The Whole Nine Yards

Chapter Nine - Draco's Gift

~ Godric's Hollow ~

"I have a present for you. I wanted to wait until we were alone to give it to you," Draco said, looking nervous as he moved out of Harry's arms. He ran inside to fetch it.

Harry had already given Draco his present, earlier that morning while they were still in bed. Draco had loved the black silk kimono with the embroidered dragon on the back that Harry had bought in Muggle London for him.

Moments later Draco returned with a box wrapped to match the black and white theme of the party.

They sat down next to each other at the nearest table. Harry grinned at him in anticipation as he pulled the box towards him. He pulled at the black satin bow and was about to lift the lid when Draco stopped him.

"Wait. I...I just want you to know, before you open it, that..." Draco paused, not really knowing what he wanted Harry to know but suddenly, desperately, wanting to prolong the moment before Harry saw his gift.

Draco knew he couldn't take it back now. It was far to late for that, but he was having second thoughts about the wisdom of such a gift.

"Oh, go on then," he finally said, clenching his fists.

Harry noted Draco's tense body language and wondered if his gift could be that controversial.

Harry lifted the white lid off the box. Inside, nestled in black and white tissue paper was a dark brown leather book with the title Draco Potter's Journal.

Harry gasped, "Is this what I think it is?"

"Yes," Draco said softly. "It's my journal, everything that I've thought or felt for the last six months is written down on that parchment, just like you suggested I do. I wanted to give it to you. I want you to read it. I've tried talking to you about it, but the words won't come when I try to say them aloud so I thought I'd give you this."

Harry wiped a few stray tears from his eyes. "It means so much to me that you would give this to me, honey."

Harry left the box on the table and pulled Draco out of his chair and into his lap. Harry held Draco tightly.

Draco smiled slightly as he wrapped his arms around Harry's neck. He suddenly felt so much better about giving Harry his journal. The former Gryffindor was obviously delighted by the gift.

The next day, Harry curled up in his favourite armchair with Draco Potter's Journal.

"Harry, do you think we should re-paint this room?" Draco asked nervously.

Harry glanced up and smiled gently as he watched Draco pace in front of him.

"Perhaps a nice pale sea green colour, or maybe a light golden colour," Draco suggested.

"Honey, do you not want me to read this?" Harry asked, gesturing to the journal.

Draco didn't answer.

"Because if you don't want me to, I won't," Harry said, placing the book on the coffee table.

He stood up and crossed to where Draco stood by the window. He stood for a moment, a mere foot from his husband and watched Draco determinedly stare out the window.

"I want you to read it," Draco eventually said in a strangled voice. "I wouldn't have given it to you otherwise."

Harry pulled Draco against him and held the blonde tightly. Draco melted against him.

"I love you, no matter what," he whispered in Draco's ear. "Nothing is ever going to change that."

Harry pressed a reassuring kiss to Draco's cheek and returned to his seat and started reading.

Draco puttered about the house, tidying up here and there, hovering around Harry, waiting for a reaction. Finally he just couldn't take watching Harry read all his innermost thoughts and he retreated to the bathroom to soak in the tub.

He knew Harry had been worrying about him all this time. At least now, Harry would know everything. Oh god, Harry will know everything. All there is to know about me, Draco thought with horror. There will be no part of me that he will not know.

As Draco relaxed in the hot water, he recalled some of the things he had recorded in the journal and almost groaned aloud. What on earth had he been thinking, giving it to his husband? The worst parts of himself, the parts he himself had been trying to block out and pretend they hadn't ever happened and had never wanted to share with Harry, he had now told him.

It will be okay, Draco chanted. Harry loves me, he adores me, he won't leave me because of some sordid events that happened in the past. God, it was so long ago. It really doesn't matter anymore. I'm a totally different person now. Surely Harry sees that...