To Feign Ignorance

To Feign Ignorance

Denial. It's one of those things I assumed would never happen to me. How can I possibly ignore what's really happening to me? I can't figure it out. Psychologically, the facts don't add up. Aren't things like this supposed to happen to the...you know, those people who are off their jump? Those of us who aren't playing with a full deck? I've always considered myself to be relatively sane. I ask you, who doesn't get a bit stressed sometimes? There are so many things to get upset about : schoolwork, Harry, Voldemort. You know things like that; things normal seventh years would worry about, were they all...like me. I've only missed about 3 total test questions in my lifetime, and that should comfort me to the point where I could convince myself that I have a degree of control. If I can keep all those facts in my head without going positively insane, I've accomplished something, wouldn't you agree? But that night in the Three Broomsticks...everything was shaken horribly. My world was suddenly altered beyond recognition and all I kept thinking was: this isn't happening; this isn't true! Well, I still think that because well...I'm Hermione Granger. I'm not supposed to be slow on the uptake, and I'm not! I mean I notice things that go on around me! I'm not blind! Oh Bloody Hell...

It was one of those frosty nights that took one's breath away. I put on my favorite red jumper, and bundled up to meet everyone at the Three Broomsticks. I had a nice feeling of peace for once in all the years I've been at Hogwarts. It was holiday time and all the Prefects wanted to throw a party so I had to help out organizing it, being the Head Girl. As I was slowly buttoning my coat, I happily anticipated the warm butterbeer, and maybe just being able to relax a bit after carrying on at such a pace. I walked down the hall to the Head Boy's room. I knocked on the door.

"Harry? Are you coming?"

"Hang on Mione!" came a muffled voice from within. A few seconds later a smiling Harry opened the door, stepped out and closed it behind him.

"Ready to party Mione?" he asked grinning.

"I don't know what I'm ready for anymore..." I smirked a little as we walked to the common room.

"So, have you started studying for N.E.W.T.s yet?" he asked me, probably already knowing the answer.

"Would it shock you if I said I've been studying for them since after O.W.L.s?"

"No, not really!" we both laughed. After a while of walking through the castle, Harry tentatively asked the question:

"So, how's Ron been?"

"Why should you ask me?" I asked laughing a little, thinking he was joking. I mean, he and Ron were best friends...

"Oh!" Harry proclaimed, "No reason..." he said apparently trying to cover up a misapprehension. I puzzled over this, as you might imagine, but I stopped when I decided I couldn't make anything of it. I clapped my gloves together when we reached the chill air as a means of attaining warmth by friction. Harry seemed to be struggling with something all the way into Hogsmeade and didn't talk much. Our feet crunched quietly in the snow until we heard the voices of the prefects and other students making their way into the warm pub. The windows were alight, and singing could be heard. We stepped onto the threshold of the pub and Harry was suddenly gregarious again and went off to join Ginny and Luna at the bar. I slowly took off my gloves, coat and hat as I looked around to see anyone I knew. Ron was talking quietly to Seamus and Dean, as Ernie and Hannah gulped down what appeared to be their fifth butterbeer. Lavendar, Parvati and Padma were playing around with some Tarot cards and Harry was regaling Ginny and Luna with some apparently hilarious anecdote. I found my favorite booth in the corner, ordered a butterbeer myself and enjoyed the warmth of the fire on my cold hands. The soft light and warm drink was just what I needed. I closed my eyes, leaned back and soaked it all in. After what seemed like a few minutes of dozing in and out, Ginny "woke me up" after a twenty-minute nap.

"I wasn't asleep Ginny!" I rebutted when Ginny accused me of snoring a bit. (I prayed to Merlin I didn't snore.) Nevertheless, I woke up then, took another swig of my drink and sighed. I asked her how she was enjoying the party.

"Oh, it's alright I suppose for some people who can get some rest, and enjoy themselves."

"And you can't?" I asked skeptically.

"Never mind Hermione. I'm going back over to Harry and Luna, I'll see you later."

