The Embittering of Severus Snape

It was Avery, a week later, who first made the mistake of trying to hex Muriel for her outburst. She had known the trouble with Slytherin house would begin soon, and she'd been carrying her wand readily in her hand ever since the howler. She heard several pairs of feet scurrying behind her and turned to see that an avenue had cleared between her and the 6th year Slytherin, who was leering at her unpleasantly. She quickly placed the shield charm that her father had taught her a few summers ago. She wasn't very good at redirecting curses, though, and his landed hard in the wall above her head, charring the stone. Yells rang out all around her and several people stunned Avery, who slumped backwards into a suit of armor, making a nasty racket as he fell. Muriel was surprised when she looked around to see that even the Hufflepuffs in the hallway had their wands out.

"Thanks," she said, smiling. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to be pitted against Slytherin if the rest of the school were behind her. Several people patted her shoulders as she made her way to the Great Hall for dinner. She plopped herself down beside Harold Thomas, the 7th year Quidditch captain and beater for her team. He stopped speaking to the girl across from him abruptly and raised an eyebrow.

"What can I do for you, Deesia?" he asked. He, like most of the older Ravenclaws, knew her by reputation only, and that was more than he wanted to know. She hadn't gotten close to anyone but her dorm mates in the last three years. Still, he was inclined to like her after she'd made such a fool of Malfoy last week.

"Hi Thomas. I was wondering when the tryouts are going to be for that chaser position."

The older boy looked concerned. "Well, er, I didn't know anyone else was interested in it," he said carefully. "I'm afraid I've already offered it to someone." He felt a stab of guilt as she looked down at the table.

"Guess I'd better ask earlier next year," she said quietly. "Thanks, Thomas." She got up to go.

"Deesia? Next year they're going to need a seeker, a beater and a keeper." He paused as she turned around. "You might want to talk to Kyle about it," he added in a whisper. He had already recommended Kyle for next year's captain.

Mur smiled. "Thanks, I'll do that. Good luck next month, I hear you're up against Slytherin first. Give it your best go to knock Avery off his broom for me," she said. Thomas laughed as she headed down the table to find Marisa.

Dumbledore stood up just as Mur sat down. "May I have your attention, please?" This was a stupid question, since the hall generally fell silent every time he stood. Muriel rolled her eyes. "The other Professors and I have decided that it has been too long since our last social event. Therefore, this Halloween, we will be holding a ball for all students in 4th year and up. It would probably be best to owl home for your dress robes this week, as Halloween is only two weeks away." The professor sat back down and Muriel looked over at the Gryffindor table just in time to see Lily snap her eyes away from James, who was getting up to go and ask her to the dance. Muriel stifled a laugh.

"Why don't you go ask her, mate?" Remus whispered to Sirius as James got up.

"Who?" He snapped irritably.

Peter looked confused and kept silent as Remus answered, "Whoever you're staring at over at the Ravenclaw table. You've been looking over there ever since Dumbledore started talking."

Sirius stood up abruptly. "Yeah, I think I will." He made his way over to where the four Ravenclaw 4th years were giggling excitedly about the dance. Muriel looked up as he walked over and nudged Marisa, who turned a shocking shade of pink when she looked up to see Sirius.

"Er, M-"there was a slight pause and Sirius looked at the four girls, all of whom were staring at him now. "M-Marisa?" he asked. No one had ever heard Sirius Black stutter before.

"Yes?" Under the table, Marisa grabbed Mur's hand for support. She didn't notice that Muriel was looking up at Sirius with a very odd expression on her face.

"Would you like to go to the Halloween ball with me?" he asked, flashing her a smile. His usual calm demeanor replaced his stutter, and he looked once more like the collected flirt Muriel knew him to be. She grinned as her friend agreed.

That night the Ravenclaw common room was filled with girls writing home for their dress robes. Muriel had hers with her, of course, but she didn't think she'd need them. After her tabletop announcement, none of the Slytherins would ask her, and she didn't know anyone else. And Severus hated that sort of thing.

* * * * * * *

Muriel looked over the top of her Divination book as Severus pushed open the library door and set his books down on the desk. Two weeks had passed since the howler, and potions with the Slytherins had been more awful than usual this morning. They were still pretty sore with her, and seeing her working alongside Severus only angered them more. He was one of them, after all. As he plopped himself into a chair, she wondered if they'd been trying to hex him for continuing to be her partner.

