Armilla II

Chapter 6

I was not sure of what I was supposed to feel after such an experience. Seeing the body of one's mother was, I supposed, never meant to cause an abundance of warmth and security. At the same time, when Severus and I finally left Mother's room, I didn't feel like I had been robbed of her. I didn't feel the loss to the extent that I had when her spirit had left the ring. I believed my feelings were somewhere in the middle, but I couldn't identify them. Perhaps I was numb.

We went to the cemetery without further discussion. I held the daffodil and violet tightly in my hand as I led the way to Merle's grave. I had visited Merle's grave with Severus more than once since she had died, but only at my brother's insistence. I had never wanted to come. I had never felt quite right standing in front of Merle's grave. I didn't think anything would change today, but seeing the violet and daffodil wreath in Mother's room had sent a jolt through me and I felt it was only right to come.

"I don't want to stay very long," I said over my shoulder to Severus, who was a few steps behind me.

"Naturally," he said dryly. "You never do."

I had accepted the loss of Merle awhile ago, but I was never comfortable seeing her grave. I preferred to believe that Merle had gone on a permanent trip where I couldn't follow, rather than stand in a place where her body was actually six feet below. The notion made me uncomfortable. Severus and I had talked about the existence of an afterlife of sorts, but to me that didn't excuse the presence of Merle's body on Earth.

I found the grave a moment later and came to a stop in front of it, looking at the headstone.

Merle Gladys Kemp

31st August, 1914 - 17^th October 1995

"What's this then? Come to see me, have you?" I smiled as I imagined Merle's voice in my head. "It's chilly out here, dear, where's your hat? A proper witch never leaves the house without her hat. You young ones don't seem to feel the cold."

I felt warm at being able to imagine the exact sound of her voice. I always worried that as years passed, I might forget the exact sound of her voice, her laugh, her scent... but at the moment I could hear it quite clearly in my mind, as if she was standing right beside me. It was hard to believe that over nine months had passed since I had last spoken to her. But then, it was hard to believe that it was almost nine months since Severus and I had discovered we were brother and sister.

"Are you glad you came?" Severus asked quietly. "It's been a bit of a sombre day."

"I am," I said honestly, looking down at the flowers in my hand. I bent down and placed them at the foot of the grave. As I straightened up, a horrible thought entered my mind. I turned to Severus.

"Do you think Shar ever comes here?" I asked, trepidation spreading through me. Shar had been Merle's squib neighbour. He had loved Merle, but had not liked me at all. In a twisted sort of way, if it hadn't been for Shar's attack shortly after Merle's death last year, I wouldn't have discovered Mother's ring and I certainly would not have been standing in front of Merle's grave with Severus Snape right now. Fate was a strange thing indeed. "He'd be out of Azkaban by now, wouldn't he?"

Severus did not look at all concerned. "He's no longer in prison," he said, "but I assure you, he doesn't come here." The confident and all knowing air of my brother seemed even more pronounced than usual.

"You keep track of where he is," I stated. It certainly wasn't a question. I wondered why I hadn't thought to ask before. Severus had assured me months ago that Shar would not come near me again. But Shar had been in Azkaban then and I hadn't worried.

He nodded. "Of course I do. I paid him a visit when Azkaban set him free."

I stared at him. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I try not to make talking about Shar a habit," he answered. "That repulsive fool deserves no such attention."

"Does he still live next door to Merle's house?" I asked. I surprised myself as I said this. Merle's house? It had always been our or my house. But then, I didn't think of it as home anymore. My home was the Merrigan Estate.

He shook his head, sneering slightly. "No, he had always rented that property. His lack of magic has never helped him much financially, so he hasn't a cent to his name. He's residing somewhere else now."

"He's still in the country then," I murmured, looking back at the gravestone.

"Yes, he's still in England," Severus admitted, "but he wouldn't dare attempt to come here or bother you in any way. I've made sure of that." He gave me a dark smile. "He will follow my orders or face dire consequences."

I smiled up at him. "You're very useful."

