Armilla II

Chapter 18

"I have decided to have an extra Occlumency session with Potter this evening," Severus informed me, putting down his Daily Prophet. We had decided to have breakfast in our quarters that morning; it seemed Severus still needed thinking time for how to confiscate the book in Harry's possession. "I will deal with the subject of the book at the conclusion of the lesson."

"Have you decided what to tell him?" I asked. This whole mess had made me uneasy from the start. I felt squeamish at the thought of Severus telling Harry that he had written in that book, along with Harry's mother. If I felt uncomfortable about it; I could only imagine what Severus felt.

Severus didn't answer at first. The frown that had been on his face since he'd come out for breakfast only deepened. "I shall give the boy minimal information," he said shortly. "He does not need any more than that."

"How are you going to stop him telling others about the book?"

"Potter and I..." Severus paused, considering his words, "...have an understanding of sorts. I would not call our sessions amiable by any means, but he knows there are consequences for any actions that displease me. The issue of this book..." he narrowed his eyes at the thought, "you may depend upon it, Armilla, Potter would not dream of disobeying."

We ate in silence for a few minutes. My mind was caught up between worrying about the situation with Harry and worrying about running into the fake Merle again. Seeing her was really unsettling; I sort of hated it and liked it at the same time...I couldn't work out how I really felt about it all. I wanted her gone, simply for the fact that I knew she wasn't real and it was very likely that dark magic was causing it. Part of me, the part that didn't want to admit it because of the sheer stupidity of it, would miss hearing her voice if she disappeared completely. It seemed I hadn't occluded well enough the night before; I had had dream after dream with Merle, Shar, Father and even a stupid one where Father had announced that he was marrying my old governess, Rougier.

"I think you should be present this evening when I discuss the book with Potter, Armilla."

I looked up, startled by this odd request. Severus was looking back at me, his expression completely neutral.

"Why?" I asked.

"I think it would be wise."

I continued to look at him, hoping he would get the hint that such an answer was not really fair.

He sighed. "I think it would be easier for Potter to accept what I have to explain to him if you were there in the room too. If you are there too, he might not feel so uncomfortable." He reached for his coffee cup, breaking eye contact. "I might not feel so uncomfortable."

I stared at him, trying to disguise how I felt about what he had just said to me. I was feeling, well, all Hufflepuff-ish, as Severus would put it. "Okay," I said, following his lead and pretending that he wasn't awkward at all about this whole situation.

"Come to my office at nine o'clock tonight then," Severus said, sounding very business like all of a sudden. "We should be finished by then."

"This is going to make this research project so much harder, you know," I said, reaching for my tea. "Harry's going to be mad that I told you about the book."

"You used good judgement."

"I don't think Harry will recognise that."

Severus shook his head. "Potter's opinion matters very little, Armilla. However, he has no right to point any blame for this in your direction. Whether Potter acknowledges it or not, you did the sensible thing."

It was one thing to have Severus put it that way, but I wasn't looking forward to Harry's reaction. He had expressly asked me not to tell anyone about the book. As badly as I felt about all this, I knew one thing was certain; I didn't regret telling Severus.

o o o o o o o o o o o o

I managed to get through the whole day without running into Merle once. I'd had Double Potions that morning and had made sure to walk with Severus to the classroom. From then on, I had constantly been in the company of at least one student, ensuring that Merle would stay away.

As Lisa, Terry and I sat down for dinner in the Great Hall that evening, the happy light-heartedness that I'd been feeling from a lack of ghostly Merles was replaced with a feeling of dread I could only connect to the prospect of seeing Severus and Harry later on that evening. I looked over at the Gryffindor table to see a happy, laughing Harry. He, Neville Longbottom and Seamus Finnegan seemed awfully amused by something. Ron Weasley, on the other hand, seemed completely distracted; his gaze was directed somewhere further up the table. Hermione was at his side, scowling down at her soup.

