Harry Potter and the Foreign Exchange

Imagination Chronicles Inc.: Howdy hey!

Crazywryter: Wonderful! You're here at Chapter Three: Birthdays, Babies and Bachelor Parties!

Harry: So special they are. Anyway this is the chapter were some funny stuff happens. I'm telling ya who would ever think that...(everyone quickly puts their hand over his mouth)

Hermione: (whispers) You moron they haven't read it yet. Save it for the next chapter. (speaks normally) Sorry everyone, (turns to Harry quickly) we don't mean to give so much away (turns back to the screen) but you will love this part.

Crazywryter: And he thinks he has the right to call me a moron. The twit.

Ron: The love in this room is unbearable (shakes head).

Edward: Hey, hey, hey we got reviews!

Everyone: (starts dancing around the room) YEAH!

Crazwryter: Let me see. (scans the screen) (looks up and clears throat) Ok. I getting that the first chapter was a little too descriptive and it kinda left you in the dark. Well guess what. I like leaving people in the dark sometimes when I'm writing and I only do it in the first chapters, so :P on you. Oh, and thing about the third review, I don't think the big goof would know what a prefect is and I was trying to tell him in like five or less words. I know what a prefect is, ok. Garsh!

Hermione: will you settle down (points to a chair and he sits while grumbling). I apologize for my, ehmm, colleague. He's just a little touchy from going off on a campout and getting eaten by mosquitoes (looks towards Crazywryter who is obvious scratching entirely too much).

Edward: (Puts on headphones and starts jammin') R-E-A-D READ!

CHAPTER THREE: BIRTHDAYS, BABY SHOWERS,

AND BACHELOR PARTIES OH MY!

*O* Hi and Goodbye by A*teens

Harry arose the next morning feeling awkward. He did his calisthenics and his jogging with Dudley. He had taken his shower and eaten. He was also finished with his summer homework. He had played on Dudley's computer a few times. He and Dudley went for more exercising at dusk. He ate diner in silence. He went to sleep and did this all over again. Hedwig had come back just as he was jogging back with Dudley. She flew beside them while Harry read his letter aloud.

Dear Harry,

I would love to accompany you. Be ready by seven thirty on the twenty-sixth of July. I'm doing fine and so is Buckbeak. Also it's great that your cousin and you are doing great. Well, see you soon. I won't put my name in fear of interception.

Yours truly

He picked up speed and ran fast. Dudley followed him quickly on his heels.

"What was all that about?" panted Dudley.

"I'm going to a wedding and a bachelor's party and a baby shower and a birthday all at Ron's house and I need to send him an owl quickly," announced Harry.

"Oh, what do you mean by "owl" him?" asked Dudley.

"I'm going to write Ron a letter and give it to Hedwig; then she will deliver it Ron for me. While she does that I'm going to get ready to leave tomorrow with my godfather. I need you to do something for me," Harry explained to Dudley.

"What?"

"I need you to stay in shape and continue exercising like we've been doing and when I get back from school I want to see how you look and I don't want to see a fat blob who has been terrorizing everyone. Oh and don't go out bursting to your parents like that. I know they dislike me and all but they mean well. I'm really going to miss you," Harry told him.

Silence fell on them. Dudley held his hand out to Harry and he took it. Then Dudley pulled him to him and gave him a big giant death hug. Harry started to gasp for air in turn made Dudley let go. After Harry breathed heavily in for some air, Dudley and him went to Harry's room. Harry wrote to Ron telling him he was coming.

"Listen Hedwig, when you get to Ron's I want you to stay there and I should be there in less than two days if I'm not then you can panic. All right?" she hooted softly, "All right, now go," he said as she flew off and out of the window, "Now Errol you can stay here and I will take you there when it's time, ok"

The frail bird let out a very feeble hoot.