She had cast the Legilimens spell to see if he would come up and sit with her. But when he caught her eye, she knew he'd already figured out why she had asked. There was no reason to say it out loud. Instead, she raised an eyebrow in inquiry. He matched her expression, shaking his head solemnly, and she let out a long sigh.

"Are you that afraid to be seen with me?" she asked quietly.

"I'm not AFRAID, Mur. I just don't like dancing." He answered curtly.

She lowered her eyes back to the book. She wasn't going to win this one, so she'd choose another battle. "What are you going to do all evening, then?" she asked finally, not looking up.

"Probably finish my homework and enjoy having the common room to myself." He replied smugly. "Unless you want to explore the castle again?"

"No, thanks," she said sourly. She didn't fancy another chance to get caught by Filch, although she was much better at her invisibility charm these days, and would certainly have a better chance to get away.

"Ah, Mur," he said bracingly, thinking her sour voice was because she was upset with him again. "Don't think about the ball, we'll find something else to do."

"I don't WANT to do something else, Sev," she hissed suddenly, setting her book down with a precise thunk. "I want to dance. With you. Is that so bad?" She didn't wait for his response. He had never taken it well when she was that forward, but HE certainly wasn't making any effort, and she was getting a little annoyed with him.

He watched silently as she packed up her books and huffed out. How could he explain to her that he couldn't afford to be that close to her, that just putting his arm around her the day her mother's howler had come had been a risk? He didn't want her hearing the less-than-platonic thoughts that were starting to appear, unbidden, in his head.

Muttering to himself, he pulled out a piece of parchment. He felt his face turning red as he wrote, remembering Papa's offer, which he now knew he had to accept. There had to be a way to get close to her without thinking things that would get him slapped silly. When he'd finished, he sat back in the chair and reread the letter.

Dear Papa,

I've thought about your offer of this summer, and decided it would probably be in my best interests to learn as much about that branch of magic as possible. Obviously I can't be seen with books on the subject, so I will take them out of the library and transfigure their covers. By Christmas I should have enough background that we can begin.

I know I was less than enthusiastic when you mentioned it. I am beginning to understand why you offered, and hope you will forgive my ignorance.

Thank you,

Severus

'Less than enthusiastic,' he thought scathingly to himself, remembering. 'I'll say.' The day before Muriel had returned from a two-week holiday with her Aunt Rosa over the summer, Papa had taken him into the woods for a chat:

"Severus, you and Muriel have gotten very close over the years, and I know you're aware of her rather alarming Legilimens ability," the older man began. Severus only nodded. He probably knew the extent of her ability better than anyone else did. When Papa didn't continue, Sev looked up. They were walking toward the dueling area around the lake, which was far enough into the trees to be out of sight of the houses.

Papa cleared his throat. "There may come a time when it will be less than convenient for her to hear your thoughts so clearly," he said delicately, looking into the young man's eyes. Sev looked confused. For a moment, Papa thought perhaps the boy didn't like Mur so well after all.

"We've always shared everything, even before we could talk, I sometimes imagine," he said quietly.

"And that's never made you uncomfortable?" Papa asked.

"Well, sure it has! She hexes me for what I think all the time, even if I have the decency not to say it out loud. It's like a conscience with a wand is following me every second!" Severus said heatedly.

Papa chuckled. Maybe the boy imagined that he and Mur were close enough that it wouldn't matter. Still, Papa knew what boys Severus' age tended to think, and couldn't help but worry that his daughter might harm the boy if she ever heard that sort of thing going on inside his head. Or, even more frightening, perhaps she would ACT on the kind of thing that goes through a 14-year-old boy's head. Papa shuddered. He couldn't let that happen. "I was more concerned with thoughts about her that you might be embarrassed to have her hear," he said quietly.

Severus looked back at him, eyes widening. Just what kind of thoughts did Papa suspect he was having about Mur, anyway? And what would the man do to him if he were to ever admit to it!? Suddenly Severus felt very uncomfortable indeed.

"Think on it, Sev," Papa said, his hand falling on the boy's shoulder. "Occlumency is difficult to learn and takes time to master. I'll be glad to teach you should you ever decide you want to try it."