Over at the Slytherin table I could see Pansy Parkinson sitting so close to Malfoy that if she got any closer she'd be practically in his lap. He seemed to be enjoying the attention. I watched as she broke off a piece of bread and fed it to him. Urgh. Gross.

"Guess what?" Terry said cheerfully, reaching for some bread. "I'm trying out for the Quidditch team."

"Really?" I was surprised. Terry loved flying; but he'd never shown a great deal of talent. Perhaps he'd practised a great deal over the holidays.

"Yep. I'm trying out to be a Chaser."

"I think you'd make an excellent chaser," Lisa told him.

"Of course I would," Terry laughed. "Caught you, didn't I?"

I rolled my eyes. Terry and Lisa had been going out for nearly a year now and the playfulness that I had thought would wear off after a couple of months was still going strong.

"Are you staying in Ravenclaw Tower tonight, Mill?" Lisa asked.

"No, well...I'm not sure yet," I answered. I hadn't completely made my mind up on that one. On one hand, I was already going to be in the dungeons after nine and there was a chance I'd miss my curfew anyway; on the other hand, Severus was likely to be in a bad mood in my opinion after speaking with Harry.

"I thought you were supposed to stay in the Tower last night," Terry said, putting two rather large lamb chops on his plate.

"I was. There was a change of plan." I was still very reluctant to discuss Merle with my friends.

Before they could answer, Stephen Cornfoot, who was seated next to Terry, let out a groan. "Oh great, here come the lovebirds."

He nodded towards the entrance and we looked over to see Anthony Goldstein and Mandy Brocklehurst making their way into the hall, hand in hand. Mandy was gripping Anthony's upper arm with her other hand and giggling about something. Anthony was laughing too and he seemed to have a new walk...a smug one.

"Lovebirds?" said Terry, frowning, while Lisa was looking sideways at me. "Did I miss something?"

Stephen rolled his eyes. "Mandy asked Anthony out after lunch today. He was rather pleased about the whole thing and they've been glued together all afternoon."

"Who has?" asked Ruby Parkes, sitting down on Stephen's other side.

Again, Stephen nodded in the direction of the pair, who were now sitting down, further down the table. "Mandy and Anthony. She asked him out."

"Mandy asked Anthony out?" Lisa repeated, staring at them, "I thought she liked Ernie MacMillan."

"Yeah, but he wasn't interested," said Michael Corner, who had just sat down on my other side. "Mandy changed her focus a little too quickly, if you ask me."

We all nodded in agreement. I tried not to stare down the table at Anthony and Mandy. I didn't know why seeing the two together bothered me, but I felt angry inside. I glanced down the table and watched as Anthony whispered something in Mandy's ear. She let out a giggle and I saw a First Year nearby pretend to vomit.

I looked away, feeling uncomfortable. Why was I feeling uncomfortable? I didn't like Anthony like that. Though she was in my year and House, I had never been overly friendly with Mandy either. Really, I didn't really have a lot to do with them outside of lessons. Why did I care?

I tried to focus on the conversation going on around me. Terry was being encouraged by the people around us to try out for the Quidditch team. Though I tried as hard as I could, I couldn't bring myself to join in. I was frustrated that I should feel so affected by Anthony's decision to go out with Mandy.

I felt a hand close over mine. I looked up and smiled at Lisa. The boys around us were distracted by some joke over at the Hufflepuff table.

"They deserve each other," she whispered in my ear.

I gave her an uneasy smile back.

She leaned over to whisper again. "Why worry about him? The only wizard worthy of you is Merlin himself."

I let out a low laugh. I appreciated Lisa's loyalty, but I had the feeling the point she was making wasn't why I felt angry.

o o o o o o o o o o o o

I knocked on the door of Severus' office at nine o'clock that night, as I had been instructed to. The feeling of dread in my stomach was an excellent match for the maze of unwanted thoughts that was dominating my mind at the moment.

"Enter."

