The Devil May Care

The Devil May Care

By Dimgwrthien

Sirius did not dare move his hand from Remus’ shoulder. Kill Snape himself? Remus had always been the calm one of the group. He was level-headed and managed to get them out of trouble by lying through his teeth and never breaking a sweat. He came up with so many safety plans in case they were caught in a prank.

Now he was shaking slightly, staring at his hands, not even bothering to hide his anger at Snape.

“Remus, please don’t say that,” Harry murmured, eyes wide.

Head turning slightly, Remus replied, “Harry, I’m not going to lie to you. I don’t want to lie to you any more than I need to, and this isn’t something that I -”

“He’s right,” Sirius added fiercly. “Remus, if he even could have killed Dumbledore, you’re signing your own will with this.”

“I don’t care,” Remus told him, closing his eyes. “I’m going after him before he can ruin anything else.”

He was actually on his feet and Sirius made to reach out for his arm, but Remus dodged his grip.

“You can stay. I’d prefer it if you both stayed. But I’m going after him.” And with that, he walked out the door.

Harry did not move. Sirius walked to the younger boy and placed his arms around his shoulders.

“He’s going?” Harry asked numbly.

Sirius nodded just once. “I think he’s serious.”

“Is he coming back?”

There was no answer. Harry sounded heart-broken. Sirius knew that he had to sound the same. Remus would have already Apparated, and there was no way to trace where he went. He was going on a suicide mission to avenge someone who might not even be dead.

“I don’t think so, Harry,” Sirius replied.

Remus had Apparated as soon as he reached outside the house.

Severus Snape killed Albus Dumbledore. Remus had to shiver even when he thought about it. He knew that Voldemort had always been afraid of Dumbledore himself and would never approach the man. However, to have Snape, of all people, be able to kill the best wizard of the century?

It made the man even more fearsome than Voldemort. He had no fear of even Dumbledore.

Remus had not been too close in contact with Dumbledore for years, since the Order of the Phoenix decided they were no longer needed as they were almost all dead and the Dark Lord was gone. However, there was no chance of the man getting weaker in that time, but the contrary.

In his mind, Remus added another person to the Order of the Phoenix’s death toll. It had become something he could refer back to whenever he wanted after a few years. Right after he graduated from school and was shoved into the group, he was surrounded by death. Lily and James, of course, and when he thought Peter was dead. Alice and Frank were almost dead. The Bones were killed, of course, leaving one of their children in another part of the family. She would be somewhere around Harry’ age.

Albus Dumbledore was gone, too, and he was their last hope.

The weight of the past few days fell on Remus’ shoulders and he could actually feel them slump as he landed. He was somewhere in the midst of a dark and damp road with old houses around the grey pavement. He followed the road for a while, finally spotting the spot he wanted.

However, Snape’s house was nowhere to be seen.

Remus tried to search his brain for the address he should have remembered, but nothing came to mind. He could only remember the street.

Fidelius.

Snape would be at his window, invisible to Remus at that moment, watching his every move just as Reus had done earlier.

And Dumbledore could be in there with him.

He stared at where he supposed to house would be and dug further into his memory, knowing that he would never find the answer. The charm would have wiped it all out of his mind. Nothing would bring it up again. It would be as if he had never been there.

But to get Dumbledore in there, Severus would have had to tell him the address.

Dumbledore’s mind worked in strange ways, Remus knew, but he never understood any more than that. The man liked sweets and socks when he was past one hundred years! It was a sign of madness that Remus still needed to learn.

He looked around at the ground, seeing nothing but dirt and gravel. Dumbledore would have had to leave something as a clue…

Remus was on his hands and knees, looking around at everything he could see. Nothing looked disturbed or added as a clue. Maybe the man had been unconscious.

When he raised his head, he saw what he was looking for.

Back where he had last been, Sirius and Harry walked around the house, distracted and unable to think straight.

“Maybe he’s at Hogwarts,” Harry said. “Would Snape be there?”

“After all of that?” Sirius snorted. “I doubt it. He would have run like a coward.”

Harry kicked a wall very lightly and sighed. “He said he wants us to stay here -”

“I’m letting him go alone!” Sirius snarled at Harry, forgetting who he was talking to. “I’ve known him for nearly nineteen years, and I refuse to let him go out and die like that! Snape could kill him -”

“And he could kill Snape,” Harry added, staring at Sirius. “It can go either way. Remus is strong.”

