Project Potter

Project Potter

Chapter Three

Hermione's Treatise on Continuity

For her chapter, Hermione's gifts as a nit-picker came out to shine like bright stars. She was a little less forgiving of gross errors than her friends, as mental discipline and carefulness were more precious principles to her. Indeed, when Harry and Ron read her analyses, they were shocked at how many of these things they never even noticed in fanfiction stories. As ever, they were impressed by her powers of observation, and even perhaps a little annoyed - because they had so often been the bug under her microscope themselves.

Hermione alternately smiled and frowned with grim determination as she wrote out her chapter. She wanted to be a force for thoughtful self-control and self-criticism, while not being too much of a dry academic. She had always loved trivia and details, but her years since school had made her more humane and forgiving of human weaknesses, including her own. She hoped that her sharp points didn't come off as being too severe and pedantic. But she was scrupulously careful to seem like a devoted and observant reader, rather than an "insider."

Her greatest reward came when Arthur read her work. Many times he laughed aloud, saying, "Yes, well, very good, very good." She beamed each time. For her pseudonym, she decided to use a scrambled version of her name that combined the virtues of grace and harmony, which secretly made her feel lovely and musical.

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Corrections of Some Common Errors in Harry Potter Fanfics

(Some Observational Tips from an old editor for Authors)

By Grace Harmon

"Continuity" is a major issue in film-making; sometimes part of a scene must be re-shot months later, and it is critical that, for example, the characters are wearing the same clothing and have the same hairstyles as they did in the other parts of the scene, or in adjacent scenes. When too many of these things are "off," the sense of "suspended disbelief" is damaged, and the audience loses interest. Similarly, authors of fiction frequently plot out an elaborate back-story that never actually makes it into the final work. They do this so that they can flesh out a vision of the universe they've created, and keep it consistent within itself. Good authors are usually also good researchers: they don't want wrong facts or sloppy thinking to detract from the reader's commitment to their story.

When we write within the Potter universe, it is helpful if we don't contradict already known facts. Whether from science, geography or canon, known facts anchor us to a common reality. Departing too far from that common reality makes your work seem to lack credibility to the informed reader. If you seem to have failed to pay attention to these well-known details, your reader will very likely lose patience with you and your story. You're certainly entitled to depart from the stories we all know - but you'll need to provide a good rationale for doing so, and you can't be oblivious to the expectations of your audience. If you don't write for your audience as well as yourself, you soon will have an audience of one.

The following are just a few hints, culled from viewing hundreds of Hogwarts/Harry Potter fanfics where these mistakes were common. They're only mentioned because they seem to be so commonly or widely misunderstood. No attempt is made to be exhaustive or definitive.

(The expression "Canon" means the written works of J. K. Rowling. That is, if it ain't canon, it ain't official. Don't assume it's true just because it has been repeated in a number of Fanfics; e.g. JKR has never called Prof. Sprout "Flora," even though a number of fanfic authors have.)

Carriages: One of the commonest errors goes something like: "Malfoy stepped out of the Slytherin prefects' carriage." Or, "Ginny's saving us a carriage." A carriage is like a car. It is very unlikely that the Slytherin prefects would have a whole railway car to themselves; nor that little Ginny would save a whole car for the use of four people. A carriage is, however, divided into a number of compartments. These are like little cabins, usually seating six (3 facing 3) with a moderate amount of privacy. (I.e. a sliding compartment door with a blind.) In Europe, first and second class train passengers usually get to sit in compartments, while third or coach class sit in open cars/carriages (i.e. not compartmented).

It's usually U.S. or Canadian writers who get the terms confused: in North America the term "carriage" is usually reserved to mean a baby carriage (what a Brit calls a "pram," short for perambulator) or the rarer "horse and carriage," and the now-obsolete typewriter "carriage return." Train rides are shorter in Europe; in North America it can take days to cross the country - so short-term seating is usually in coach style cars, while longer journeys are made in very small private rooms that have swing-down beds (in "Pullman Cars"). Semi-private compartments are much more rare on North American trains.