Severus had sat in the woods for hours after that, casting hexes at the trees around him in frustration. And that was exactly what he felt like doing now, casting hexes to relieve his frustration. Unfortunately even HE couldn't get away with hexing people in the middle of the library.

He sighed and folded the letter. When he left for the owlery, it was with a stack of Occlumency books, the covers of which ranged from "Quidditch Through The Ages" to "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them." He would be ready to learn by Christmas. Maybe he could take her to next year's ball.

* * * * * * *

Muriel watched, amused, as Marisa fluttered around the dorm room, her hair plaited with ribbon that trailed almost to the hem of her pale blue robes. She looked lovely, and Mur was a little jealous that she'd been asked to the ball. Severus hadn't mentioned it once since she'd left him in the library.

Marisa, feeling her friend's discontent, spun around sharply. She couldn't find her left shoe, but it could wait. "Mur, isn't there anyone you could come with? What about Kyle?"

Muriel snorted. "Accio shoe," she said lazily. The missing shoe came whizzing out of the bathroom. "When did you take it in there?" she asked bemusedly.

"I mean it," Marisa exclaimed, catching the shoe as Mur tossed it to her. "Kyle would take you."

"I heard him asking Vanessa earlier. Forget it, Marisa, I'm a spinster for the night." She fell back dramatically on her bed, arms straight out.

Marisa laughed and shook her head. "There are other boys in the world besides Severus, you know," she said. This only served to make Muriel sit up and look at her with a solemn expression.

It wasn't long, however, before that expression turned into a sly grin. "No, there aren't other boys. But there IS someone I could ask. I wonder if he would get here in time?" She was gazing off into space thoughtfully.

Marisa narrowed her eyes and plopped down on the bed, pulling her shoe on. "I recognize that look. It's the same look you had on your face when you threatened to go to London while we're all in Hogsmeade next weekend," she said disapprovingly.

"I will, too," Mur said suddenly, making up her mind. Marisa watched her grab a piece of parchment and a quill and trot down the stairs, wondering if she meant the trip to London or inviting this boy to the ball, or both.

"Kyle? Can I borrow your owl?" Mur asked quickly as she ran through the common room. She heard him holler, "Sure!" after her as she vaulted out the portrait hole and up to the owlery.

* * * * * * *

She waited outside the castle. The air was chill and the wind was blowing, but she was sure that he would at least answer. She wasn't disappointed. It was only twenty minutes later when she saw a short, slight man silhouetted against a silvery glow at the edge of the forest and ran toward him.

"You got my owl!" she said breathlessly. "What do you think?"

"I THINK I'm being used to get your young Mr. Snape's attention." He grinned. She had once had quite a crush on him, but he could see that it had passed. He knew exactly what she was doing. But why should he mind? He thought of her more as a little sister than anything else, especially since he was nearly 12 years older than she was. It wouldn't hurt him any to help her out and be her date for a ball. Besides, it had been a long time since he'd been around other humans.

Muriel had the good grace to blush and look away as Maverick put a hand on her shoulder. "If I admit it will you dance with me anyway?" she asked shyly.

Maverick laughed. "That's why I'm here isn't it?" He offered her his arm, and threw a look over his shoulder at the unicorn. "See Adella, I told you she didn't mean anything by it." Muriel was startled to hear the beast snort in response, almost as if she were laughing.

When they entered the Great Hall, Maverick couldn't help but smile. The place looked just like he remembered it. Pumpkins with candles in them were suspended above them, and bats could be seen against the charmed night's sky overhead. He led her directly to the dance floor, choosing a place near Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall, who seemed to be too preoccupied to notice.

Muriel grinned at the looks the Slytherins were giving her. Malfoy's mouth was hanging open as he gaped over Narcissa's shoulder. She winked at him just for fun. Who would have thought that the handsome Head Boy could look so imbecilic?

"So, who's dancing with the headmaster?" Maverick whispered to her.

"That's Professor McGonagall, Transfiguration and head of Gryffindor house," Mur said quietly. "She's really strict." She made a face.

