Rating:
R
House:
Schnoogle
Genres:
Angst Romance
Era:
Multiple Eras
Spoilers:
Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire Order of the Phoenix
Stats:
Published: 05/21/2005
Updated: 06/18/2005
Words: 6,614
Chapters: 2
Hits: 971

Razorblade Connection

Demon13

Story Summary:
When it’s all too much you find the best escape you can think of, even if it’s dangerous and deadly. When the world seems too much to bear you find your own relief. And one Harry Potter finds his relief in the cold steel of a dagger. No one knows what is under the mask of the Boy Who Lived; they don’t see what’s under the surface of his carefully built façade. But then two of the most unlikely people find out his secret or secrets as they later find out; Draco Malfoy and Severus Snape and their views of the Gryffindor Golden Boy change when they find all they thought about him to be a lie. Draco Malfoy’s not all he shows himself to be...

Chapter 02

Chapter Summary:
When it’s all too much you find the best escape you can think of, even if it’s dangerous and deadly. When the world seems too much to bear you find your own relief. And one Harry Potter finds his relief in the cold steel of a dagger. No one knows what is under the mask of the Boy Who Lived; they don’t see what’s under the surface of his carefully built façade. But then two of the most unlikely people find out his secret or secrets as they later find out; Draco Malfoy and Severus Snape and their views of the Gryffindor Golden Boy change when they find all they thought about him to be a lie. Draco Malfoy’s not all he shows himself to be. Behind the sneer and the cold exterior he is hurting inside.
Posted:
06/18/2005
Hits:
434


Razorblade Connection

Chapter 2: A Long Day; A Hard Night

Harry walked into the Dining Hall with Ron and Hermione the next morning, the latter two chatting animatedly to each other as Harry lagged a few steps behind them. He glanced up at the enchanted ceiling noting that it was a pale blue sky with a light scattering of wispy clouds on this Wednesday morning in November.

The trio sat down at their table, Harry opposite Ron and Hermione and next to Dean facing the direction of the Slytherin table and the three began to pile food onto their plates. Harry was moving a little more sluggishly than normal and Hermione noticed as she glanced at the black haired teen.

"Harry are you okay you seem a little more tired than usual? Did you not sleep well last night?" the brown haired girl inquired leaning slightly across the table to look at him closely. His eyes looked a bit more tired, drooping slightly when he normally looks wide away in the mornings and he was moving a little more slowly than normal. She noticed it in the common room before they left but chalked it up to not being fully awake or perhaps preoccupied. But now that she looked again she was curious and concerned.

Harry mentally rolled his eyes at the questions asked to him. Hermione always treated him like he was made of glass and a child at that. She seemed to think her mothering him was okay when all he wished was that she would shut up and leave him be.

"I'm fine Hermione, really, just a bit of insomnia last night that's all, nothing to worry about." He said in that fake cheerful voice he'd been using since having to slip back into the Boy Who Lived mask. When like that nobody ever seemed to see anything wrong with him, which he was grateful for. In truth he had a nightmare of combined images last night. Sirius, Cedric (Now that everything in his life was crashing down on him he had been dreaming of the Tri Wizard Tournament more often and with more clarity), the abuse from Vernon and anything Voldemort related which was just a dream and not a vision last night.

"If you're sure..." Hermione trailed off eyeing him skeptically.

"I'm sure Hermione," he replied and threw her a bright smile that didn't reach his eyes. Hermione instantly smiled back at that smile, seeing her friend was fine and not noticing the smile and the happiness was completely fake as she turned and began chatting with Ron, her boyfriend, on his homework that he hadn't done.

Harry's smile faded some, not fully, as he had to keep the mask in place and began in on a conversation when Ron started talking about Quidditch and the upcoming practice when they played Ravenclaw. He wasn't acting with this discussion since Quidditch and flying were still a part of the things he liked to do and he was thankful the Quidditch ban was removed. Not being able to play Quidditch would have been awful.

