The Depths of Winter

* ~ * ~*

The Depths of Winter

* ~ * ~*

~~~

Chapter twenty-two

Gone

~~~

The sunlight was pouring in through the window when Harry woke up, slightly disoriented since the light wasn't coming from the same side as he was used to from his own room. Then he felt Draco move in his arms and the memories of the day before came back and he smiled. Draco still lay curled into him, his head resting on Harry's arm. The pale eyelashes were casting shadows on his cheeks and his blond hair was in disarray. Harry couldn't stop looking at him; it was as though he were seeing him for the very first time. He truly was beautiful, this man.

He smiled as he remembered the night before; the touching, kissing, the gasps and pleading. Draco obviously hadn't known he was still able to feel the way he'd felt. Harry didn't mind showing him. In fact, Harry didn't mind a single thing as long as it involved Draco. When he'd realised he loved Draco the day before, he had also realised that it didn't matter what happened to them; Harry would stay by Draco forever, if it was necessary.

He hadn't said anything to Draco yet. After all, even though Harry loved Draco, he had no idea if Draco felt the same way.

He didn't know how much time had passed when Draco's lashes finally fluttered open and hazy grey eyes looked into startling green.

"Good morning," Harry said softly, smiling at him.

Draco smiled back, almost shyly. "'Mornin'," he said.

"Sleep well?"

Draco nodded, his eyes falling shut again. "Wonderfully."

Harry bent down and kissed him lightly. Draco's arm circled Harry's waist and pulled him closer yet, before going up and tangling in his messy hair. A moan escaped Draco's lips as Harry trailed kisses down his neck and shoulder, sucking and licking here and there.

When they pulled away, Harry asked carefully, "Are you okay?" They hadn't spoken of Draco's breakdown any more the night before.

Draco looked down, then up at Harry again. "I will be."

"Just don't doubt yourself. You are beautiful," Harry said softly, running his fingers through Draco's hair. "You're also strong, witty, sarcastic, passionate-- incredible."

Draco looked down and then up at Harry again, his voice hoarse as he said, "What, nothing more than that?"

"Oh, so much more than that but we don't have all day and we don't want to inflate your ego too much, now do we?" Harry asked. He cupped Draco's cheek and kissed him gently. "Don't think you're not worth anything, because you are worth everything and more to me."

Draco nodded, the movement small.

"Okay?" Harry asked.

Another small nod and Draco said, "Okay."

"Good, then can we do some more snogging? Because that was seriously the best snogging I've done in - well, forever probably but I shouldn't say that out loud because your ego will get too big for your--"

Draco shut him up with another kiss. Harry didn't mind.

*

They managed to drag themselves out of bed a good while later, when both of their stomachs were screaming for breakfast. Once Harry had gotten the wheelchair from the poolroom, Draco began making breakfast. Eggs and bacon, mixed with kissing and lots of accidental touching made the meal a very long one indeed.

Draco had sat down on the couch to read while Harry wrote, when Harry said to him, "You should get a job."

Draco looked up at him, one eyebrow raised. "A job?"

"So that you have something to do during the day," Harry said. He wasn't completely sure of whether this was the right way to go about it, but he had to try.

"What makes you think I don't have a job already?"

That was not what Harry had expected. "You have a job?"

"Whereto do you think I disappear all day long?" Draco asked, smirking at him, obviously enjoying surprising Harry.

Harry did remember Draco's disappearances all too well - the first time he'd been gone was the time when Harry had called Myra, completely frantic.

"But-- where?"

"A youth centre," Draco said, still smirking. "A place for teens to play pool, meet friends, paint and get all of their energy out, instead of going around town destroying things."

Harry's mouth was hanging open and he abruptly shut it. He tried to come up with something suitable to say, but his mind was drawing a blank.

"What, no questions?" Draco asked, his delicate eyebrow rising again.

"What do you do there?" Harry finally managed to ask.

"I keep track of the kids and see to it that they don't cause trouble," Draco replied easily. His eyes flashed suddenly. "And yes, I can manage that even from a wheelchair."

Harry cocked his head to the side and thought that he didn't have any problem believing that. Draco's scowl was enough to frighten anyone who was younger - and several who were older, too. It was almost as bad as Snape's had been.

"Well-- shouldn't you be there now, then?" Harry asked.

Draco shook his head. "I only work three days a week. Today is my day off and yesterday I called them and said I couldn't come in," he said. Suddenly he sounded hesitant. "I-- I don't get paid, so they can't do anything if I call them and say I'm not coming in. They need the help."