"I'm sure you deserved every detention she's given you," he replied mildly. It was her turn to laugh. Soon the song ended, and Maverick caught Dumbledore's eye. The two embraced like old friends while Mur raised an eyebrow. She still didn't like Dumbledore very well.

The bearded old man was eyeing her curiously, and she was becoming nervous. It wouldn't be good if he asked how she and Maverick had met. Fortunately a faster song had begun, and her date put an arm around her waist and took her hand. "If you'll excuse me, Professor?" he inquired politely before he swept her off to the other end of the dance floor and back again.

"Where did you learn to dance?" she asked breathlessly. At 14, she felt hopelessly uncoordinated next to his casual grace. She wasn't aware that to the watching students, she looked every bit as elegant as he did. At the last minute, Marisa had majicked her hair into a fashionable knot of curls on top of her head, charming it in place, and summoning flowers from the greenhouses to their open window to weave through her hair. Already several wisps had started to fall, as they danced, but it only added to the charm of her flushed cheeks and bright smile.

"I had an unexpected encounter with a fairy," he said. She looked at him incredulously. "No, really! My older brother shrank me once by mistake and a fairy found me. She taught me to dance, and sing, and play an instrument that I don't remember the name of. It hardly matters, since fairy instruments can't be magically engorged. The one I learned on was much too small, once my parents found me and returned me to the correct size."

Muriel was full of questions. It had been two years since she'd seen Maverick, and she was no longer infatuated with him, so her shyness had disappeared. They'd sent owls sporadically, but hadn't really ever talked about much, since the day she'd visited him to ask about learning to cast illusion charms at the end of her second year.

"When did you finish going to school here?" Mur asked as they clapped at the end of a song and headed to the refreshment table.

"Let's see. I guess I took my N.E.W.T.s eight years ago. Merlin, but I'm getting old! It's hard to keep track of the time living in the forest."

Muriel looked up to see Marisa sipping her drink quietly and watching them approach. She introduced her dorm mate to Maverick, then waited with her friend as he went to get them drinks.

"You didn't mention that he was so good looking," Marisa said appreciatively. "Are you sure he's in his twenties? He hardly looks that old."

"He's at least 26, Marisa," Mur said, rolling her eyes. "It was really nice of him to come with me. He knew I was only asking him to get back at Sev, of course, but he came anyway."

"Only?" Marisa asked knowingly.

"Well, he really is a fantastic dancer," Muriel admitted. Truthfully, she had to acknowledge that she was probably having more fun than she would have had with Severus, only because he would have sat near the wall and watched while everyone else danced.

"Where's Black?" she asked Marisa as Maverick handed her a cup of pumpkin juice.

She shrugged. "Disappeared after that last song."

Muriel looked thoughtfully at her drink and her eyes narrowed. The marauders had been blessedly quiet so far this year. She'd only been to the Harmless Hex ward 3 times. Perhaps they were overdue for some mischief. She sniffed the drink carefully, then set it down. "Maverick?" she asked, turning, "Did you drink -" She blinked at him a few times as laughter broke out around her. She had her answer.

Maverick had sprouted a very impressive headdress of peacock feathers, and was reaching up behind his head with one hand. His eyes were straining to see whatever it was that he felt fluttering above him. Mur couldn't help but laugh at the expression on his face. She took him up to Madam Kinnison, who had been on standby all night, knowing that SOMETHING was sure to happen while everyone was in such high spirits.

When his feathers were gone, Maverick said goodnight grumpily. Muriel, however, was grinning. Maybe she should have warned him that their feud was in full swing again. She walked him down to the castle door. "Tell Adella I'm sorry for keeping you away so long, and thank her for lending you to me," she said as he stepped outside.

"It was really fun," she added as he stared at her in surprise. He hadn't wanted anyone to know about his feelings for the unicorn. He wondered if Mur had ever seen Adella in human form.

"Any time," he said, trying to hide his sudden worry. He flashed her a smile before heading off with long strides toward the forest. Mur watched as a glow approached from the other direction, then went back inside. She had intended to go upstairs, but Kyle was beckoning her from the hall.

"What is it?" Mur asked. She still thought he was rather annoying, but remembered that he might just be next year's Quidditch captain.

"Vanessa ditched me, want to dance?" he asked nervously. Muriel wasn't sure she was going to be a very good dancer without Maverick, but she smiled anyway.

