Sin of Lycaos

SIN OF LYCAOS

Part Three: A Place to Stand

by D.M.P.

***

There is a certain amount of kindness, just as there is a certain amount of light ... We cast a shadow on something wherever we stand, and it is no good moving from place to place to save things; because the shadow follows us. Choose a place where you won´t do harm-- yes, choose a place where you won´t do very much harm, and stand in it for all you are worth, facing the sunshine.

-E.M. Forester

***

Chapter 10

Life in London was much better than Lupin could have expected. The shelters, of course, were considered some of the shabbiest - and some of the most extraordinary - homeless centres in England. The city was so large and the people were so generous that two or three ramshackle buildings were paced in the most disgusting places in town, ready for any thug or drug dealer to bunk in. But, in all seriousness, Lupin didn´t mind at all. He had gone to London for the winter almost all the years he traveled abroad in the Muggle world. He could rough it out, more or less.

With Mary, however, it put a whole new spin on things. Lupin soon realised that they had become a much more vulnerable target with her by his side. People noticed a child, and he didn´t like the looks Mary was getting from some of the vagrants they passed in the alleyways. Most were harmless, but there were some who preyed on women and children that lived on these streets. He couldn´t risk Mary getting hurt.

And what other choices did he have? His childhood home was quickly sold after he and Murphy had left Hogsmeade, and he never had enough money saved to buy another permanent residence, only enough to rent during fortunate times. Hogwarts could be a safe place, but since the Triwizard Tournament was being held there, the place would be swarming with Ministry officials. He had committed the crime of attacking a human - a Muggle no less - and this could put both he and Mary in danger, even if there was no actual death involved. For a werewolf to attack a human resulted in Azkaban for life at least. Yet to create a pup without receiving permission from the Registry of Magical Creatures was illegal beyond all bounds.

It was clear that Lupin and Mary could never go to the authorities. Hogwarts was out of the question, for even Dumbledore had to abide the law.

And so, Lupin decided as soon as he arrived in London that there was only one other place to go.

Lupin walked with Mary by his side to the tall, nondescript building in north London. Small businesses and apartments flanked either side, but the building was cut off with a tall brick wall. Stepping up to the iron gate, Lupin pressed a bell attached to the fence. The air around them radiated with magical charms and protection spells; this house was pretty well equipped against any magical attack.

For a few minutes, no one came out of the house, and he wondered whether anyone was there. Mary exchanged a puzzled glance with him; she had no idea why they were here. From an upstairs window, a woman´s face peered out at them through the thick curtains before disappearing again into the house. Finally, after ten minutes, the middle-aged lady stepped out of the front door and walked briskly to them.

She stopped right outside the gate and stared at them through the iron bars. She particularly took note of Mary, and the girl found herself moving closer to Lupin´s side under the sharp scrutiny.

"She yours?" the woman asked stiffly. Her voice was quite husky for a woman´s and hinted a French accent.

"She´s the one from Havenshire," Lupin hedged.

"But is she yours?" the woman pressed, grey eyes flashing.

Lupin lied in the same straight-faced manner he always used. "No, she isn´t. It was someone else."

The woman gave a curt nod. She knew who this man was, just as he knew her; most werewolves had some knowledge of them. Remus Lupin was a very prominent figure in werewolf society, being the only one who was allowed to attend Hogwarts, the only one who was formerly educated in wizardry, the only one who was granted permission from the Ministry to be able to legally own and use a wand. He was also known for his great moral character, and so the woman believed him. Foolishly believed him. She opened the front gate. "Remus Lupin," she addressed.

"Claire de Chien-Loup," Lupin countered smoothly.

The two stared at each other for a long time, as if sizing each other up. Mary, in turn, looked at them with large eyes, afraid of what was going to happen next. Then, Claire broke into a small smile. "I am 'onored to make your acquaintance," she said pleasantly. "Come." They entered the house quickly, and Claire shut several locks when the door was closed.

Mary was confused. Where were they? She grabbed for Lupin´s hand. In the background, a faint buzzing noise was heard, almost like the sound of an old heater on the verge of breakdown. Looking around, Mary saw how the walls were lifeless and bare, yet impeccably clean. In the air lingered the smell of mothballs and the artificial pine scent of cleaning products. The floors shone with a fresh waxing; there were no dust bunnies in the corners. The whole building was immaculate but uncomfortably so. Like a hospital ward.

Claire glanced over her shoulder and asked, "Only a few days, is she not?"

"Very young," Lupin agreed.

"Just like you were, huh?" Claire continued down the hall, not expecting an answer.

Mary watched the stiff-backed figure walk ahead, her long black braid swinging down her back, and asked, "Remmy, who´s she?"

"Madame de Chien-Loup is the owner of this place," Lupin said. "She´s letting us stay here for awhile."

Of course, Lupin didn´t dare tell Mary the whole story. Claire de Chien-Loup was in charge of the Safehouses, several small refuge homes located throughout Europe and based in London. These were special shelters for werewolves everywhere. According to an agreement Claire had made with the Ministry, these people were protected as long as they resided in one of her Safehouses. Claire provided the costs and upkeep for these places herself, depending largely on private donations. The Safehouses were her life.

These places were more like prisons than homes, and Lupin wasn´t fond of the idea that the only choice werewolves had was to be locked up and under constant supervision. That was the reason why he had avoided these Safehouses until now. Yet he knew well about the security these places had. Security was what both Lupin and Mary needed. That was why he lied.

For there was one condition that all residents must obey: the werewolves allowed in her Safehouses had to be free from human carnage. Any who tasted human blood were banned. That was Claire´s only standard for her self-made sanctuaries and was the only reason why the Ministry wasn´t after her for housing so many potentially dangerous creatures in one area. As long as all were innocent, she and her houses were secure.

Claire showed them to a plain doorway at the end of the hall. "Currently, you are ze only tenants 'ere. Ze last one left two days ago and no one 'as come since. You are aware of ze regulations?" she asked.

"Mary might not."