Violence: Nothing in canon suggests that Uncle Vernon has been physically violent with Harry. The implication that he is and has been is out of character. He is a bully, and emotionally abusive; his character is decidedly ugly; but he is apparently careful not to cross the line into beating. (He may threaten and bluster, but no blows so far.) He has dragged and pushed Harry, not hit him. If you want to draw Vernon as a batterer, you'll have to provide the rationale and the transition, because it doesn't come from JKR.

(More under Underage Magic)

Boats: Only first years get to ride the little boats from the train station in Hogsmeade to the castle. All others (2nd-7th years) take the horseless carriages.

If you want to portray a higher-year transfer student taking the boats, you need to provide the rationale ("Dumbledore wants all new students to arrive by boat," said Hagrid).

Towers: There is no "Slytherin Tower." The Slytherins live in the Dungeons. According to some, the Gryffindors and Ravenclaws ascend from the Great Hall, while the Slytherins and Hufflepuffs both descend. (Note that in Book 4, after the Goblet chooses Harry as the 4^th Tri-Wizard Champion, Harry climbs the marble steps, while Cedric goes down the stone steps.)

Dungeons: Likewise, Potions class is in the Dungeons, but not in the "Slytherin Dungeons." Apparently the dungeons are extensive, and have different areas.

Bathrooms in the dorms: There is no evidence in canon to support the notion that bathrooms are part of or adjacent to each dorm room. (That's called an "en suite" bathroom, or part of the living area - as in most modern motel rooms.) Like in most older buildings, it would be reasonable to expect bathrooms to be at the end of the hall, serving all the dorms on the floor - or otherwise centrally located rather than private.

Girls' and Boys' dorms: Canon is fairly explicit in suggesting that the girls' rooms and boys' rooms (in Gryffindor, at least) are accessed by separate staircases - i.e., one can't go from girls' to boys' rooms without descending to the common room first.

Accents: Hagrid does not speak like a Cockney (dropped H's, as in "'arry" or "'ermione") or like a Scotsman ("och, laddie"). His dialect is more like a broad Northern England accent (yeh, ter, summat). (If you don't know or can't do the accents, you're better off skipping them than botching them.)

Blood: The most bigoted purebloods may look down on everyone else - but their class distinctions are not interchangeable. Muggles are not the same as Mudbloods. A Muggle is a non-magical person. (E.g. the Dursleys.) A Squib is a non-magical person descended from Wizards. (E.g. Filch.) A "Mudblood" (always an offensive or "fighting" word) is a magical person with Muggle parents; the more neutral term is "Muggle-born." (E.g. Lily, and Hermione.) A "Half-blood" has one Muggle and one Magical parent. (E.g. Voldemort and Seamus.) These are not equivalent terms.

Hogwarts' location: It is not identified as being in Scotland in the four canon books - but it is sufficiently placed there by the charity book on Fantastic Beasts: the colony of giant spiders (or acromantulas) is mentioned as being in Scotland; and unless the Forbidden Forest is across the border in England somehow, it is fair to assume from this clue that the Forest, Hogsmeade and Hogwarts are all in Scotland.

Surrey: It is a shire (or county) South of London. Most of it is not part of the London suburbs. (Only the northern towns, such as Epsom and Banstead, are really close up to Greater London. Most of the shire is fairly rural, [even woodland in places,] extending well to the South and Southwest. As Harry has never been to London until Hagrid takes him, it's fair to assume that Little Whinging is not close to London.) Along its Southern border with West Sussex, one finds Gatwick Airport - and that's a good hour's train ride into Victoria Station. The idea that a car trip from (fictional) Little Whinging to King's Cross could be made in ½ hour (or even an hour) is not realistic - especially as King's Cross is on the north side of London, and Little Whinging could well be in far south Surrey. (Now on a broom, it might be different!)

Points: One might question whether a prefect can take house points from another prefect; as equals, they would probably have to go to a higher authority, such as a teacher. (E.g. can Prefect Hermione take 10 points from Prefect Draco for insulting other Prefects? I doubt it.)