"Sure," she replied, letting him lead her back into the hall. By the time she was ready to make her way back upstairs, she'd danced with Macnair, Goyle, and at least two Hufflepuff boys whose names she couldn't remember. She'd been impressed that Macnair had had the guts to ask her at all. Though their parents were friends, they had never been close. Still, he wasn't so bad, when you kept him away from Malfoy. Not like Avery, who was rotten all on his own. She was glad that Avery hadn't asked her to dance. She would have had to hex him.

"Well, Marisa, did you have a good time?" Mur asked sleepily as she let her hair down, laying the flowers carefully on her dresser.

"It was amazing! He was so sweet. Well, except that potion in the punch."

Muriel laughed. "You must have known he'd pull something like that, they never go very long without a prank. Really, I think we got off easy."

"It didn't look like Maverick thought so!" Marisa was laughing now too. She threw her robes over the back of the desk chair and vaulted into bed.

"Oh, he didn't care that much. He just gets grumpy. He's not used to being around people. I'm sure he's already forgotten all about it," she said, climbing into her own bed and pulling the curtains around. "Thanks again for doing my hair. You'll have to write those charms down for me!" Marisa didn't answer, and Mur wasn't surprised. She was exhausted too. She fell asleep moments later, trying to plan what she would do to Black for slipping potion to her date.

Muriel sat uncomfortably in Transfiguration class. Professor McGonagall kept giving her odd looks. When it was her turn to transfigure the hamster in front of her into a duck, she scratched her plan and performed the curse flawlessly. She was rewarded with a slight smile before the professor moved on.

Black was sitting two tables ahead of her, and she had hoped to take this opportunity to pay him back for last weekend's pumpkin juice prank. She would only have had to flick her wand his way and change the pronunciation of the hex a tiny bit to turn HIM into a duck. It would have been perfect, but something about McGonagall's stares had told her that she was already on thin ice. Maybe the strict lady had learned how she'd met Maverick and was just waiting for a reason to question her.

She hurried out of the room when the bell sounded. Marisa was waiting for her in the library. She frowned, thinking of her friend. Marisa had been so pleased when, the day after Halloween, Sirius had asked her if she wanted to go to Hogsmeade with him tomorrow. But today she had been upset at lunch when she'd asked Mur to meet her after classes. She'd left without eating anything, and skipped every class since. Not a common thing among Ravenclaws.

She pushed open the library door and looked around. A few Hufflepuff girls she didn't know were studying quietly together, but there was no sign of Marisa. She headed into the shelves and found her friend sitting alone in an alcove, her head resting on the desk and her shoulders shaking. Muriel could see the scene that was replaying in her friend's mind clearly. She didn't need to ask what was wrong.

The table was tiny, and there was only one chair, so Mur tossed her bag on the floor, making Marisa look up. Then she planted herself on the table, her back against the window. She looked seriously at her friend. "He's a bloody git."

Marisa only nodded, tears still streaming down her face. Muriel took out her wand. "Legilimens," she whispered, closing her eyes. Sirius was out on the grounds with Remus. She could hear him thinking more but didn't bother with it. All she wanted to know was where to find him. She broke the spell and opened her eyes.

Marisa was staring at her, wide-eyed. Her tears had dried up quickly and now she looked worried. Mur had explained her Legilimens abilities to Marisa half way through last year, and the girl knew she could locate people that way. Muriel smiled at her reassuringly. "Don't worry. I won't do any permanent damage." With that, she kicked her feet and jumped down from the desk, landing loudly enough to earn them a sharp look from Madam Pince.

She left her bag in the library and headed outside. It was windy and cold, as winter was approaching, and she hadn't brought a cloak. But it didn't matter. Marisa would never have said anything to Black herself, so it was up to Mur to teach the boy a lesson. She found them sitting in the courtyard on a bench, and planted her feet in front of them, her eyes flashing angrily.

"What do you want, Deesia," Sirius said tiredly. It had been a long day. He had barely managed to transfigure his hamster, and his extra curricular transfiguration work wasn't going well either. Not to mention that stupid Hufflepuff 5th year who'd surprised him before lunch and kissed him before he could get away. He wasn't in any mood for pranks.