Claire gave the child a much warmer glance when the two met eyes. "Zair are very few of zem, actually," she said. "One: Always address ze 'ead mistress," she pointed to herself, "before leaving for anywhere and always say where you will go and when you will return. Two: Never be out after dark. You are tenants at a Safehouse, but many wizards disregard ze fact when our kind is alone at night outside. And three: Always, always, stay in ze holding chamber during ze full moon. I´ll show you where it is when it is time. We can not take any chances now, can we?" She smiled as if making a private joke.

"Why do we have to stay in-" Mary started to whisper to Lupin, but Claire opened the door.

"I do not 'ave any rooms wiz two beds," she interrupted. "But I can send in a stowaway mattress for you."

"Thank you very much. That will do." Lupin put his shabby case on the bedspread as Claire gave a little tip of her head in acknowledgment.

"Your welcome. Dinner will be at six," she said politely and closed the door.

Lupin looked over at Mary, who was gazing around her. The room they were in was rather small and plain, just like the rest of the building. Painted in stark white, with only the bed and a small table for furniture, the room seemed indeed to be like a prison cell or a room from an insane asylum. Even the small window that let in the polluted city light had slim bars over it, with window glass enforced with chain link fencing. He saw the forlorn look cross Mary´s face as she said in a small voice, "We´re staying here?"

"Only for a while," Lupin reassured her.

Mary face fell. She was on the border to being miserable, the place seemed so cold and uninviting.

"It´s only a little plain because Madame de Chien-Loup doesn´t have time to decorate. We´ll paint this place soon enough." Lupin lifted Mary up and sat her next to him on the bed. "What colors would you prefer?" he asked her.

Mary perked up. "We can paint the walls? Honest?"

"I´m sure Madame wouldn´t mind," Lupin said.

"Mama would never let me get the walls messy..."

"Your mama never allowed you to decorate, I suppose."

Mary looked at the bare walls in intense thought. "Green," she decided firmly. "Pink is too girl-ly."

"But of course," Lupin agreed amiably. "Green it is."

"And unicorns on the walls?" she asked hopefully. "With knights and dragons?"

Lupin smiled at her, glad to be cheering her up. "We´ll paint as many unicorns and dragons and anything else you want," he promised.

Mary nodded her head, satisfied with the compromise. Then, she paused. "Remmy," she said worriedly. "I have to make a call."

"Call?" Lupin asked. "As in the telephone?"

"Uh-huh. I forgot to tell Mama and Papa where I was." Mary suddenly became stressed at this new realization. "They might be worried about me! Papa said," she added, "to always call home when I go places, like at Suzy´s house, so they know where I am." She slid off the bed and went to the door, reaching up on her tip-toes to grasp the handle. "Can we ask Madame de Chien-Loup for a phone?"

Lupin sighed. He knew that she was going to ask about her parents sooner or later. "Well, I don´t think we can call your parents just yet."

"But why?" Mary took her hand off the doorknob and turned to face him.

This was going to be hard to explain. "Come here for a moment, Mary," Lupin said in his gentlest voice. Mary hesitated, sensing bad news, then climbed up to the side of the bed. Lupin folded his hands in his lap, trying to resist the urge of putting an arm around the child and pulling her close, like a parent would do.

"Why can´t I call Papa and Mama?" Mary asked again persistently. Her little brow furrowed in worry and uncertainly as she addressed him.

Because they think you´re dead. Because they can never know what you´ve become. Because you´re not truly their daughter anymore. Lupin wanted to say those things, but he could never be this blunt, this harsh, to a little child. And so he did the next best thing he could think of. He was going to break her new werewolf identity to her as sincerely as possible.

"You followed me for a very special reason, Mary," he began.

"I know," she answered self-assuredly.

Lupin was amazed. "You do?"

Mary smiled a private smile to herself, like she was keeping a secret. "I came to help," she justified cheerfully.

"To help?" He was even more confused at this answer.

Mary nodded. "If Papa were here, he would have wanted to help you. But he´s not here now, so I´m helping you for him." She sounded so confident when she said that, with her innocent naiveté.

Lupin wasn´t sure he understood this clearly, but if this explanation satisfied the child, he wasn´t going to say anything the other way. "Yes," he said thoughtfully. "Yes, I suppose we came to help each other, in a way..." He glanced down at Mary. "I have to help you too."

"Nothing´s wrong with me," Mary paused. "There´s this dark thing here... but it´s not bad..."

"A 'dark thing?´ " Lupin asked, puzzled.

Mary pulled down the collar of her dress low enough so that her bare shoulder showed. A part of dark brown scar tissue showed. "It´s big," she said, pointing with her index finger from the back of her shoulder, across sideways, around her arm, and looping back toward the starting place, "but it doesn´t hurt."

The werewolf´s bite. God, he had almost bitten her entire arm off! She was especially small for her age, and his werewolf form was twice as big as a normal wolf, but Lupin never realized.... He wanted to see the scar completely, but was at the same time repelled by it. He could have taken her entire arm off in one bite! He could have killed her in one blow....

It was indeed a miracle that she was still alive.

"Of course," he said briskly. "Well, that´s a sign."

"A sign?"

"You have something special about you because of it..."

Mary waited for him to continue, interested by his words.

"Well," he continued, "have you ever pretended to be someone else?"

She thought about it for a moment. "Like a fairy princess?"

"Kind of. What about an animal?" he hinted.

"Sometimes I play horsie with Suzy. She´s my bestest friend," Mary added.

"Um, well..." If she were only older! Lupin could have told her the whole story much more easily if she had the knowledge that comes when one isn´t a child anymore. He could lecture, he could explain, he could show her everything. Yet Mary was only seven years old, and Lupin worried that he would frighten rather than inform if he told her the truth.

He said in a very soft voice, "How about if I tell you that you can truly change into another animal?"

"You mean, when I want to?" Mary inquired. "Like I can really turn into a horsie?"

"Not really. What I mean is," Lupin clarified, "you can change. Every month for a single night when the moon is at its fullest, you cease to be yourself and become a wolf."

No response. Mary went rigid and her face paled significantly. "Wolf?" she finally whispered, eyes widening.

"Yes," Lupin agreed hurriedly. "A wolf."

"For real?" An even quieter voice than before, like she was retreating within herself.

