The Devil May Care

The Devil May Care

By Dimgwrthien

Sirius paused as he stared at the door. Someone was staring right back at them, looking alarmed. It took him a moment to recognize who it was.

“I’m going to kill you!” Sirius yelled, running at the door. Harry grabbed vainly for him but soon lost his grip as Sirius was at the door, holding Peter Pettigrew by the throat. The man looked the same as ever, not counting the obvious signs of aging around his face.

“Sirius!” Harry yelled after him. “Don’t - who is that?”

“Pettigrew,” Sirius snarled at the man, face close, eyes narrowed. “I’m going to kill you right now -”

“Wait,” Harry said, walking up close. “Wait a minute. You’re here with Snape, aren’t you?”

Peter nodded as Sirius tightened his grip around his throat.

“Then you know where he is, don’t you?” Harry’s eyes widened as he watched the man, thinking over everything he said.

Peter did not move. Sirius’ grip tightened to the point of suffocation and his eyes narrowed into even smaller slits.

Opening his mouth, the short man gasped out, “I - can’t -”

“Spit it out!” Sirius growled, ramming his head into the wall again. Peter gasped in agony. “If you don’t tell us you’re find my hand -”

“He’s trying to talk,” Harry murmured, getting Sirius to become slightly more quiet.

“He’s - out,” Peter gasped, closing his eyes against the pain. Sirius’ grip loosened the smallest bit possible. Taking in another breath, Peter added, “Said something about… Dumbledore and… Moony -”

“Don’t you even call him by that name,” Sirius snarled as Harry asked, “Who?”

Forcing a small laugh, Peter said, “You haven’t even… told him about -”

“What I do is none of your business,” Sirius told him in a venomous voice, dropping Peter onto the floor with disgust. He pulled out his wand before Harry had the chance to stop him. “Ava-”

“Sirius!” Harry yelled, grabbing his arm in time. “You can’t kill him! Don’t -”

Forcing Harry off, Sirius muttered darkly. Peter’s eye snapped shut as he slumped to the ground, limp.

“Sirius -” Harry panted, eyes wide.

Sirius shook his head without being as the question. “I stunned him.” At Harry’s look, he answered, “I can already tell what he’s going to tell us from that. I think we’re just stuck here until -”

There was a loud cracking sound and Harry drew his wand quickly. Sirius smiled grimly, knowing that he was right. However, the person who Apparated in was not who he expected.

Remus panted as he slid slowly to the ground, knees hitting the floor painfully, though he did not seem to notice. His eyes were wide and he glanced up at Sirius.

Sirius ran towards Remus, grabbing him and holding his head close. Harry watched them, still too shocked to speak.

“What the hell just happened?” Sirius demanded. He forced Remus to look him in the eye.

“How’s Harry?” was the first thing Remus asked.

Sirius motioned to Harry, who murmured, “I’m fine, Remus. I’m fine.”

“What happened?” Sirius asked Remus again.

“I - I was - Snape was there -” he panted. He looked unfocused and did not seem to want to talk.

Sirius kept him close in a hug and murmured, “Just start from when you left.” Remus did not say a word. “Please, Remus. Please. Just talk to me. Please.”

Taking in a deep breath, Remus answered in a hurried voice. “I came looking for Snape and there was a Portkey - went to where Snape and Malfoy were. Then -” He gave up on talking and remained motionless except for the flickering of his eyes towards Sirius.

Sirius tightened his grip. “Remus, you’re back with us. It’s safe. Just tell us what happened -”

Remus glanced at Harry then at the floor. “It turns out Voldemort was there, too.”

Taking in a sharp breath, Sirius whispered, “Remus, what happened?”

“He used Cruciatus on me for a little while. Then - then he killed Snape on the spot.”

Harry could understand why Remus seemed so shaken. He took a final glance at Peter and walked over to Remus, imitating Sirius and holding his other side close. Remus gave him a startled look and calmed down as though only recognizing him.

“Snape’s dead?” Sirius asked. Remus nodded. “How did you get out?”

“When Voldemort was killing Snape. He was talking to him. Snape said - he said I should get out as soon as I could.” He closed his eyes. “I think we were wrong in him.”

