Always Loving You

Chapter Eleven

"What can I do for you, Draco?" Severus asked the boy in front of him. He still considered Draco as a boy due to his occasionally immature behaviour. Draco was still the same little boy that Severus had grown to love in his own way.

Draco had been sitting, not saying a word for an hour. Severus was reminded about the time when Draco's drinking had reached its peak.

"He's going to leave me." Draco's voice was so quiet that Severus almost didn't hear it.

"What makes you say that?"

Draco didn't utter any another word, hanging his head low.

Severus glanced at the little girl sleeping soundly head in Draco's lap. "Draco. For the sake of both of you talk to me," he said against his nature. He was not a man of soft or comforting words.

Draco sighed, running his hand through Hannah's hair, making the girl moan in her sleep. "I fucked it up, Severus. I can't do anything right."

"Don't be foolish. Look at Hannah, she's the sweetest girl I know. You have done a wonderful job."

"It was you who raised her, not me." Bitterness coloured Draco's voice. If he could change the past, he would do it in a heart beat.

"Draco--"

"I know I'm right, Severus." He silenced the older man with a wave of his hand. "How could I ever think that he would want me," he said, tears starting to form into his eyes.

"You just have to give him something time, Draco. I'm sure he still loves you." Severus clenched his teeth, not believing he would ever use such words.

Draco looked at him in desperation. "What am I going to do?"

Severus sighed. It would be a rocky road for Draco and Harry from this point on that he knew for sure.

~*****~

"Draco?" Harry called as soon as he stepped inside his house.

"In the kitchen!" Came a quick answer.

Harry was awestruck when he entered the kitchen. "What is this all about?"

"Well, I wanted to surprise you, so surprise!" Draco spread his arms out, smiling warmly.

The old, wide mahogany table was gone and in place was a much smaller round table, a white tablecloth on top. Candles created a romantic looking setting, illuminating their faces with soft glow.

"I made your favourite food," Draco said, turning around to retrieve the just finished dishes from the kitchen counter.

"How on earth do you know what my favourite is?" Harry asked, putting his coat over the back of the chair.

Draco smiled mysteriously, winking. "You'd be surprised if you knew what else I know."

Harry laughed. "I am sure that I'll find a way to persuade you."

Draco gave a snort of amusement. He started to get nervous as he thought that he had to tell Harry of his decision. "So, where were you all day?" he asked, trying to sound as casual as he did a minute before.

"Ah, I was at the Ministry to settle the things concerning Hogwarts' re-opening. They showed green light and were rather eager to help me. I think that my reputation has something to do with it, but I might have been imagining it." Harry shrugged.

Draco smiled. "Of course it has nothing to do with it. You are just some bum from the street, right?"

Harry smirked, shifting closer to Draco who was laying the last dish on the table. "I should have brought you along for the sex-appeal," Harry whispered into Draco's ear, wrapping his arms around his waist.

Draco gasped at the contact, gritting his teeth to keep from reacting in any way.

Harry kissed him behind the ear. "I missed you," Harry said with deep voice, which sent cold shivers down Draco's back.

Draco tried to think something than what might happen if he turned around or let Harry continue any further. "Harry, don't..." he whispered, gripping the edge of table to keep himself in the reality.

"Give me a good reason why?" Harry's hands travelled up and his body, obviously trying to provoke him.

"I have to talk to you about something."

"You can talk you want. I'll--"

"Harry! This is serious!" Draco exclaimed, but didn't push Harry away, yet.

Harry raised his hands in the air as a sign of defeat. "Okay," he said retreating on the other side of the table, and sitting down.

Draco almost sighed aloud, but he kept it inside, so that Harry wouldn't get the wrong idea. He sat down on the opposite side of the table. "I talked with Severus about our - I mean - my situation," Draco corrected hastily, while fidgeting on his seat. His palms were already perspiring. All his fears surfaced at that moment at it felt impossible to continue. He is not going to leave me. He is not going to leave me. He continued to repeat it to himself as a mantra.

He glanced nervously at Harry who had a neutral expression on his face, and was clearly waiting for him to continue.

Draco sighed. "I've come to a conclusion that I have to get help from various professionals."

Harry nodded. "It might be helpful if we both--"

"No, Harry. I have to do it alone and get even with my problems."

Harry looked him in the eye, surely wanting to protest, but then he looked away. "If you say so."

"Harry--"

Harry looked at him again. "I understand, but it hurts me to think that you don't want my help, that's all."

"No, Harry. I need your help, your support. If you are not here for me, then I don't know why I even bother to try."

"Hannah."

Draco looked down at his lap. "Yes, she wouldn't be here without you, Harry."

There was pregnant silence between them as they both were in their own worlds.

Harry smiled warmly. "Isn't the food getting cold?"

Draco snapped out of his thoughts, lifting his head up quickly. "Oh, and I made every effort, too."

They ate in silence, Harry kept glancing at Draco continually, but the blond kept his head bowed; his hair was hiding his eyes from Harry's view.

"Is there still something you would want to say?" Harry asked gently, reaching across the table and taking Draco's hand in his own.

Draco looked at their joined hands for a moment. "It's just this uncertainty," he stated simply.

Harry tilted his head to right. "Would you feel safer if we were married?"

Draco gasped, pulling his hand away from Harry's as if he had been burnt. "I-I....What are you talking about!?"

Harry smiled amused. "Are you telling me that the idea hasn't even once crossed you mind?"

Draco held his breath, contemplating what he should say. Harry could not be seriously talking about marriage with him, could he? Harry was just teasing his poor soul. Maybe he had been right that Harry would leave him. Harry was looking at him patiently as waiting for his answer. His eyes were not smiling anymore; they were filled with something Draco couldn't identify.

How could Harry even think about marriage? They had already lots of problems and marriage would not solve them at all. Unresolved problems would grow bigger if the got married to each other, and it would be harder to get away. Why am I always running away? he thought. Deciding to face what ever might come, he answered, "Yes, it has, but that doesn't mean--"

"Draco, shut up," Harry commanded coldly.