The Embittering of Severus Snape

Muriel awoke in her own bed and stretched luxuriously. Then she sat up quickly. They had only hit her with a memory charm to erase her memory of what had happened since she entered McGonagall's office. She had to find out what she'd said! She dressed hurriedly and headed down to the Great Hall. Breakfast was over. Only a few people remained at each table. Severus was waiting for her. She rushed past the marauders and several people from her own house to sit down beside him at the Slytherin table.

"Are you all right?" she asked quietly. Severus was staring at the Gryffindor table. James, Remus and Peter had all stood and were heading to class.

"Of all the people in the world, those are the last I would have wanted to see me like that," he said quietly. "But it worked," he added, handing her the morning's Daily Prophet. She scanned the headlines and found mention of Mr. Snape, but nothing about her father.

"They used a memory charm on me. If you're up to it, I really need to know what happened."

"I can't do that." Severus looked over at her. There was a hard look in his eyes. "You know I can't." he whispered this last so quietly that she wouldn't have heard it at all if their heads hadn't been so close together. She put a hand over his.

"I understand. Better, maybe, than you think." She squeezed his hand once and got up to leave.

"Thank you," he said suddenly. She turned, looking puzzled. "For not looking for any extra information while you were in there."

"One day, Sev, you are going to have to tell me what you're hiding in those dark corners." She left then, and Severus couldn't fail to notice that Sirius Black got up and followed her out. He sat alone in the Great Hall, not willing to show up late for Herbology with the Gryffindors. Muriel could take care of herself. She was certainly a match for Black.

---

Muriel sat gazing into space as Professor Binns' voice washed over her. It had been over a month since her interrogation, and she still hadn't heard anything from her father. She hadn't asked Severus to break the memory charm again, but she was dying to know what she had said. Her father had been present for Severus' interview, so she assumed he'd been there for hers as well. She decided that tonight, after her tryout for the Ravenclaw Quidditch team, she would try to contact him. It was dangerous. If someone else was with him, he wouldn't be able to talk, but she had to try.

She pulled out the letter Sirius had sent her that morning. She still hadn't told him that she was trying out for the Quidditch team, and he wanted to meet her tonight. They hadn't spent any time together at all so far this term, but she was thankful to see that he had at least calmed down a little. There had only been one incident where she was walking down the hall and was hit from behind with a dungbomb. She'd given him a set of house elf ears to teach him a lesson. It was then that she first noticed that the changes she'd seen in him hadn't disappeared.

The Sirius Black of 5th year would have immediately thrown a hex back at her. Instead, he caught his reflection in a mirror, and joined in everyone's laughter. She removed the ears so he wouldn't have to visit Madam Kinnison, and he steered her into an empty room. It was the first time they'd been able to talk since he'd watched her torture Severus. She had been surprised by his first question.

"Why did you cry when I asked you to hit me?" he'd asked. It had been bothering him all month. He still had a hand on her wrist, and when she tried to walk away, he'd pulled her back to face him.

She sighed. "I'd already caused Sev so much pain. I guess I just couldn't stand the thought of hurting you, too."

She remembered how shocked he'd been by her answer as she dashed off a quick note to tell him she was too busy tonight, but tomorrow would be okay, then stashed it in her bag to give to Gypsy later. Then she wrote one to Severus to ask if he would come to watch her tryout. She didn't mention her plan to contact her father. After class she ran up to the owlery to give the notes to Gypsy. "Don't get them confused," she warned, although her owl had never failed her before.

---

The rain was pelting her head so hard that she couldn't hear anything else as she flew around the pitch, holding a stubby bat and trying not to feel annoyed. She'd had no intention of trying out for beater, and she was sure that Severus, sitting alone in the stands, was laughing at her. There was a chaser position open this year, but it looked like they had already decided who would fill it. Each time a bludger came toward her, she aimed it toward the undefended goal posts. It wouldn't do to practice her aim on her own teammates. She did her best. It was better to be on the team as a beater than not at all.

When the whistle finally blew, she landed in the mud and went into the locker room to dry her robes. She'd seen the others who tried out for beater, and wasn't surprised when Kyle asked her to be on the team. She ran out to tell Severus, carrying her broom. She found him leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, not even trying to stay dry, and threw herself at him. "I'm on the team," she exclaimed, hugging him hard.