“He brought you there with that Portkey,” Sirius growled. “He’s not on our side.”

“Dumbledore?” Harry asked. Remus glanced at him. “Did you hear anything about Dumbledore?”

Remus’ look was still blank though his eyes seemed to fog up slightly. “Severus said he’s dead. Voldemort killed him.”

“I think we should get home,” Sirius whispered, grabbing Remus by the arm and helping him up. Harry watched Remus closely. It seemed as though seeing what he really wanted - Snape dead - was taking a toll on him.

Sirius grabbed both of their arms tightly and Harry felt himself sucked into the sky itself, floating into something he remembered clearly and loved with al of his heart.

When they landed, Sirius stumbled a bit, taking in a deep breath. Side-Along Apparating with two people had to be hard, Harry figured, so he grabbed Remus and forced him into the house and into a chair. Sirius sunk into the chair next to him and Harry sat across from them both, watching.

“I have a feeling Voldemort’s going to be coming after us at some point,” Remus said quietly, voice starting to break against his will. “Harry -”

“I refuse to move,” he answered stiffly.

Remus forced a faint smile. “Listen to me. You need to go back to Hogwarts for some time. Minerva will do a better job than any of us could.”

Sirius shook his head. “Remus, Hogwarts is breaking down. They’re loosing control. Everyone’s scared and panicking. Putting Harry there -” He broke off, still shaking his head. “We can’t.”

“It’s better than killing him,” Remus replied shortly. “I’ll -”

“When I said no, I meant it.” Harry straightened in his chair. “I refuse to move. Besides, how much damage could Voldemort do? I know, he killed -” He cleared his throat. “Well, by the sounds of it, he’s still dead to everyone.”

“That’s what makes him worse.” Remus sighed. “If no one believes he’s alive, they’re easier targets.”

“But he doesn’t have a body, does he?” Harry asked blandly.

Sirius turned slowly to Remus. “Did he?”

Remus shook his head. “It was awful. He was on the back of a man’s head. Just - just his face there.” Remus closed his eyes.

“What did the man look like?” Sirius asked, badgering Remus for anything else he could remember.

He did not answer.

“Remus?”

Opening his eyes and looking at Sirius, Remus whispered, “I have no clue.”

Sighing, Sirius asked, “How can you not remember?” Harry looked at Remus, wondering the same thing.

“You have no clue,” Remus murmured. “I was there, and Severus was telling me everything that had happened. Then, he was in there. It was too sudden.”

“Please remember.” Sirius’ voice was pleading as he spoke and tried to meet Remus’ eyes.

Finally, Remus looked him in the eyes, expression fierce. “I told you. I can’t remember it. I have no clue.”

Sirius stood up and sighed again. “I think you ought to sleep for a while. That may help your memory.”

Remus let himself be pulled up from the seat rather roughly and dragged off down the hall. Harry remained at the table, waiting until Sirius was back.

“He’s refusing to sleep now,” Sirius grumbled, putting his head in his hands.

“It shook him up,” Harry whispered. “It would have shaken anyone up. He was in there with Voldemort, remember that.”

Sirius glanced at Harry and the younger boy could see that his eyes were reddened with tears. “That’s what scared me the most. I’m not sure he’s telling the whole truth about Voldemort and what he did. He’s too shaken up for only that.”

“Anyone would be shaken!” Harry repeated. “Imagine seeing someone die.”

“He’s seen it often enough to know what it’s like,” Sirius said shortly. When Harry opened his mouth to ask, Sirius quickly cut in, “Don’t even ask. You’re too young to understand.”

Harry bit his tongue to stop from snapping something back. Instead, he said, “I think it’s stress from seeing it.”

“Well, whatever it is, we need him to remember what happened so that we can get a head start on Voldemort.”

“Just give him time,” Harry reminded him quietly. Sirius gave him another look. “Alright. In two hours you can check on him again, how’s that?” Sirius shrugged. “Good. For now -” Harry placed his own head in his arms. “Right now I want to sleep, too.”

Sirius stood up and patted Harry’s arm. “I think we would all do better after some sleep.”