"I want to know why you would ask Marisa to Hogsmeade and then be kissing someone else only a few days later. She saw you, you know!" Muriel was only barely keeping her wand in check as he looked up, startled. Then the irony of it all sank in, and he laughed. The bloody prat had the nerve to LAUGH! Muriel's scowl took on a much more menacing look, and Remus tried to intervene, but she turned her wand on him, and he stepped back out of the way. He was brave, but he wasn't stupid.

"You insufferable git! Don't you even care that she's in the library crying?!" Muriel didn't wait for his answer. A moment later, Sirius Black was quacking angrily up at her from the bench, his shiny black feathers ruffled and his wings beating furiously. Muriel spared the boys a smirk as Remus snatched him off the bench and ran for the Harmless Hex ward.

"Doling out punishments for your weak mud blood friends, Deesia?" Malfoy had walked up behind her, flanked by two of his dorm mates, Minchew and Crabbe. "I think transfiguring a fellow student should get you at least a week's worth of detention with Filch, don't you?" His voice was oily and smooth, and infuriatingly superior.

"Malfoy!" A voice came from behind her and she closed her eyes for a moment. Severus had wonderful timing. "Your badge looks particularly good outside. It has a bit of a blue cast to it. In fact, from back there," he said as he reached them, "it reminded me a little of Mur's pet bird."

Muriel licked her lips, as they curled into a devious smile. Severus hadn't spoken to her since the ball. One of his house mates had gone down to the dungeons to tell him about her date as soon as she'd started dancing, and he'd been furious. He knew from the descriptions he'd been given that it had to have been Maverick, and he really didn't like him much. He'd spent the entire week remembering how in their second year, she'd blushed every time the man had spoken to her.

Malfoy looked worried for an instant before he sneered at them. "You have no proof," he hissed angrily. The fact was that he didn't want Severus angry with him, but he wasn't going to tell anyone else that. He'd thought Severus was upset with Muriel, and that they might have a laugh over her punishment.

"My father believes my word is proof enough," Mur said quietly. "And it's likely that Dumbledore will believe that HIS word is proof enough. Even suspicion of such a thing would lose you that pretty badge."

Lucius weighed his options. This was blackmail, and it was going to work. For the second time in one term, he fixed a smile firmly on his face. "Perhaps detention was a bit harsh. After all, Black is a blood traitor." The smile fell away abruptly. "Don't let me catch you again," he said sternly, and swept away, his goons following closely.

Muriel sank down onto the bench that Sirius and Remus had vacated and waited to see if Sev would join her. She'd been pretty sure he'd been avoiding her because he didn't want her to know that he was jealous, and now she could feel it, running through his head like a rip tide under a calm-looking surf.

"Thanks," she said, smiling up at him. He'd gotten very tall in the last year, though he was still extremely thin.

He gave her a strange look before sitting down beside her. She would know how he felt, and tease him for it. He resigned himself to this, and waited, but she just looked at him, her eyes cloudy and her expression concerned. Finally he turned toward her, tired of the silence.

"Want to go to Hogsmeade with me?" he asked.

She shook her head. "Sorry, Sev, I can't go this time, I've got plans." He saw her lips turn up and was suddenly angry again and fixed his eyes on the fountain.

"Visiting Maverick?" he spat. Muriel was surprised. Severus very rarely said anything in jealousy, though she'd known him to feel it once or twice. Voicing it meant admitting that he cared, and he'd spent years denying that, in spite of her ability to feel his emotions.

"Severus, he only took me to the dance as a favor," she began, her voice soft. She hadn't meant to hurt his feelings. She'd only wanted someone to dance with. She tried to take his hand, but he moved it abruptly, still not looking at her.

Mur raised an eyebrow, and stood up. He had no business being upset with her for going with someone else when she'd given him several opportunities to ask her himself. "You didn't want to go with me, remember?" She snapped. When he didn't meet her eye, she softened her voice.

"He's in love with Adella, you know, the unicorn. I only asked him because I know that he thinks of me as a little sister. He was safe, Sev." Finally Severus looked up, and Muriel smiled as his range of emotions shifted back to what she had grown accustomed to feeling from him. "Come on, let's get to lunch. You can sit with me, and I'll tell you where I'll be instead of Hogsmeade."