"Why don't you get paid?"

"Because it's all volunteer work," Draco said. "The centre wouldn't survive otherwise."

Harry nodded slowly in understanding. "Is it fun?"

The self-assured Draco returned and he smirked. "It is. It is like being leader of the Slytherins again."

Harry walked the few strides over to where Draco was sitting and placed a kiss on Draco's lips. Draco soon wrapped his arms around Harry. When they pulled away, both panting, Harry said, "I just had to kiss that smirk off your face."

*

Darius called that afternoon and announced that he was coming over for dinner.

"I just love how your friends invite themselves over," Draco muttered, although his tone was light so Harry knew he didn't mind. Instead he made a delicious dinner - rice with chicken, a cheese sauce and vegetables of various kinds.

Harry called Myra and asked if she wanted to come over as well.

"Oh, Harr', I'd love to," Myra said, "but I can't."

"What are you doing? Studying?" Harry asked.

"No, for once I'm not," Myra said happily. "I'm going out on a date."

Harry goggled. "A date? With who?"

"Oh don't sound so surprised, Harry, it's not like it's the first time I've ever gone on a date," Myra said, sounding a bit put out.

It may not have been the first time she'd gone out on a date, but it was the first time she'd gone out on a date since Harry had found out about Darius' crush on her, which made it suddenly obvious why Darius was coming over.

"He studies Anthropology and we met in the Union Bar," Myra said, sounding excited. "He's a year older than me and is from France!"

Harry didn't know what was so special with that, but he was quite certain that Darius would be one unhappy camper tonight.

"So how is it going with you and Draco?" Myra asked. It sounded as though she was smiling widely.

"Um, good," Harry mumbled, feeling his cheeks heat up.

"Good?" Myra asked. "Harry, dear, please be a little more detailed than that, will you?"

"It's going really good," Harry said, smirking because he was able to annoy Myra.

"All right, all right, don't tell me then," Myra said, sounding annoyed. "I'm just happy it's all working out for you. Take care of him. If you hurt him--"

"You do know that you were my friend first, don't you?" Harry asked, exasperated.

"Yes, yes," Myra said and Harry was certain she was rolling her eyes. "Oh, look at the time. Harry, I have to go. I'll call you tomorrow, though - I want to use that rain check on the dinner."

They hung up and Harry returned, a small smile playing on his lips, to the kitchen where Draco was working. Harry never stopped being amazed with how efficient Draco could be, despite the wheelchair. His movements were still graceful, even when confined and hindered.

"Are you going to stand there and stare or will you stir the sauce?" Draco asked irritably.

Harry hurried to him and started stirring.

"Did Myra say yes?"

"No," Harry said and suddenly smiled. "Although I do believe I know why Darius is coming over."

Draco raised an eyebrow at him. "Really? And what might that reason be?"

"Myra has a date," Harry said, "and Darius is--"

"--in love with her," Draco said.

Harry chuckled. "Yes," he said. "I don't think he'll be in too good a mood tonight."

Draco rolled his eyes. "Love. Makes you behave stupidly."

Harry kissed him.

"What was that for?"

"Just to show how stupidly love makes us act," Harry said, grinning at him, before he continued to stir the sauce.

The doorbell rang a half hour later and Darius stood outside, his shoulders slumped and barely raising his eyes enough to look at Harry.

"Hello cheerful," Harry said, letting him in.

Darius just looked at him morosely and hung his coat off. "Food?" he asked.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Draco is finishing up in the kitchen; it'll be done in a minute."

Darius nodded but didn't say anything. He walked in and made a small gesture with his head by way of greeting Draco.

"You look like someone has just died," Draco said.

Darius shrugged.

"You know, this is what you're going to get until you tell her that you're in love with her," Draco continued.

Darius looked at Harry. "You told him?"

"No," said Harry. "He's a smart boy. Figured it out all by himself," he cooed.

"Oh. Right."

"Yes, right," Draco said. "Now why don't you just tell the lady?"

Darius slumped down on the couch. "What would she want with me? She's worthy of someone better."

"Oh please don't start with that crap," Draco said. "You're good enough to be her friend, why wouldn't you be good enough to be her lover?"

"Because 'friend' and 'lover' are two entirely different things!" Darius exclaimed. "What would you know about it anyway? You don't have--"

Harry had stood up and placed his hand on Draco's shoulder. "They're not that different," he said quietly. "And one can grow out of the other."

"What? That's not--" Then Darius stopped and cocked his head to the side, understanding dawning. "You two?"

Harry nodded. "Yes. Us two."