“He still shouldn’t be doing this.”

Harry shook his head. “He shouldn’t be, but he wants to. It doesn’t matter how he’s been acting for a while. You said it yourself; he’s good at hiding things. He really cares about Dumbledore.”

Sirius shrugged and looked longingly at the door. “I think so.”

Harry watched his gaze as it stayed on the door and refused to waver. Maybe it had been too long since Sirius was really free. It sounded as though he was free to some extend. Dumbledore must have managed to convince the Minister, by the hand Remus had seen, that Sirius was really innocent and never murdered anyone. He had been outside before and a lady down the road waved kindly to him.

He was still a prisoner, though. Harry could only imagine what it would be like to be thrown in the prison for so long, and he had no clue of what made the prison different from any other. But the way Sirius acted at times… It took a real toll on him. And now that he was unable to even leave the house without fear of being killed by Death Eaters, it had to be a new form of prison where freedom was only a few feet away.

Sirius reached almost unconscious and grabbed a cloak that lie on the chair. He wrapped it around his shoulders and glanced at Harry. His gaze swept over Danielle once, but dismissed her.

“You’re welcome to stay or come,” he whispered. “I think you have the ability to choose.”

Harry wrapped his hand in Sirius’ larger one.

Remus had no clue that two people were leaving to find him. All he knew was that he found the one thing he had needed to find.

Dumbledore loved sweets, and it would never be below him to have one in hand at all times.

Underneath of a patch of grass was a small wrapper of what looked like a lemon drop. It looked as though some sort of spell had been cast on it and Remus could feel strong vibrations of magic coming off of it. He reached out and touched it, hoping Dumbledore would be leaving a clue.

The air pressed around him as he did, and he felt weightless, flying through the air at the speed of light. He could not remove his fingers from the wrapper and found himself landing on a hard ground where he collapsed on impact.

It was dark inside, all light being filtered by what looked like a curtain of black in front of his face, several feet away. A trace of the light could be seen from through the curtain.

Everything felt hard around him, and Remus reached his arm up the nearest wall, feeling rough wall as though plastering something over with thick paste.

“We were expecting you, but not this quickly,” came a voice. Remus looked in the direction from where it seemed to be coming from and saw a dim outline of a tall man. He had hair that glowed in the darkness, a white or blonde color. “Or - I see. This is the wrong one.”

The man looked over his shoulder at someone else, who stepped forward. He was shorter than the first man and Remus recognized the voice at once.

“How amusing, Lupin. You seem to have the knack for turning up when no one wants you around.” Snape pulled out his wand and murmured a spell, causing a brilliant light to fill the room.

Both were wearing Death Eater masks. The light cast shadows on the white masks that covered their entire faces, making them look like pale imitations of humans.

“Who did you expect?” Remus asked quietly, not daring to stand.

Lucius Malfoy paused and Remus could only guess he was raising his eyebrows. “Telling our enemy? Well, let’s just leave it at ’We weren’t expecting a werewolf of all creatures.’”

Remus did not respond to it but remained silent as he supposed would be the better choice. Memories of his last meeting with Death Eaters told him to keep quiet.

“Where is Albus Dumbledore?” Snape asked, still glaring down at Remus, wand held high over his head.

They didn’t have him.

Thinking fast, Remus answered, “I know where he is, exactly. If you tell me who you were waiting for, I’ll tell you where he is.”

He kept his gaze from Snape’s to make sure the man did not use Occlumency on him. Snape glanced at Lucius and there was silence until Lucius said, “We were waiting for Truman. She knows what we need. Now where is Dumbledore?”

Remus quirked a smile. “You’re lying. You killed her only a while ago.” He pointed to Snape, whose eyes narrowed as he snarled.

“It -”

Lucius shot Snape another look and Snape glared at him instead, keeping silent, obviously chewing on his tongue.

“Our plans are nothing of a werewolf’s concern. Tell us where he is now!”

Remus remained silent and merely slipped a hand behind his back. His wand would be in his belt. He felt the cold wood against his hand and clutched it for when he would be needing it.

Snape watched Remus carefully and his own wand was dropped suddenly as Remus brought his out and aimed at the two, using a nonverbal spell.

Lucius was thrown off of his feet, hitting the wall behind and causing the veil over the window the fall. Sunlight hit Severus, causing him to glow from behind and almost blind Remus. His glare was nothing short of hateful as he aimed his wand at Remus and flicked it, causing Remus to double-over and groan with pain. It felt as though his lungs were being torn apart and his breathing almost caused a spasm in his chest.