"Ginny! What exactly are you driving at?" I almost shouted at her retreating back. I tried to figure it out by playing with my bottle of butterbeer, as Ernie started singing at the top of his lungs. I sighed, and then I looked up sensing eyes on me. It was Ron. I stared for a moment until he looked away. Then I shook myself out of it. I chanced another glance at him a few moments later. His eyes were downcast staring at his hands, then at something on the table. Dean and Seamus had gone off to join Justin and Neville, playing a round of cards. Ron was by himself. Neither for the first nor the last time that night did I sit back and wonder at the strangeness of everyone's behavior. Thoughts were running around in my head, but none of them seemed to make sense. What was going on that I didn't know about? Ernie and Hannah were giggling to the point of choking at the table near the fire surrounded by their many empty bottles. Neville had just surprisingly won the card game at a table near the bar. Ginny's head was rested on Harry's shoulder and Luna was twirling her hair at their barstools. Parvati, Lavendar and Padma were also giggling at a fortune they had just divined for Lavendar, occasionally shooting a glance at Ron. And Ron... Ron was sitting by himself, with the most miserable look I'd ever seen him wear. My stomach squirmed most uncomfortably for him as I saw him look at Harry and Ginny, scowl at them and then at Lavendar. Then he looked pointedly at me, and grabbed his coat as he made for the door. I looked around me for a few confused moments to see if anybody else noticed his leaving. They didn't, and I felt somehow that I had to go after him. He was already making his way past Dervish and Banges by the time I got outside. I shivered, and then, "Holy Hippogriffs it's COLD! RON! WAIT!" I could tell he hesitated for a moment, but he kept on walking. I finally caught up to him, which was no mean feat.

"Ron! Wh- What's, whew...going on?" I gasped.

"Nothing, apparently," he said very coldly.

"Ron, just tell me! Why did you storm out of there?"

"Don't play ignorant with me Hermione!"

"W-what?" I stuttered.

"Merlin, don't tell me the Amazingly Brilliant Miss Granger is pretending to be ignorant of something! Really funny Hermione..."

"Ron, I don't know What On Earth you're talking about!"

"INCREDIBLE!" he shouted, "Hermione Granger hasn't got a clue for once in her life! Look at me and tell me how you can remember every date and name in the Goblin Rebellions, but you haven't a clue as to what's going on Right Now."

He was holding me by both arms very tightly, so that I couldn't turn away.

"I- I honestly don't know Ron," I said very quietly and apologetically. I won't deny that suddenly it was very thrilling being near Ron like that. He had filled out a good deal from the Quidditch. He kept holding on for a few minutes after my answer, then he slowly began to let go, and turned away, sighed and held his face in his hands.

"You wouldn't pretend to me, that you don't know, would you Mione?" he said after a minute. I softened when he said this, and instinctively moved closer and grasped his arm.

"Of course not, Ron," I said very comfortingly. I know well enough not to feign ignorance, it doesn't get you anywhere. Plus, it would drive me mad.

"Come on," he said quietly and put his arm around my shoulder. We walked back to the Three Broomsticks; I smiled at him meekly as he let me go in first. Ginny and Harry had turned around to see us come in, and Ginny winked at me. I looked around the pub, saw Harry grinning sheepishly at us, Lavendar scowling in our direction, Ernie and Hannah snorting with suppressed laughter amidst two new bottles of butterbeer. I saw Seamus give Ron a roguish wink and Dean start to snigger. Then I looked at Ron; he was smiling rather warmly all around him, and then he turned to me. I looked at him, and I realized, all these people think, and have thought, that Ron and I...Oh Bloody Hell.

*~***~*

It was the night of the big Prefect's Party they were throwing for the holidays, and Harry and Hermione had been planning it for weeks. We would all go down to Hogsmeade and have a great time. Anyway, that was the general idea. It had just snowed the night before but I wanted to get in a little Quidditch anyway, so I asked Harry and Ginny if they wanted to have a go with me. Ginny said she didn't want to as she shot an icy glare at Harry. He shrugged and went up to his room to get his Firebolt. I asked Ginny what was going on, but she just gave a huffy sigh and said, "How can he be that ignorant!" I decided to leave my little sister alone with her feelings. She and Harry were obviously coming to that point in their relationship where they took every little remark really seriously. I shrugged, and as Harry came back downstairs I swung my broom over my shoulder and stepped out into the hallway.

"So, where's Hermione?" I demanded of Harry.

"I dunno, studying...?"

"No, she told me she was going to stop for today at least with that N.E.W.T. nonsense. Maybe we should go look for her..."

"Listen mate," interrupted Harry, "She's a big girl and I think she can look after herself, let's just go play Quidditch." He looked at me appraisingly and kept walking. After a few minutes he stopped again.

"Hey Ron, do you like Hermione?"

"What?" I managed to stammer.

"It's just that Ginny thinks you do, and that maybe Hermione likes you too, but you guys just don't know it, and since Ginny's always right about these things..." he grimaced and faded out.