The next day, Harry arose feeling relaxed and energized. He did the most exercise he had did with Dudley this morning. Before Dudley could only do a tiny bit of everything while Harry could four or five times as much. Well, today Dudley did about 60 jumping jacks to Harry's 75. They bent their knees, first regularly, and then left over right, then vice versa, then spread them apart and reached for the middle. After that, they did leg lunges which both of them did fairly good at. Next was jogging. Both of them ran from Number 4 Privet Drive down to the park, which were 5 or 6 blocks away, back past Number 4 up 6 or 7 more blocks to the store and back to Number 4. They did this about 8 times. They did 70 sit-ups each and roughly 75 pushups even. Dudley allowed Harry first dibs on shower while he ate then they switched. Harry went to his room and double-checked his luggage. He told the Dursley's that he was leaving later on but they acted as though they didn't care. From there he went to Dudley's room to play video games. It was 7:15 when Harry heard barking outside. Harry went downstairs and out the back door. There sitting in wait was a big black dog.

"Dudley this is my godfather, Sirius," extending his hand out to the dog. Dudley looked at him in utter confusion.

"Harry, your godfather is dog," said Dudley pointedly. Dudley blinked at what was a dog now a slightly gaunt man, who like Harry needed a haircut.

"Wow!" Dudley whispered.

"You must be Dudley. Nice to meet you. Hey, Harry! Ready to go?" asked his godfather.

"Let me get my things," Harry said as he moved to the house leaving his godfather with his bewildered cousin.

Dudley began examining Sirius who weirded him out. After a minute a thumping noise came outside.

"I'm ready. Dudley, remember what we promised and do good," Harry told Dudley like it was his last time seeing him. Dudley nodded.

"Windgardium Levosa!" said Sirius as he tapped the truck, which floated a few feet off the ground. Harry grabbed the ends of it so no one would notice it floating. Before they went off Harry could have sworn he saw Dudley just trickle a tear.

"Bye Dudley. Take care. Bye you," said Harry pointedly at Dudley then at the Dursley's who were standing in the doorway supposedly seeing him off.

"Bye Harry see you soon," Dudley cried.

"Ah. Good riddance," yelled Mr. Dursley swished his hand at them.

Harry and Sirius, in his dog form, began walking towards the park in the eerie silent night. All the houses and lamplights were lit but other than that everything was dark but not too dark. When they got there Harry raised his wand in the air. BANG. A violently purple triple-decker bus with gold letters over the windshield reading Knight Bus appeared out of nowhere. A pimply-faced twenty year old with protruding ears stepped off the bus wearing a purple conductor uniform.

"Welcome aboard the Knight Bus. I'm Stan Shunpike and I will be your conductor for this evening-

"Hey Stan, can we skip this part and just get on the bus cause I'm in a hurry," Harry said quickly. Sirius head butted him in his leg for being impolite.

"My stars. Neville Longbottom. I haven't seen you in over two years. Come on up, come on up," Stan said to his surprise.

Sirius looked at him then to Harry funny. Neville Longbottom?

"It was the only thing I could think of besides I was twelve at the time," Harry whispered to Sirius.

"Did you say something Neville?" Stan said dumbly turning towards him.

Thinking quickly, "Oh, uh, is it alright if my dog gets on?" asked Harry.

"I don't know. Hey Ern, is it alright if the dog gets on?" Stan asked an elderly old wizard, who nodded.

"All right but that's eleven Sickles each but for fifteen you can get-

"Stan!" Harry raised his hand and dropped two Galleons in his hand, "No thanks. I'm sorry but I'm tired from working all day and I'm really eager to see my friend. Just take us to Ottery St. Catchpole please."

"All right," Stan said slowly, "here goes your change."

He handed Harry twelve Sickles. He waved his wand out at his trunk, which floated on to the bus up a flight of stairs and landed at the foot of a bed. Harry plopped onto one bed while Sirius jumped onto the other across from him settling down and falling to sleep. Harry went to sleep for a while as the bus rode off across the countryside. Bird bathes, cars, and whole houses moved out of the way and back into place as the bus drove along. Early the next morning Harry and Sirius were about a few blocks away from the Burrow where Stan woke them up and saw them off the bus.

"Thanks again, Stan," said Harry as another deafening BANG was heard, which meant that the bus had disapparated again in thin air. Harry looked down the street and saw part of the Weasley's house. He felt very happy. Sirius walked Harry to the almost towering house that looks like it was about to collapse if it weren't held up by magic. Harry went to the rickety old door and was about to knock when Mrs. Weasley came bounding out of the house she hugged Harry greatly.