Harry stalked off into his own room and Sirius walked into where Remus was. The brown-haired man was sitting in the bed, laying on his side, covers high up to his chin.

Sirius crawled into the bed next to him, shrugging the covers over his torso. He wrapped an arm around Remus, casually swinging it over his shoulders. Remus froze under his touch for a moment until his body shuddered back into an awkward motion.

Furrowing his brow, Sirius removed his arm and noticed how Remus looked more relaxed once he did.

“Alright?” he asked cautiously.

Remus rolled onto his side and stared Sirius in the eye. “I - just, don’t touch me for a while,” he muttered, staring down at the blanket.

Sirius sighed again and rolled onto his back. “Remus, are you sure you can’t remember anything about how he looked?”

“I can’t,” he replied stiffly. “Really, Sirius. And asking a million times isn’t going to change that anytime soon.”

“If we had a Pensieve or something,” Sirius was saying over Remus’ voice. “I mean, if we did, you could just go back and look into it -”

“I’d prefer not to see it again.”

Sirius plummeted a fist into the bed, narrowly missing Remus. “It was only Snape -”

“It was only Snape to you,” Remus answered angrily. Sirius turned his head and saw that Remus was glaring at him.

“Are you saying that you and -” Sirius broke off, unable to finish the thought. He grimaced.

“No,” Remus answered in a quietly angry voice. “What I’m saying is that there’s a difference between wishing a person death and actually seeing it. Sirius, it was Severus, damn it. I mean, even if you think he’s on Voldemort’s side, if Voldemort actually killed him -”

Sirius blocked out the end of the sentence. He already knew what Remus was going to say and it terrified him more than he cared to admit. What would he have done to Remus?

“I know, though - Sirius, what he said -”

“What did he say?” Sirius asked rudely.

Remus was silent for a moment. “He said, ‘Leave, you damned werewolf, and tell Minerva that it’s been moved to the End.’”

“What was moved?”

“I have no clue,” Remus answered blandly. “That’s all he said before he died.” He paused for a moment. “It sounds like Hogwarts is in a total uproar, though. Are you sure about it?”

“I don’t think they’re doing too good. Dumbledore is gone; they don’t even know he’s dead right now.”

Remus’ grimaced but quickly hid it. “Please, we have to tell her -”

Sirius sat up, folding his arms as he glared down at Remus. Remus looked almost helpless, the haunted and grim look still on his face. He looked more connected than before, though something still seemed wrong. “Remus, what can we say to her or anyone else? Dumbledore was gone, Snape killed him, you went after him, Voldemort managed to get a body and kill Snape within seconds, then you escaped with an important message.”

“Please -” Remus said weakly.

“No. I refuse to let you go there.”

“I don’t need your permission,” Remus said suddenly, making to stand up. Sirius pushed him back down, keeping his hand on the other man’s shoulder.

“Fine, Remus. We’re going to Hogwarts tomorrow. Just, please, please don’t run out again.” He ran a hand along Remus’ arm, feeling the other man stiffen, eyes wide as he did so. He only pulled back once he was at the thin wrist.

“Please don’t touch me now,” Remus muttered again, averting his eyes from Sirius.

Withdrawing from his friend, Sirius asked, “Remus, what’s wrong now?”

Remus did not answer but leaned back into the pillows, closing his eyes. Sirius sighed and leaned into the pillows himself.

He did not fall asleep immediately, but instead wondered through the loopholes in everything going on.

Harry was with them. Voldemort has always wanted Harry dead. Voldemort has no body. Voldemort is capable of murder. Remus seems to get into the brunt of the action. Harry was in danger. Snape was dead. Dumbledore was dead.

They all woke later than expected, well after the sun took the sky over again. Harry slept in later than the other two, who, rather than walking outside as usual, remained inside. The sunlight filtering through the windows showed the small flecks of dust in the air.

“Morning,” Remus murmured to Sirius. He looked more tired than the night before. He eyes looked strangely wary, however.

“Morning,” Sirius said back. He glanced at Remus quickly. “Do you want me to make breakfast?”

“I will -” Remus said, starting to stand, but Sirius was already wrestling the food from around the kitchen, trying to get it all together on the counter.

