Hermione Granger and the Sixth Year Makeover

"Your biological mother," Dumbledore said slowly, "was Remus Lupin."

Harmony stared at him.

"I know that may be hard to accept," said Dumbledore, "but don't worry, lycanthropy isn't genetic. There's absolutely no chance that you're a werewolf."

"That's... not the part I'm having trouble with."

Dumbledore nodded sagely. "You think that Severus hates Remus. But he didn't always, you know. After the finished school they..."

"Professor," she cut in, "Remus Lupin is a man."

"Oh, that!" The Headmaster laughed. "I'm sorry, I thought you knew. Men who are bitten by werewolves can become pregnant."

For a brief moment Hermione wondered where she had gestated, then decided she didn't want to know. Besides, she couldn't think of a way to ask without sounding like a Monty Python joke.

"But... but... Remus and Sirius never -" she began.

"What? Oh, those two didn't get together until years later, not until Sirius was out of Azkaban."

"I, er, what I meant was, I lived with them for an entire summer - why wouldn't one of them have told me?"

"We all agreed that the less you knew, the better, considering the Prophecy," explained Dumbledore. "If it hadn't been for the situation with your adoptive family, we wouldn't have told you until we were sure Voldemort was dead."

If Dumbledore said anything else, Harmony didn't hear him. She wandered through the rest of the day in a haze, dimly aware that her grades were going to suffer this year.

Although she still had those four pounds to lose (A/N: i no they use like stones or sumthin, but i dun no how much dat is lol), she went to dinner, but ate only ice cream.

Back in the common room of the suite she shared with Draco, Harmony fell asleep on the sofa while mentally composing her application to the Ford Modeling agency, since she was pretty sure her academic career was over. She dreamed about dating Leonardo DiCaprio. Well, not "dating," per se, but, um, enough said.

It was dark when she woke up. Since she had a crick in her neck from sleeping on the sofa, she groped her way to her bedroom without turning on the light. That proved to be a mistake when she crawled into bed and was greeted with a "Hey, what do you think you're doing?" from Malfoy. (A/N: Bet U didn't C that coming!!!112!!)

Harmony shrieked and leapt to her feet.

"Geeze, Granger, there's no need to scream. I'm not that repulsive." Even in the dark she could see his smirk.

"Sorry I woke you I should have turned on the light but I guess that would have woken you up too I'll be going now what time is it anyway?" she babbled, moving towards the door.

"It's about three, and I wasn't asleep anyway. You might as well stay and talk."

"Talk? Us? Why?" Harmony decided she was probably having a nightmare, and in a nightmare you're supposed to confront the subject of the nightmare, so she sat back down on the bed.

"Well, we've got lots to talk about, haven't we? I mean, for starters, what's up with these rooms? How come we never heard of the head boy and girl sharing quarters until we got here? And how come in a school full of some of the most powerful witches and wizards in Britain, they can't get the bedrooms to stop moving?"

Harmony sighed. "That is so far from my top ten problems today," she told him.

"Oh yeah, that's right, you just found out about that prophecy today."

"How do you know about that?" she asked suspiciously. Could he have been spying on her? For that matter, could ANYONE spy on Dumbledore's office?

"Snape told me, of course. He IS my godfather, after all. Heh heh - I guess that means we're practically siblings. Maybe you should get out of here."

Harmony was still suspicious. "If you knew Snape was my father, why have you been calling me a - a Mudblood?"

Draco rolled his silvery eyes. "Well, I had to keep up the act, didn't I? I couldn't have anyone suspecting I was a sympathizer."

"Are you a sympathizer?"

"Of course not!" he scoffed. "I'm a full-fledged member of the Order! You really are daft. How do you get such good marks?"

"What? Even after the Order sent your father to Azkaban?"

He snorted. "Good riddance. All he ever did was beat up on my mother, and - and - " Unexpectedly, Draco's lower lip began to tremble.

Harmony moved over and slipped an arm around his shoulders. His Quidditch-Toned Muscles ™ were incredibly tense, so she started rubbing them without really noticing what she was doing. "It's okay," she said. "You don't have to tell me about it."

The next thing she knew, Draco was kissing her. She found herself responding for several seconds before pulling away.

"What's wrong?" he asked. "I thought we were - "

"You know what, I can't deal with this right now," said Harmony, getting up quickly from the bed. "I'll see you tomorrow, Draco."

"My friends call me Drake!" he called after her as she left the room.

Harmony went to her own room and locked the door behind her. "Definitely a nightmare," she assured herself.