"Hello, Harry, it's so good to see you again. How have you been? Are you all right? Did you get here all right? Don't just stand around Harry come on in and tell me all about it," Mrs. Weasley motioned him in the house. She also levitated his trunk inside for him. Harry walked into threw the kitchen door. Harry turned around to say goodbye to his godfather but he wasn't there. Nobody else seemed to be in the house except for a Weasley who was reading the Daily Prophet and drinking some coffee being it was morning. Suddenly the Weasley who Harry didn't know looked up, his paper flapped down...

"Harry! So good to see you glad you could make it," said the Weasley shaking Harry, "Whoa! Harry you got a grip there," he laughed.

"Harry this is Ron's Uncle Ben. He works as a priest from France. He'll be here for a while," said Mrs. Weasley.

"I'm supposed to be doing the ceremony," said Uncle Ben.

Uncle Ben was about as old as Mrs. Weasley also having flaming red hair but he had less freckles and his clothes weren't that bad off for a Weasley.

"Where is everyone? Are they asleep?" he asked looking her.

"No dear, the others are around back," said Mrs. Weasley, "Breakfast will be ready in an while."

*O* What You Dyin' For by Angie Stone

Harry nodded and walked into the living room just before heading out. He noticed someone sitting on the couch just as miserable as can be in the darkness. He took several steps closer and saw that it was Percy. His head was drooped, arms crossed over his chest, his legs stretched and spread out, and his face looked like it had been crying forever.

"Percy?" Harry said softly.

"Hallo Harry. How are you doing?" came the monotone of his voice.

"Uh, Percy is there something wro-

"Top of my class...Head Boy...all of this and I didn't see it before," came Percy babbling on.

"Excuse me? What are you talking abo-

"Harry I couldn't see it," his voice picked up a bit his head still didn't move, "I couldn't see that the Dark Lord had put the Imperius Curse on the person I looked up to as my mentor. Now he's dead because he tried to protect his son who is also dead. Top of my class and I couldn't recognize it earlier. Do you know how that feels Harry? It makes me feel worthless and violated and sickened to my stomach. All summer this is been haunting. It's my fault that I didn't check on him to make sure he was all right and now he's dead and he almost killed you. Harry it's all my fault," he finally looked up into Harry's eye, "It's all my fault! IT'S ALL MY FAULT!"

SMACK!

"Percy, cut the crap. Look at you, crying like a big baby over him like he was your dad. It's not your fault. Sure maybe you could have done something, but you didn't. Get over it. It's him and his damn son's fault. His son played him and his poor wife for fools and this is what happened there all resting in peace even though Barty Jr. should be put in custody so we can filter more information from him but he's dead so screw that idea. In the mean time you need to make do with what you have to do and that is to become a more productive citizen in this stupid thing we call life. Now cut out the pitiful act and get back to being the Percy Weasley we know and wish would stop being so damn snooty."

Percy looked at Harry, who was breathing deeply, eyes wide in amazement. Percy stood up, his face redder than his hair from where Harry smacked him and all teary. He dropped to his knees and embraced Harry's stomach being he was about 6'4". Harry patted his back

Not again, he thought, "It's all right."

Percy got up and took out his wand.

"Castuso," he sniffled as Harry's clothes became dry from where Percy had cried.

"Bravo! Encore! You know he's been like that for five months and no one has ever thought to slap him stupid," came a voice behind Harry.

He turned around to see Ron leaning against the doorpost.

"Oh shut-up," Percy said as he stormed off to his room.

Harry walked over to Ron who stood on his two big feet rolling his eyes.

"Well, well, well, if isn't my illustrious partner-in-crime. How you been?"

"I could be better."

"What are you doing up at," Harry looked towards the clock but soon realized that he couldn't tell the time from it...

"It's 6:50," said Ron as he saw Harry straining to figure out the clock.

"I thought you couldn't make out that."

"You only merely assume like everyone else."

They walked outside where the other Weasley brothers, Ginny, and Hermione were.

*O* Spinning Around by Kylie Minogue

"All right Charlie, come and get me," said Hermione motioning Charlie towards her.