"Yeah..." I said slowly, not fully comprehending what Harry was suggesting to me.

"Well, she just thought, since you two are always at each other's throats or really nice to each other, that perhaps..."

"That perhaps we were nutty about each other and we've just been hiding it from everybody?" I interposed.

"Well, not that exactly, but that you've both been in... denial," he finished apologetically.

"No, I'm not in denial," I said very rationally I thought. "She's got ... Krum, remember? She doesn't think of me like that."

"How can you be so sure Ron?"

"How can you be so sure that Ginny isn't just pulling the wool over your eyes?"

"Why would she do that? Don't you trust your own sister?" he asked, insulted.

"No, not when she's trying to pry into my private life!"

"I thought you didn't have a private life." Harry laughed a little bit.

I looked at him a little stunned. Then I shook my head.

"Nah, it would never work Harry. She's got Krum, she wouldn't think about me if she's got him."

"You two have been acting this way since before we met Krum. First really insulting, then really nice, then you're insulting one another again... It's driving everyone nutters if you want to know the truth. Dean and Seamus even have a bet going as to when you're gonna wise up and ask her out."

"What! But- Harry, that's insane!"

"Maybe for someone as ignorant as you, Ron," came my sister's voice behind us.

"Thought I'd join you anyway, do you mind?" she asked Harry.

"N-no, not at all," he said as she grinned at him.

"I don't feel like playing after all," I said, "I'll see you both tonight. Don't wait for me, I'll meet you there." And I walked back to the common room.

I sat in the chair near the fire and sighed. Am I in denial? I thought about all the times that I had instinctively defended her, and about the feelings I had being around her. How could I have pretended all this while that I felt nothing for her? What if she just used Krum to get a rise out of me? This was incredibly complicated. I walked over to the wizard chessboard and moved my first pawn.

"Pawn to G3," came a voice from the girl's staircase. The black pawn moved and I looked up to see who it was. Oh, hell, it's Hermione...I thought. She smiled as she sat down opposite me.

"Mind if I play?" she asked quietly.

"Not at all," I said gruffly. This was the most awkward I have ever felt. We played for a while more and when Hermione won, she asked,

"Ron, what's the matter? That's the first time I've ever won against you."

"Hmm?" I said distractedly. "Oh, its nothing."
"Ok...Well, I'd better go get ready for the party. Are you gonna walk down with us?"

"No, I think I'll head out right now. I want to talk to Dean and Seamus anyway," and I tried to smile at her. She looked curiously at me, then ran upstairs. Harry and Ginny came back a few minutes later, laughing.

"Hey Ron!" said Ginny.

"Hey," I said without enthusiasm.

"Just wait a few minutes and we'll walk with you down to the Three Broomsticks," said Harry.

"Nah, that's alright. I feel like walking by myself. See you down there."

I trudged through the snow down to Hogsmeade and thought, 'How does everybody else think that Hermione and I...are a couple, when we haven't even talked about it in the first place? Could Hermione have said something to someone? Oh bloody hell! All right Ron, keep it cool. If she comes up and talks to me tonight, then I'll know she wants to be around me. And if she doesn't...' But I couldn't think about that prospect for some reason, so I focused instead on my feet in the snow.

I took my coat off once I entered the warmth of the Three Broomsticks. I was muddled up and confused, and pretty much every other synonym you could think of. Dean and Seamus were already there, and starting their second butterbeer. I sat down with them and felt like blowing up.

"So, mates...Since you're both so fond of wagers, why don't you try this one: I'll bet you 10 sickles that I'm pissed off at you."

"What for Ron?" asked Dean innocently.

"For betting on Hermione and me."

"Oh, we weren't really betting on you and Hermione, we were betting on your courage mate," prompted Seamus.

"And what gives you that right...mate," I added scathingly.

"Listen, Ron, it was just a bit of fun, all right?"

"No, not all right. And anyway, what makes you two think there's anything going on between us?"

They just looked at each other, then sighed.

"Ron, don't tell me you haven't realized how you both are acting around one another?" asked Dean.

"That's ridiculous, Dean. Why would anyone pretend not to know that they like someone...a lot?" said Seamus with puzzlement.

Whoa, I thought, do I like her a lot?

"Haven't you seen that look in her eyes whenever she sees you? I'm afraid she'll melt. It's a bit disgusting really..." winced Seamus.

"Then why would she pretend to hate me, to call me 'an insensitive wart' and all of that? Why would she be so secretive about Krum if sh- she liked me?" I sputtered in confusion.