Lupin put a hand to his forehead and sighed. He knew that she was thinking about the beast that attacked her only a few nights before. The wolf that was within him, that side of him Mary had no idea about.

"For real."

Mary jumped back, so abruptly that even Lupin was startled. "I don´t wanna be that!" she wailed. "That was bad! It hurt me!" Her eyes clouded up with tears and she wrapped her arms around herself, moving back to the door. "It hurt!!"

"No, no, it´s not the same..!" Lupin quickly kneeled down by her. "Please, Mary, oh please, don´t cry."

"But it hurt!" Mary panicked, her exclamations coming faster and faster. "It hurt me and now I´ll hurt other people too! Everywhere I go! When I go home, I'll become a wolf and hurt Papa and Mama and then they´ll be wolves and hurt people and then everybody would hurt everyone else! It´ll never end!"

Lupin tried to calm her down. "Your parents won´t-"

The realisation struck her. "I can´t hurt them! But if I´m home and the moon´s out-" Her breathing jarred and she hiccupped. "I can´t go home!"

"I´m sorry," he said helplessly, feeling things go out of control.

"And I´ll be all alone!" she moaned. "I´ll never see Mama or Papa or Suzy or anyone else! All I can be is a wolf who hurts!"

"No you won´t, Mary!"

The remark came out too forceful than Lupin intended, but it calmed her down. She sniffed and looked away, putting her fist to her mouth to muffle her sobbing. Her back was against the door, face turned so that one flushed cheek pressed against the wood. It was as if she feared he would jump out at her. Or subconsciously realising that she needed to stay away from him.

He got up to his feet and stared out the barred window, focusing his eyes on the dull metal links within the glass. Did she fear him now? Did she fear herself?

No, he wouldn´t let that happen to her. Not like it happened to him.

"I won´t let you," he said determinedly. "That´s why you´re here with me. We´ll try never to hurt." Impulsively, he reached over and took her into his arms. Mary faced away from him, so that he had his arms wrapped around her small waist. "As long as we stay together, we won´t hurt anyone." To himself he vowed, And I´ll never hurt you again, Mary. Ever.

He rocked her shaking form gently, as a father would a child. "You´ll never be alone, not when I´m here."

After awhile, the sobs ceased and she grew quiet. Lupin realised that he had been holding her and let go, embarrassed by taking such a liberty. But Mary didn´t act offended; she didn´t seem to notice that at all. She leaned against him in silence and Lupin couldn´t help but embrace her again. She was only a child, and she needed him. And he needed her.

Finally, a soft voice was heard from the girl. "Promise, Remmy?"

"Promise."

***

In the hallway, Claire hesitated, her raised fist just above the closed door. Madame de Chien-Loup backed away quietly from the closed door and went downstairs.

Heading toward her private office, she heard the sound similar to a defunct heater still humming in the background. Wordlessly, Claire entered the room and came to her desk. Opening the bottom drawer, she stared mutely at the Sneakoscope, whirling round and round the bottom of the drawer, emitting a blinding white light. Now exposed to the open air, the shrill alarm echoed throughout the room, warning of deception. This was an extremely sensitive verification tool, and the only magical device that she trusted. It had been going off ever since she had let Lupin and the girl inside, triggered the moment after she questioned them.

Claire glanced up above her, to the room where her new tenets resided. She shook her head - somewhat disbelieving, somewhat disappointed - then shut and locked the drawer in one quick motion. The warning alarm muffled again, it reduced back to the low buzz.

On the desk was a Muggle phone. Usually used for mundane purposes only, the telephone had a spell-induced speed dial to the Registry of Magical Creatures. It was part of the deal she made with them, to report upon the status of her Safehouses every week and check upon suspicious newcomers.

Hesitantly, she picked up the receiver. If she broke the pact, the Registry could take away her housing license. Madame had a responsibility to her kind; she couldn´t afford to lose her livelihood.

Yet above her head was one of the most well-known werewolves in England. A famous man. The one who defied the system of oppression that many werewolves suffered. But most of all, a wizard.

The dial tone droned in her ear. She froze in indecision, something she was not used to. Yet finally, Claire sighed and hung up the phone.

She would talk with Lupin later.

Chapter 11

At six o´clock both Lupin and Mary came promptly downstairs to the dining room: a large, well-kept room that was as plain as the rest of the house. A long table was at the center, made to accompany a large group. Three places were set, and the small number was only exaggerated by the broadness of the table. Madame Claire de Chien-Loup was nowhere to be seen.

Both of them pulled up a seat and sat down. Mary had lapsed back into silence, and Lupin tried hard to get her talking again.

"We still have an appointment to paint that room, don´t we?" he chatted agreeably. "Maybe we could do Madame a favor by painting the entire house as well. What do you think?"

Mary stared down at her empty plate and said nothing.

"Well, I hope you´re hungry then. I know we haven´t been eating much on our travels so far."

Silence.

She´s in shock, Lupin thought miserably to himself. He hoped it wouldn´t last too long. When he was first given the news of his werewolf nature, he had refused to speak for a month.

A few minutes passed in quiet and Lupin looked over his shoulder, wondering where the head mistress was.

Smash!

There was a loud chatter from the direction of the kitchen, followed by the echo of several choice words shouted in French. Lupin got up from his seat and headed toward a door leading to the kitchen, saying to Mary, "I think I´ll see what Madame de Chien-Loup is up to."

Mary watched him wordlessly as he left the room.

"Merde! Zut!" Lupin heard her shouting from behind the closed door. He opened it to reveal Claire slumped in the corner, muttering to herself as she aimed a rusty fire extinguisher with one good hand. The other was dark red, bloody and burned. Several pots and pans were scattered about and two low pots on the stove were set entirely ablaze.

"My Lord! Finite inferno!" Lupin put out the flames with a quick sweep of his wand. "Madame, are you all right?"

She let the fire extinguisher drop from her hands as she looked at him in surprise. Claire, obviously embarrassed by this impression she made, hid her abashment by saying roughly, "I´m not always like zis, you know. Ze magic is ze problem."

She gestured to the stove with her well hand. "Last time I leave magically-run appliances to work by zemselves. Got it installed last week and now it just blew like zat. Must 'ave done something wrong - triggered ze flame blast incorrectly. Always despised those things. Despise cooking in general."