"So I've been told," he said dryly.

o o o o o o o o o

The mood in the house on Sunday morning was nothing short of irritable. Mother's impending funeral that afternoon had caused the atmosphere to be at an all time low. Even Docky wasn't his usual, bouncing self. After breakfast I heard him singing to himself in the kitchen. Usually he sang merry, silly tunes like Ode to a Toadstool and The Wizard Who Couldn't Grow a Beard until Severus snapped at him to "cease his infernal racket". Today, however, he seemed to be singing a rather depressing, slow song.

Severus wasn't there to tell him to knock it off; after coming to breakfast in a dark mood, he had disappeared into one of the greenhouses. Though I wanted his company, I decided to let him be and instead chose to amuse myself in my bedroom. I still hadn't been near the piano, though Severus had virtually insisted on my playing it a couple of days before to rid me of my grouchy mood.

Entering my bedroom, I was not surprised to notice that Morag was nowhere to be seen; she had gone outside with Aeolus again. They seemed to have become firm friends.

I sat down at the piano and looked through my music books. I had one of Mother's there too, which contained her favourite songs, but I chose not to play them. Instead, I went through my books looking for more cheerful songs that weren't likely to leave me more depressed. I found Zadok the Priest and settled on that. The tune was so upbeat that it couldn't possibly let dismal thoughts enter my mind. The music was also a little more challenging to play, which meant my concentration would be thoroughly engaged for the duration of the song.

I played it through a couple of times and was surprised that I felt a lot more cheerful when I finally got up from the piano. I felt cheerful enough to entertain the thought of joining my currently short-tempered brother in the greenhouse. I didn't really feel like pruning, planting or whatever he was doing, but I wanted his company, and I knew that the coming days would mean that I would be deprived of it. We were leaving for Grimmauld Place in two days. I supposed that meant that Severus' mood was not likely to improve much, seeing as he was being forced to live in Sirius Black's house and teach his most detested student, Harry Potter.

Thinking along these lines slowed my steps, but I was determined to join Severus all the same. What I really wanted was to go flying. We had planned on flying on Friday afternoon, but that had been cancelled when Dumbledore had come to give the news that Mother's body had been found.

I checked two greenhouses before finding Severus in the third. He was sitting at a long wooden table, bent over a strange looking plant with dark purple leaves. It looked like he was dissecting the berries it grew. He looked up briefly when he heard me come in.

"I was just about to come and find you," he murmured, his face full of concentration as he carefully extracted pale blue juice from the berry.

"Why?" I asked, sitting down beside him.

He put a stopper on the small flask he had just filled. "To talk to you about this afternoon," he answered. He pushed a couple of gurdyroots towards me. "Chop them, please."

Complying, I started chopping, waiting for him to continue. He didn't seem as ill-tempered as he had earlier; perhaps doing this sort of work soothed him in the same way that music soothed me.

"I received an owl from Dumbledore just after breakfast," he said, reaching for another berry. "Minerva McGonagall has expressed a wish to attend this afternoon. I believe she wants to attend on Emiliana's behalf seeing as she did so much for Mother before her death."

I nodded. I had no problem with that. I was anticipating that the ceremony that afternoon was going to be uncomfortable. Professor McGonagall's presence wouldn't make it any worse. I understood her desire to come.

"I wanted to go over with you the proceedings for this afternoon," he went on. "Was Merle's funeral the first you had been to?"

"Yes," I answered, pausing my chopping to look over at my brother.

"Wizarding funerals differ according to the background of the family," he said. "There are differences in customs according to family and cultural traditions. The ceremonies for muggle borns and half bloods are often different to pureblood ceremonies because they have adopted some muggle customs. I just wanted to be sure that you would be prepared for this afternoon. What happened at Merle's funeral?"

"It was very small," I said distractedly, turning back to the gurdyroots. "A wizard got up and said a few things and then Matilda spoke about her. After that a white flame erupted around her body and the gravestone appeared." I paused, reliving the experience in my mind. "Matilda said that her body had been magically sent below it." When I realised that the hand with which I was holding the knife had started to shake, I put it down. Thankfully, I didn't think Severus had noticed; he was still concentrating on extracting juice from the berry.

"That sounds very much like what you can expect today," he said. "It will be very short; I have no wish to carry out a full funeral service now; Mother would not expect it either."