"Of course you are," he said solemnly. She looked up at him, still grinning. "You were the best one there. Beater, then?"

"Yep! Not what I'd planned, but at least I'll get to play!" She took his hand and swung it as she skipped beside him back up to the castle. They made a funny pair; Severus trying, as always, to look forbidding, and Muriel acting like an 8-year-old on her way to get ice cream. But he smiled in the darkness and held her hand a little tighter.

When they reached the castle, Muriel dropped his hand and shook out her hair before they went inside. "Has Lucius contacted you yet?" she asked casually. She'd been concerned for some time that Lucius might have told Sev that he'd seen Mur and Sirius in Diagon Alley. The first time she'd mentioned him, Severus had told her that he was no longer speaking to the arrogant blond, which had been quite a surprise. They'd been practically inseparable since the wedding last year, when Severus had spent all his time running interference between the groom and his bride.

A scowl came over his face almost instantly. "No," he replied shortly. Lucius had, in fact, sent him an owl not three days previous, but he'd decided not to reply just yet. They'd had a falling out over several things, and frankly both were wise enough to know that they were a danger to one another when angry. And Lucius' taunting, infuriating voice was still ringing in his ears.

"She wasn't in Diagon Alley alone."

"Well, who was she with, then?"

"I suppose you'll have to ask Bellatrix, she was the one who
actually talked to them."

"Sod off, Malfoy, I'm not asking Bellatrix about anything."

"Suit yourself."

It was here that Severus began the mistake that caused Lucius to
have him bodily removed from Malfoy Manor: "If I saw Narcissa with
someone else, I'd tell you."

"Narcissa would never be with someone else."

"Shows what you know." This last was grumbled convincingly enough
to send Lucius into a rage. Severus went headlong through the fire
and shooting out into his parent's sitting room before he'd even
quite realized what he'd said.

Mur felt the silence lengthen, and wondered what her best mate was thinking. She knew now was the time to ask him about using the mirror to contact her father, but he snapped out of his reverie and spoke first. "Congratulations on making the team. I suppose now you'll expect me to sit in the Ravenclaw section?" She laughed, dispelling the awkwardness, and pushed him playfully. "I'd better get back to my homework," he added, "That Potions essay is due Monday and I've barely started it." He clapped a hand on her shoulder distractedly and headed off for the Slytherin common room. Muriel felt like all the air had been let out of her lungs. She had wanted him to be there when she used the mirror.

She set off purposefully for the Ravenclaw dormitory anyway. Everyone greeted her as she entered the common room, and made a fuss over her new position on the team. It took nearly an hour to get through the crowd, and by the time she made it to her dormitory, Vanessa was already asleep. She let out a sigh of frustration and determined that she would try the mirror tomorrow night instead. This decided, she changed her robes and went back to the common room to celebrate.

But when the next evening came, Sirius was expecting to see her. She realized that she needed to tell him about making the Quidditch team before he heard from someone else. He really seemed happy for her, but she wondered how pleased he would be when she was in the air, knocking bludgers at James. She quelled the thought as they walked around the lake. This was the first chance they'd really had to spend time together and she wasn't going to spoil it.

Sirius did his best to keep the conversation on Quidditch. He hadn't told his mates exactly what Muriel had done to Severus, but he was pretty sure that James and Remus, at least, were aware of what it took to break though a memory charm. Remus seemed to understand, but James was a different matter. To him there was nothing that could justify using the Dark Arts. As a result, Sirius had spoken about it only with Remus. He had talked about it briefly with Muriel a few weeks ago, and come to the conclusion that she would never have done it if Snape hadn't had the idea in the first place. But Unforgivable curses were different from other spells. His cousin, Bellatrix, had told him when he was very young that he was far too nice to ever be able to use them, so he didn't need to worry. He'd been concerned that he might use one by accident and go to Azkaban. She had only laughed.

Seeing Muriel cast the curse on Snape, though, had brought home to him the idea that it wasn't only evil wizards who could do it. Still, he couldn't quite believe that the short brunette who was smiling up at him and chatting happily about Quidditch was the same girl who had stood over her best mate, crying as she made him suffer. He forced his mind back to Quidditch when he noticed her smile falter. They were on the other side of the lake now, and well out of sight of the castle. They still had half an hour or so before dinner, so they skipped stones on the water, laughing together as the giant squid caught some and threw them back, along with a great deal of water.