Moving to get up, Claire groped for the side of the kitchen table. "Zair is a first aid kit in ze closet." She grimaced from the pain. "I can-"

"No, let me." Lupin brought the woman to her feet. Placing his wand on the nasty burn he whispered, "Restorus."

The wound closed, fully healed, leaving only the dark trace of a scab. Instead of being grateful, Madame jerked her hand away. "I could 'ave 'elped myself," she said testily.

Turning away, she gave a swift kick to the side of the oven. "Absolutely loath these magical things," she spat. "Never allowed to work right."

That was a first for any person of the wizarding world to say. However, Claire wasn´t a wizard herself. If she was, she could have fixed the flame easily enough without the fire extinguisher and she could have healed herself with the aid of a wand if she owned one.

"Perhaps you would like some help?" Lupin asked. He hoped that Claire wouldn´t take offense again.

She was quickly gathering up the fallen pots and pans and was hanging them to the set of hooks by the wall. They must have been knocked over when she jumped back from the defunct stovetop. "You may," she said after a moment. "But don´t use zat wand of yours. I prefer ze mundane way."

"Of course," Lupin said diplomatically, tucking his wand back in his belt, where he normally kept it when wearing Muggle clothing.

Claire took off the large saucepan from the stovetop, now heavily scorched by the fire, and dumped it into the waste bin. "Do you want to 'elp too?" she asked, directing the question toward the doorway.

"Mary?" Lupin looked behind him to see the girl peering from around the corner at them.

She shrunk back a little at being seen, but then cautiously stepped into the room. "How- how did you do that?" she asked timidly.

Lupin was so glad that she was speaking again that he only half-heard what she actually said. "Oh, do what?"

Claire walked past him, dumping a bag half-full of potatoes into his arms. "Start peeling," she instructed, ready to get back to the work at hand.

"Put out the fire." Mary hesitated before saying the question. "You a magician?"

Lupin nodded slowly and tried to downplay it to the girl. "It´s nothing much," he dismissed uneasily. "Only spell-casting abilities..." He didn´t exactly want Mary to know about this so soon. He was planning to make an easy transition to the wizarding world - another talk perhaps - at least a better one than their first discussion. Apparently this wasn´t going to happen.

"Are you one too?" Mary asked Claire.

Madame de Chien-Loup was busy filling up a large kettle of water, acting as if everything had gone smoothly without the incident with the combusting stove. "I was not allowed to become a wizard," she said coarsely. "I´m only an ordinary werewolf."

"Claire-" Lupin hissed, but Mary brightened up with these words.

"Werewolf?" she asked. "Like me?"

Madame put took out a small paraffin burner from the cupboard and set it on the table, along with the pot. Then, she froze. "Oh yes..." she said awkwardly, realizing her faux-pas. "You don´t know of magic, do you?"

"I know a little now." Mary sat at the kitchen table and looked up at the two adults, who suddenly were quite still. Lupin looked a bit rueful, while Claire flushed with embarrassment for the second time.

"Then I´m not the only one?"

Claire continued her work by lighting the paraffin burner. She figured that her tactless way of speaking was not going to help. Lupin answered.

"We´re all werewolves," he explained. "That is why we came here. This is a safe place to us to live for awhile."

"So you were bitten too?"

"I was, yes." Lupin made to sit down at the kitchen table also with the bag still in his hands. Claire quickly brushed past again to take it from him.

"Obviously you´re not going to listen to me..." she muttered under her breath. She made her way over to the counter and began peeling potatoes herself as the water was set to boil.

"A long time ago," he said, "when I was about your age."

"And you, Madame de Chien-Loup?" Mary´s voice grew inquisitive and bright, relieved to know that she was in the company of others like her.

Claire glanced up from her hands, which were busily cutting and dicing. She looked much more comfortable now she didn´t have to deal with the magical stove. "I was born a werewolf," she answered simply. "I am part of an old French wolf clan from ze Pyreneés."

"Clans?"

"A family." Claire dumped the potatoes into the pot and began chopping other vegetables she had taken out.

Mary pressed the head mistress for more answers, intrigued. "So, there´s more?"

"Yes." Madame took several items from the shelf above and added them into the soup on the burner. She met Mary´s gaze as she threw in a dash of pepper. "But our numbers are dwindling. Wolf clans never survive very long nowadays." She turned back to her cooking, stirring with a long wooden spoon. "Ze Registry of Magical Creatures put a limit on ze number of werewolf births in ze clans about fifty years ago. And all werewolves who did not belong in a clan were classified as potential dangers, strays. For zey could be able to start a new bloodline of werewolves, something ze Ministry does not want."

Mary tried to follow as best as she could, but Lupin understood Claire clearly. She was telling this to him.

"These loners could not marry, werewolf or human, in fear of starting a new bloodline. If a loner created a pup through bite, zen both pup and maker would most likely be killed." Madame let the pot simmer and stared directly at Lupin. "Zat is under ze Guidelines for ze Treatment of Non-Wizard Part-'Uman Creatures, Section 13b, paragraph nine." True, Claire had faith in him. But her grey eyes were saying that she suspected something that she dared not voice.

Lupin knew her suspicions were true.

"And there is no loophole for this?" he asked in a casual manner. "What is the purview of these guidelines?"

"Zair may be something," Claire replied vaguely. "I 'ave a copy of werewolf law in my office. Who knows, zair could be an exemption zat I am not familiar wiz."

She turned the burner off and ladled the steaming soup into three bowls. "We might as well eat in 'ere, wiz such a small number of lodgers."

"I´m sorry there," Lupin snapped out of his interest in what Claire was saying when she brought the bowls to the table. "I meant to help-"

"You can fix zat blasted piece of junk," Claire amended, jerking a thumb toward the magical stove. As if on cue, it emitted a puff of dark smoke from the overhead fan. "Zat would be a big 'elp."

Sitting down at the table head, she concluded her point with, "But whatever ze reason, I am very open-minded. To me, a werewolf loner who created a pup is innocent of crime until proven otherwise." She took up a spoon and sipped at the broth. "Comprenez?"