I nodded, picking up the knife again. I hoped the ceremony would be extremely short. I had hoped that Merle's funeral would be the last one I would attend for awhile.

"Have you heard any news of Father?" I asked suddenly. Thinking about Mother and the challenging life she led ultimately brought my thoughts to my horrid father. As far as I knew, he was still in hiding with my old governess, Zita Rougier.

Severus cast me a fleeting look before putting a stopper in the second flask. "Nothing has changed," he answered, pushing the flask away. "No one knows of his whereabouts. As much as that unsettles me, if it keeps him away from interfering in our lives then it is a blessing of sorts." He had a grim smile as he cast a cleaning charm on the table. "Seeing as he no longer has any legal rights to you, it would be difficult for him to try something with the Ministry on his side."

I said nothing. I didn't think Father needed the Ministry on his side to try anything.

"That said," Severus went on, nodding his thanks as he took the chopped gurdyroots from me, "it does not mean that we shouldn't remain cautious."

I nodded in agreement.

"Come," he said, standing up. "Let's go inside and duel."

"Can we go flying after that?" I asked, getting up to follow.

"I suppose," he answered, holding the door open for me. "Heaven knows when we'll be able to fly again once we go to Grimmauld Place."

We walked back to the house together, both of us in considerably lighter spirits than earlier. I wondered if the mood would become much darker again once our guests arrived in the afternoon. Severus didn't like playing the host on any occasion.

o o o o o o o o o

It was a sign of how low Docky was feeling that Severus wasn't being as snarky with him as usual. Though the ceremony wasn't starting until three o'clock, Dumbledore had arranged for Mother's body to be sent to the Estate in advance by magic. Severus had it all arranged with the Headmaster and I hadn't been nearby when he had received it. Apparently Docky had. From my bedroom upstairs, I had heard Docky's wailing as he ran down to the kitchen. He had loved his beloved 'Miss Hazel'.

When Severus and I came downstairs at that afternoon, wearing robes appropriate for a wizarding ceremony, Docky was to be found sitting on the bottom step, polishing the wood and looking very forlorn.

"Get up, Docky," Severus instructed, frowning at seeing him there. "I told you that there's no need to clean today. The house is tidy enough."

Docky jumped up, looking a little shaken. He didn't look himself at all. "Yes, Master Severus, sir," he said quietly, making the rag he was using vanish with a click of his fingers. "Docky has prepared refreshment for your expected guests."

Severus nodded. "Thankyou." He walked towards the front door, checking a pocket watch as he went. "They should be here shortly; we're meeting them out in the courtyard so we can walk there together."

I still hadn't seen the place on the grounds where Severus was intending to have Mother buried. According to my brother, it had been Mother's favourite part of the grounds.

I was about to follow Severus when he turned around abruptly. Docky was walking towards the stairs that led down to the kitchen.

"If you don't wish to walk with us, Docky, don't be late."

Docky turned around, looking a little ashamed. "Has Docky not finished serving Master Severus, sir?" he asked. "Docky is very sorry. What service can Docky be of out in the grounds?"

Severus shook his head impatiently. "I do not require anything, Docky. I merely meant if you wish to attend this afternoon you would be welcome to."

"Attend, Master Severus?" Docky's blue eyes were wide with astonishment. He shook his head. "Docky is a good house elf, sir. Docky knows his place. House elves do not attend wizarding functions unless they are serving their masters."

Severus rolled his eyes. "Well then serve me by making a decision. Do you wish to attend or not? The choice is yours, Docky, but you had better make it fairly quickly."

Docky looked simply elated to be given such an opportunity. "Yes, thankyou, Master Severus," he said, his eyes tearing up. "Docky would very much like to come. Docky will stay out of the way, sir. Docky will-"

"-Stop your ramblings and come along," Severus said, his tone suggesting that he would soon be out of patience.

Docky smiled, bowing low. "Yes, Master Severus, sir."

We both followed Severus outside, where we stood waiting in the courtyard. Thankfully, the sky was blue, but the sun's warmth was blocked by the icy chill in the strong breeze. We waited quietly; the only sound came from the rustling of leaves from the breeze.

Severus' face had returned to the ill-tempered look he had worn that morning at breakfast. I didn't feel much better.