Darius paused and considered what he'd just been told. "Oh," he said finally. "Well, I guess I won't have to worry about you wanting to date Myra."

Harry smiled at him. "Definitely not. She's a great friend, but she's too much of a sister to me." He made a face. "Ew, kissing her."

"Hey!" Darius looked indignant.

Harry grinned at him. "Just needed to lighten the overall feeling here. Now will you tell her, please? So that we can finally have some peace in this group?"

Darius nodded. "I'll tell her. I will."

"Good. Now let's eat," Draco said.

They sat down and ate the delicious dinner Draco had put together. The mood was a lot lighter now that the three men had talked.

"You do realise," said Darius, "that we just defied the typical maleness in the world? You know, the part where we never ever talk about feelings."

"No one will ever know," Draco said.

"Least of all Myra," Harry said.

"Yeah, we wouldn't want her thinking we're ill, or something."

Suddenly, there was a knocking sound at the window. At first, Harry thought he'd imagined it, but then it happened again. Draco looked up at him, an eyebrow raised. Harry wiped his mouth and stood up, walking over to the large glass window. Darius and Draco followed him interestedly.

"An owl?" Darius asked, clearly surprised, when Harry opened the window and a ruffled brown owl swooped in, a piece of parchment tied to its leg.

"It's from one of my-- friends," Harry said as he began untying the note from the bird's leg. "She, uh, likes birds."

"Oh, cool. What does the note say?" Darius asked curiously.

Harry unrolled the parchment and scanned through the text written. The colour drained from his cheeks as he read and the parchment fell from his hands. Draco quickly wheeled himself over and picked the note up from the floor. He read the writing as well and looked up at Harry when he was done, looking a bit too pale himself.

"So she did go to Hogwarts," Draco said softly.

Harry nodded, his face still white.

"Hogwarts?" Darius asked dumbly. "What's a Hogwarts?"

"It's my old school," Harry said, his voice barely more than a whisper. "Our old school."

Darius didn't look as though he understood any more of what was going on. "And who is 'she'?"

Harry suddenly seemed to snap out of his daze. "No one," he said. "Nothing. Let's eat. I'll take care of this later."

Draco shot him a worried look, but didn't say anything. He wheeled himself back to his place after folding up the note and putting it in his pocket. Darius still looked wholly confused, but didn't ask anything more. The atmosphere was quiet, uneasy, and the conversation never became what it had before the owl had arrived. When they'd finished eating, the three men did the dishes and then Darius said he needed to get home. They said their good byes and he left, leaving Draco to deal with a still dazed Harry.

"Are you all right?" he asked as soon as the door had closed.

Harry looked down at him and said quietly, "Desdemona D'Razi was thrown out of Hogwarts in her third year, which was four years ago, for violent behaviour."

"Yes?"

"We were at Hogwarts with her, Draco. Why don't I remember her? Why is she here? Why would she want to blow up my apartment? Why was she cursed with that horrible curse? Where is she now? What is going on?"

Draco reached out and squeezed his hand. "I don't know, Harry. But I promise we'll get to the bottom of it all. Tomorrow. For now, let's just go to bed."

Harry shook his head. "No, I want to write for a little."

Draco looked a bit taken aback, his expression falling ever so slightly. "Oh."

Harry paused and looked at him, his heart expanding in his chest just from watching him. His cheeks heating up, he asked, "Will you sleep in my room tonight?"

Draco smiled slightly. "Of course. Just let me go take a shower first."

Harry nodded and they went into their respective bedrooms. Harry turned on his laptop and opened his story. It was over two hundred pages long by now and almost finished, which was why Harry wanted to work on it now. He wanted it finished so that he wouldn't have the publishers hanging over his head anymore - plus he wanted to be done with the story so that he could finally show it to Draco.

There was a sudden crash in the bathroom.

Harry was up from his seat just half a second later, running towards Draco's bathroom. His heart was racing, the blood pumping in his ears, making the short way over to the bathroom seem impossibly long. He pulled open the door to Draco's room and then the one to the bathroom and he was glad that Draco had had the sense to leave it unlocked.

Draco was on the floor, rubbing his head.

"Draco?" Harry asked, his throat constricting, making the word come out only as a squeak.

Draco looked up, all the while continuing to rub the back of his head, wincing. "Hey," he said.

"What were you doing?" Harry fell to his knees next to Draco, pretending not to notice Draco's state of undress.

"Well, it would seem as though I fell," Draco drawled, starting to push himself upwards.

"But--" Harry stuttered.