Soon breakfast was over and everyone was on their way to their first classes of the day. The three Gryffindors were on their way to potions, their first class of the day. Harry was not in the mood for Snape's usual attitude toward him but knew hoping for a somewhat peaceful class period was useless. He listened absently to Hermione and Ron chatter incessantly about something as they walked, nodding in the appropriate spots.

They walked through the dungeons until they reached the potions classroom and walked in. There was a few other students already there of both the Gryffindor and Slytherin variety. Hermione sat at a seat near the front off to the right and Ron dutifully sat beside her with Harry in the next work bench.

"I wonder who that greasy git will pair us with today," Ron muttered with a scowl on his face. Harry nodded his agreement to this comment. Since coming back this year, Snape had made it well known that he was pairing people up almost every other class, or when the potion required two people, to work together.

"Ron! That's a professor you're talking about and I think pairing us up is a good idea. If you took time to actually pay attention you might be doing better in potions," Hermione scolded with a stern look at the red head. They had heard this speech since the beginning of the year when the looming bat known as Snape began partnering them up.

As Ron and Hermione argued the other students began filing in and taking seats until the whole class was there waiting on Snape to arrive. In a swirl of black robes that snapped dramatically behind him the black eyed potions master came into the room and quickly silence descended.

"You will be working in pairs today," Snape began without preamble, casting his dark eyes around the room. "You will be doing the Pulpa Plaga potion. Can anyone tell me what that potion does?" There was sarcastic hint to his voice as he said this. Hermione's hand went up before he even finished the sentence along with a few others but Snape steadily ignored them and looked directly at Harry before smirking.

"Potter, tell me, what does the Pulpa Plaga potion do?"

Harry inwardly felt himself smirk at this but kept a blank face outwardly. What Snape didn't know was that the Gryffindor had been studying potions to make sure he knew what he needed to.

Just as Snape's smirk was widening, thinking the black haired teen didn't know the answer, Harry spoke.

"Pulpa Plaga is a minor flesh wound potion used in cases where the flesh wound isn't too dire. It can be either drank or poured into the wound but most effective is being poured into the wound so it mingles with the blood." Harry stated voice flat and emotionless. Snape looked fit to burst a blood vessel and the rest of the class was silent staring at the Boy Who Lived like they didn't know who he was.

Snape regained his composure and glared calculatingly at Harry, that ever-present spark of contempt shining. Looking at the teen he smirked again. "Lucky guess Potter, but can you tell me the name of the major flesh wound potion and its use?"

"That would be the Mortiferus Pulpa Plaga potion, or Fatal Flesh Wound potion that works on more dangerous flesh wounds. Wounds that have a more likely chance of killing a person and can only be of use poured into the wound; drinking would have no affect other than a case of nausea because of one ingredient difference; two drops of basilisk blood is used in this potion and when made right the other ingredients counter the deadly affect the blood would normally have." There was a twitch at the corner of Harry's mouth for the smirk he wanted so badly to toss at Snape but they did nothing more than twitch.

Snape seemed to have a hard time processing what had just occurred. His eyes were wide and his mouth in a tight line with a faint angry flush to his face. The students seemed no better, staring at Harry with unattractive gapes. Like open mouthed bass.

"That...is...correct, Mr. Potter. Although I don't know how you knew that considering you're abysmal at potions," Snape gritted out through clenched teeth knowing very well that the wretched Potter boy had improved some this year. "I'll put you into pairs and you are to do the Pulpa Plaga potion in your text books on page 53. You will NOT complain about who I put you with. Partners will be: Greengrass and Brown, Bulstrode and Patil, Weasley and Thomas, Crabbe and Goyle, Parkinson and Finnigan, Granger and Zabini," with a malicious smirk at Harry. "And Potter and Malfoy. Now get to work!" He barked and moved to his desk.