At dinner that night, Professor Dumbledore announced that there was to be a Halloween ball again this year. Sirius, sitting in the midst of his friends, turned to look at Muriel, who appeared to be very interested in her plate. He turned around again in time to see James getting up and hurrying down the table. He turned to Remus. "Lily?" he asked. Remus grinned and nodded. "Who are you asking?" Sirius asked him.

"Me? I'm going with Peter." Peter kicked him under the table.

"I MIGHT get a date this year, Moony!" he exclaimed. They all looked up as a girl from Hufflepuff, who Sirius thought was named Aurora, approached cautiously and asked Sirius if he'd like to go with her to the dance. There was an uncomfortable silence. The same thing had happened last year - he'd gone with the first pretty girl who'd had the guts to ask him. He'd even made a huge scene in the middle of the Great Hall and fussed over her for an entire week. But today he just looked at the ground. He could feel James staring at him as he resumed his seat.

"Er - I really can't go with you, I've - er - already got a date." He hoped as he said this that it was true, or he'd never live it down. She left looking disappointed and Sirius was rather alarmed to see two other girls approaching from different directions. James, Remus and Peter were all staring at him. "I'd better get going," he said desperately, exchanging a glance with Remus. He hurried out of the hall.

"How could he possibly have a date, he didn't get up from the table at all after the announcement!" James was looking after his friend in exasperation. "And since when does Padfoot turn down a girl who looks like that?" He gestured toward Aurora, who was laughing a little too loudly and tossing her golden hair. Peter was shaking his head, but Remus was smiling down at his plate. This seemed very suspicious to James, who was about to ask him what he knew.

He was interrupted before he could begin, however, when Remus looked up. "So what did Lily say?"

James did an awful parody of a female voice. "When your head has shrunk enough that we can walk through the door together, I'll consider it."

Remus snorted. "Better than the flat out 'NO" you got last year," he said diplomatically. James looked disgusted and grabbed a plate of chicken. Suddenly he didn't feel much like talking.

---

Muriel left dinner early and hurried to her deserted dormitory. She pulled out the mirror and whispered, "Papa?" as she settled herself onto her bed and drew the hangings closed. Suddenly her father's ring and several fingers appeared. That was his signal that he couldn't talk right then. But she heard voices, and one of them was calling her father's name.

"Deesia! What made that sound?" The voice was cold, and Muriel felt the bottom drop out of her stomach. She watched the mirror as her father pulled it out of his pocket.

She heard him answer, "Master, it is only a mirror that I use to talk to my daughter." She narrowed her eyes at the thought of her father calling anyone 'Master.'

The cold voice laughed. "This is the girl who so bravely kept you out of Azkaban?" it asked. Muriel's blood chilled as she realized that Riddle knew who she was. "Give it to me," he said quietly. Muriel swallowed hard as her father's masked face appeared. His eyes were uncharacteristically wide. She was momentarily dizzy as he passed the mirror to Voldemort, whose face soon appeared before her.

"Hello Miss Deesia. I must commend you on your accomplishment. It is no small feat to break a memory charm, brew an anti-truth serum and save your father's life in a 5 hour span of time. Your father is very proud, no doubt." He paused, his red eyes seemed to bore right into hers, but she didn't speak, so he continued. "I understand that your friend Severus is well recovered?"

She nodded slightly, fear creeping over her face like the mask her father wore. She waited. More than anything she wanted to dash the mirror against the bedstead so she would never have to see those eyes again.

"Excellent," he said, laughing softly. "I was planning to pay a visit to the Snape mansion over the holidays and it wouldn't do if he were too ill to receive me. I believe you live nearby. As you have served me so well already, I will be sure to drop by to see you as well." She fought back a scream, knowing that to show her revulsion now might cause her father a great deal of pain. Still, she didn't speak, and it seemed that Voldemort was growing impatient. She could feel him pushing against her head, as though trying to get inside. She looked away and he hissed angrily.

"You will speak to me. I will visit you. Do you understand?" His voice hissed dangerously through clenched teeth.

"Yes," she said meekly.

She cringed when he replied, "Yes what?" It was all she could do to hold her voice steady. She knew what he wanted to hear, and she knew that her father would feel the Dark Lord's wrath if she failed to say it.