Mary agreed, although the subtext of what Claire was saying went entirely over her head. "I bet the person could have been lonely," she suggested helpfully. "That´s why they´re called loners, right? Maybe they needed a friend."

Lupin bent his head low as he ate.

"Interesting thought, Mary. And what do you think, Remus?" Madame inquired.

He ate half his soup before answering. "Maybe it never meant to happen," Lupin said softly. "Yet I also agree with Mary." Then he addressed the girl. "This is your first time in London. You told me before."

Mary sipped her soup noisily, dribbling a trickle down her chin. "Uh-huh."

Lupin took a napkin and wiped her mouth. "How would you like to see the City tomorrow?"

Chapter 12

Thus the weeks passed in London. No new arrivals came, and so the three remained alone together in that nondescript building in north London, content to say the least. An unusual trio they made up - the magic-hating Frenchwoman, the former Hogwarts professor, and the Muggle-born werewolf child - but they got along as the days passed. Claire grew less resentful of Lupin´s occasional help around the place. Mary became used to being away from home, and she and Claire struck up a subtle camaraderie. The nightmares that had plagued Lupin´s nights were gone, and for the first time in years, he slept soundly every night.

Madame Claire de Chien-Loup spent much of her days in her upstairs office, managing phone calls (conference mirrors annoyed her) and Internet-video meetings with her Safehouse managers around Europe. Every morning one could pass by the closed door and hear her shouting something in French, German, or English - planning, debating, organising.

Afterwards, she hit the legal books, finding any way to put Lupin in the clear under the eyes of the Ministry and Registry of Magical Creatures. Many hours were spent with both of them in her office after Mary had went to bed, analyzing the tiny print that made up these legal documents. Often during these law interludes, Lupin fell asleep in the leather chair by the desk while Claire continued her search. She didn´t mind, and secretly liked watching him doze, with his brown-grey hair covering his eyes and his voice muttering nonsense things in his sleep. The scene was almost cute.

Because Claire was busy most of the time, Lupin and Mary spent their time together by themselves. Lupin did everything he could to make the girl happy. During the days, he took Mary out to see the vast metropolis of London. Together, they witnessed the changing of the guards at Buckingham Palace, imitating and poking fun at the guards who never moved (although when Mary kissed one on the cheek, the tiniest hint of a smile could be seen.) They toured the famous Tower of London, and got a chance to see the Crown Jewels that the building ceremoniously kept for the Royal family. On an unusually warm day near the end of October, they visited London Zoo at Regent´s Park, where Mary got to see the African zebras and Przewalski's horses run and play, although both agreed not to step a foot near the pen of Baltic wolves.

When November rolled around, Lupin persuaded Mary to visit the local famous cathedrals. St. Paul´s Cathedral´s architectural splendor was examined and held in awe, while Westminster Abbey impressed Mary, who personally thought of the quaint, rustic church she knew in Havenshire.

Trafalgar Square was pinpointed as the next spot of exploration. Even during the off-season, tourists still flocked around, taking pictures of the great statue of the naval commander Viscount Horatio Nelson while shopping at little pushcarts. Lupin and Mary acquired free passes from Claire and visited the National Gallery, a place where they stayed for hours on end looking at masterpieces by Botticelli and Vermeer, Michelangelo and Rembrandt. There was one painting in particular of a dark-haired man with a light-haired child in his arms. When Mary saw this, she giggled and pointed out, "Remmy! Someone painted us!"

Lupin pretended to give only a passing glance at the painting, but later, he managed to obtain a postcard picture of it at the gift shop and slipped it into his family Bible for safekeeping.

However, the nights had a different tone. All the times when Lupin had presumed the girl had drifted off to sleep were actually false. Many times Mary laid awake, peering from half-closed eyes, when he slipped out of the room to continue the legal search with Claire. What she thought of these nighttime meetings didn´t border on any improprieties in the child´s mind. Instead, she simply accepted the excuse that he left the room to possibly help her sleep better.

But this nocturnal isolation did not calm her. Indeed, it was only during the night that her fears came. In the dark, shadows around the room transformed into savage beasts that circled her bedside. The sound of passing traffic changed into the incessant growling of a waiting predator. The faint light of the slowly-cresting moon became ghostly and foreshadowing to her, and she shied away from the little patches that fell on her bedspread.

Mary would lay awake and shut her eyes tight, throwing the covers over her head. The wolves won´t get me, the wolves won´t get me, the wolves won´t get me.... Making a cocoon for herself out of the blankets, she snuggled deep within her bed and repeated this litany for minutes on end until sleep came.

The wolves won´t get me, the wolves won´t get me, the wolves won´t get me, the wolves won´t get me, the wolves won´t get me, the wolves won´t get me, thewolveswon´tgetme, thewolveswon´tgetme, thewolveswon´tgetme, thewolveswon´tgetme, thewolveswontgetmethewolveswontgetmethewolveswontgetme....

She never confided to her Remmy these fears. For if she did, Mary always reasoned, then that would only mean the shadow wolves were real.

***

By the second week into November, the two were firmly settled into their new lifestyle. They had been staying here at the Safehouse for about three weeks. During this time, Lupin had taken Mary on a whirlwind tour throughout London. Why he tried so hard to please the child was simple. For in Mary he saw himself years ago, the young boy without a home and without happiness. He wasn´t going to let Mary experience all the fear and melancholy that he had known too soon. She, in more ways than one, was his second chance at a pleasant life.

One morning, Mary came bouncing into the kitchen.

"Remmy..??" Mary tugged on his robe sleeves, jumping up and down. Claire had managed to tailor her some robes her size, which Mary wore around the house. The hems trailed down past her feet and she nearly tripped in her excitement.

"Hold on!" Lupin put out a hand to steady her. "Now what´s all this about?"

"I want to go to the cinema." Mary flourished a Muggle newspaper at him. "The Regus London Film Festival!"

"Really? Is it time already?" Lupin picked up the paper she was holding and scanned it. He had never been to a Muggle cinema before and asked hesitantly, "Are you sure you want to go?"

Mary nodded. "All those other places were really fun," she reassured. "But maybe just one movie..." She looked up pleadingly.

