Life on the edge

Chapter 10

Dumbledore and Hermione exchanged worried looks.

"Severus? Can you understand what I say? Do you know where you are?"

"Mikä? En ymmärrä..."

Dumbledore turned to Hermione.

"It looks as if he has forgotten... English. It must have been a very hard shock if a whole language is inflicted..."

"Does that mean that he speaks only Finnish now? And can't understand a word in English?" Hermione asked uneasily.

Snape watched them speaking, but he really seemed to have no clue what was going on.

"Oh dear. I'll have to dig out the snippets I remember in Finnish... Let's see. Severus? Tiedätkö missä sinä olet?"

Snape looked hesitantly across the room, then to Hermione, and back to Dumbledore. Slowly he shook his head.

"Tiedätkö - er - nimeäsi? Tai minun?"

Snape seemed to concentrate, still watching them with a hint of reservation.

He shook his head again. "En muista..."

Dumbledore sighed heavily.

"As I've feared. Hermione, we have to find out to what extend his memory was damaged. That he doesn't remember English at all is a bad sign. I'll ask him what he remembers last..."

The headmaster searched for the foreign words again, but Snape seemed to understand his put-together-sentences. Hermione watched as the Potions Master furrowed his brows in concentration, and paled. His eyes grew wide and he looked at Dumbledore with creeping panic.

"Ei mitään." He said quietly.

Hermione didn't need a translation for the latter; from the looks on both Snape's and Dumbledore's faces she could tell that Snape couldn't remember anything. Snape himself looked utterly confused and afraid, and Hermione felt her heart squeeze. She watched how Dumbledore secretly tabbed his eyes with his sleeve. Then she heard angry voices coming closer, and a moment later the door to Snape's room was opened. Draco Malfoy stormein, Madame Pomfrey on his heels.

"Mister Malfoy, I won't tolerate this behaviour! Come back this instant!"

Draco ignored the ranting nurse and looked at Dumbledore.

"Professor Dumbledore, I wanted to visit Professor Snape - "

"And I told him that it is impossible at the moment - "

"For everyone except Granger, isn't it?!" Draco spat.

Dumbledore stood up.

"Now, children, calm down please. Draco, I have to insist that you keep your voice down if you want to stay. And Poppy, don't worry, it's alright, I had planned to speak with Mr Malfoy soon afterwards, so it is good timing that he turned up right now. Please, have a seat, Draco."

Poppy went grumbling back into her office, and Draco found himself a chair. Snape watched all the tantrum with curiosity but didn't say anything. Draco couldn't restrain himself any further and turned to the Potions Master who had sat up in the meantime.

"Professor, why am I not allowed to visit you while Granger is? Have you forgotten..."

Draco interrupted himself and look accusingly, but also distressed at Snape who had only watched him in confusion. Dumbledore moved and sat down next to Draco.

"Draco, I'm well aware of the status Professor Snape has in your life, and that is why I thought it better for you not to visit him."

Draco looked alarmed, and Hermione felt sorry for him, but curious at the same time. Which status had Snape in Draco's life?

"But headmaster, perhaps I could have helped him..."

"I'm afraid that is not the case, Draco. See... Professor Snape is awake again but he can't remember anything. He even can't speak English anymore, nor does he understand it. In these circumstances I thought it better for you not to see him, as you certainly have various questions to ask him. But he can't give you any answer at the moment, son."

Draco had become white as a wall and looked over to Snape with... desperation, Hermione noticed.

"But Professor, I need to speak with him! I... I must..."

Draco shivered, Hermione couldn't tell if with anger or fear. He sat stunned enough to let Dumbledore put an arm around his shoulders.

"He really... can't remember? Not even... me?" Draco whispered; Hermione barely caught it.

Dumbledore shook his head gravely.

"Be patient, son. Maybe his memory comes back, we try everything that is in our might. And if you want to speak to or ask someone else, you know that you can always find me for a talk. Although I know you'd prefer Professor Snape."

Draco nodded faintly and looked sadly at Snape again, who looked back, but he held his face blank and gave no opportunity to tell if he recognised the boy.

"Come, children, I think it's for your best if you go to bed now. I'll try to tell Professor Snape something of what has happened. By the way, Draco, he never has spoken Finnish with you in your childhood, did he?"

Draco shook his head, casting a questioning look at the headmaster, then at Hermione.

"I thought so. Well, I hope to see you both tomorrow. Have a good night, and don't worry. Professor Snape will recover, I'm sure of that."

The headmaster accompanied them to the door and waved them goodbye. Then the both of them stood outside the hospital wing, not sure of what to say.

Finally Draco found something to ask, breaking the awkward silence.

"So; why were you allowed to be with him all the time?"

Hermione relaxed; that didn't sound as angry as it had been some minutes ago. She explained the whole situation to Draco, who kept a neutral expression all the time. When Hermione was finished, he nodded.