I opened the door slowly and entered. Severus was across the room, leaning on his desk with his arms folded, while Harry was standing a few metres away from him, pocketing his wand. He looked a little out of breath, but his eyes were shining with suppressed excitement. Severus was right; Harry did seem to be enjoying these lessons now. I understood the excitement; I had felt the same way when I had first started lessons with Severus.

"Hi," I said quietly. Severus nodded while Harry gave me a grin whilst picking up his bag to leave.

"You have not been dismissed yet, Potter," Severus said smoothly, looking pointedly at Harry's schoolbag.

"Oh." Harry looked from Severus to me, looking a little disconcerted. "I assumed since Armilla was here-"

"Never assume, Potter," Severus cut in, "it can cause quite a quandary. You're better off relying on facts."

Yes, quandary indeed, I thought dryly. Look where Harry's assumption had gotten the three of us.

Harry just looked plain confused now. Severus seemed to be lecturing on life lessons and from Harry's view, all he had done was pick up his schoolbag.

Severus gestured as the desks in front of him. "Sit."

We both moved to sit down and while Harry placed his bag back on the floor, I caught a pained look on Severus' face. I didn't know who I felt sorrier for - the man who was about to give away a secret very close to his heart, or the boy who was about to be told that the book his was obsessed with at the moment didn't document the courtship of his parents.

"Though I have my doubts that it is possible," Severus began, addressing himself to Harry, "it is important that you maintain an acceptable degree of maturity during this conversation."

Harry nodded, now looking utterly bewildered.

"As much as I am going to loathe discussing the subject with you, Potter," Severus continued, sounding like he was conducting a business meeting, "I am certain it will be no blessing for you to hear it either."

Harry frowned. "What subject?" He looked at me and I met his eye for a brief second before looking away.

"I've been very interested in this project you and Armilla are researching together," Severus went on, as if Harry hadn't spoken at all.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Harry stiffen.

"Seeing as I did not embrace the notion of the two of you working together, I have been frequently asking Armilla about the progress of the project."

I felt Harry's eyes on me, but I continued to stare at Severus' boots.

"Would you like to tell me about the progress of the project, Mr Potter?" Severus asked softly.

I had the grace this time to break my gaze from my brother's boots and look at Harry. He was regarding me with a peculiar expression; it wasn't the look of anger or betrayal that I'd been expecting. Instead it seemed...calculating. Perhaps Harry had been spending too much time with Severus. Harry had never struck me as the calculating sort.

"Mr Potter?" Severus repeated, a little louder this time.

Harry's attention snapped back to Severus. "It's going okay," he said feebly.

"Okay?" Severus raised an eyebrow. "A satisfactory answer, if you please, Potter."

"Um...well we're looking at innovations in defensive magic and we're supposed to look at developing a new one-"

"I am aware of the nature of the project, Potter," Severus interrupted, looking irritated. "What I am interested in is the resources." Severus met Harry's eye before speaking very slowly, enunciating even more than usual. "One book in particular."

Harry glared at me and folded his arms, looking at the floor.

"Before you begin pulling faces in directions where they're not warranted," Severus said dangerously, "you will listen to what I have to say."

Harry looked back at him irritably.

Severus sneered. "Did I not tell you, Potter, that an appropriate degree of maturity would be required for this conversation?"

It seemed Harry was going to be too stubborn to reply, but finally a small "yes, sir," was heard.

Severus nodded curtly. He gestured to Harry's bag. "Withdraw the book."

Harry frowned. "What makes you think-"

"I would prefer you not to lie about it, Potter," my brother said smoothly, "because that would mean detention. If it's the sort of object that's currently useful and means something to you, you must be carrying it around."

Harry met Severus' eye. "Wouldn't that be assuming, sir?"

I nearly hid my face in my hands.

Severus' face darkened. "Detention, Potter."

Harry opened his mouth to argue, but seemed to think better of it and closed his mouth.

Severus' fingers were tapping on his desk. "Withdraw the book, or I shall go through that bag and get it myself."

Giving me another glare, Harry reached down and withdrew the battered blue book. Severus held out his hand for it, an impassive look on his face.