"Yes, master," she whispered, looking back into his hideous red eyes.

"Very well," he said softly. Muriel watched as the mirror's image spun again. A moment later she was looking at her father, who had removed his mask. He was very pale and shaking.

It was all he could do to say, "End enchantment." The mirror went black for a moment, then Muriel was looking at her own face again. She tore from the room, pushing her way through the people filing into the common room and out the portrait hole, and thinking only that she must find Severus. She was running down the corridor on her way to the dungeon stairs when she hit someone solidly. Sirius had just come out of the library. His arms snaked instinctively around her waist to catch her, and she cried out in surprise before she saw that it was him.

"Sirius!" she breathed, "I have to find Sev, have you seen him?" Sirius shook his head, looking at her with a worried expression.

"Are you all right?" he asked. He was alarmed when she shook her head.

"No, I have to find Severus. Let me go!" She was struggling now. He hadn't meant to hold onto her, but he did now. He held her still and found her eyes again, which had been wildly searching the corridor for her friend.

"Tell me what's wrong." His voice was concerned, but she was wildly afraid, and had begun pushing at him again when they were both surprised by a hard voice.

"I believe she asked you to let her go." It was Severus, and she fell gratefully into his arms, sobbing. Surprised, he held her, looking over her head at Sirius, who turned abruptly and went back into the library. When she stopped crying, she pulled Severus to an empty classroom, and sat on the nearest desk as he closed the door. "What is it? I felt a surge of fear, so I came up here looking for you because I was pretty sure that I wasn't deathly afraid of my History of Magic essay. Was he hurting you?"

She looked up as though startled. "Not Black, no. I just ran into him when I was coming to find you. I used the mirror tonight to try and talk to Papa. I wanted to find out exactly what happened at the interrogation." She repeated the conversation she'd had with Voldemort word for word. It would be etched permanently in her memory, she knew. "So whatever we do, we can't go home for Christmas," she finished. Severus had sat at the desk and now lowered his head onto his arms. He didn't say anything. He had hoped that keeping her out of his mind would protect her from Voldemort. It seemed that wasn't going to be enough. Perhaps it was time to make up with Lucius. He would know what to do.

Muriel understood that he needed time to think about it all, so she stood up. She felt like she needed some time alone too. He didn't stop her as she left, and she made her way back toward her common room, knowing that it was a good while after curfew by now, and if she got caught she'd probably receive her 3rd detention of the year before it was even Halloween.

'It will be a simple thing to stay at Hogwarts for the holidays, but what about this summer?' she thought to herself. She was so lost in thought that she didn't even know that Sirius was near her until he caught up with her and grabbed her arm to turn her around. She stifled a squeal as he dragged her into the first available classroom. Unfortunately the door he chose led straight to Peeves, who was delighted to see them and began screaming at the top of his lungs. "Students out of bed! Students out of bed in the Transfiguration Department!"

Sirius swore and they ran back out the door, looking for someplace to escape to. "This way," Muriel hissed, pulling him by the sleeve toward the girl's lavatory. They waited in silence, listening as Professor McGonagall questioned Peeves. Sirius swore again when Peeves was able to tell the Professor his name and house. Thankfully he couldn't identify Muriel. When Professor McGonagall's footsteps died away, Sirius turned to Muriel. He looked very angry. "What was that all about with Snape? Are you seeing him?"

Muriel looked at him as though he was nuts. She didn't really want to discuss her conversation with Voldemort again, but at the same time, she could see how it all must have looked to Sirius. "Calm down, Black. I'm not dating Sev. You know that." She spoke softly and looked him in the eye.

"Well, you're an excellent actress then!" he snapped, turning his back to her. Muriel took a deep breath and sat down on the cold tile floor to launch into a second telling of her story. She knew that nothing short of the truth would be enough to make this up to him, and as much as she'd like to hex him for his accusations, he deserved an explanation.

"So you see, I had to find Severus because it's for him that I'm so scared," she finished. His back was still to her and he was silent. She had left out the last bit of the story where Voldemort had forced her to call him 'master.' It seemed like a wise omission.

He turned, finally, to meet her gaze, looking very uncomfortable. She smiled in understanding and patted the floor beside her and he came over gratefully and sat down, glad for the first time that he didn't have to look her in the eye. They sat together this way in silence.

