Rigor Mortis

RIGOR MORTIS

by D.M.P.

It was rather well-kept for a graveyard. The grass was green and freshly cut. Tall trees of maple and oak draped their leafy branches gracefully over the little paths and resting places, providing the area with dappled shading. Small birds sang their afternoon song in those trees, bringing a sense of life to the place. A summer wind blew, warm and fragrant with the scent of flowers.

The headstones were modern-made, clean-cut, and thick. Slabs of granite or marble were nice and straight and were placed in neat, wide rows. They were polished with the names chiseled into the fronts with stamped precision. The shined stones reflected the afternoon sunshine. A few had little statues carved on top of them, like a dove or an angel. Most had little flowers or bushes by their side. Some of those flowers were in full bloom, others were slightly wilted and in need of watering.

Overall, this cemetery was a modern one. She was glad the place was modern. If it was one of those old, crumbling stone and mortar graveyards filled with ancient family crypts, she couldn't have brought herself to go. She had nightmares weeks before of him as a poor, faded ghost, wandering in a barren, dark burial ground filled with crooked headstones and half-rotted skeletons. At least she knew those nightmares weren't true.

Cho gazed at her surroundings, satisfied for the moment. She had come here by herself, without the aid of her parents. They'll be mad at her when she got back, for running off without telling them. But she wasn't concerned with that.

Walking down the pathway, she made her way to one part of the cemetery. It was extremely shady there, and when Cho made her way underneath the towering maple trees, she shivered from the slight change in temperature and atmosphere. And standing there, a young, lost-looking girl holding a crumpled note, Cho faced the grave of Cedric Diggory.

"Hello, Cedric," she whispered. Overhead, the branches rustled, as if acknowledging her presence.

Cedric's grave was simple, made of white marble that glowed in the dim shade. Flowers were inscribed onto the smooth surface, delicate roses with twisting vines. His name was printed in Gothic lettering, along with the years of birth and death. Underneath that was the simple inscription, "Forever loved, forever missed."

How true, Cho thought. This was a sight that saddened her and made her feel empty inside.

This was the first time she ever saw Cedric's grave. Cho had never went to his funeral. It was been too painful for her to go at the time. Standing there, Cho could just imagine the little crowd hovering by Cedric's grave that day. His parents and family, close friends, members of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, some teachers from Hogwarts. Her parents, standing among the crowd of mourners. Dumbledore, with those blue eyes clouded by grief. She could picture them listening somberly, as the priest said his final words, as the coffin was lowered into the ground.

She never knew what his coffin looked like. But she didn't want to think of Cedric's body laid down there, buried underneath the earth, all cold and dead. All Cho wanted to think about was his headstone, which was beautiful and flawless as he was in life. Yet that stone was cold and inanimate too, wasn't it?

For a few minutes, she didn't say a word and simply absorbed the world around her. The wonderful little song of delicate birds, the soft grass under her feet, a dry touch of the wind that blew through her hair, the whispering of the trees. Such calm and serenity surrounded this place. Cho prayed that wherever Cedric was, he was feeling this peace as well.

Finally, she kneeled down in front of the tombstone. Placing her pale hands in her lap, she stared directly at Cedric's name and spoke. "I'm sorry," she whispered, and at the first words she could feel the tears building up. A lump formed in her throat and Cho grew suddenly angry at herself. She hadn't come all the way here to bawl uselessly! She blinked back her tears and continued.

"I'm sorry I couldn't come earlier," she said, trying to keep her voice from cracking. "But I couldn't come. I just couldn't." She sniffed and held the paper in her hand tighter, as she willed herself not to let the tears fall.

"I miss you," Cho continued, clenching her fists. The note became even more crumpled, and she quickly smoothed out the paper with utmost care. It gave her hands something to do while she talked. "I miss your voice. I miss your face. I miss your smile..." The first tear fell, and she quickly wiped her face before going on. "I wish we could dance again. I wish I could feel your arms around me."