"Harry, I'm fine. I just lost my balance and the floor was slippery, so I fell. Nothing more."

Harry nodded, still wide-eyed. "Okay. Nothing more. Right."

Draco pulled himself up onto the toilet. He grabbed Harry by the arm and pulled him down towards him, letting their lips meet in a sweet, reassuring kiss.

"I'm really okay," he said gently when he pulled away. "Don't worry."

Harry gave him a shaky smile and nodded, though his heart wasn't quite convinced; it continued to beat rapidly in his chest. "No worries. Yeah. Right. Not worried."

"I'll be out in a few minutes," Draco said, releasing him. "Go work on that masterpiece of yours."

Harry nodded again and left the bathroom, his heart still beating wildly in his chest. He sat down in his room by the computer, where the cursor still blinked impatiently, waiting for his next word. His legs felt like jelly and he rested his head in his arms. His nerves couldn't take any more of this.

He was so lost in thought that when Draco entered, Harry didn't hear him. He jumped when Draco put his hands gently on his shoulders and began massaging.

"Come on," he said. "Lay down with me."

Harry nodded and stood up, following Draco as he crawled under the sheets. As soon as he lay down, Draco's arms came around him and Harry felt all of his upper body press against his back. He relaxed slowly, letting Draco's presence reassure him.

*

"I'll see you tonight," Draco said the next morning.

Harry sat up in bed, having woken up just minutes earlier, his hair even more dishevelled than usual. "Where are you going?"

Draco rolled his eyes. "To work," he said simply.

"Oh," said Harry dumbly. It felt strange that Draco had a job to go to and he didn't.

"Get done with that book of yours today," Draco said. "That way, we can have a bit of a-- celebration tonight. What do you say?"

Harry grinned. "For some reason, my motivation for finishing the book just went way up."

"Good." Draco wheeled himself into the room and pulled Harry to him. Their lips crushed together in a kiss that was loving and demanding, playful and warring. Draco's tongue trailed Harry's and begged entrance, which Harry readily granted, opening up for exploration. He moaned into the kiss, his arms going around Draco and messing up his hair. Draco in turn let his hands travel down Harry's face, neck, to explore his chest.

"Mm," Harry mumbled between kisses. "You'll never get-- to work-- if you continue-- like this."

Draco smirked. "I'm sure they can-- handle it a few minutes-- by themselves."

Harry felt himself grow more aroused. The intensity of the kisses increased and buttons were soon undone. Harry's pyjama shirt was discarded followed quickly by Draco's own shirt. As Draco started touching him for real, he lost sense of reality and submitted himself completely to Draco's ministrations.

*

After Draco had finally managed to leave the house - an hour too late - Harry sat down with the note Angelina had sent him. The information on Mona had been very short and impersonal

As the bird flew off with the letter, Harry sat down by the computer, his mind still whirling with questions. Nothing made sense. Why? Why would Mona want to blow them up? Or rather, if it really was Mona who was behind the bombing, then why did she want to murder Draco? Because she'd made sure that Harry wasn't in the apartment at the time; he'd taken her out on a date.

And who had Mona been talking about when she'd said, "I'll be found." Why had Mona been cursed? Who'd been hiding in the bushes? By whom would she be found?

He sat down by his computer and closed off all thought of Mona, the Ministry and everything else by concentrating on his story. He didn't have much left now and his fingers moved rapidly over the keys as he tied together all the strings of the story he'd created.

Just as he was writing the epilogue, the phone rang. He jumped, unprepared for the sound.

"Hello?"

"Hi, this is Joanne from the Green Teen Centre," said an unfamiliar voice on the other end. "Do you have Draco there?"

"No, he left, about an hour ago," Harry said. "He was, um, a bit late this morning. But he left - he should have arrived by now."

A sense of worry and dread suddenly settled in the pit of his stomach.

"He hasn't come yet," said Joanne. "We were getting a bit worried that something had happened."

"I-- I don't know," Harry said, standing up and starting to pace.

"Well, I guess he got hungry on the way and decided to get some breakfast or something," Joanne said and it sounded like she was trying to smile. Harry couldn't understand why.

"Yes-- yes, that's probably it," Harry said weakly.

"Will you give me a call if you hear something from him?"

Harry nodded and then remembered that she couldn't see him. "Yes, of course. And if you would please call me when he arrives."

Not if he arrives; when he arrives.

"Of course, Mr Evans," Joanne said.

They hung up and Harry let the phone drop to the floor. He didn't know it for fact yet, but in his heart he knew.

Draco was gone.

To be continued...