor I could stop staring.

She looked from me to Harry. "Is it that bad?"

Harry swallowed. "No, it's just different."

"That's the point," Light said. "Come take your seats. We must practice. Now, since you will not have your wands, I am giving you these." She held up tiny little pieces. "These are communicating devices which you will place in your ears. It will allow you to communicate with each other only. Do not forget, use only your code names. Harry, Virginia, and Ron do not exist tonight. Understood?" We all nodded. "Good. Flash, you first."

Harry nodded. "Good evening, old boy," he said in a heavy cockney accent. "I say, can you tell me where I might find the Craps table?"

Light nodded at Ginny. "John, darling," she said. Her accent was also cockney, but much more high pitched. "Ooh, look they've got crab cakes, isn't that fab!" she screeched.

My turn. I cleared my throat and launched into my French. "Bon soir, je m'appelle Henri D'Arcady. Je vend les balais et je dois dire que j'adore le roulette." *

"Bon," Light said with a small smile. "Now for the questions. Rose, what was your wedding like?"

Somehow Ginny had gotten a hold of some gum which she snapped. "Oh, doll, it was the most! Personal, you know? Family and close friends, but we had such a lovely time. Isn't that right, John, darling?"

"Righto, Mary dearest," Harry replied, nodding. "Smashing time was had by all, I'd say."

Light nodded pensively. She turned to me. "Rook, where do you live and for whom do you work?"

"J'habite sur la rue de Fleurs, Paris. Je travaille pour le Cleansweep Balais Co." **

Light nodded. "Let's keep this simple. Speak English with a heavy accent and use French only when you encounter someone who doesn't speak English. Avoid using Italian. I think that takes care of identities. Let's get you into costume."

We were taken to yet another room in the Makeup department. This one was filled with clothing. Since Monte Carlo is also a muggle city and houses a muggle casino, witches and wizards wore muggle clothing while in Monte Carlo. Light snapped her fingers and clothing flew off the racks.

"Rose, you and Flash will arrive in normal muggle clothes. Once you have checked into your hotel, you will change into this." She held up a very lovely red dress. Ginny immediately held up a hand before she remembered her hair wasn't red anymore.

"Flash, you and Rook will wear tuxedos inside the casino. Rook, you can put yours on now. Remember, keep your guns close. Rose, you'll keep yours in your handbag. Is everything clear? Are there any questions?" Light asked.

We all shook our heads. I retired to another room to get into a tuxedo. Once I figured out what to do with the cummerbund, I was set. I stuck my gun into my inside pocket, placed all the gadgets Dad gave me into my left shoe, and went to the Transportation Department. I was greeted by a very tall wizard who appeared to be half my age.

"Agent Rook, I presume?" He snorted and chuckled; I rolled my eyes. "Good. I'm Agent Cosmo. Your Portkey is ready." He showed me an old soda can. "But it doesn't leave for another hour."

"What am I supposed to do for an hour?" I asked.

Cosmo looked down at his feet and fidgeted. "Er, well, we could play chess."

I stared at him. "You do know why they call me Rook, don't you?"

* * *

Several chess games later (which I won, naturally) my Portkey was ready to leave. I adjusted my cummerbund and Agent Light came to see me off.

"Good luck, Agent Rook," she said solemnly. "Be careful."

I smiled. "I'm always careful. Now, my car will be there when I get there?"

She nodded. "Yes, you must drive up to the casino in it. It is important that you give a pretense of wealth. Here is the briefcase with the money in it. Be careful with it, Rook."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm always careful when carrying a fortune in a briefcase."

Light tossed me the soda can. "Alright then. Good luck."

I felt a pulling sensation on my navel and was instantly sucked away. I started spinning and fell out right into the backseat of my car; the briefcase fell on top of me, winding me. Fortunately, both the car and I were in okay, although I would end up with a bruise. I clambered into the front seat and stuck the key into the ignition.

"Good evening, Mr. Weasley."

I jumped. Dad hadn't told me that the car talked.

"Where would you like to go?"

I took a look around and realized I was on a deserted stretch of highway, hopefully close to Monte Carlo. After I adjusted my bow tie in the rearview mirror and ran my fingers through my false brown hair, I spoke.

"The Lucky Clover Casino, please." The car took off. I was amazed, really, I didn't have to steer or anything. But to avoid scaring any muggles who might have been on the road, I kept my hands on the wheel. But not having to concentrate on the road gave me time to think.

Hermione. Damn that woman, coming into my life again after ten years with no explanation. And what the hell was she doing with Malfoy?

I had to keep my wits about me, I wasn't dealing with amateurs. These people would be very dangerous, and most likely not as stupid as Malfoy's entourage or any of the Death Eaters I had encountered. I had to be careful.

The car pulled up directly in front of the casino and the valet took it away. I straightened my tie again, and entered.

It was very busy and crowded. Hundreds of witches and wizards were there and none of them gave me a second glance. The security wizards at the front confiscated my wand, promising I'd get it back after I left. I felt naked without it. The pressure of the gun inside my jacket reassured me somewhat. Then they inspected the briefcase.