"No," said Harry, holding the book to his chest, "you probably won't give it back to me."

To my surprise, Severus didn't argue. He lowered his hand, but the expression on his face hardened. "Tell me what you have learned from that book, Potter."

"It's an old defensive magic book," Harry said quietly, not releasing his grip. I noticed that his knuckles had turned white; actually, Harry had become very pale.

"Ah, hence your worship," Severus drawled. "Do not play games, Potter-"

"Well, why ask questions?" Harry interrupted, looking a little crazed. "Clearly, Armilla has already told you about it-" he paused to glare at me, "I learned my lesson there. Thanks." He turned back to Severus. "-so why ask me to tell you about it?"

"- Because you've arrived at false conclusions about that book," Severus said harshly, the tone of his voice making Harry shrink back in his seat a little. I wasn't feeling so sympathetic after the way Harry had just spoken to me.

There was silence in the room for a moment; it seemed no one was willing to speak. Harry was staring resolutely at the floor, while Severus had his eyes fixed on the offending book clutched to Harry's chest.

I kept staring at Severus, willing him to look at me; I suddenly had the urge to start this off. Severus wasn't the best person for this kind of job and though a significant part of the story was his to tell, I felt a need to play a part to; I just wasn't sure whether it was for Harry's sake or Severus'.

After a good thirty seconds of staring at my brother, he finally broke his gaze from the book and looked at me. I wasn't sure what look to give that said Want me to start off? It seemed I achieved it subconsciously as Severus gave me a tiny nod.

"I would have kept your secret," I said quietly to Harry, "but when I saw that book, I knew the secret wasn't yours."

Harry looked over at me. "What do you mean?"

I shifted uncomfortably. "I couldn't let you keep thinking that both people who wrote in it were your parents," I went on, staring at the book. "I had to go to Severus...you wouldn't have believed me otherwise."

Harry frowned. "Believe you about what? What do you mean both the people?"

"She means you've been labouring under delusion that the handwriting through that book belongs to both of your parents," Severus said quietly, "when, in fact, just one of them is your parent."

Harry stared at him. If he had been pale before, he was positively white now. "Who?"

Severus looked coldly at him. "I assume you've read the book cover to cover, Potter. Use your brilliant skills of deduction to work out which parent wrote in it."

I had to admit, it was a pretty stupid question, but I wasn't about to hold it against him; often when in shock, common sense flies out the window.

"My mum's name is in it," Harry said quietly.

I waited for an acidic reply from Severus to congratulate Harry on working it out, but none came.

"Did my dad have a relative at the school at the same time?" Harry asked quietly, looking at Severus.

He shook his head. "No close relatives...no, though I suppose most of the pureblood families could claim to be related somehow..."

Harry stared at him.

"Just because the inside cover of the book has the name Potter in it doesn't indicate that it was always used by a Potter." Severus was regarding Harry with a shrewd look; I couldn't work out if Severus was hoping that Harry would figure it out first.

"I found the book at Grimmauld Place," said Harry thoughtfully, looking from Severus to me. "The Blacks are a pureblood family; it makes sense to think that one of them might have used it."

Severus inclined his head. "A valid possibility, Potter, but I know the answer is no."

Harry's head whipped back to Severus. "Why do you know all about this?"

Severus shot him a deadly glare.

Harry faltered. He seemed to struggle with himself for a moment. "Sir?" he said finally.

Severus regarded him through narrowed eyes. "Your family was linked to ours through marriage a couple of generations back, Potter. As a result, that book made its way into our family."

Harry looked like he'd been slapped. "So...am I, sort of...related to you two?"

"Distantly, Potter," Severus said curtly.

"So...Christian Potter...and Lucia...?" Harry's brain must have been working in overdrive. "Those people in the cover of the book?"

"Lucia Merrigan was our great aunt-"

"Merrigans?" Harry interrupted. "There's no Merrigans at this school."

Severus' lip curled.