Blaise: Some writers seem convinced that Blaise Zabini is a girl. It's true that there is never a "he" or "him" used in canon to describe this minor character. But there is no evidence from literature, history or experience that Blaise is ever a girl's name. Blaise Pascal, French philosopher and mathematician, is a good example of its use as a French male name. (Confusion might have been made with Blaze, as in Blaze Starr - but that's different.)

Underage Magic: The restriction is only lifted when a witch or wizard "comes of age" - which is 17 years old in the wizarding world. It's taking liberties to have Harry et al do spells outside school until they're 17. Exceptions: broom flying, potions brewing and magical plant growing or animal handling do not usually require the use of spells or wands. (Also, theoretically, apparating, and the animagus transformation - if one wants to assume Harry and friends learn how early.) The Ministry seems only able to catch actual spells. (Remember the letter from Mafalda Hopkirk of the Improper Use of Magic Office in Book 2: Dobby's hover charm is easily mistaken for a wizard's spell.)

Defensive Underage Magic: Many fanfic authors depict Harry using accidental magic to defend himself, and then being warned/punished for this "infraction." But unless I am much mistaken, we are told that self-defense (like other emergencies) is in fact a valid excuse for magic outside school! (Harry does not have to suffer unending persecution. HP is not a tragedy; give him a break.)

This is among my biggest objections to those fanfics that depict Vernon as a physical abuser. It boggles the mind that the authors portraying violence to Harry don't give him more credit for intelligence; if anything was a sufficient emergency that justified the use of magic out of school, it should be obvious that physical violence was! Harry would have to be a moron (or suicidal) not to protect himself. "Why did you use magic?" "Vernon was about to beat me up again." "Oh, OK; and by the way, Vernon, you're under arrest." If you can't prove that Harry is incapacitated (by depression, blackmail or something else) that makes him unable to lift a finger to defend himself, the Underage Magic Clause is no good reason to permit abuse. (See Violence)

Hedwig: Definitely a female owl. Calling Hedwig "him" proves you've not read even Book 1 carefully.

Owls generally: They are all predators and carnivores; most live on rodents. They are a subgroup of the raptors, which all have sharp beaks and sharply-clawed toes. Maybe some owls wouldn't mind a bit of toast - but my guess is they'd always prefer the bacon given a choice.

Harry's scar: Canon books give no suggestion as to its color; though a few fanfic authors seem to think it is green. A green scar would be a sign of a very serious infection, possibly gangrene. It is not reasonable to extrapolate a green scar from green eyes. A normal scar is skin-shaded, though often one or two shades off from the surrounding skin. (The book covers show beige, brown and red, and in several locations. But cover art is not canon! JKR does not say.)

Starting day: Hogwarts Express and welcoming feast seem always to occur on Sept. 1, regardless of the day of the week. Perhaps this is chosen for an astrological reason; nonetheless, it doesn't appear to be a negotiable date.

Prefects: While we did not get to know many other prefects besides Percy and Penelope yet, those familiar with British boarding schools suggest that it is a mistake to assume only one prefect per house. From 5^th to 7^th year, there are typically two prefects per year: one boy and one girl. Thus, 6 prefects per house, and 24 in total. Out of the 7^th year prefects, two are chosen to be Head Boy and Head Girl. (Harry's parents were head boy and girl together, and both were Gryffindor, according to JKR.) Remember that Percy was 5^th year when Harry began his 1^st; and he said, "I'm a prefect," not "I'm the prefect." That JKR didn't name all the other prefects was not due to their non-existence, but only because it wasn't important for the story.

"Animagus" is the singular, while "Animagi" is the plural. It's based on the words "magus" and "magi." (Pronounced May'-gus and May'-jye in English.) Magus is Latin (from Greek, from Old Persian) for magician or sorcerer; hence animagus = animal + wizard.