"I heard about what you told Aurora at dinner." Muriel whispered suddenly. Sirius looked at her guiltily. He knew he should've asked her before he'd told people he had a date.

"Wouldn't you think it absurd if I asked you who your date was and why you hadn't asked me?" He blinked at her and nodded.

"Just as absurd, I think, as you wondering if I would rather be with Severus," she said carefully, avoiding his gaze. Sirius didn't answer. To her surprise, he pulled out a mirror of his own. She realized immediately that this was how he'd called Remus to bring them robes in their third year.

"Prongs?" She watched in astonishment as James face appeared in the mirror. Charming mirrors like that was advanced magic. She'd been impressed that her father had managed it!

"Padfoot? Where are you?"

Sirius gave him a lopsided grin. "Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. We could use some help getting out of here, can you come?"

James laughed and nodded, then disappeared. For a while they waited in silence for James to arrive with the invisibility cloak. Sirius seemed to be thinking hard about something and Muriel had a difficult time ignoring the many conflicting ideas that were intruding in her mind.

"Do you think you would like to go to the Halloween ball with me? It might blow our cover with Snape, but James is going to find out in a few minutes anyway." She looked at him sadly and for a minute he was sure she would say no.

"Sev doesn't go to those sorts of things. I can personally guarantee that he'll be practicing potions in his common room that night." He was glad to see the corners of her mouth twitching and realized that he was having trouble looking away.

He was just leaning forward to kiss her when the door opened and closed and James appeared in front of them, scowling. He had disliked Deesia enough after she'd thrown him in the lake, but ever since the incident in the shrieking shack, he had loathed her. Still, the mystery of Sirius' date for the Halloween dance was instantly answered, and that was some consolation.

"Did she slip you a love potion, mate?" he asked, trying to keep his voice light. Hexing Snape in the halls when he wasn't looking was one thing. Antagonizing Deesia to her face was a good deal different, especially considering that he was nearly sure she'd used the Unforgivable Cruciatus Curse earlier this year.

Sirius and Muriel scrambled to their feet, Sirius looking guilty, and Muriel looking defiant. "Potter, we need to talk." It was all she could do to keep from strangling him as he shrugged nonchalantly.

"So, let's talk. What should we discuss? You know a lot about Snape and a good deal about Death Eaters. Word has it that you've even experienced the Cruciatus Curse first hand. Why don't we talk about that?" He had a smug smile on his face, but it faded as Muriel continued to stare at him.

"Alright," she said slowly. Any vestige of a smile was wiped off his face. "Let's talk about that. First, though, let me apologize for throwing you in the lake. It was more than was necessary to stop what was happening and I shouldn't have done it." She waited, but he only nodded. They had hexed each other for years, but that sort of thing wasn't what bothered him anymore.

"As to the curse you saw me performing on Severus, I was trying to break through a memory charm that had been put on him by the ministry's Aurors after they interrogated him." She explained the entire situation with her father, not as she had explained it to Wormtail, but as it actually was. She filled him in all the way up to tonight's talk with Voldemort. Sirius listened silently, thankful that James wasn't interrupting.

When she had finished, James asked, "Why would you go to so much trouble to get your father off the hook if he really is a Death Eater?"

"Because I love him." The boys looked at her in silence, so she continued. "He never wanted to be a Death Eater. I don't think he understood, when he followed my mother to those meetings, what they would eventually lead to. He'd only just moved here from Italy when they got married. I don't think she explained it to him at all." James nodded. He remembered the one and only time he'd heard Muriel's mother's voice firing insults across the Great Hall at breakfast. "Once you're in you don't get back out." she added quietly. "That's why he's gone to such great lengths to keep me out of it." James swallowed hard. He still thought it was wrong of her to use that curse, even to save her father. But if Snape had really been the one to suggest it, and if his best mate really did care for her, then he was going to make an effort to get along with her. At least while Sirius was around.

Muriel could hear James' thoughts as clearly as if he were speaking them to her. She smiled at them both and said, "Good, then it's settled." She held out her hand to James, and he shook it.

"Now, what I REALLY want to know is how the two of you ended up in here, and what exactly I was interrupting?" James said laughingly, winking at Sirius, who'd gone a bit pink. They sneaked out of the lavatory under the cloak, and made their way back to their common rooms undetected.