Harry went slightly pink.

"As I was saying," Severus went on, eyeing Harry with contempt, "Lucia Merrigan was our great aunt. She married Christian Potter. The couple were your great grandparents, Potter."

I watched as Harry registered this new information. "So...how did the book end up in your family...sir?"

"Lucia passed it down to her niece, my mother." Severus waited until Harry made eye contact with him before he continued. "My mother gave it to me to use at school."

It took a moment for the knut to drop. Suddenly Harry was on his feet. "You..." If he had been pale before, it was nothing to the strange colour he sporting now. "You!" he exclaimed, far more loudly this time.

"Sit down, Potter," Severus said impatiently. "There's no-"

"You!" Harry yelled, running his hands through his messy, black hair. "My mum..."

"Yes, your mother!" Severus snapped, causing Harry to jump and look back at him.

Harry had seemed in the beginning stages of a temper. Something seemed to pass between Severus and himself when they looked at each other. Whatever it was seemed to make Harry rethink his decision to show his temper; giving Severus a withering glare, he sat down heavily. He opened the book and started flipping through the pages wildly.

"Shall we continue," Severus sneered, "or do you need time to think about the dangers of impulsiveness?" He gave Harry a knowing look.

Harry went red. He glanced at me before looking back at Severus, embarrassment very evident on his features. "Yes, sir," he said, his voice wavering slightly as he closed the book.

Severus nodded curtly. "I will not have you deluding yourself that the other person in that book is your father."

Harry looked pained. "Were you...just...er..uh..."

Severus folded his arms. "Your eloquence never ceases to inspire me, Potter."

Harry swallowed. "Just friends?" he said finally. He looked desperate. "Were you and my mum just friends?"

Severus looked coolly at him for a moment. I found myself pondering the answer too...well what that answer might imply...

"Yes, Potter," he said simply. He pronounced the word slowly on purpose. "Friends."

The way he answered left me wondering its real meaning after all. I was sure Harry was feeling the same way. He looked like he was about to be sick.

Harry squeezed his hands into fists in an effort to control the shaking.

"We were friends from our childhood, Potter," Severus went on, watching Harry closely. "It continued during our years at Hogwarts. We generally partnered each other in school assignments, hence the reason you see the conversations between us in this book." He gestured to the book which Harry was no longer clutching to his chest.

"So all those...new spells and stuff..." Harry looked tentatively at him.

Severus inclined his head. "Were...are mine."

Harry looked down at his now shaking fists. Then he looked over at me. "So, I see why you had to tell him," he said glumly. "He would have worked it out pretty quick if we'd used his inventions."

"Naturally, Potter," my brother replied, but Harry was still looking at me.

"Not just that," I said quietly, "It wouldn't be fair to let you think those inventions belonged to someone else."

Harry nodded. "I suppose...it wouldn't be fair, would it?"

For a moment, Severus looked surprised. He covered it up very quickly. "Ah, there's the Gryffindor spirit."

Harry glared at him.

"Very few people know of the spells in the book, Potter," said Severus seriously, "and for good reason." Again, he gave Harry a significant look.

It seemed Harry understood, bur didn't agree. "But, imagine if-"

"No, Potter," Severus said sharply. "This is not for you to decide."

Harry looked sceptically at him.

"Listen carefully." Severus moved forward and put a hand on either side of the desk that Harry was sitting at. Harry tried to move back, but to no avail.

"You will not disclose the contents of this book to anyone, Potter. They were kept private for good reason. As they are my inventions, I will continue to use my own discretion when determining their use."

Harry didn't look convinced. "But Dumbledore-"

"The Headmaster is aware of the situation, Potter," Severus said sharply. "He is in full agreement that the book and its contents remains under my ownership."

Harry just looked at him for a moment. "Why was the book at Grimmauld Place, sir?"

Severus' eyes flashed. "That is of little consequence, Potter."

Harry opened his mouth, presumably to argue, but Severus cut him off once more.