When Snape lowered his wand, the pain continued on and Remus pulled his hands away from his chest to see that they were coated in blood. It looked as though Snape had torn a ragged hole in his chest that poured blood over the grey floor.

“Tell us where he is, Lupin!” Snape yelled face contorted in anger.

Gasping for air, Remus aimed his wand again and thought as hard as possible on the spell, mind sweeping away from the pain. Severus was blown off of his feet now like the other man, but did not fall unconscious. Remus took the time when Severus struggled to stand to get to his own feet, walking closer to Severus.

“Where is he?” Remus demanded, voice growing weaker as he fought for breath. Severus was at the point of getting to his feet so Remus, in a moment of rage, cast the spell again, causing Severus to hit the window, breaking it and falling to the floor, showered with glass. He spat some from his mouth and glared up at Lupin. Blood was pouring from his head and he looked pale.

“You have to know where he is!” Remus shouted, feeling nothing but the powerful feeling of anger. The man before him ruined everything he had: he attacked Harry, poisoned Remus, himself, and now - “You used the Polyjuice Potion! You know exactly where he is!”

Severus wiped blood away from his eyes and shouted back, “We have him, yes! He’s dead! The Dark Lord had the chance to do that himself!”

Remus’ wand arm almost dropped. “You betrayed him?”

A smile on his lips so sinister that Remus had trouble believing it was Snape’s face, the man replied, “I would have thought it was obvious before. What do you believe I had been doing? I could have been a much better spy - hiding everything better than I already had. However, I see no reason to waste the effort when no one could pick up such obvious clues. It’s pathetic, the group Dumbledore managed to get. He could have done so much better. If he had an ounce of sense, he would have joined the Death Eaters. We’re Slytherins at heart. We embody the exact message Salazar Slytherin tried to tell the others who were too stupid to listen to him. Wizarding blood should be kept pure, weed out the weak ones. That’s what we are.”

“He doesn’t think that at all,” Remus snarled, laboring for breath. “He thinks everyone has the chance -”

“That’s why he took you under his wing, isn’t it?” Snape asked coldly, raising his eyebrows. “It’ the only reason why you believe it. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be holding that wand. You’re only a werewolf and nothing more. Dumbledore managed to make you think you were something more, something special, something human.”

Remus’ hand was going numb from the grip on his wand. He felt no energy to use another spell but if there was something, anything, to make him stop. However, he continued, a fake and mocking smile gracing his foul lips.

“In fact, I think half of the people he accepts are out of pity, just like you. Hagrid, that half-giant? Pity. Oh, he has no family, he’s not even human. Tell me, how close are you two?” Remus’ jaw tightened and he closed his eyes. Even if he was the one covering Snape with the wand, it felt the opposite of it. “Potter? Dumbledore would have been accepting him to Hogwarts in a few years. Dumbledore’s dead. Potter may die soon, too, if you don’t watch him. He has no family, either. He’s barely human, being raised by you and a dog, of all things.” Severus sneered.

Remus forced his eyes open and saw Severus there, still smiling an insane smile as he listed all the people off. Remus wanted to turn, to run and find Harry again and tell him that he would have been better off with the Dursleys than him. But a new light kindled in his chest as he thought of Harry.

“He accepted you,” Remus said in a low voice, staring Severus down. Severus’ expression froze as Remus spoke. “You were never any better than the rest of us. A half-blood, just like me, like Harry, like Hagrid. You had a family, unlike Hagrid and Harry, but just like me. They never loved you, did they? Everyone could tell, Dumbledore the best of us all. You deserved nothing more than pity. But he took you in. Why? Because he believes everyone deserves a chance, no matter who or what they are.”

Severus opened his mouth, face in the worst expression Remus had ever seen. He looked as though he could have attacked Remus on the spot.

Feeling no pity for the creature before him, Remus murmured, “If it weren’t for him, you wouldn’t have that wand, either.” He motioned to the fallen wand. He bent and picked it up, twirling the thin rod of wood between his fingers and examining it closely.

“Funny, this. Same wood types on our wands, aren’t they? We have more in common than you choose to believe. All Voldemort wants to do is convince you he’s the best, he’s the new Slytherin.”

Silence filled the air again and Remus gave Lucius’ unconscious body the smallest half glance he could. “Him? He’s the model of a Slytherin, perfectly. He came from a pureblood family that loved him to some degree. He’s the one you should be looking up to if you support Voldemort. Now look at where it’s gotten him. Is that what you want, too?