"I don't know about this Hermione," said Charlie unsurely while scratching his fiery red hair.

"Don't be such a flobberworm and come on," Hermione egged on.

Finally Charlie charged at her when she noticed Harry and Ron coming towards them.

"Hi Harry!" she said not paying any attention to Charlie.

"Hermione! What are you doing?" said Harry.

"I've been taking martial arts lessons over the summer. I'm a black belt in several things such as karate and Ti kwan do...said Hermione distractedly.

"Hermione!" said Harry pointing at Charlie.

"Oh right," turning her attention back to Charlie just in time to jumped in the air over him, came down and pushing off of his back with her feet causing him to stumble forward, and then turned in the air took out her wand.

"Petrificus Totalus," Hermione shouted.

Charlie's body became rigid and he fell face forward into the ground. Everyone laughed and applauded.

"Ha ha! Charlie got pushed in the mud by a girl," laughed Fred.

"Oh shut-up. You know I could beat you too," said snapped Hermione defending Charlie who couldn't defend him himself in his current state.

"No you can't," Fred shot.

"Can too," Hermione shot back.

"Can't."

"Can."

"Can't."

"Can."

"Can't."

"Can."

"Gotcha," yelled George holding Hermione from behind.

"Cute. Very cute, the old decoy ploy, right. Well there is only one thing to do. George start to sing," shouted Hermione.

"Sing?"

"Solar plexus," Hermione left elbowed George in the gut, "Instep," She then stomped on the top of his right foot, "Nose," next she right elbowed him in the nose, which she had to jump to do, "Groin," she kicked him square in the balls where George let out a high note like an opera singer. Then she turned towards Fred who looked terrified. She ran to him and extended her foot mere millimeters from his face. Fred went deathly white and fainted falling backwards. She lowered her foot. Bill stood there trying his best not to laugh in fear she might turn on him. Harry walked towards her. >Hermione: I love this part! It's awesome! | Ron: Fred and George would beg to differ.<

"Mental note: never ever get on Hermione's nerves," Harry whispered nudging Ron in the side.

"Right," he whispered back.

He gave her a big hug and swinging her around. He put her down.

"Hey Harry," said voice from behind him.

Eyes like fire burn desire as we dance away into the night

He's attraction tools of passion are just too strong for us to try and fight

Each moment once again but I just never want to waste

Cause I never feel this way again

*Warning: Language*

Harry turned his head to see Ginny sitting on a stone wall. His eyes caught her amber ones as hers gazed deeply in his emerald pools.

God she's fucking hot! Harry thought as he thought he would melt. Breathing became difficult at this time.

Damn he's fucking sexy! Ginny thought, biting her bottom lip. She felt a chill zip up her body even though the wind and air temperature were fine.

They walked and met each other in between the distance. She was a little taller than he was but they saw eye to eye. They wrapped their arms around each other and hugged lovingly. Then looked deep into each other's eyes.

Nothing that just ever felt so right

Feel your body lyin' next to mine

As the rhythm of your heartbeat through me

All threw the night

Never thought I'd ever realize

Never felt so close to paradise

Boy I could spend my whole life living

Forever in your eyes

*O* Come On Get Up by Janet Jackson

They stood there gazing heavily into each other's eyes as if they were stuck that way from time. Ron got up close and cleared his throat. Suddenly everything swam back into vision. They separated.

"Nice to see you too," Harry said straightening up.

"Sorry to break this love fest, but it's time to eat," Ron announced to them.

They moved into the house (Hermione had to go back and release Charlie so, he wouldn't miss out). They sat down at the table where Uncle Ben had left and had been replaced by Bill who seem so be eating his eggs already. They all started filling their plates with eggs, toast, whatever that Mrs. Weasley cooked. Also they started talking up a storm with the person around them.

"So Bill when's the 'lucky lady' suppose to get here?" asked Fred sarcastically.

"She's suppose to be here as soon as the doctor says she able to leave the hospital," Bill answered.

"How come you never introduced us to her before? I mean how long have you know this woman?" George asked.

He narrowed his eyes at them both, "Right like I'm suppose to introduce the woman of my dreams to you two. Besides, our two-year anniversary is coming up on the-

"You've known her for two-years and you have never mention her to us at all," yelled Mrs. Weasley.

