Desires In Another Mirror

Harry only visited Grimmauld Place once, that whole summer.

It was different now - last year the Weasleys had been there, and the kitchen had always been buzzing with activity. Mrs Weasley would be baking or cleaning or singing along to the WWN, Tonks and Ginny would be cooking up some scheme or other, Kingsley might drop in for lunch, Sirius would be...

Harry stopped himself. It hurt to think about Sirius. Sometimes he wanted to feel it, but just now he didn't. He was busy.

Mr Weasley had suggested that Harry might like to visit the Order headquarters for a little while, to see everyone there. A lot of the members were very fond of him - he got the feeling that they thought of him as some sort of mascot. He didn't really mind.

So he had come, tonight, a couple of days before he was due to start back at Hogwarts. Mr Weasley had come too, and they were spending the night, because it wasn't safe to travel after dark and Mrs Weasley worried.

So Harry had seen everyone, and everyone had asked him how he was, and whether he had finished all of his homework, and if he'd had a good summer at the Burrow. They had all said how sorry they were about Sirius. He had said how sorry he was about Miss Vance. There had been some talk about the war, and some idle gossip about this and that, and then everyone had had to go off and do various things, and Mr Weasley had gone up to bed.

Harry had sat at the kitchen table a while longer. Seeing the Order without Sirius in their midst had shaken him a little. He found it difficult, for some reason, not to be angry with them all. He was Sirius' godson, and they had all known him better than he did. It wasn't fair. And they had all known his parents, too, and that was even less fair.

At around three in the morning, Harry had been gripped by a sudden urge to explore the house. It was all he had left of Sirius. Perhaps he had left an impression on the place, somewhere. Perhaps there was something that Harry could keep as a reminder of his godfather.

And so Harry wandered aimlessly along the corridors, looking into rooms every now and then. He didn't know how long he wandered - perhaps a few hours. At any rate, it was getting light by the time he found the mirror.

It was in one of the bedrooms that they hadn't got around to cleaning last summer. It was a large, golden-framed mirror. Harry could barely see his reflection, staring back at him through a thick film of dust. The mirror reminded him of the Mirror of Erised - there was even an inscription across the top, just like that. It said: Accidunt omnia uspiam.

But this wasn't the Mirror of Erised, and it felt like he had seen that last in another world entirely. He had only been eleven years old, with no idea of the way his life would change. He hadn't even met Sirius then. He hadn't met Lupin. Voldemort had still been just a disembodied creature, helpless without assistance from some hapless servant.

Back then, he had seen a family in the Mirror. He had seen his parents, alive and well and happy, and his grandparents, and a host of other family members. But now he was sixteen, and sadder and wiser. He wondered what he would see in the Mirror of Erised, were he to look in it again now.

Would he see himself as an Auror? Would he see himself defeating Voldemort for good? Would he see himself, reading his excellent NEWT results? Winning his first international Quidditch match?

No.

He hadn't changed that much. He imagined that he would still see his family, waving happily at him from behind the smoky glass. But now, Sirius would be there, too, arm in arm with James. Perhaps there would be other children, too. Spending time with the Weasleys had made him see what a good thing it could be to have siblings.

Things could have been so different.

Harry sighed, and wiped some of the dust from the mirror with his sleeve.

Suddenly, the mirror lit up, so brightly that Harry had to squeeze his eyes shut against the dazzle. His hands reached out for the mirror, to try and switch off whatever he had switched on, and suddenly he was falling, and now instead of too bright, everything was dark...