God, he was spoiling the child, wasn´t he? But Lupin couldn´t help it. It cost money to go, of course, and he didn´t like to plague Claire with the costs....

"I don´t know," he answered. "Maybe."

"Maybe?" Mary repeated, looking up at him with that same pleading look Lupin used to give to his father when he was young.

It´s official. Mary was manipulating him. And Lupin willingly played along once more. "Just one," he submitted.

"Thank you!" Mary jumped up for a quick hug before darting back to her seat. This is why I´m so yielding, he thought, kissing the top of the girl´s head before she slipped out of his grasp.

For a few minutes, the girl ate in silence and Remus took up the Daily Prophet to read. Claire had subscriptions to all the wizard papers, as if to make up for her Muggle residence.

"How come Madame de Chien-Loup never goes anywhere with us?" Mary abruptly asked. It was one of her sudden questions that often seemed to come sporadically from her mysterious mind now and then.

Lupin took a sip of his tea and looked up. Mary was waiting for him to answer. Both sat in the kitchen by themselves, since Claire had already left to continue her office work a couple hours before.

Behind him, the magical stove in the corner gave a half-disgruntled lurch and puffed out a small cloud of grey smoke. True, Lupin had attempted to fix it up during his stay at the London Safehouse. It was fixed too... well, almost. At least it managed not to set fire to the eggs this time.

For some reason, a nervous chuckle escaped from his throat. "Well, Madame is quite busy most of the time," he admitted. "We can´t disturb her business."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ZEY DROPPED OUR COVERAGE???" The outburst echoed from the other side of the house, where Claire was making phone calls in her office.

Both Lupin and Mary cringed from their seats at the kitchen table.

"You see?" he said pointedly. "She´s busy."

"Madame can be awfully grouchy too." Mary thoughtfully put her fork to her mouth. "Do you think it´s stress?"

This statement amused Lupin. "Now what would a seven year-old like you know about stress?" he asked, smiling.

"It causes high blood pressure. Papa used to have it lots of times."

"Oh?" Mary rarely spoke of her parents, especially not for such a casual reference. He wondered if she thought about them often, or even if she missed him. Her parents were a subject they avoided.

She shrugged and buttered a scone. "Maybe we should take her out to see the film," Putting the roll down, she slipped from her seat.

"You shouldn´t ask-" Lupin protested, hastening to catch up with her. He stopped her in the hall. "Maybe later, perhaps..."

"But she always works!" Mary pouted. She crossed her arms and glared at him with narrowed eyes. " 'S not fair."

Lupin sighed. Did Mary want female companionship? Was that why she was asking about Claire? It wasn´t as if Lupin and Mary didn´t have a good rapport between them. Maybe there were some things that were different between his and Mary´s relationship and that of the two girls. He had no idea; he never had to raise children before. Neither had Claire, as a matter of fact....

"I´ll go ask then," he said, "Will that do?"

"You´re really gonna ask her?"

"I think she is going to refuse."

"But at least you can ask her."

He had a bad feeling about confronting Claire with something as frivolous as this. She always seemed like the utilitarian type, who didn´t like extravagances. Certainly the no-fuss, serious attitude helped when running a European-wide operation. He hesitated when he came to the closed doorway. A glance over his shoulder and he saw Mary give an expectant stare.

He rolled his eyes and took a breath. He and Claire were both mature adults. Why would it worry him to be snubbed by her?

Inside, the Safehouse owner was busy arguing over the telephone.

"We were wiz zem since ze beginning! We even bought zair stock, for goodness sake! And zey suddenly cut us out??" Claire was sitting in her leather swivel chair with the back of the chair facing the door. "Well, did you tell Albert to sell ze stupid shares zen? Yeah, we can´t trust those two-faced liars." Claire leaned back on her swivel chair. "Why aren´t we liable anymore? Oh, zey merged? Wiz who?" She paused. "Zem?? Vraiment? Non! Can´t be!"

Knock, knock.

"It´s open!" Madame raised her head and waved Lupin into the office.

"Could you please 'old for a moment?" she said into the phone and put the receiver down on the desk. Letting her reading glasses drop down her nose a bit, Claire arched an eyebrow at Lupin and put down the papers she was holding. "Yes, Remus?"

Lupin stood by the shelves, examining the book titles. He fidgeted with the folded newspaper in his hands. "Are you, um, busy this afternoon?"

"Found something out about ze Guidelines zat I need to see?" Claire asked. "Actually, now zat you mention it," she shuffled through her desk drawers and took out a large volume, "I found ze most recent edition of ze Magical Creatures Code ze ozzar day and wanted to show you. Zair was a sub-clause put in a couple years back and-"

"Well, it´s not that."

Claire looked up at him. "What is it zen?"

He gestured at the newspaper in his hands and placed it on the desk. Nudging it toward her, he said, "Mary was interested in this."

Madame de Chien-Loup picked up the paper. "Ze Regus London Film Festival?" she inquired.

"She says that she never been to the cinema before," Lupin said. "I thought it would be nice to take her to see a film or two...." He trailed off and turned away bashfully. It embarrassed him to always be asking Claire for money for these things, not to mention what he had to ask now.

"Oh? And 'ow do you expect me to pay for all zis?" She propped an elbow on the table and picked up the receiver. "May I call you back?" she told the person on the other line. A muffled response was heard and she hung up. She looked at Lupin. "I´m not made of money, you know. Ze museum passes were expensive as it was."

"Well, actually..." Lupin ran a hand through his hair. "I was wondering whether you´d like to attend it with us."

Claire gave an incomprehensible look, then went back to her papers. "I can´t, Remus," she said. "I 'ave to call my agent back about insurance and I´m expecting a call at four from my cousin in Munich. Not to mention all zese files-"

"When´s the last time you went out?" he probed.

An exasperated stare. "What does it matter? When zair´s work to be done-"

"Mary would like it if you came."

"Sometime later, perhaps." She gave Lupin a quick look while shuffling the papers, which suddenly she took a great interest in. "Ze budget´s tight as of late also. I´m not sure if I can squeeze it in. And zair 'as to be someone 'ere, just in case...."