“I’ve got it,” he told Remus cheerfully. Remus just nodded and sat back down, watching him closely.

“Harry’s still sleeping,” Remus said quietly. “I think it would be the perfect time for me to go and tell Minerva.”

“No.” Sirius cracked an egg and let it fall into the frying pan. He used the wand to tap the pan and make the egg sizzle. “If anyone goes to tell her, I will. Harry’s going to need you here.”

In all truth, he only said that to stop Remus from running off again.

“You’re better than I am at protecting him,” Remus whispered. “You should stay to make sure nothing happens.” Before Sirius could speak, Remus added, “Voldemort has to be getting stronger. It won’t take much to break down the wards. We’re not -”

“We’re not as good as Dumbledore,” Sirius finished for him once Remus paused.

Remus nodded slightly, staring at the floor again. “We’re not and we all know it. The spells around the house are merely something that it’ll take time to get through with the Death Eaters so that we can get out in time.”

“We can try to get into Hogwarts after breakfast,” Sirius told him, struggling in his cooking. Remus, eventually, gave up and decided to help Sirius with cooking. Harry slept on.

When Sirius managed to dump everything onto the plates in a rather crude manner and leave a warming charm on Harry’s, they sat down. Remus, as he had done so often, picked around his plate, fork rarely coming in contact with his mouth.

“Remus, don’t mope around. Snape’s not worth it.”

Glancing up sharply, Remus replied in a quiet voice, “We’ve talked about this, Sirius. I know you hate Severus, but he’s still -”

“He’s not even on our side!” Sirius said loudly. Remus’ gaze did not waver.

“Sirius, please remember what he last said to me. It sounded as though he risked his entire life just to say that to Minerva. Just remember that before you criticize him.”

“Just eat, Remus,” Sirius sighed, resting his forehead on a hand and giving up. He heard the fork hit the side of the plate and the scrapping of the chair on the floor.

“I’m going to talk to her now, I think,” Remus said. Sirius stood up, resting his own fork on the edge of his plate before pushing his chair in roughly.

“Stay with Harry,” Sirius repeated. “I’ll go.”

“I know exactly what he said,” Remus reminded him carefully. “We could bring Harry, you know.”

“Too risky.”

Remus nodded. “Fine. Come. Make sure we’re back before he wakes or at least tell him we’ve gone.

“I’ll leave a note,” Sirius answered, grabbing his wand and waving it, causing parchment to appear on the table. He conjured up a quill and ink, then quickly scrawled down a note to Harry before straightening up.

Remus walked up to the fireplace, grabbing a small amount of the Floo Powder over the mantle and staring the area down. So many bad things had happened after using the Floo.

He threw the powder in and yelled out the name of the school, but felt a sharp shock in his back as he was thrown to the ground. Behind him in the fireplace was a message written in burning letters.

“’Grate Closed’,” Sirius read, frowning as he helped Remus up. “Damn. Something has to be going on in there for them to close the grates.”

Remus gave the fireplace an odd look as the red letters faded into the air. “I think I may just have to write her. No,” he scolded himself suddenly. “Could be intercepted.”

“We should try walking up again,” Sirius said, leaning on the table as he thought.

Nodding, Remus threw open the door and walked outside. Christmas was still over a week away, but the hints that it was coming were not well-hidden. The stores within eyesight all sported festive lights and trees outside their snow-covered windows.

Once he felt Sirius next to him, Remus Apparated, barely hearing the crack that came a split second after his.

Remus had his gaze fixed to the castle. He was used to the constant sound from around it, but, suddenly, everything was desperately quiet.

“Silence,” Sirius murmured. “See?”

Resting his hands on the gate, Remus drew them back almost a second after with a hiss. “They’ve obviously been putting up spells,” he said quietly, examining his hands. Sirius grabbed them and saw the dark red outlines of the bars on them. Keeping Remus’ hands open in his own, he glanced up at the castle again.

“Minerva!” he yelled as the top of his voice. “Please get out here!”

Nothing. Only silence.

“We’re in a dead man’s tomb, Remus,” Sirius murmured, dropping his friend’s hands. “We really are.”

“I think now is when we can start panicking.”