"This is not open for discussion, Potter. As I said, the Headmaster knows what has transpired and he is aware this conversation is taking place. If you take it upon yourself to share what is not yours to share, believe me, Potter, I shall know and the consequence will be severe."

Harry just stared at him, a slightly resentful look on his face.

"You doubt me?" Severus whispered, his eyes glittering dangerously. "You doubt the wizard whose spells enraptured you enough to want to study them?" He leaned even closer so that their faces were mere inches apart. Harry seemed very reluctant to maintain eye contact. "Believe me, Potter, you'll wish you never so much as laid eyes on that book if you even dare disobey me."

As they looked at each other, it seemed like some wordless message passed between them; Harry's expression became more subdued than resentful and he nodded. "Yes, sir," he said quietly.

Severus held out his hand for the book, and after a moment's hesitation, Harry handed it over. Severus straightened up and moved back to lean on his desk again. What hold did he have over Harry?

"You two will need to find something else to focus on in your research," Severus said quietly.

Harry gave a noncommittal grunt. Suddenly he put his head into his hands and his face disappeared from view.

I looked over at Severus. He was watching Harry with an impassive expression. Severus looked rather ill himself.

"I'm such an idiot," came a muffled voice from Harry's direction.

"Ah, we're in agreement," said Severus. "There's a first time for everything, Potter."

I frowned at Severus. Honestly.

Harry was starting to alarm me. His fingers were digging into his head so hard that his knuckles had gone white.

"Come now, Potter. There's no need for this."

Harry ignored Severus. He made a small angry noise, but didn't move from his current position.

"Sit up, Potter," Severus said impatiently.

I didn't think Harry was going to obey, but at length, he slowly moved his hands and sat up straighter. Though his eyes were trained on the desk, they were full of tears. When he spoke, however, his voice was steady. "May I go, sir?"

"No." Severus raised an eyebrow at him. "Not that I would normally care, Potter, but do you feel inclined to run into Slytherins in your present condition?"

Harry shrugged, angrily wiping at his face with his sleeve. "What present condition?" he muttered.

Severus rolled his eyes. "The one you're trying to rid yourself of with your sleeve."

Harry stopped and glared at him, though he didn't look that convincing with red eyes.

Severus looked unfazed. "Not that I generally question it, Potter, but why have you labelled yourself an idiot?"

Harry shook his head. "I don't know."

Severus inclined his head mockingly. "Well reasoned," he drawled.

Harry sent him another glare. "Why would you care...sir?"

"I am interested to know if this is something we shall have to deal with in future lessons," my brother said simply. "I don't wish to waste my time on new concepts with you, Potter, if you're going to be too hung up on this."

Harry considered this before shaking his head.

Severus nodded curtly. "Let's deal with this now then, shall we?"

Harry looked dubiously at him.

Severus sighed. "You know how this works, Potter. Need I remind you?"

Again, Harry shook his head. "I'm...disappointed...I thought the book was something I'd found that belonged to my parents..." He shot Severus yet another glare. "So, I'm a sentimental Gryffindor who lives in Dreamland...sir."

"Indeed." Severus looked at him appraisingly. "You let your heart determine the identities of the people in this book, not your head. It's easy to draw conclusions, Potter, when the conclusion makes one happy."

"The corrected conclusion isn't so stellar, you know." Harry rested his chin on his hand, looking positively ill. He looked over at me. "If I hadn't been partnered with you, Armilla, things would have turned out very differently."

"I assure you that you wouldn't have lived to tell the tale." Severus considered Harry through narrowed eyes. "However, fate works in mysterious ways, wouldn't you agree, Potter?"

Harry merely grunted in reply, until he caught the look on my brother's face. "Yes, sir," he said hastily, turning slightly pink.

"The two of you will have to explore another option with the research project." Severus walked behind his desk and started stacking parchments.

We both nodded. At least it was now sorted out...hopefully. The result was inevitable: both Severus and Harry were looking very out of sorts.

o o o o o o o o o o o o