Love Letter

Potter:

It seems like all those rumors about Dumbledore being mad might, in fact, hold some truth, as evidenced by the fact that you have been made Head Boy. Or, perhaps your Gringott's vault is as large as your ego and you were therefore able to bribe several school officials.

Until the proper authorities at St. Mungo's/Ministry of Magic arrive to fix this, I suppose you and I will be working together on Head Duties. As such, let me make something perfectly clear: this position, for you, may be just another jewel to add to the crown you've fashioned for yourself, or some new way to lord over a larger percentage of the population. For me, though, it is great honor, and one that I will do my absolute best to uphold. It is also a great responsibility (a word you might be unfamiliar with, so I suggest you ask an adult) and one that I will be most pleased to fulfill, as well as a great opportunity for me to do some good in our school and clean up the mess you and Black have made of it.

So help me Godric, Potter, if you screw this up for me and for Hogwarts- if you abuse your power, if you slack off at meetings, if you don't do your fair share of the work, if you basically do anything that is in your nature to do -I will not hesitate to give you a good beating, both Muggle and magical. We are living in a very dangerous, dark time, something that even you, self-absorbed as you are, must have noticed, and there is no place at Hogwarts for an irresponsible, incompetent, reckless Head Boy.

It pains me to say this, but it appears that during the later months of our 6th year, you did seem to finally have reached emotional puberty and matured somewhat, and I implore you to continue this trend into our 7th year. If you do, and you uphold all of your responsibilities and set a positive role model for the students than I will fully and publicly apologize for my harsh tone in this letter. However, your track record is not very favorable (Muggle expression; ask Remus). I am inclined to rant about how you don't deserve an honor such as this, but, as I said, you have grown up a bit over the past year, and matured past the range of an 8 year old, and for you this is a truly amazing accomplishment. I might not believe that it is so large as to deserve you being made Head Boy, but it does show some ability to acknowledge your own faults and seek to correct them, something I believed you to be incapable of.

I think that, as advised, we should meet up sometime in late August to further discuss our responsibilities as Head Girl and Boy. Owl me back with a day and time that is suitable for you.

Lily Evans

P.S. Despite his unnatural fondness for sherbet lemons, and the fact that he seems to find some of your childish pranks funny, I do not believe that Dumbledore is really mad, and all the gold in the wizarding world, or even all the catnip in the known world, could bribe McGonagall. Therefore, it would seem as if you were appointed to this position on account of your own merits. Don't look so shocked, Potter, I do think you have merits- you have a brilliant, if not wasted, mind, a witty, if not often cruel, sense of humor, and a loyalty to your friends that even I, 'judgmental' as you believe me to be, cannot criticize. And as your...interactions with me over the past few years have revealed, you are very persistent, and at times, very creative (although, at more times, very embarrassing. Honestly, Potter, a serenade? In the Great Hall? Insane doesn't cover it).

If you could just focus on your merits, and not your (numerous) faults, which I will not list because they are, as I said, numerous, I think you would, quite possibly, make a wonderful Head Boy, and we could make an even better team. If you promise to work a little bit harder not to start fights/pick on others/hex others/show off/ask me out, I will promise to be a little bit more understanding, lenient, and forgiving and less of a 'self-righteous prude with a wand up her ar*e,' as your friend Black so charmingly calls me. Deal?

P.P.S. Congratulations.