A sudden screech made the three of us look up. Morag soared into the courtyard, closely followed by Aeolus. They landed on an ornate stone bench, looking quite content.

Severus sneered at the sight of them. "Don't attempt to corrupt poor Aeolus with your absurd vanity," he said coldly to Morag, who was, I would admit, looking very proud of herself. She certainly did fancy herself a good catch.

Morag just blinked in response and started to hoot quietly to Aeolus, who hooted happily in response.

Severus looked as if he was itching to hex the two of them. He turned and looked in the opposite direction instead. Before long, we heard the sound of footsteps on the gravel in the distance. We turned to see Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall making their way up the drive towards the courtyard. Dumbledore was looking resplendent in robes of deep purple, matched perfectly with a gold and purple hat, while McGonagall was wearing robes of dark green tartan. I was glad they weren't wearing black. One thing I hated about traditional funerals was the wearing of dark robes. Severus was wearing black and I was used to that, but I didn't want to wear black to Mother's funeral. I had settled for dark blue robes, and Severus hadn't commented.

"Good afternoon," said Dumbledore, when he and McGonagall had reached us. He reached out to shake Severus' hand. "It's fortunate that the weather is fine."

"Indeed," Severus said quietly, turning to shake McGongall's hand when Dumbledore turned to me.

"I must say that I am sorry you have to attend another funeral so soon for someone so special to you," Dumbledore said quietly, shaking my hand.

"I suppose I'm fortunate to have the opportunity to," I replied softly, "considering that she died so long ago.

Dumbledore smiled. "Well reasoned."

"Miss Snape," said McGonagall, shaking my hand. "It is lovely to see you again. Severus hasn't been making you study every minute of the day, has he?"

"No, Professor," I answered, smiling as I saw Severus shaking his head out of the corner of my eye.

"It may be all she will be able to do once we move to Grimmauld Place," Severus pointed out, sending Dumbledore a displeased look. "There won't be much for Armilla to do there when I am attempting to teach Potter."

McGonagall pursed her lips. "Give the boy a chance, Severus." She turned back to me. "I can always provide you with some Transfiguration projects to do."

Dumbledore chuckled. "I am sure Armilla thanks Merlin everyday for having such close ties to the Hogwarts staff."

"Of course she does," said Severus sardonically, "she benefits from it everyday, Headmaster."

Dumbledore smiled and turned to Docky. "Good afternoon, Docky," he said pleasantly. "You are joining us, are you not?"

Docky bowed. "Yes, Professor Dumbledore, sir, and Docky is very grateful to Master Severus for being given the opportunity to attend. Master Severus is very good to Docky."

Severus sneered. "Well then, shall we go?"

"Lead the way," said Dumbledore, smiling appreciatively as he looked from Docky to my brother.

Severus turned and strode towards the courtyard entryway. Dumbledore and McGonagall followed and I walked behind with Docky. I didn't know if it was my place or not to move in front of them to walk with Severus.

When we moved beyond the big archway, Severus moved towards the left before turning around. "We're not going to bury her amongst the other graves," he said shortly. "We're going to another location and it's at least a ten minute walk."

Dumbledore and McGonagall nodded and started to walk.

Severus' eyes came to rest on me and he gave a slight jerk of his head, indicating for me to walk at his side instead of at the back of the group. I moved forward and we led the way along the path.

Dumbledore and McGonagall became engaged in their own conversation a few metres behind us as we walked along the gravel path.

"Stay by my side this afternoon, Armilla," Severus said quietly. "Don't feel like you need to blend into the background because we have guests."

I nodded in response. He understood shyness so well. He was a sufferer himself.

The ten minute walk felt like much longer, but I didn't mind it. Lately I was happy simply when my brother was by my side. That was when I felt safest.

As we rounded a corner I could see the place where the ceremony was to take place. This part of the grounds was simply beautiful. The grass seemed greener here, and I couldn't have possibly counted all the coloured flowers I could see scattered everywhere. I could hear running water, which I soon found was coming from a huge stone fountain. An old swing hung from an even older tree, and there were a few old stone benches sitting under the trees. I could see why Mother had loved this place so much.

There was a larger stone bench sitting out in the sun near the swing. As we came closer, I could see something large resting on top of it. Something wrapped completely in pale blue silk. Mother.