"Mum, you've all met her before. Remember that desk clerk that worked in that expensive hotel you guys went to when you won that contest thing. I got an address and we hooked up," Bill replied.

There was a knock on the door where Bill went to and answered it. Whoever it was hugged him. He ushered in a tall young woman of about Bill's age (I'm sure he would be about 30 by now) wearing a red robe with the collar laid flat on her shoulders. Her hazel colored hair was in two curled ponytails and she wore oval shaped glasses that covered her hazel eyes. She had her slender hands over her protruding stomach.

"Hello everyone I'm Evelyn Stragginson. It's an honor to meet you all," she said politely.

Everyone was looking as though an angel with a rather large stomach walked threw the door or at least the guys were.

"Dude she's hot!" said Charlie.

"Dude she's huge!" said Fred.

"Dude she's pregnant!" said George.

"PREGNANT!" yelled Mrs. Weasley rounding on Bill, "YOU NEVER SAID SHE WAS PREGNANT!"

"Yes I did. I told you in the letter I sent you sometime ago. Didn't you guys get it?" Bill shouted back.

"LETTER? What letter? I never got a- you have three seconds to give it," Mrs. Weasley said as she extended her hand.

Fred reached in his pocket and pulled out a half crinkled letter. He quickly handed it to his mother before she got to two. Mrs. Weasley snatched the letter and began reading it.

"Uh, did I come at a bad time? Maybe I should leave-

"No, oh, no dear it's all here. It's a bit of a shock because I just now received the letter that he sent sometime ago," said Mrs. Weasley hastily.

"Why did you hide it?" came an angered Bill.

"Well you know us we like to see her expression sometimes every once in a while," said Fred. Bill rolled his eyes and everyone sighed.

"You must be Fred and George. The stories are endless," said Evelyn nicely to the twins, "I also have three joker brothers myself. They get into all sorts of trouble."

"Pranks."

"Jokes."

"Mischief."

"That sort of stuff."

She nodded.

"Do they play Quidditch?"

She looked at them with a readable expression, "Do they play Quidditch? Do birds fly? Of course, they play. They are all chasers. The funny thing is that they really don't plan out where to go and which way to do this and that, they just seem to know what to do and this always confuses the other team."

The twins grinned wickedly, "Will have to meet them won't we."

Evelyn shook her head. Bill walked his fiancé up a flight of stairs and into his room. That's were she spent her time with Hermione, Ginny, and Mrs. Weasley. The guys had to wait on her hand and foot. This went on for a few days until Monday came when they had the baby shower. Evelyn got several gifts such as diapers, baby formulas, Becky Bobbins' Baby Guide: Bundle of Joy with Blunders Waiting to Happen by Becky Bobbins, etc.

"Thank you everyone hopefully we maybe able to use some of this stuff," said Evelyn oddly looking something she had no idea how to use.

Later became night when the Weasley brothers, Harry, and a couple of Bill's friends who had come for the wedding all went to London for Bill's bachelor party at the Leaky Cauldron. Bill, his friends, and Charlie all drank some brandy while the twins, Harry, and Ron had to drink butterbeer being underage. Percy drank butterbeer just because he wanted to. Somehow the twins had gotten a hold of one or two of brandies and became inebriated a little. They all had a wild night. Some of their classmates from school had come to Diagon Alley for supplies and stopped in for a drink or two.

They all danced with some witches that were there except for Harry, Ron, who didn't dance, and Percy being to "busy" with his own girlfriend, Penelope Clearwater who had come with him as a date.

They didn't get back to the house until three in the morning. Mrs. Weasley tried her best to refrain from yelling while giving Harry, Ron, and the twins breath checks. For a while, Fred and George had somehow disguised their breath and bamboozled Mrs. Weasley. That was until that little thing called a hangover hit and hard. They began throwing up all over the place. Mrs. Weasley had become hoarse from yelling at them. Mr. Weasley tried giving them a slap on the wrist but failed miserable, Hermione and Ron spent all of that day trying to fix his dress robe for tomorrow so it didn't look so messy on him.

Finally the next day came. The morning of the wedding was nothing but pure hell.