"Psh, girls man, you got me," surrendered Dean.

I leaned forward and whispered.

"So, what do I do now? Do I ask her out, or what?" Just then the door opened and in walked Harry and Hermione. My jaw dropped slightly.

"What do I do?" I demanded in hurried frustration.

"Just relax, mate. Let her come to you. Then you'll know what to do. I mean, the girls dig you anyway, just look at Lavendar," smirked Dean. Seamus scowled a bit.

"Yeah okay, but... d'you think she wants me to ask her out?"

"You tell me mate. From the looks of it sometimes, I'd say...definitely. She wants you to."

I grimaced a bit at the prospect of actually having to ask my best friend out. Oh sheeze. But then, I thought about it a bit more and... something in me changed. I looked at her settling down, and imagined if I had my arm around her. I smiled at that.

"Listen mate, we're gonna go have a round of cards with Neville and Justin. Leave the field wide open for you, Captain." Dean was referring to my Quidditch Captaincy, and it made me feel better to know I had at least achieved that.

I waited. She fell asleep. I hated to wake her up, but I gave an aggravated look at Ginny who was sitting by the bar with Harry and Luna, and she waltzed right over and shoved her in the ribs. Hermione jumped and yelled at Ginny that she wasn't asleep. Ginny talked to her for a moment then got up and went back to the bar.

"Ginny! What exactly are you driving at?" she shouted at her.

Then I almost went to pieces. Ginny had told her too much. She looked around her, very confused, then right at me. As I stared at her I realized that she couldn't feel that way about me. I got up to leave shortly. I was so mad at Harry and Ginny and Dean and Seamus that I could hardly see. How could they make me think that? I was halfway up the street when I heard the door to the Three Broomsticks open again, and shut. Then:

"RON! WAIT!" I wanted to wait, I really did. I almost did. But I was too mad and embarrassed to do so, and I kept walking. Soon enough, she caught up with me.

"Ron! Wh-What's, whew...going on?"

"Nothing, apparently." I wanted to get this over with, and if being cold was the way to do it, that's what I'd do. Why did I suddenly want to drive her away?

"Ron, just tell me! Why did you storm out of there?"

"Don't play ignorant with me Hermione!"

"W-what?" She sounded immensely confused, but I wasn't going to buy that.

"Merlin, don't tell me the Amazingly Brilliant Miss Granger is pretending to be ignorant of something! Really funny Hermione..."

"Ron, I don't know What On Earth you're talking about!" She knows everything; she must have seen what people have been thinking about us! I mean, she's Hermione Granger, she's probably only missed 3 test questions in her whole life.

"INCREDIBLE!" I roared, "Hermione Granger hasn't got a clue for once in her life! Look at me and tell me how you can remember every date and name in the Goblin Rebellions, but you haven't a clue as to what's going on Right Now."

"I- I honestly don't know Ron," I was holding on to her as she said this, so that she couldn't turn away. And when she said that so sincerely, I wanted to keep holding on. I softened my grip on her though, and let go. I heaved a heavy sigh and put my head in my hands. So, I felt something. And maybe she felt something. But I couldn't know for sure, and maybe I didn't want to know just yet. Maybe we weren't quite ready. But I had to make sure of one thing:

"You wouldn't pretend to me, that you don't know, would you Mione?"

She moved closer to me, and my heart leapt.

"Of course not, Ron," and she put her hand on my arm. Okay, if that's how it's going to be for now, I was fine with it. But I just can't walk away from this hope I've most likely been tricked into having. In order to help her feel better (and me too), I put my arm around her shoulder. Wherever this world was taking us, I hoped we'd get there together.

"Come on," I said, and we walked back to the Three Broomsticks. I let her go in first. She stopped in the doorway and looked around as I shook the snow off my coat and shoes. She looked around the room for a while, so did I, except I was smiling. She slowly started to look horrified. Then she turned to look at me as if she was afraid of what she might find there. I just smiled at her, I was too happy with how this worked out to think really. She sort of smiled back, but then mouthed something in disbelief. It almost looked like those times when she finally arrived at a very complicated solution that no one was expecting, except it looks like she wasn't prepared for this one...because she turned right around to look at me and said,

"Ron, outside...Now."

*~***~*

Okay, okay... So I am in denial. But is it wrong to be upset that everybody is making assumptions about thoughts I haven't even had? I'm disgusted that anybody could even presume to do such a thing! Ron and me? Haven't they seen Viktor and me together...? Ok, so that really isn't much to go on, but it's more likely than me and...