I don't know what they saw, but they waved me through. I was inside. As casually as possible I made my way to the bar. First things first; I wanted alcohol. Once I was seated on a bar stool, I loosened my tie and tapped my ear piece.

"Flash, Rose, are you here?" I muttered under my breath, doing my best to subvocalize.

"We're...here," said a crackling voice in my ear. It wasn't very clear; I couldn't tell whether that was Harry or Ginny.

"Good," I replied, and ordered myself a drink. It wouldn't be my last.

With my martini in hand, I wandered over to the craps table. I had just taken a sip of my drink and choked. Shit! She was here!

I had a sudden urge to duck under the table, but remembering I was in disguise, I restrained myself. I pretended my shoelace was untied and bent down to fix it, keeping my eyes focused on Malfoy--and Hermione.

The usual group was there, Crabbe, Goyle, Blaise, and Pansy. Hermione was on Draco's arm, however, smiling languidly and giggling in his ear. I felt a funny sensation in my stomach.

Slowly getting up, I tried to formulate a plan. I'm usually quite good at forming plans at the last second, but Hermione's presence was muddling my brain. I had to get her away from Malfoy, or Harry and Ginny would see her and everything would be ruined.

It must have been the alcohol, I blame everything on the alcohol. But I quickly reached up, removed my ear piece, and placed it in my pocket. Then I went over to Malfoy.

"Pardonez-moi," I said in my impeccable French accent. If I hadn't been out of my mind, I might have found the looks on their faces amusing. Hermione was merely taken aback, but Malfoy looked at me as he would something on the bottom of his shoe. "Mais, I believe we 'ave met." I was addressing Hermione.

"Uh, no, I think not," she replied, glancing at Malfoy to see his reaction. "You must have me confused with someone else."

"Pardonez, mais, ze name Norber' does not ring any bells?"

Her eyes opened very wide, but before she could reply, Malfoy interrupted.

"Look, if the lady said she doesn't know you, she doesn't know you. Let's go, Lila."

He pulled on her arm, but she pulled free of his grasp. "Wait! I do remember you, Sir. Come let us have a drink." Noticing Malfoy's angry expression, she hastily added, "I'll only be gone a minute, darling, why don't you go play poker? You love that game."

Malfoy regarded her suspiciously for a moment before nodding curtly. He signaled to the rest of the group to follow him. As Blaise passed me she gave me a long lingering look, and the corners of her lips curved up into a smile, like a self-satisfied cat.

I grabbed Hermione's arm and pulled her away. We had just reached a corner of the room when she pulled away from me and slapped me hard across the face.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she hissed.

There was a funny ringing in my ears. "What is it about me that makes you feel like hitting me?"

"Your tendency to show up places you shouldn't!" she said, anger abating slightly. "Why are you here? Are you determined to ruin everything?"

"I'm here to save your neck!" I snapped. "Harry and Ginny are here too and your presence is putting us all in danger!"

"Harry and Ginny," she repeated blankly. "Oh, no."

"Yes! If they see you, they'll think you're one of Malfoy's group, and that will cause a lot of problems! Now do us a favor and tell 'Draco' that you're ill and need to leave. You can't be near him tonight!"

"But--" Hermione protested.

"Just do it!" I said firmly. "For once in your life, don't question me!"

To my immense surprise, she didn't argue. She just turned away meekly and headed for Malfoy. I should have known better, I really should have, but I was late for the meeting.

Picking up my briefcase, I found the door marked 'Employees Only'. Just as Light said, there was a very large man guarding the door. I cleared my throat and strode purposely forward.

"I see ze stakes are 'igh tonight," I said, resuming my accent.

He snorted and scratched his side. "Depends on whatcher playin'."

"Russian Roulette."

He gave me a long look and I thought I was going to have to pull out that little metal cannister, when he stepped aside with a grunt and a snort and I stepped inside. I found myself facing a long and empty corridor. I quickly put my ear piece back in and tapped it.

"Alright," I said, "I'm in."

"Rook!" said a very upset voice. "Why did you take out your earpiece? We were worried!"

"I'm fine, Rose, it got dislodged." There was steady breathing from her end, so I knew she accepted that. "Do you have Malfoy yet?"

"No." Static and a crackle. "...dealing with the others. Flash is getting drinks. Good luck."

"Thanks."

I continued down the hallway until I reached a steel door. My hand on the knob, I discovered that it turned easily. I pushed it open and entered the room.

I had walked directly into a den of snakes. And sitting at the head of the table was none other than Lucius Malfoy.

Fuck.

My composure slipped for a moment and I was extremely grateful for the disguise. Lucius looked up at me and smiled sinisterly.

"Monsieur D'Arcady, I presume," he said smoothly.

"Oui," I replied. I had killed the man, I knew I had!

"Bon," he said with a small smile that made me suspect he was up to something. "We have the book, do you have the money?"

"Not quite zo fast," I said. "Zere is information zat comes wiz the money. Where did you get ze book?"

