Petals of the Moon

Petals of the moon

The ocean runs deep, but my love is deeper. And that is why I stand here with a grin on my face, even though my heart is broken.

...

Today, everything is perfect for the occasion. White satin banners hang from the ceiling, and white rose petals lay scattered down the aisle. Unity candles light up the chapel and shimmering bubbles float mid-air, drifting with the breeze.

We, the audience, "oohhh" and "awwhh" in perfect timing. Today, there are no mischievous snickers from Sirius, Peter and I. Babies do not wail, mothers do not hush, and children do not squabble. All is perfect and we are mesmerized by the beauty of the occasion. Years later, our children will ask us what our one solace during Voldemort's dark reign was, and we will tell them: Lily and James' wedding.

"If this world was not dark, Remus..."

The orchestral music fades into the background, as the melody of "Here Comes the Bride" begins. We, the audience, rise at the same moment. Everyone is in perfect timing and it seems like we have practiced everything before. Indeed, all goes well for the wedding of the year.

"If it was not cruel, as it is now..."

Today, the wedding altar is surrounded by a halo of streaming golden light. It is so dazzling that it feels like we are all in heaven instead. In white Benedictine robes, it seems as if it is Saint Peter, not the priest, who stands by, ready to unite the perfect couple.

"If hatred, Remus, does not blind as well as love..."

In the middle of the altar, surrounded by a golden sphere of light, two ivory doves stand. Today, one bears the plaque: Love, and the other: Matrimony.

"If we do not survive just because we have to survive..."

Standing beside me, Sirius fidgets excitedly. He nudges me and points to James. James, standing ahead of us, has a pink blush on his cheeks. His hair is tidy for once and his brown eyes are sparkling excitedly. James looks like he has won a quidditch match.

And.

I do not allow myself to think more about it.

"Then I would not have chosen James..."

Steadily, she now approaches the altar. As she takes each small step, a breeze gently rings tiny, golden wedding bells. Birds twitter and break into song. Another breeze drifts in, and with it brings the scent of 'Lilies of the Valley'.

We, the audience, are captivated. We share the same thought: even nature has blessed this perfect and joyous occasion.

"But then, neither would I have loved you, Remus..."

She arrives at the altar and Sirius steps forward. He hands two gold rings to the priest, and walks back to Peter and I. The priest lowers his hand as a gesture for everyone else to sit down. The three of us, however, remain standing. We watch as sunlight pours in from stain-glassed windows.

"Because in this horrifying time of darkness..."

"Do you, James Potter, take Lily Evans as your lawfully wedded wife?"

James stares into her green eyes. He smiles.

"I do."

"Cruel blindness, Remus..."

My hands unconsciously ball themselves into a fist. I do not realize it as my arm tenses, and my nails dig deep into my skin. Sirius, standing beside me, senses something and looks at me. He realizes what is happening, and tells me so.

I stop, and then thank him. I do not want to spoil anything. It is her day, and she deserves to be happy.

"And do you, Lily Evans, take James Potter as your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I found something so simple that heaven does not know it exists."

Our eyes are now on her, and I attempt to keep an encouraging smile on my face. The women take out their handkerchiefs and dab their eyes gently. It is all very romantic.

"It is our love, Remus."

She whispers.

"I do."

"Our love is not just in the past..."

The ceremony is all very wonderful. We clap, blissfully. Nature bursts into song. Our eyes brim with tears. Love is not a sentence, we realise, love is Lily and James.

"It lives, Remus, as the propensity for evil lives..."

A light bulb flashes and the wedding photographer takes a picture of the perfect couple. The camera then focuses on Sirius, Peter and I. When the photo is later developed, Sirius is seen making rude gestures to the camera, I am smiling with my hands in my pockets, and Peter is looking at the floor.

"And because our love lives..."

The sound of clapping echoes around the chapel. Up to now, I have never realized that clapping could sound so harmonious. The golden halo of light surrounding the altar erupts into a brilliant sphere. Sunlight dances.

"Endures..."

And I cannot take my eyes off her.

She... is beautiful. She has always been beautiful. The golden light surrounds her, and her hair blazes in their autumn glory. Her large green eyes sparkle softly as she looks at James. Light shimmers off her dress, white as the pale moonlight in the night.

And.

I do not allow my eyes to linger longer.

"We must accept it as it is..."

The priest clears his voice as he looks around the chapel. With another gesture of his hand, the audience is silent. The silence is perfect. Everything is so perfect that no one is surprised anymore.

"As we accept the propensity for evil as what it is..."

The priest also looks happy. Nothing has blemished the wedding so far and he knows it.

"So be there at the wedding, Remus..."

The orchestral music softly begins again. We all lean forward in our seats and wait for the final words. Some of us clutch onto our handkerchiefs; others raise their hand sentimentally to their chest. We wait. We will reminiscent about this moment forever.

"And be happy, for our sake, Remus..."

"I pronounce you as newly weds. You may kiss the bride."

"Because if you love me like I love you, Remus, love me enough to let me go. And realize I will never return back."

We are all happy for them.

...

The ocean runs deep, but my love is deeper. So that is why I will stand here once a month, until the day of my death. Above us, light falls as petals of the moon. They drift with the wind, and cover us.

They cover us, me and Lily's tombstone.