The Animagus transformation requires neither spell nor wand. Animagi (according to Sirius, describing in book 3 how he escaped from Azkaban) have a simpler mentality when in their animal form. Thus imputing sophisticated reasoning or communication (beyond that of a highly intelligent animal) contradicts the testimony of Animagi in canon themselves.

Train Station: The northern terminus of the Hogwarts Express is at Hogsmeade Station, not Hogwarts Station. It seems to be adjacent to the village; students take either the boats (1^styears) or the horseless carriages up to the school. While never explicitly stated, the village seems to be a short walk from the school; perhaps 15-20 minutes or about a mile. But they aren't adjacent.

Students do not remove their trunks and other belongings from the train. Those items are brought up to the castle for them. Who does it and how are never stated explicitly, though it's not far-fetched to assume that the house-elves manage it - probably with magic.

Names: With a few exceptions, most witches and wizards in the Potter books have at least one odd name. It could be the first or last; for instance, Susan or Ron aren't peculiar, but Bones or Weasley are. McGonagall and Black are reasonably normal names - but Minerva and Sirius are quite distinctive. Albus Dumbledore, Dedalus Diggle and Newt Scamander are examples of both names being unusual; Harry Potter has perhaps the most deceptively normal name of all.

Wronski: In Polish as in German, the W is pronounced like a V. Hence the sound would be more like "Vron'ski."

Plants: A lot of the females have flowery or plant names: e.g. Lily, Petunia, Pansy, Lavender, Narcissa, Poppy, Violet (the Fat Lady's friend), etc. Street names are also floral (Privet, Magnolia). A few authors who don't know that privet is a flower have surmised it is an alternate spelling for private. Uh-uh.

Classes: The students of the same house and year (e.g. Gryffindor 5^th-years) will take all their required courses together at the same time. Required courses include Charms, Potions, Transfiguration, DADA, Herbology, History of Magic, Astronomy, and Care of Magical Creatures. It makes no sense to have Ron and Hermione discussing the differences in their schedules - except for the electives (e.g. Runes, Arithmancy, Divination, etc.) - unless it is established that one has been placed in a different year or house, or that a special intensive academy has been set up, with a distinct curriculum.

Shared classes: For the first four years, Harry's Gryffindor year has shared Herbology with the Hufflepuffs, and Potions with the Slytherins; and for two years, Care of Magical Creatures with the Slytherins. No mention has been made of classes shared with the Ravenclaws. There's no compelling reason why these shared classes can't change, but also no good reason why they would. So if a fanfic author wants to pair the Gryffindors in different combinations, he/she would have to offer a plausible reason for making the change. Also, there is no evidence from canon that one year shares classes with another year. Again, one would need a very good reason to do so.

The Dursleys' Fireplace: It was boarded up and replaced with an imitation electric fireplace. In Chapter 4 of Goblet of Fire, Arthur Weasley (plus Fred, George and Ron) flooed to it - and had to bust it open from the back, in order to emerge and pick up Harry. After Harry and the boys flooed back to the Burrow, Arthur had to reverse the toffee engorgement charm, and then undo the damage to the fake fireplace, putting it all back in place - before apparating back to the Burrow himself.

A number of fanfic authors seem to ignore these facts, and start using floo to 4 Privet Drive. They could suggest that - but only if they tied up the loose end. (I.e., Vernon must have decided to remove the fake fireplace and start using the real one.) If you don't explain why, then you can't use the fireplace. You can't floo in or out of a fake electric fireplace!

(One more thing about floo powder: some authors have everyone using it. But most capable adult wizards prefer to apparate. Usually, it's the underage or less able who need to floo. After all, except for Hogwarts, you can apparate pretty much anywhere - but you can only floo from one fireplace (on the floo network) to another. Able adult wizards seem to use floo or portkeys only when accompanying underage youngsters.)

Summer Holidays/Vacation: Too many fanfics describe the summer vacation as being three months. While this may be true in the US, it isn't in Canada or Britain. Typically, American schools are over before the 10^th of June; Canadian, before the 20^th. But schools in Britain finish their term at the end of June or beginning of July. So summer holidays in Britain are two months long, not three. (This is partly made up for by the fact that Christmas and Easter holidays in Britain are much longer.)