There were multiple groans throughout the room but a glare from Snape stopped that. Ron and Hermione sent Harry sympathetic smiles as they all moved to sit with there partners. Harry sat next to Draco silently as he pulled out his book and supplies.

"Try not to screw up Potter; this isn't only your grade on the line. Merlin only knows why Professor Snape put us together," the blonde muttered as he, too, got out his supplies looking disdainfully at Harry.

"I know this isn't only my grade Malfoy, lets just do the potion with as little talking as possible," Harry said curtly, not in the mood to trade insults with the boy. The Slytherin sneered lightly at him but settled down and both began to work on the potion. Harry took the job of coating the cauldron in lavender oil as the instructions stated to do first as Draco set the fire and began crushing up the snake fangs. They worked in silence preparing the ingredients for the potion.

Once the ingredients were all prepared they got to work on making the potion, only talking when something needed to be added or the potion needed to be stirred.

Snape sat at his desk working on grading papers as the students went about their work. The class passed slowly with only the sound of hushed talking and the bubbling of cauldrons. When there were only ten minutes left to class Snape stood from his desk and began stalking around the room, looking into each pair's cauldron. When he reached the work table that Ron and Dean were at he looked into the cauldron and sneered at the two Gryffindors.

"Mr. Weasley, Mr. Thomas, what color is your potion supposed to be?" Snape asked with a condescending lift of his eyebrow. Ron and Dean looked at each other and swallowed before looking around them. Spotting the cauldron next to him which Hermione and Blaise Zabini were working on, Ron looked back at the potions master.

"Uh, it's supposed to be blue Professor," the red head muttered.

"And what color is your potion?" Snape asked and smirked haughtily.

"It's, well, uh, greenish blue, sir," Dean answered in a small voice.

"And do you know why your potion is greenish blue and not blue?" There was that condescending tone again, accompanied by a pointed glare. Both boys looked at each other, completely lost about what they did wrong before looking back at the potions master.

Snape smirked even more at this. "Ten points from Gryffindor each. Honestly, how you two managed to get into this class this year I will never know. Your attempt at making potions is pathetic." Snape spat before moving on. Finally he came to the last pair, which happened to be Harry and Draco and looked into their cauldron. The potion was the perfect blue it was supposed to be, a clear, navy blue.

Snape's lip curled slightly in disdain at the fact that the potion appeared to be perfect. Taking the ladle and scooping up some on the potion, he saw it was the right viscosity as well. Replacing the ladle he glared heatedly at Harry.

"I'm sure Mr. Malfoy did most of the work Mr. Potter," Snape said, still glaring at Harry. He knew this wasn't true though because he had covertly watched the boy as the pair worked and saw he put in as much help as his godson. And he couldn't stand the fact that the Potter boy was at least semi-talented at potions and there was really nothing he could do about it. The brat even did well when working on his own with potions in class. "Five points from Gryffindor for letting Mr. Malfoy do most of the work. And you'd better show up for you detention tonight." He snapped before sweeping (sulking) away to the front of the room, robes billowing.

"Bottle some of your potion and bring it to the front. Also, you are to write a two foot essay on the potion; the Preparation, the process, the ingredients and their properties due on Monday. No Excuses! You're dismissed," He barked.

In a flurry of movement the students began bottling their potions and packing up their things. Draco ladled some of the potion into a vial and put a stopper in it before taking it up to the front as Harry was emptying the cauldron. They made it back to the work table and packed up their belongings in silence, completely ignoring one another. Just as Draco was about to leave he looked at Harry and smirked.

"Good job not messing up the potion Potter," he said mildly condescending before walking out with Crabbe, Goyle and Blaise following him. Harry glared at the blonde's back as he left, sighed and joined Ron and Hermione as they were leaving the class. It looked to be a long day ahead.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

That night at 9:00 Harry began his walk to the potions classroom for his occlumency lesson. He had had to resume taking the lessons with Snape because of a particularly nasty Voldemort episode on Halloween, on Dumbledore's insistence. He was having the lesson two nights a week and this was the second week of their meeting. He wasn't happy about having to take them with Snape again but he was slightly more confident than last year about it. During the summer and his time at the Leaky Cauldron he had figured it might be best to try and learn occlumency, so he had bought books on the subject and read them to get a clearer understanding on the skill. After reading the books he had a bit more understanding of the subject but wasn't as skilled as he should be. Therefore the episode on Halloween and its subsequent consequence of occlumency lessons with Snape.

