Truly Madly Deeply

Chapter Four - Sad Puppy Look

~ Slytherin Boys Dorm ~

Draco lay curled up in his bed, wide-awake with a satisfied smile on his face. The smile died as he remembered the argument he and Harry had had a couple of days ago. Draco had the feeling he was being torn in two. He wanted to be with Harry and be the caring, fun-to-be-with person he knew he could be but his father was hell bent on resurrecting the Death Eaters and taking over as Dark Lord now that Voldemort was dead. He was insisting that Draco play his part in the drama. Unfortunately Draco had no choice but to do what Lucius asked and pray that he would live up to his side of their deal.

At least he hadn't insisted that Draco bear the Dark Mark yet. Draco groaned as he thought of the deal he had struck with his father. The would-be Dark Lord had promised to leave Harry alone as long as Draco did what he asked. Harry was the only person Draco knew he couldn't live without, the only person he would die to protect. But it was becoming harder to keep this whole mess from Harry.

Draco knew that if he told Harry what was going on, then Harry would get all noble on him and feel that he had to do something to make it right. The argument they'd had the other night had been terrible but he was now beginning to see that it was inevitable. There were only a few months until graduation and then what? Draco couldn't see how they could continue to be together. Draco sighed and replayed the argument in his head.

Harry and Draco sat out by the lake. It was about midnight and the full moon shone down on them, reflected in Harry's emerald eyes. Draco sat still, mesmerised by his lover's beauty.

"So, uh, have you thought about what you're going to do after we graduate?" Harry asked tentatively.

"Not really," Draco answered vaguely. Damn, why did Harry have to ruin the moment?

"Where are you going to live?" Harry asked.

"The Manor," Draco replied apathetically. Stop it Harry, he thought, you do not want to have this conversation with me.

"Do you want to live with me?" Harry asked. Fuck, he's just not going to let this go, is he? Draco thought irritably.

"What?" Draco laughed. "With the muggles?"

"Of course not," Harry said cynically. "They're dying to kick me out. I meant we could get a place together."

"Don't be stupid, Harry. It doesn't become you. I'm a Malfoy. I live in Malfoy Manor. It is my birthright," Draco drawled sardonically. That's right, insult him. That's the way to make this situation better, Draco thought sarcastically.

"I'm not going to be welcome at the Manor, so when are we going to see each other?" Harry asked.

"Oh, come on Harry. Don't tell me you truly thought this would continue after graduation?" Draco said scathingly. What the fuck are you saying? Draco asked himself. Do you really want to end this? Do I really have a choice not to?

"Why not? It doesn't have to end." Harry pleaded.

"How on earth can it continue? You said it, you're not welcome at the Manor and that is where I have to be right now, so where does that leave us? No where." Draco yelled, his indifferent façade cracking.

"Why do you have to be there? Why can't you leave?" Harry asked. Let it go Harry, Draco thought despairingly. I can't explain....

"I don't have time for this," Draco said as he got up and stalked back into the castle. What did I just do? He asked himself. Did I just break up with Harry?

Draco couldn't lie still any longer. He quietly got out of bed, pulled his robes over his pyjamas and crept out of the dorm. He left the common room and started roaming the halls. He still felt relieved that he hadn't broken up with Harry that night. Although what would happen after graduation was anyone's guess. Draco wanted to live with Harry but he knew his father would forbid it.

Keep Harry safe, Draco repeated over and over. It was his new mantra. It used to be fuck Harry senseless but unfortunately he'd had to change it. That didn't mean that he didn't fuck Harry senseless every chance he got though, Draco smiled. Damn Lucius and his stupid ambitions. Like he could ever replace the Dark Lord. His plans to take over the magical community were so laughable, Draco had to bite his lip to keep from laughing out loud at the strategy meetings.

Lucius reminded him of Dr. Evil from that muggle movie Harry had taken him to see. Once he had gotten used to the way the pictures moved (so different to magic photos) he had really enjoyed it. Draco had particularly loved the way Dr. Evil's son had made fun of him. Surely ther has to be a way to keep Harry safe and get away from Lucius at the same time, he thought despondently.

Draco found himself in the owlery a little past 2am. There weren't too many owls there at the moment, most were busy delivering letters and packages. A smile appeared on his face. He hadn't sent Harry a love letter since they had gone public with their relationship, which had been very early on as they had seen no reason to hide it. There was some parchment and a quill on a desk near the window. Draco crossed over to it, sat down and started to write.

~ Great Hall ~

Draco entered the Great Hall later than usual. He walked directly to the Slytherin table and sat down without looking around. He picked up a piece of toast and nibbled on it unenthusiastically.

"What's the matter, Draco? Had another fight with Harry, did you?" Pansy asked curiously. Uh oh, Draco thought, the gossip-queen is in the building.

"Everything's fine," he said shortly. This conversation is over. Unfortunately Pansy didn't seem to get the message, either that or she was ignoring it.

"He's been staring over here all morning with a sad puppy look on his face," Pansy informed him with a giggle. Oh, crap, Draco thought, the sad puppy look - gets me every time.

Hundreds of owls flew into the Hall. Draco watched Hedwig's progress as she flew towards the Gryffindor's. He hoped this letter would appease whatever torment Harry was putting himself through now.

Chapter Four - Sad Puppy Look