Spelling: It is understood that not everyone is a perfect speller; that's why God invented spell-checkers. However, misspelling the names of major characters in the HP series (and doing it repeatedly) is a major faux pas. You will quickly lose your readers if you show so little respect for their favorite characters. Spelling is mostly observing: you just notice how something is normally spelled, so you conform to the norm. If you have failed to notice how the names of major characters are spelled, and keep mis-spelling them ("Hermonie, Luscious Mafloy, Magonigle, Dumbeldoor, Hedgewig, Author Weasely, Serverus, Sirus, Pavarti, Pheniox, Voldermont" are only some of the offensive mis-spellings) you will be assumed to have simply not paid attention to the canon novels. Since these names are repeated hundreds of times, it's not a particularly unfair assumption. Even non-Hermiones will tune you out (i.e. go on to the next fic) if you can't correctly spell the main characters. (PS: if you misspell a main character's name in the summary or title, many will never even bother to open your story. I just saw one called Herry Potter. Duh.)

Writing a Name Backwards: The only reason the device of using a backwards name and description for the Mirror of Erised worked was: because it is a mirror! So things appear backward in it! Get it? (The inscription on the Mirror of Erised reads backwards: "I show not your face but your heart's desire.")

Calling any old thing or person by a backwards-spelled name (Rettop Yrrah and his pal Yelsaew Nor, for example) is a tired and overworked device - and meaningless unless it can be linked (either subtly or obviously) to the concept of a mirror image.

Summaries, Editing: Spend a few minutes to come up with a positive, descriptive and enticing summary. How not to have anyone read your opus? Just say, "It's not very good, but read it anyway!" or "I suck at summaries, but please read!" Or "I promise it gets better later!" Or "It's really not like all the other fanfics with the same description!" If that's true - then write a different description. If you can write a worthwhile story, you can also write a worthy summary.

And if it's not a very good story, then wait a day and rewrite it till it is! You do not have to post a story immediately, just because you have stopped writing and don't have anything else to say at the moment. Always let a creation sit for a while, digest it, come back to it and re-examine it. You are not writing under a deadline; the only reason to post immediately is that you refuse to believe it can be improved (which is arrogant). There's a saying, "No work of art is ever finished; it is merely abandoned." Try to touch up your baby a bit before you abandon it, okay?

I am a writer; I've been published in periodicals for many years. I am also an editor. As good as I am at both, I can't always see my own work objectively, and I need an editor myself. Unless you are Shakespeare, (and maybe even if you are,) so do you. Try to accept the corrections of others not as a rebuke, but rather as a helpful suggestion. The silliest thing for any author is to take every word they write as sacred and unchangeable. Deleting or changing your words is not like killing your kids - even if it seems that way at first. You will do yourself and your work (and your reader) an enormous favor if you regard everything you write as "open to revision." JKR does.

Cheers,

Grace Harmon

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When she was finally done, Hermione got up and brushed her hands together as though trying to shake off dust and grit. Perhaps more than the lads, she had a feeling of cleaning a dirty bathroom or kitchen. And more than they, she felt the need to keep going back to her treatise, and polishing it and revising it just as she had suggested to her intended readers.

When he'd read it over, Harry told her: "You never revised our essays with that kind of exactitude!"

"Oh yes I did!" Hermione replied adamantly. "You just don't remember! Up till fifth year you and Ron came up with all manner of drivel in your writing. I kept hammering at you to do your research, to think before you write, and to always apply logic to your points. In fifth year you started to do that with some consistency - so I got to stop nagging you."

"We do owe you a lot of credit for the improvement in our scholarly habits, Hermione," said Ron. "I'm sure I haven't told you this enough lately - but I appreciate your gifts! Ol' Eagle-Eye!"

"Thanks, Ron!" she answered, rather touched.