"It´s time I helped out around here more often then. I´ll make up for the cost somehow. And I´ll set up a Lookout Spell in case anyone comes. I´ll get the call and Apparate us back." Mentally, he was asking himself why was he doing this. She said no, get over it!

Claire suspected as much. "Why are you asking anyway?"

"Because Mary-" Lupin started. He stuttered when Claire appeared not to believe him. "Well, she did!" he retorted. Oh, really impressive explanation there, Remus, he chided to himself.

Claire took off the reading glasses and stared at him. She leaned forward. The papers lay in her hand, forgotten. "Do you want me to go?" she asked. Her voice was soft and expressionless, totally unreadable.

"It´s Mary; she wants you to go," he covered hurriedly. "You know how much she enjoys your company..."

"I see." Claire gave a small smile. It was the most sincere expression that Lupin had ever seen her give him. "But 'ow will you make up ze cost?" she inquired sternly.

"What do you need done?" Lupin asked.

"Hmmm......" Claire leaned back in her chair. "Ze protection spells for ze building needs to be renewed," she said finally. "Zat is ze most expensive part of zis building´s upkeep. I usually 'ire someone to do zat - zey charge crazy. Get it done, and I´ll go."

"Sounds easy." Lupin found that he was grinning at her, but couldn´t explain why. "I´ll do it then."

Claire nodded and picked up the phone. "Three 'ours tops," she said. "Don´t want to be away all day."

He agreed instantly, "Three hours it is then."

Dialing a number and retrieving some items from a desk drawer, she seemed absorbed back into her work. Yet Claire distinctly took note exactly when Lupin left the room; she watched him leave with half-raised eyes.

"Oui, oui... so we 'ave to get some new insurance, don´t we....?" she said in a distracted voice. "Huh? What did you say? Sorry, I did not catch zat..."

***

After breakfast, Lupin leafed through various spell books that Madame had given him. "You can find ze spell 'ere. Take your time," she had said as she plunked the pile into his arms. "I´ll be awhile." However, she had a little sparkle in her eyes that he hadn´t noticed before. Was she actually looking forward to going out? That was a surprise to him, and Lupin suddenly felt the guilt for not asking her out anywhere before.

He had several spell books laid out before him, each open to a different section. Holding Home Repair for the Handy Wizard, he was leafing through "Chapter VII: Bulwarks and Various Protection Spells" with Mary looking over his shoulder.

She read piecemeal, trying to sound out the words. "Take... Take one h-heart of.. croc- croc-"

"Crocodile," Lupin murmured, turning the page.

"Ewww! They use crocodile hearts??" she exclaimed.

"Hmm... yes, Mary," Lupin muttered, scanning the words.

"That´s cruelty to animals!"

"No, it isn´t. Shush, Mary, I have to read this."

"But what about the poor crocodile?"

"I´m sure they don´t go through much pain."

"You only think so because you´re not a crocodile."

Lupin shut the book. "Mary," he said with forced pleasantry, "why don´t you go off for a little while? I have some work to be done."

"But I want to help!"

"You can help by leaving me on my own."

Mary didn´t leave, but instead persisted even more. "I promise not to break anything."

"But you don´t want to handle any crocodile hearts," Lupin pointed out, "This spell requires five." He leaned an elbow on the book and looked at her. "I´m only doing this to help Madame de Chien-Loup. I have to get this right or we won´t be going anywhere today." He was suddenly struck with the realization that he was compromising with a child, similar in the way that a parent does. He quickly pushed that out of his mind. "Okay?"

"Okay..." Mary agreed and left the room, giving him a dissatisfied glance.

Turning back to the book, he began murmuring the ingredients aloud. "Five crocodile hearts, two cups of chamomile, six cloves of garlic, twelve strands of unicorn hair..."

Would Claire have any of the magical ingredients? She doesn´t practice magic. She can´t; it was illegal for any natural Dark Creature to practice any magic outside its own nature. Yet then why did she have these books on hand? It suddenly came to Lupin that Claire wasn´t the exact law-abiding werewolf. Otherwise, why would he and Mary still be here?

Could Madame de Chien-Loup be trying to teach herself magic? Such a headstrong, independent woman like her - Lupin had no doubt she could be. Well, obviously her attempts cannot be successful without a proper wand, something she can never have. And a teacher as well, to instruct her about wizardry.

How odd it seemed, though, that she trusted Lupin with her prohibited ways. Lupin wondered why Claire had such faith in them, or even why he relied on her. Claire could have turned them to the Ministry without a blink of an eye, yet she didn´t. Was it because he was the only wizarding werewolf in England? Or was it something more...?

He came to her office door again. "Claire," he asked aloud, "do you have any Northern Irish unicorn hair or Grade-A Egyptian crocodile hearts?"

"Non," came the reply. "I´ll order some through the Internet then, oui?"

"Uh, okay then." Lupin still didn´t understand some Muggle concepts. Take the Internet for instance. Somewhat of a novelty, it was something which even a few Diagon Alley storekeepers had begun to use to take and deliver orders. It was almost like magic the way Muggles used their technology. Imagine, having access to all sorts of information through the networking of billions of people via computers. To be able to find almost anything at a click of a button. To do basic tasks without leaving home. How strange to think that wizards hadn´t thought of the invention first.

***

Later that day, the proper ingredients arrived via express courier. A wizard errand boy delivered it by hand, yet reacted quite strangely when he came to the address. Upon answering at the gate, Lupin saw a trembling, pale-faced boy holding the bag in his quivering hands. When he asked what was the matter, the boy only dropped the package, and ran off, gasping, "Werewolf!"

It was an unaccustomed response that bothered him and made Lupin wonder how did other wizards perceive the Chien-Loup business. A pack house of terror where savage beasts are kept under lock and key, perhaps? There were rumors that he knew of before he came to these Safehouses. Yet he knew that rumors were only rumors after all.

Checking with the spell book at hand, he piled the items at the corner of the house. Then he ducked inside again to retrieve a rope ladder he saw piled in the basement. Scant effects from the anti-magic spell still protected the building, and so no spells could be performed outside on the property. A bulwark, but it also reduced him to using Muggle means to get to the roof.