"I'll make you a deal, Granger. I stay out of your way in caring for Snape, and I'll keep you both out of the line of fire from my father. Your part will be to help Snape getting his memory back so that I can talk with him about... my business. Do you agree to these conditions?"

Hermione pondered Dracos suggestions. She was well aware of the danger, the thread of a new attack on Snape now it was clear he would live; she didn't doubt the honesty of Draco's motives either, but the question was his motive. And she wasn't sure if Draco had enough influence on his father - or anyone else - to keep them in a kind of safety. She asked her question out loud, but Draco only snorted at her.

"I wouldn't offer something like this to someone if I couldn't make it. For the case you don't get it, Granger, this is not a game. It's politics of information, to put this way. And you can be pretty sure that I will not risk my life for a mudblood, or a useless spy, if I were not dead-serious about my possibilities. So decide, Granger. This is the only time I give you the opportunity to do so."

Hermione still wondered if she could really trust Draco; but he really looked dead-serious, and when she recalled his words, she couldn't find any ambiguity in them. That and the knowledge that they would have a binding contract on that matter convinced her. She held her hand out.

"Deal. You put your father on a wrong track, and I help Professor Snape to recover."

Draco gripped her hand and shook it firmly.

"Deal."

They both knew that an oral contract, sealed with shaking of hands, had its own magic power and would bind them both as well as a written one. They nodded at each other, and returned to their common rooms without looking back.

Hermione was already expected by Harry, Ron and Ginny, who burned to hear the news. Hermione gave them a summary of the events but she spared out the bit of hers and Draco's agreement. She knew exactly that the boys wouldn't trust Draco, no matter if they had a contract or not.

"And", Hermione thought, "it is safer for us both if nobody else knows about this. Draco can operate behind the scene and I can continue to help Snape. We both will stick to the masquerade though, and nobody will get suspicious."

Hermione saw the strategy of Draco's move now, although she still wondered why he was so extremely interested in Snape's memory. She felt a bit wary about that point - "politics of information", indeed! Had she overlooked something? Or did Draco just try to conceal his personal interests in Snape? What was it what he had wanted to talk about with Snape so urgently? And since when in the name of hell had she started to think in the lines of Slytherin's paranoia-programme?! But of course Hermione knew she was playing at high stakes at the moment. She started when she felt a warm hand on her arm.

"Hermione? Are you alright? You look exhausted, didn't you sleep at all last night?"

Hermione looked into Ginny's concerned eyes. The night... the dream! Gods, she had nearly forgotten about that!

"It's ok Ginny, I'm only tired. I'll go to bed now, sorry. See you totmorrow!"

Despite the protests of her friends she walked up to her room, pondering the freaky dream again.

Some floors downstairs the Gryffindor common room Severus laid in his bed and tried to make some sense out of the things he had watched and heard today. At first it had frightened him to see these people who obviously knew him, but he couldn't remember them at all; not to speak of himself. Only the girl seemed vaguely familiar.

Severus thought about the things Albus had told him in a broken but understandable Suomi. It seemed too fantastic to be real. But on the other hand... He really couldn't remember anything. There was only darkness, a heavy, blinding and deafening black blanket wrapped around his mind. But despite that, his injuries (and he had no idea how he had achieved THEM either) fitted into the tale. He had been really shocked when he had found his left arm...well, in the state it was in currently.

Severus yawned and watched the clouds drifting in front of the moon. This had been almost too much information for one day. He felt lost and he missed something, although he couldn't put a name to it - "well, to what exactly could he put possibly a name to?" he snorted to himself.

At least there were people who tried to help him, and he could trust them, he felt. Even this blonde boy who had stormed into the room; Severus wasn't sure why but he trusted him despite the suspicious glances the girl had cast at the boy. Severus watched an owl hunting for something in the grass until the bird had swept out of sight again.

Yes, the names...and the language, English Albus had called it. It sounded strange and uneasy but he had the impression it tucked on some parts of his lost memories. But the names... Albus, Poppy, Draco, Mi-ner-va, Her-mi-o-ne...Gods, he would never been able to pronounce these latter two! And Albus seemed to be the only one who knew at least a bit Suomi to explain to him what was going on. Great.

Severus rolled on his stomach, carefully avoiding to lean on his going-to-be left arm, as far as he had understood. He wondered if he - his former self had been insomniac as well, or if it was a result of the unnerving information he had received today. He relaxed a bit better in the new position but there was still something - missing. A soft pressure, something soft and warm, a calming smell on his side; a sound, like quiet murmur; and a soft voice, humming a tune...

Severus connected all this intuitively with Her... with the girl but he wasn't sure. But when he recalled this morning she had been the only one with him at first, and somehow Severus knew that she was the one he was missing right now.

Well, maybe she would visit him tomorrow. He could try and talk to her then. Severus smiled softly in his half-asleep state; hopefully she didn't mind a kind of language-exchange. And hopefully she would allow him to address her with a nickname...