Severus kept quiet instead of answering. Remus guessed he would not answer. His gaze was fixed on Lucius, a sort of pleading in his eyes. Remus noticed it easily.

“Severus - please, don’t go with him.” Remus’ blue eyes rested on Severus’ black ones.

Back in Hogsmeade, Sirius and Harry argued over where to look first.

“He’s going to be looking at Hogwarts,” Sirius said again.

Harry shook his head. “No, he would be looking where Snape lives. It‘s so obvious.”

“That’s the point,” Sirius answered, looking around the snowy ground as though tracks would lead him to where Remus was. “It’s too obvious. Severus would have left there for good by now.”

“At least look,” Harry grumbled. “It’s easier to look there, then at Hogwarts. Hogwarts is going to be a disaster site right now. Everyone’s going to b panicking.”

Sirius paled but nodded. “Grab my arm.”

Harry did so, and the two of them disappeared into the air, the air closing around them and drowning the men.

Harry stumbled on the landing, looking around and around. “Where is the house?”

Sirius glanced around. “It’s supposed to be there?” He frowned. “Did he use Fidelius or anything?’

“I didn’t think so,” Harry murmured, looking around the houses. It was the address Remus had in the folder on the small scrap of parchment. “Maybe he just did -”

“Let’s check Hogwarts,” Sirius murmured, grabbing Harry again and reappearing seconds later outside of Hogwarts grounds.

Harry pulled and pushed at the gate, frowning. “It’s all locked up.”

Sirius’ hands were already hovering over the gates, eyes closed. He pulled away. “Plenty of magic around the school. You’re right; they’re scared. The Headmaster’s dead and no one knows what to do.”

Harry shivered. It seemed so empty there with no noises coming through from the school. Nothing moved on the grounds and no footprints lined the snow.

“Can we Floo in?” Harry asked. Sirius shook his head.

“I doubt it. All the networks would be closed in and out of the school. This has never happened before. They’re really frightened. It’s the beginning of a war.”

“And he’s the first casualty,” Harry murmured, pressing his face against the bars and trying to soothe his aching head. “Our best person on our side is gone as the first one.”

Sirius rubbed Harry’s shoulder and glared at the school as though trying to revive Dumbledore with his eyes. It looked perfect, snow flecking the windows and towers around the building. “Let’s just find Remus. There’s still hope for him.”

“He should have told us where he was going!” Harry said angrily. “It would have been so much easier!”

“He never wanted you to be hurt,” Sirius said quietly, looking around for an answer. “He was already broken up enough after the first attack when you got that scar.” He motioned to Harry’s face and the boy’s hand jumped to his face.

“Let’s go back to where Snape is. But first, go back home. I think I know how to get in.”

Sirius gave Harry a confused look, but Disapparated back to where the house was, buried under the cold snow. They wrestled through the calming white blankets and got inside. Harry ran off and came back to Sirius with the large folder in hand. Sirius grinned.

“Brilliant, Harry!” he opened the folder and glanced through it, finding a small scrap of paper and looking at it. He passed to Harry next, who read it and memorized the address.

Leaving again, they Disapparated once more. Harry ran off to the door, pacing in front of it impatiently, thinking hard. Sirius did the same and they waited until the house appeared, smashing the other houses out of the way.

“I’ll go in first,” Sirius said to Harry, placing his hand on the door handle and taking out his wand in the other hand. He opened the door, which was miraculously unlocked, and walked in quietly, aiming his wand into all of the dark corners. Harry followed.

“Nothing here,” Harry murmured, lighting his wand. Sirius dropped the wand a fraction of an inch and closed the door, looking around.

“Just books everywhere,” he said quietly. “I imagined Severus to prefer another sort of decoration style.”

Harry smiled slightly but it slipped off of his face. “Something has to be wrong. Wouldn’t he be here? What’s he doing out?”

Sirius’ pale face turned as he examined the room. “I have the feeling he’s somewhere else with Remus. Maybe other Death Eaters.”

Harry shivered and looked around the room once more. “But where do we look then?”

Sirius shrugged. “Everywhere. Anywhere. Let’s start here. There has to be something.”

Harry glanced up towards the far end of the room and smiled. “Sirius, I think I found a clue.”

Silently, he pointed to the hidden door behind the bookshelves, which was hanging ajar.