"Ron, outside...Now," I demanded. He looked startled, but followed me out.

"What's up now, Mione?"

Oh heck...

"D-Does-" get it over with Granger! "Does everybody think we- that is...that you and I- are um..."

"Yeah, they do. They tried to talk me into it too. Can you believe them?"

"Ha ha..." I laughed, a bit relieved and still quite confused.

"So, you didn't think that- before they told you...either?" I added quickly.

"N-no..."

"I mean, they probably mistook all of our bickering for...for flirting or something. Ha ha," I laughed very nervously.

"Yeah..." he said slowly like he was thinking this over. I didn't like him to think like that.

"Hey Mione...D'you think that possibly... they were right?"

"I- I really don't know, Ron. And it's getting very cold standing here. I'm going back to the castle. I'll see you later, Ron." And with that I walked away from it, from him.

I plodded along the corridors, feeling quite miserable actually. I got to the portrait hole and said, "Golden Snidget."

"Oh, come now dearie. There's no need to look so downcast," urged the Fat Lady.

"Sure there is. I don't know who I am anymore. Reason enough? Golden Snidget."

"Now, now, be patient. Let me see, 'Your hearts know in silence the secrets of the days and the nights. But your ears thirst for the sound of your heart's knowledge...You would know in words that which you have always known in thought.' How's that?"

My jaw dropped slightly. I cleared my throat.

"Fine, thanks. Golden Snidget."

"Anytime dearie." Her portrait opened as I shook off the surprise of having the Fat Lady quote Muggle prophecies at me. The next thought that popped into my head was- Ron, actually. I wondered whether the Fat Lady would throw that quote at him too.

Once I got to my room I looked around it and felt vaguely as though I had been pretending all of this for a very long time. It felt superficial and uncomfortable. I went to look at myself in the mirror. It didn't seem like the Hermione I was so comfortable with. Was anybody else pretending not to know something like I had been? RON, of course, I thought. From this side of the spectrum, everything was a lot less stable and infinitely more frightening. Nothing used to intimidate me...not in "normal life" anyway. Suddenly homework, grades and all of my old values dissolved into the realm of indifference, shrinking beneath this new wave of fear I had about what should be considered a common way of life. I'd been living, deluded, under the idea that I had a lot of expectations to live up to. But, this new expectation I would call it, was a much heavier burden, and it aroused a great deal of pressure. This was personal now. My peers were forcing me to make a very personal decision. It seems vulgar of me to be so analytical about love of all things, but just imagine yourself shoved into it from behind...

I picked up a book to push out all of my other thoughts, but ended up rereading the same paragraph about five times. This was impossible! Why on earth would I pretend to feel something I don't? Why on earth would I pretend not to feel at all? I can't be that stupid. I'm so used to not missing a single beat that this sudden shock of ignorance on my part as made me feel like I have fallen down seven flights of moving staircases.

I sat on my bed for what felt like hours when Ginny burst in.

"Well," she began without any preamble; "I'd like to know why everyone's become so soft in the head all of a sudden! You're all pretending to be so ignorant! Why can't you all just tell the truth?"

"I have a feeling that this has more to do with Harry than anything else," I said.

"Well, sure! But it's not just him! How can you and Ron be so satisfied with nothing when you could have everything?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Ginny. Me and Ron are just friends," I said in a sort of defeated attitude.

"You can't do this anymore Hermione."

"Do what? I'm not doing anything!"

"Exactly! Why don't you just see things as they are? He's crazy about you! And what's more, he has been crazy about you since about third year! And you've been just as nutters about him. So, open your eyes. I can't bear to have everyone be so miserable and blind. Now, I'd go downstairs if I were you."

"If Ron's there, I'm not going."

"Why the bloody hell not?"

"I just don't want to talk to him, okay?" I admitted as Ginny sighed exasperatedly.

"I don't know how you two ever made it into Gryffindor."

*~***~*

I watched Ginny come down the girl's staircase with a disgusted look on her face.

"She's not coming, is she?" I asked. In reply she flopped on the sofa next to me and sighed.

"She is really losing it. I couldn't believe my ears when you told me she had no idea that everybody's expecting you two to start going out, but this is incredible."

"Why? What did she say?"

"She thinks you two are just friends. She really doesn't have a clue!"

"Yeah, well I didn't either, but I can't pretend anymore. I'm not clever enough to do that. You know Ginny; maybe she really isn't interested? I'm starting to think this whole thing is hopeless."

"I'm starting to think the entire human race is hopeless."