He made his way through the dungeons silently, preparing himself for the night to come. He had decided to discard his school robe for the night and now wore slightly baggy black jeans that clung in the right places and a short sleeved dark red shirt with 'I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it' written in black on the front that hugged his chest and stomach. He was sure tonight would be a hard night and that Snape would be unbearable.

He finally arrived at the classroom, took a deep calming breath and knocked lightly on the door.

"Enter." A cold, familiar voice said from inside and, with another deep breath, Harry entered the room and shut the door behind him, then with a small scowl turned to the greasy potions master. "You're late," Snape drawled, a healthy amount of disdain in his voice. Harry looked at his watch, a new one he had bought over the summer and looked at the time. It read 9:35, meaning he was five minutes late, and Snape didn't like anyone to be late on his time. Bastard.

"Sorry Professor," Harry muttered and tried his hardest to sound like he halfway meant it. Instead there was a slightly sarcastic tone to it that shot any chance of sounding sincere.

"Let's get started then Potter," Snape barked, stood from behind his desk and lifted his wand, which Harry just realized had been in his hand which was at his side. Harry knew Snape would give him no warning or time to prepare himself and was immensely relieved he had taken time before coming and on the walk there to prepare his mind, not to mention yesterday when he didn't have a lesson.

"Legilimens!" Snape exclaimed, wand pointed at the Gryffindor. He entered into his mind and Harry watched as small memories played in front of him. Dementors in an alley, his Uncles face purple in rage and shaking in anger, Umbridge's face round and toad-like, a bloody hand with words carved into it. Harry tried to think and with all his power pushed his thoughts into the direction of shielding his mind, remembering what he read.

Suddenly Snape was stopped from the viewing of memories as a large, lush, green forest appeared around him. Shocked he looked around him at the place he found himself in. Some parts of the forest he could see were heavily in shadows, scattered throughout the greenery. Drawing out of the boys mind and ending the spell he looked at the blacked haired teen in front of him, eyes holding a calculating look. He was grudgingly interested in what had happened. In hadn't happened last week when they had started the lessons again and he wasn't sure how the insolent brat had summoned this defense into his mind.

"What did you do?" He asked in a voice not quite curious though not bored either.

Harry looked somewhat unfocused; eyes glazed slightly, sheen of sweat on his brow, a small tremble in his limbs that was almost unnoticeable. The exertion it took to defend his mind had taken a bit of his energy. He wasn't well practiced at putting it up yet, no matter keeping it up all the time. He looked at Snape from where he was kneeling on the floor once he had a bit more balance and remembered the question he had asked.

"I, uh, was shielding my mind," Harry answered, a hint of a question in the statement as if he wasn't entirely sure. And he wasn't. He remembered reading that sometimes people who wanted to or had to learn occlumency had problems shielding their minds and that, for some, picturing a type of defense was best. The book, Occlumency: Keeping the Unwanted Out by Sech Barbin had stated that sometimes people use things like fire, thorns or stone as walls to block out intrusions. Another book, Blocking the Mind by Larson Fimble, had said that envisioning something you thought you could hide yourself in, in your mind, was a good way to help in defending your mind from attacks.

When he had read this he had thought to himself about what would hide him. He had been torn when he thought about it. On the one had he had an inexplicable liking to the shadows and had thought that was a good way to hide himself in his mind. But then he thought about how he saw pictures of lush forests and how those could hide him just as easily. It seemed his subconscious had made the choice for him and combined the two into a wonderful defense for his mind.

