The Cowardly Lion

The Cowardly Lion

I could hear Molly's knitting needles, knitting by themselves. I could smell dinner in the kitchen. I could feel the sun through the window. But I couldn't see him. The clock arm with 'Ronald Weasley' on it was still pointing at 'Quidditch'. I sank my head in my hands and sighed. I kept staring at the clock. I didn't even notice Molly come in.

"Don't you think so, Hermione, dear?"

"Hmm...?" I said rather dazedly.

"It's no use staring at that clock all day. They won't be back any sooner."

"Oh! Of course! Need any help Molly?"

"No dear. You go have a lie-down, there's a dear. It'll make the time just disappear!"

I highly doubted this, but went up to Ginny's room anyway. I found her flipping through a book.

"What have you got there, Ginny?" I asked, apparently startling her, she jumped.

"Oh, I'm supposed to be researching 'Witches in the Muggle World' and Luna suggested this. Supposed to have stuff about witches in it, but all I see is an ugly old hag..."

"Yeah, but what's it called?"

"Oh, sorry...The Wizard of Oz."

"Oh that! Yeah, that's a good way to learn a Muggle's perspective on witchcraft and wizardry."

"Do you mean to say you've read this book?" she asked me sounding shocked.

"Yeah, sure. It was one of my favorites as a little girl."

"Oh yeah...I forgot you're Muggleborn."

"Good one, Gin. By the way, Ron and Harry didn't tell you what time they'd be back did they?"

"Nope, you know boys..."

"Yeah. How are you and Dean?"

"Um, not so great."

"Why?"

"Parvati, that's why. She and Seamus broke up, and she's trying to get Dean interested as revenge on Seamus."

"Oh! That's horrible!"

"Yep!"

"Why are you so enthused all of a sudden? Does this have anything to do with Harry? You don't like him again, do you?"

"Come ON Hermione! It's taken you long enough! You'd usually have figured it all out before I figured it out myself! What's with you lately? Does this have anything to do with a certain Quidditch player...?"

"Yeah, it does have to do with a certain Quidditch player..." and if he doesn't stop playing Quidditch soon, I'll go nutters, I added in my head. Let Ginny think it was about Krum.

~*~

I ran my fingers through my already windswept hair. I gazed up at the sun sinking behind the trees and sighed.

"Come on Harry! We'll be late!"

I began to walk back to my house, dragging my feet.

"Wait will you!" shouted Harry. But I was in a hurry to get back, what was I hurrying to exactly?

"Hey! What's with you mate?" inquired a very out-of-breath Harry Potter.

"Nothing's 'with me', I'm just hungry, I guess."

"Yeah, Quidditch'll do that to you."

I nodded and hurriedly left behind the setting sun, left behind the Quidditch, left behind every blade of grass under my feet. What was this carrying me on, faster and faster? We reached the Burrow, and I saw the thing that had quickened my steps...setting the table.

~*~

"Oh, I thought you'd NEVER get back! I was thinking of stealing Ginny's broom and joining you, I was so BORED!" I was too. I laughed at myself, a grin breaking across my face. I turned back to the table, setting down the last of the plates when I glimpsed Ron through my hair. He was grinning at me; I swept the hair out of my eyes and then turned to Harry. He wasn't grinning. I smirked at the puzzled look on his face, whilst he stared at Ron, who upon noticing Harry glaring, dispensed with his grin.

We all sat down, at last. I unfolded my napkin as I sat there, waiting for Molly to bring the dinner in. I sneaked a glance at Ron. He was drumming his fingers on the table. I looked at Harry, who was staring into space, like he always does when he's thinking deeply. Ginny was glazed over, and seemed to be staring at Harry. I looked at Ron again, and to my surprise, I met his eyes for a moment. I smiled meekly which was all I was capable of. I wish he wouldn't do that, now I'll get the shakes...See? Here they come...

~*~

I watched Harry and Ginny sneak furtive looks at each other for a while. Both of them were pretending to be glazed over. Truth was, they couldn't keep their eyes off each other. I half expected them to leap across the table into each other's arms; I even drummed my fingers, impatiently, waiting for it. Then I looked at Hermione. What was it about her all of a sudden? It was different, it was...softer. What happened to this iron maiden that I used to know? She's not like that anymore. She's lost her armor or something. Her defenses can be down here I expect. I met her gaze just now, but what was that I saw behind it? And why was she shaking like that? Oh, here comes Mum.

~*~

Well, my shaking went away by dessert, thank goodness. Ron kept watching my hands quizzically. We're both helping Molly clean up. Harry and Ginny snuck off somewhere.

"So, what's up tomorrow then, Ron? More Quidditch, or are you both actually gonna hang around with me for once?" I said jokingly.

"I'd rather stay here tomorrow. I'm rather tired of Quidditch. It's boring when its just one on one. If only Fred and George were here...I can't believe I just said that!"

We both laughed as we reached for the last fork. We grabbed each other's hands by mistake. My heart leapt to my throat. At least I'm not shaking now, though I will be in a minute...

"Your hands are cold," he told me, "Are you feeling alright? You're not sick are you? I saw you shaking a bit earlier..."

Ah! So he noticed that did he? Terrific.

"I might need to go lie down for a bit. It was rather chilly the other night. I might be coming down with something..."

And the next thing I knew, I was being handed a cup of tea already covered with a blanket on the couch.