Grasping the tangled ropes in his arms, he climbed back up the stairs. The ladder was quite heavy and twisted, which made for difficult handing. The end dragged behind him.

"What´s that for, Remmy?"

"Whoa!" Lupin grasped onto the railing, almost tripping upon the ladder ends. Mary grabbed onto his arm to steady him.

"Sorry," she said sheepishly.

"No harm done," he replied. "Now what did I say about leaving me alone for awhile...?"

"Can´t I watch?" Mary folded her hands together. "Please???"

He sighed. She was going to bother him anyway, so might as well. "As long as you don´t interfere," he exemplified. He headed outside with Mary as a second shadow, assembling the items.

Mary looked into the bag containing the ingredients and winced. "These are the crocodile hearts?" she asked, gesturing to a dark oilcloth bag inside.

"Indeed." Lupin attached grappling hooks to the ends of the rope ladder and with a skillful throw, hooked it onto the side of the building. He checked for any pedestrians or passing cars. The iron fencing around the property couldn´t cover up what he was doing. The spell had to be performed on the roof, and he didn´t want any curious Muggle eyeing him. It would have been much easier to do this under the cover of night, but the spell required daylight to work. Mary stared at the oilcloth bag. "Isn´t it bad to use animal parts like this?" she asked.

"Bad?" He turned to her with the ends of the ladder in his hand.

Mary blushed, embarrassed. "Like, you know... animal sacrifice or something." She said it in a soft tone, like she was whispering a word she was not allowed to say.

Lupin quickly negated, "It´s not animal sacrifice."

"But to use animal parts..."

"Mary," he reasoned. "I did not kill the crocodiles myself, nor am I sacrificing this to anyone. This is just a spell I´m casting for protection. Any ingredients used here is not used in the name of any god whatsoever, and I assure you that they were killed humanely."

Mary nodded and bit her lower lip. He hated to make any sort of ill-repute when he was with her; maybe it because of what she represented to him. He wondered what kind of man she thought him to be. He hoped, at least, not a hypocritical one.

He expounded his reasoning. She listened - Mary always had a knack for listening - yet he could only guess at how much she grasped.

She had pointed out cruelty to animals before. Yet all animal by-products used in potions and spells were sanctioned by the Humanitarian Board of Wizarding Products to prevent such inhumanity. Just like how Muggles had laws against cruelty to animals, so did wizards. Imperfect systems at best, both of them, yet better than nothing.

If she protests for loss of life, then how could she eat? Everything has to die in order for something to live. But, in the end, all life goes to the same place. He tried to explain that to her, and she hesitantly agreed. However, Lupin couldn´t shake the feeling that she was losing some of that inborn grace within her because of him.

"Would you like to go inside?" he asked firmly. He felt that she definitely should not want to observe.

"No," she immediately replied. Her eyes held a resolution that couldn´t be eradicated. "I want to watch."

He sighed. "If any cars come, warn me," he told Mary. She nodded.

Slinging the sack over his shoulder, he took hold of the ladder rungs and ascended to the top of the building. The Safehouse was basically in the format of a small apartment with a flat roof. At the top, he put down the sack and brought out the ingredients. The hearts were fresh and bleeding, and they stained his hands. Lupin grimaced; he hated working blood spells. Yet it was the blood from the heart of a crocodile that was needed; nothing is stronger than a heart´s blood. Hogwarts itself is said to be protected with the magic of dragon´s blood, the most powerful agent available.

Wringing out the blood from the hearts into a small vial containing the unicorn hairs, he ground in the garlic, then the chamomile. It formed a thick, dark-colored paste. This wasn´t the magic itself, but a catalyst that will trigger the magical reaction, once ignited. Pouring the mixture along the edge of the roof, he looked down at Mary from below.

She had a hand shielding her eyes, for the sunlight was blocking her vision. However, she was on the dark side of the property, so that the shadow fell upon her, and up above, Lupin was touching the day´s light. He felt self-conscious with her eyes upon him and moved faster. Lupin quickly conjured the spell.

"Praesidium induco edificium!" he commanded, and a quick jet of silver burst from his wand. It created a small glittering light that flew straight up a metre into the air, then spread outwards like a blooming fountain of water. When the falling sliver wave hit the catalyst, the reaction sped up and the light turned golden. Simply magical, a flash of light that lasted for a split second, and it was done.

Lupin had covered his eyes when the flash occurred and now lifted his head. Nothing could be seen left over from the spell; the traces of catalyst were wiped out and the glow was gone. The spell was in place.

He then took hold of the ladder and began climbing back down. The streets were still relatively deserted; hopefully, none of the neighbors had witnessed such a feat.

Back on the ground, Mary was sitting dumbfounded. "That... was.... Wow," she said in a hushed tone. "Amazing."

"Magic´s like that," he said. Jumping back to the ground, he wiped his hand on his robes. "Magic can be beautiful, if you want it to be."

He saw Claire framed in the doorway. "I finished early. You done?" she asked.

"Just in time." He looked at her in surprise. "Um, Madame-"

"What?" She turned to face him. Claire was not wearing her usual grey wizard robes. Instead, she was dressed in Muggle clothing: a mint-colored, long-sleeved dress of loose, flowing material that suited her figure and knee-high black boots. Her charcoal hair was pinned up into a casual bun, with wisps of hair framing her face. And - Lupin must be kidding himself here - her eyes were made-up and her lips rouged. Pragmatic Claire using cosmetics?

"Stop staring," she snapped, revealing her prude self again. Yet was there a certain glow of feminine pride within those eyes? "Do you need time to change?"

"Well, um..." He looked at himself and Mary, who were both still dressed in their robes.

"You look very pretty, Madame de Chien-Loup," Mary complimented.

"Why merci, Mary," Claire smiled. "Come," she said, taking Mary´s hand. "I made up some new clothes for you to change into as well. Are you coming, Remus?" she inquired to Lupin.

He could only manage to nod. Mary observed the expression on his face with a quizzical eye, yet Claire seemed to ignore it.

"What are you standing there for, Remmy?" Mary pulled at Lupin´s hand toward the door. "The next show´s starting in an hour!"