"Egypt," Lucius replied coldly. He snapped his fingers and two of the men seated at the table stood up and came towards me. "I assume the money's in the briefcase. Take it."

One held my arms back while the other grabbed the briefcase, but knowing what they had in mind, I kicked the guy holding me then as he stumbled, I flipped him over my head. I grabbed the briefcase from the second man, tripped him, then kicked him in the jaw, knocking him unconscious.

Then I realized my mistake.

Lucius Malfoy was still smiling and slowly he began to applaud. I stiffened; no broomstick salesman knew how to kickbox. I had just blown my cover.

"I assumed they would send you, Mr. Weasley. You are their top agent, are you not? I have long looked forward to this meeting." He pulled out a wand and waved it in my direction. "Finite Incantatem. There, that's better."

I was Ron Weasley once again, red hair, brown eyes, and freckles. And I was in a hell of a lot of trouble.

"It's nice to see you again, Lucius. And to think, I thought you were dead," I said as calmly as possibly.

"Who was it who said, 'Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated'?" He slowly stood up. "I feel much better."

He made it sound as if he had had the stomach flu. "Well, I suppose I had better kill you now."

Lucius chuckled evilly. "Don't bother reaching for your gun, Mr. Weasley."

I felt a prickling sensation on the back of my neck, then I felt a sharp jab with a thin piece of wood, a wand. Turning slowly I came face to face with Rita Skeeter.

"Of course, like father like son," I said, completely losing it. "Hello, Miss Skeeter, slow news day?"

She slapped me sharply across the face. What was it about me that made women want to hit me?

"That's enough, Rita," Lucius snapped. "He needs to be conscious."

"For what, may I ask?" I asked politely.

"To give us information," Rita said, looking like Christmas had come early.

"Do you honestly think I'll just tell you everything you want to know?" I asked incredulously.

"Of course not," Lucius said. "You're not stupid. We'll have to torture it out of you."

He said this so matter-of-factly that I wasn't sure I heard him correctly. This seemed like some sort of twisted dream, except that I was fully clothed. In most of my dreams I ended up in my boxers.

Rita grabbed my arm, her wand still pointed at my chest, and Lucius came and relieved me of my gun. I hadn't even gotten a chance to shoot it. But I suddenly remembered the other gadgets that Dad had made me. I couldn't get to my shoes, but there was the clip/recorder. I managed to switch it on without Lucius noticing and cleared my throat.

"So, Lucius, not that I'm not delighted to see you, what the hell are you doing here alive?"

He turned to me, a thoughtful look on his face. "Taking over the world."

Of course. Stupid. "How?"

"He's going to raise an army of zombies," Rita said proudly. "With the Book of the Dead."

"Ah, I see. And this was a set up." That wasn't a question; I had walked directly into his trap. I told Sirius that if the Death Eaters had a book that raised the dead, they weren't just going to sell it.

"Just as my son Draco is leading your friends into a trap as we speak."

I had to call on every trick I had learned to keep my temper in check. Lucius was wrong--I was stupid. Harry, Ginny, and I walked directly into his hands. He had played us like a fiddle and the tune wasn't pretty.

The door squeaked open again, and Draco Malfoy entered. He was wearing his usual smirk and walked with an extra bounce in his step.

I lunged for him. "Why, you sanctimonious prick! I'll kill you!"

Malfoy's eyes widened in surprise and he took a step back. "Father, do something!"

Lucius looked at him. "Why?"

"Because I brought Potter and the girl to you!" he screamed as I came closer. "Don't let him kill me!"

"Then fight back," Lucius said lazily. "Take care of him, Draco, and I'll see to it that you are rewarded." He offered his arm to Rita and together they left the room. I focused my rage on Malfoy.

"I always knew you were a rat-faced coward," I growled. "But even I thought that there was more to you than Daddy's little kiss-arse." I grabbed the front of his robes and punched him hard in the nose; it started bleeding heavily. Then I dropped him to the floor. I was just about to hit him again when he spoke.

Malfoy's eyes went cold. "If you kill me, you'll never see your friends again."

I stopped dead in my tracks. "What do you mean?"

But we were interrupted. The door opened again and Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy, and Blaise entered.

"We delivered them to your father, Draco," Blaise purred. "Come, let's bring him."

Crabbe and Goyle instantly took me by the arms. I struggled, but to no avail; they were strong. Stupid, but strong. Blaise's eyes traveled up and down my body and I couldn't help thinking, "Great, I'm the Malfoys' prisoner and Blaise is mentally undressing me."

Malfoy got up from the floor, nose still bleeding copiously. He punched me in the eye and then the stomach. I doubled over, winded. My face ached from the slaps and punches. It was just not my day.

"Haul him away," Malfoy rasped. "Get him out of my sight."

They started pulling me from the room, Blaise and Pansy walking directly behind us. I couldn't resist a parting shot; it's not in my nature to play the suffering martyr.

"Hey, Malfoy, where's Lila?"

He turned purple from suppressed rage and hit me again. That time, I blacked out.