"An appropriate place, do you think?" Severus whispered in my ear.

I nodded. I didn't trust myself to speak. Having identified what was on the stone bench had set off unwanted emotions. I was annoyed with myself. It wasn't as if I had not been expecting to see her there. It was her funeral after all. I noticed that the daffodil and violet wreath we had seen the day before was at the base of the bench.

The fact that there were no seats reassured me that this was not going to be a long service. We weren't even having someone from the Ministry lead the ceremony. Severus had meant it when he had said that he wanted the whole thing to be very private.

When we came to a halt just a few metres away from the stone bench upon which my mother was resting, I noticed from the pattern on the blue silk was identical to the material of the cushions on my bed. My bedroom was Mother's old bedroom. Maybe the material had meant something to her.

"The silk is very familiar," I murmured to my brother, as Dumbledore and McGonagall caught up, with Docky trailing behind.

He nodded. "Mother's own mother had that silk imported for her years ago," he said, his voice low. "Considering that she died when Mother was a small child, Mother rather thought a lot of whatever her mother left behind. There is still a lot of it left, but I thought it was the right thing to do to use some now."

I smiled. "That's quite sentimental, you know."

He turned and sent me a half-hearted scowl. "It is no such thing," he said curtly.

I shook my head. He really could be thoughtful with such details, not that he would ever admit it. It was just like when he had given me the diamonds for my birthday. The thought behind that had been very sentimental.

"I must say, Severus, this is a lovely location," McGonagall commented. "I can see why you picked it."

Severus nodded, but said nothing.

"Perhaps we should start," said Dumbledore, withdrawing a book from his robes.

"Yes," my brother replied quietly.

Dumbledore opened his book and began to read what he had prepared. "We gather here today not simply to mourn the loss of Hazel Ianthe Snape, but to celebrate the life she led. We mourn because we love, and the mystery of love is far greater than the mystery of death. In celebrating the life of Hazel, we share our elation at having known her, having experienced her love and knowing that her love has passed to us. Let us not think that Hazel has truly left us, for what we have done for ourselves dies with us, but what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal."

Dumbledore continued to read, but my mind started to wander. As hard as I wanted to concentrate on the Headmaster's words, I could not stop my mind from wanting to focus on my memories of Mother. In between his words, flashes of memories kept surfacing in my mind.

* * *

It was a woman. She looked to be in her mid forties. She had clear blue eyes, a creamy complexion and long straight brown hair. She suddenly looked at me, though her eyes seemed unfocused.

"Emiliana, is that you?" she called.

"Er...no," I said.

"And where is Lucia? She is with you, isn't she?" The woman started biting her nails.

* * *

Dumbledore began to read a poem.

"Death is nothing at all.

I have only slipped away into the next room-"

* * *

"I am dead, child. My spirit inhabits this ring. This ring is a piece of dark magic that has been in my family for generations. It allows my spirit to inhabit it until I am satisfied with what I am leaving behind."

* * *

Dumbledore continued.

"I am I, and you are you..."

* * *

"I'm alright," I whispered, my eyes watering. "I'm so glad I've found you, Mother."

My mother's eyes were wide with shock, staring at the bracelet. Her bottom lip was trembling. I wasn't much better. My left arm, which I was still holding up, had started to shake. My legs suddenly felt numb and I was sure my knees were going to buckle.

"You're Lucia?" Hazel whispered.

* * *

"Whatever we were to each other, that we still are..."

* * *

"Your mother?" I pressed, completely nonplussed. What the hell was going on?

Snape looked at me suddenly, as if only just noticing I was even in the room.

"Yes, my mother, Miss Kemp," he said coldly, his face hard as if daring me to contradict him.

* * *

"Call me by my old familiar name-"

* * *

Mother's eyes were teary again. "Then that explains it," she said weakly. "My daughter has grown up not knowing her brother or even who she is." Mother paused to sniff and wipe her nose.

"I'm sure she's fine nonetheless," said Snape dismissively. "No need to start a search and play happy families," he sneered.

"Severus!"

Snape blinked. "Yes?"

* * *

"Speak to me in the easy way which you always used..."