Cho's voice cracked at the last word, and she paused. Closing her eyes, she thought of the last time they had danced. No, it wasn't at the Yule Ball last Christmas. It was barely a month and a half ago. Dancing in the rain. That dance was more special than any crowded, fancy Ball. A month and a half ago they had danced alone out in the open air with freedom and joy and love while the rain pummeled down and the lightening flashed. Cho could still remember the taste of thundering rain in her mouth. Nature's wine.

"Mom and Dad wanted to take me to a grief counselor the other day," she said softly. "They're afraid for me. I understand that." She kept her eyes on his name on the stone. Feeling the ground under her feet, she thought of Cedric body under the earth again, slowly rotting away in that coffin she never saw. Of how, eventually, his flesh would decay and smell, and how his clothes would become tattered and worm-eaten, and how those eyes she loved to gaze at would rot away inside his skull-

Cho shut her eyes tight and a sob escaped from her lips. Don't think of that! she chided herself. She put a hand to her stomach and thought that she would vomit. Don't think that!

Kneeling over, Cho gasped for breath and suddenly, she didn't smell the scent of cut grass, but the putrid stench of death and decay. Of Cedric, decomposing and dying in the ground beneath her feet....

Cho jumped to her feet and hugged herself, rocking back and forth. Don't think that, don't think that, don't think that!! Oh God, Cedric isn't there, Cho! Listen, Cho Chang, Cedric isn't rotting away here! He's not here! He's not here at all!

A low moan escaped Cho's lips as she fell to her knees. She moved away from the grave and sat on the little paved path that wound itself around the cemetery. Hugging her knees to her chest, Cho sat there for what seemed like forever, gasping and choking and crying as she rocked back and forth.

"That's not him, that's not him, that's not him rotting away," Cho lectured herself with a shaky breath, "That's just his body, that's all. That's just his body and he isn't here and his soul is in far, far away from here and he wouldn't want to see you crying and, and, and..." Cho gagged and her stomach felt it might turn inside out and spill all its contents on the grass.

"Oh God...!" she moaned. "God, why did I have to come here...?? I never wanted to see him like this, I never did!" The tears were running down faster now, and her sobs were rising out from somewhere deep within her heart, drowning out the sound of the birds.

She rose unsteadily to her feet and stared at the grave. "Just look at his name, just his name, nothing else," she told herself. Looking steadily at the stone, she felt her queasiness lessen and disappear. "Why am I here?" she whispered, swallowing hard.

No answer of course. Did she expect one?

Cho stared at the paper in her hand. It was a poem written by her. Cho planned to leave it at the grave, but suddenly realized how pointless that would be. She wanted to give this to Cedric's spirit, not his corpse.

Carefully, she unfolded the poem. If she ever wanted to read this to him, she should have never come to his grave! She should have come, should have come....

Cho looked up and saw one of those birds fly out from a nearby maple. A brown wren. It reminded her of the perfect place.

Hogwarts. She should have gone there. The school would be empty of course, closed for the summer, but she wouldn't be going inside. Cho would make her way to a special spot by the Forbidden Forest, a little clearing just a few feet within its borders. There was a pine tree there, planted a bit off from the center of the clearing. Its shade was meager, with only room for two under its drooping branches. Wrens had nested there; Cho loved to hear their calls. Cedric had taken her there often. That was where they danced last.

Putting the letter back in her pocket, Cho gave one last look at Cedric's grave. It was a beautiful gravestone in a quiet little spot, yet it could never be truly associated with Cedric. Cedric was never here, only death was. Cedric was in the Forbidden Forest, waiting for her by their pine tree, calling out her name. His voice echoed softly in her ears. 'I'm waiting....'

Turning away from the shade of the maples, she walked away. Down the paved path, past the other tombstones, away from the calming trees and the fleeting birds. She would go to the Forbidden Forest and read her poem to Cedric. And, perhaps, they would have a final dance.

Cho left the cemetery that day, without looking back. And she vowed never to return.