"Where did you learn to do that Potter? The forest that came up?" Snape asked still with a calculating frown on his face.

Harry frowned some before thinking how best to tell the man. "Over the summer I bought some books on learning occlumency and they had some good advice that I figured was worth trying." He answered and shrugged his shoulders indifferently. There was an unspoken comment in that statement: They had some good advice that I figured was worth trying that you didn't mention, you bastard.

Snape either didn't pick up on it or he ignored it as he quirked an eyebrow at the boy. He couldn't believe Potter had picked up a book and actually learned something and put it to good use. Granted, the brat wasn't skilled with his shielding but he could be with a little training and time.

"Potter, what books did you get? You were barely sufficient in shielding your mind properly." Snape drawled as he watched the Gryffindor who had straightened up from his leaning position. Harry looked at Snape blankly for a moment, head starting to hurt with the beginnings of a headache coming. Raising his hand to his head, he lightly began to massage his temple with his fingers.

"It was three of them, the books I bought. Blocking the Mind by Larson Fimble, Occlumency: Keeping the Unwanted Out by Sech Barbin and Defense for the Mind by Ranton Forest." Harry stated with a quirked eyebrow.

"Well those books should adequately aid you in actually SUCCEEDING to block your mind," The potions master sneered condescendingly. "Now let's try again." He poised his wand, arching a brow coolly at the teen. Harry quickly thought of that forest again with its shadowy parts, thought of it protecting his mind and secrets. "Legilimens!" Snape intoned.

Harry felt the invasion into his mind and saw what the greasy bastard was seeing and gritted his teeth, eyes closing, as images flew by him. He saw himself flying on his broom, he saw himself again at the Gryffindor table laughing with his friends and he could see the way it didn't reach his eyes. He squeezed his eyes even more tightly together and focused all his thoughts onto that beautiful forest with its shadowed areas.

Snape was watching the memories until, once again, that lush green forest materialized in front of him and the memories and images stopped. He vaguely noticed that the forest appeared quicker this time before he was pushed out of Potter's mind. He stumbled with the force of it before catching himself on the edge of his desk and straightening, a scowl on his face.

Harry was kneeling on the floor breathing heavily, brow creased, fists clenched and eyes shut. He felt that headache from earlier increase slightly, a dull throb pounding in his head. After a few minutes he regained his bearings and stood up, nodding briefly at Snape.

"That was slightly more adequate than the last time. Let's try again," Snape drawled in an indifferent voice.

And so they went. For the next hour and a half they worked; Snape entering Harry's mind and Harry erecting that forest and pushing him out. He got slightly better each time, erecting the forest and pushing Snape out more quickly. When 10:45 came around they finally stopped. Snape lowered his wand with a small barely noticeable breath and Harry, who was on all fours on the floor, hands clenched into fists, eyes shut tight had harsh pants escaping him.

"That's all for tonight Potter, be here Monday night at 9:00." Snape said as he looked at the Gryffindor who was just standing up shakily. Harry nodded his head slowly, that headache now a full blown migraine and left the potions classroom they had been working in. He started his walk back to Gryffindor Tower, walking slowly. He was tired, his head hurt, his knees and hands hurt and all he wanted was to get to the tower and sleep. Finally reaching the tower he mumbled the password to the Fat Lady and walk in to find Ron and Hermione waiting for him.

"How was it Harry?" Hermione asked with a worried looked as she caught his haggard appearance. He was mildly annoyed by her worry; like he was a child who couldn't tend to himself.

"I'm fine Hermione, just tired." He muttered and began walking toward the stairs.

"You sure mate? You really look bad," Ron called after him.

"Yes guys, I'm fine just need some sleep see you in the morning," he said he kept walking.

"Hold up mate, I'm coming up to." Ron said and the three said there good nights. Harry walked into the dorm and changed clothes, putting on a pair of sleep pants and a shirt before slipping in and falling asleep.