"Wow, wizards included, huh?"

"Especially wizards. We're so used to being able to fix most problems with the wave of a wand, but really... some things can't be changed, even with magic."

I put my arm around my little sister. She's really a lot smarter than I give her credit for.

I contemplated my feelings for a few moments and found that the prospect of dating Hermione was more terrifying to me than any Death Eater I had faced... or any horrific adventure I'd been on with Harry, the thought was even more frightening than what was to come. Because, I have realized that bravery comes in all different shapes. There's bravery in the face of death, of sorrow, of grief, and of terror. But possibly the most difficult sort of bravery to attain is that of courage in the face of happiness. The three of us had braved all sorts of difficulties and grievances, and we didn't really know how to handle the calm. I sort of understood Hermione better in analyzing myself. I imagined she was feeling some sort of fear similar to mine. Ginny, who had learned to value her life and her happiness in life was more courageous than the three of us. She knew how to put everything in perspective, while her brother and her friends had become used to misery, suspense and anxiety. Ginny had become used to life's ups and downs. She had grown up, and I was ignorant of it.

"Hey sis, I'm sorry," I said.

"For what?"

"For not appreciating you... before. But it seems like you've done a good job of growing up without me. In fact, you're probably more grown up than I am."

She laughed and said, "How so?"

"Well, I have to tell you that I'm afraid."

"Of what? You're Quidditch Captain, and a great guy, generally admired; you've dueled with Death Eaters...And Voldemort's gone. How can you be afraid?"

"I'm- I'm afraid to care about people. I'm afraid they'll be taken away from me. That's why I haven't done anything about the way I feel for Hermione, because I care about her so much that... I can't bear to hurt her. And I also can't bear to hurt myself. Pretty stupid, huh?"

"Sometimes you have to put aside your own fear of being hurt. Because if you don't, you could be hurting someone else by not telling the truth. Everything will work out if we all tell the truth. Nothing can be gained by secrecy and lies. It's a waste of a life to feign ignorance just to protect ourselves. How will we ever learn if we're so cautious all the time?"

I just looked at her. She was the most beautiful sister I had ever seen. I kissed her forehead and got out of the chair. I turned around to face the girl's staircase, when I saw Hermione standing there, crying.

*~***~*

I was never more proud of Ginny than at that moment. She had just cured me of my blindness. And when I opened my eyes... there was Ron.

I had never suspected that anyone could be afraid of happiness. That the thought of being comfortable could terrify me was beyond my wildest imagination. But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. I was only comfortable in being uncomfortable. If nothing stressful was going on, I wouldn't know how to handle it, and the prospect of my not being in control was absolutely horrific. For years I had contented myself with my grades, or fighting for a good cause that didn't involve myself, greatly. I had risked my life for things I had little knowledge of in the world, which made it easier to sacrifice something for. If you believe simply that a thing is a good cause, then you blindly (and rightly so) walk into it unafraid. But when something so dear to you as your own dignity and humility is on the line, you become the most disgusting of cowards. The thought brought tears to my eyes.

I had been listening to the brother and sister, silhouetted against the firelight ever since Ron had said that we were hopeless. I had felt an unusual pang at the words and was thenceforth comforted with the fact that I really did care for him. When Ron said he was afraid, I realized I was too. My whole preconceived notion of my own deepest fears, my most sincere feelings came crashing down on me, and I was left standing at the staircase crying, with nothing but a sense of how much I really cared for this boy, and the remnants of my ashamed naiveté.

Right after Ginny spoke those beautifully freeing words, Ron stood up and saw me there, tears running down my face. He walked over to me and folded me into his arms. I started crying again. This wasn't so bad, really, loving Ron instead of bickering with him...

*~***~*

It may seem odd that through this unification with Hermione, I noticed my sister very tactfully leave the common room. My heart went out to her, wherever she was going, and I hoped Harry wouldn't be as much of blockhead as to pretend he wasn't madly in love with her anymore.

I separated from Hermione once she had stopped crying and looked at her. I really looked at her for once. And what I saw when I looked at her, was a girl free from all the preconceived notions about her feelings. She wasn't a bookworm, or a know-it-all, or stuck up, or in love with Krum. She was in love with me, and I couldn't believe it.

"I'm sorry Ron," she choked through her tears.

"Don't be. I'm the one who should be sorry. I've been the stupidest git... even worse than Percy, if that's possible." She laughed.

"So what do we do now?" she said with a slight tremor. I looked at her as if it were obvious. Then I stooped down and kissed her.