~*~

I made her tea. She didn't look too good. No, she looked wonderful, but she was shaking and cold. I lit some candles and the fire. She looked like she wanted to be read to. I asked her what book she wanted, anything, I told her, except Magical Herbs and Fungi. She laughed this beautiful relaxed laugh and said:

"The Wizard of Oz."

"Who's he?" I asked, "Does Dumbledore know him?" I must have been very naïve, (or was it poorly read?); to have asked that because she laughed again and said,

"Go ask Ginny!" and giggled again.

So, being loyal, I went off to find my sister. 'Please let her NOT be snogging Harry!' I prayed over and over again in my head. I didn't want to walk in on that. But it was all okay. I have to give my sister more credit it seems, and Harry too, for being sensible. Ginny was reading in her room, which was completely Harry-free.

"Sis, I'm supposed to ask you about this wizad called Oz. I've never heard of him..."

~*~

I could hear Ginny's laughter all the way downstairs. Ron must have asked her about his unknown Wizard of Oz. I smiled to myself. I took another sip of Ron's tea. It was like nectar. I closed my eyes and inhaled its steamy fumes. I heard Molly turn up a song on the WWN, and when I opened my eyes, there was Ron standing over me, looking slightly perturbed.

"Ha ha ha. Very witty Mione. Oh-so-clever," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. I laughed.

"How was I supposed to know The Wizard of Oz is a Muggle book, hmm?"

"Sorry Ron, I-"

"Never mind Hermione. Read it to yourself."

Suddenly the tea didn't taste so sweet, and my feet were getting cold. Not to mention I was shaking again...from anger! I sat there awhile; my tea had gone cold, so I was the only thing fuming. I watched the wax drip down the sides of the candles...How could he be so STUPID! It was only a joke! Sigh...It seems I've blown it again. Made a stupid joke to insult Ron's intelligence and make me feel superior. I don't WANT to feel superior! I just want to feel warm...

~*~

I stormed up the stairs. I didn't really care about making her feel better right now. I feel awful enough myself. I flopped down on my bed. I began fiddling with the hole in the bed sheets. I've tried! Merlin knows I've tried! But she makes it so DIFFICULT! I don't even know why I do it. She's probably still writing to Vicky. I still have his autograph. I should burn it.

~*~

I fell asleep on the couch, having horrible dreams about flying monkeys. Gee, I wonder why. There was the book laying open on top of me. I got up, rubbed my eyes, and went to the kitchen to see if Molly needed help with the breakfast. But when I walked in, there was Ron, stooped over the small fire, poking at it.

"Whatcha doin' Ron?" I asked mid-yawn.

"Just getting the fire going..." he said. But I saw him glimpse the fire quickly, then poke at it some more.

I started to make some tea for us. He got out two mugs. When it was ready we both sat down. The mug felt good on my cold hands. Ron wasn't saying anything. I didn't really mind. In my opinion, (with guys like Ron at least), lack of words implies deep in thought. I smiled at this. I watched the sun light up the lawn, the trees, pour in the window and alight on Ron's magnificent red hair. He looked truly beautiful just then. I smiled again.

~*~

"You seem very happy this morning," I told her. She looked wonderful, the sun shining through her curls.

"Yeah, I am!" she said sounding surprised at herself. I don't wonder. Life's been tough for all of us. Harry was still snoring up in my room.

"Ginny still asleep?" I asked, following a train of thought.

"I don't know, I fell asleep on the couch." Every time I looked at her, it felt painful. Why was she so happy knowing I was mad at her? She's probably thinking about Vicky.

"Oh, I see."

I wanted to tell her so many things. I didn't know where to begin! I didn't know if I'd have enough courage to tell her. I'm afraid this is what caused my silence. It was actually rather nice just being quiet for once, at ease. A strange thing in this house. I was playing with my mug on the table. When I looked up, Hermione was looking at me and smiling to herself. My stomach flipped over, I sat up straighter.

~*~

"What?" he said, looking around like he'd done something wrong.

"Nothing, Ron." How could I tell him everything I was thinking? How could I even tell him? No, I was too afraid to take the leap. I left it at that. It's horrible to leave it all suspenseful for him like that. But he wouldn't understand.

"Tell me!"

"I'm just glad to be here...here with you on a morning like this. It's simply...divine." There was no other word for it. He gave a quiet, relieved laugh.

"Yeah, I'm glad to be here too. You don't often find a morning like this here. It's amazing."

~*~

It's funny, no matter how much I care about her, regardless of everything I want to say; we always toe the line between personal feelings and good friend's feelings. It's like we've set these boundaries, like its all a game, a dangerous game. Don't stay within the boundaries, and you can't come back in. Once you've bared your true soul, your true feelings, there's no going back. It was okay this way, but always left one feeling unsatisfied, like you've eaten, but not as much as you could to stop feeling hungry. So, every day we learn to be satisfied with less and less. It left a void in my stomach. I can't take it anymore. She had gotten up to wash out her mug. I got up and approached her. Getting nearer with every step... I could smell her hair now I was so close...No. I can't.

~*~

I turned around to see Ron's face about an inch away from mine,

"Ron?" He pulled away.

"Tell Harry when he gets up that I've gone off to the orchard, will you? We'll be back by lunch, I promise!"

And he was gone.

I had this feeling like I was still hungry, so I made myself some toast and took it to the living room. I had flopped down onto the couch when I jumped back up again. I had sat on the book. I turned it over and looked at the next chapter heading:

VI

THE COWARDLY LION

I set it down with a sigh.