* * *

"Dear me, the looks on your faces! How very alike the two of you are when you're both frowning. I never realised it before."

* * *

"Put no difference in your tone..."

* * *

"You'll just have to grow used to his temperament, dear," said Mother, smiling. "It's a questionable one, I know, and I did my very best to-"

"There is no need to talk about me as if I was not here," Snape snapped, looking quite affronted, glowering at Mother.

* * *

"Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow..."

* * *

"You're only thirty-six once, Severus," said Mother, seeming to forget her anger at her son.

"What an insightful statement," Snape drawled, looking bored.

"Would you rather discuss your marital status?"

"No, I would not," he snapped.

"But don't you want to hold your own baby one day, Severus?"

Snape blinked, looking aghast. "My own baby?"

"Certainly," said Mother, smiling. "There's nothing like it. The first time I held you-"

"-this conversation will not end well, Mother," he interrupted. "I suggest you stop now."

* * *

"Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together..."

* * *

Mother chortled in delight. "What fun! Why don't you give your brother something to make him laugh for his birthday, Armilla? Lord knows he rarely laughs."

"I don't think he'd like a mooing alarm clock," I said thoughtfully, feeling a bit uncomfortable now.

"Indeed I wouldn't," Snape replied, shaking his head.

* * *

"Play, smile, think of me and if you want to, pray for me..."

* * *

"Don't have them out near your sister," Mother interrupted, looking annoyed.

Snape rolled his eyes. "Too late Mother," he said sardonically. "I gave them to Armilla to experiment with as a reward for getting an O in Potions. She left them simmering in a cauldron to come up here to chat to you." Snape widened his eyes. "In fact, I expect the dungeons to blow up at any moment."

Mother narrowed her eyes. "That was unnecessary, Severus."

Snape glared at her. "Then don't lecture me on parenting."

* * *

"Let my name be ever the household word that it always was..."

* * *

Mother gazed back at him dubiously. "Indulge me," she said dryly.

"Alright," Snape replied, glancing briefly at me as he sat up straighter. "He is useless on top of the ground; he aught to be under it, inspiring the cabbages." He gave a small smile, clearly savouring the pleasure from such moving words.

Mother pursed her lips as she turned to me. "Armilla," she said in a hard voice. "If I was able to, I would confiscate that book from your brother and then punish you for giving him such a present."

Mother glared at him. "She's encouraging you to be nasty, Severus. You don't need help."

Snape looked pleased. "Thankyou," he said graciously.

"That wasn't a compliment!" Mother said indignantly.

* * *

"Let it be spoken without effect,

without the trace of a shadow on it..."

* * *

"He needs you more than you realise, Armilla...more than he realises..."

* * *

"Life means all that it ever meant..."

* * *

Mother sighed. "Severus, when you have a spare moment, I'd like you to read a book on engaging in polite conversation. You don't need to put an end to every subject in such an abrupt, disinterested manner."

Snape's lip curled. "I already know how to do that." He smirked. "My conversation is cultured and sophisticated, as long as the subject in question interests me."

* * *

"It is the same as it ever was;

there is unbroken continuity..."

* * *

"She's well taken care of," he said softly to her. "There's no need to worry about that."

"But...but not by me," she sobbed. "Nnnot...by me."

"No," he said quietly. "Not by you. You have never been replaced. Armilla has never called anyone else Mother."

* * *

"Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?"

* * *

"Ah yes," he drawled, his lip curling. "We were trying to determine the degree of excitement Armilla has endured today. Does a pink cupcake rank high up the scale, Mother?"

Mother blinked. "You gave your sister a pink cupcake?"

"I did," he said, as I held up the cupcake as proof.

"With two candles," I added.

* * *

"I am waiting for you..."

* * *

"Mother laughed. "I read you Winnie-the-Pooh when you were a baby, Severus."

He sneered. "Well I doubt that I was impressed at the time."

* * *

"for an interval..."

* * *

"What's an Eeyore?"

"A donkey," I said quietly.

He narrowed his eyes at Mother. "Are you calling me a donkey?"

* * *

"Somewhere very near..."

* * *

"I...have...to let...go," she panted, looking absolutely exhausted. "Severus...Armilla...I love you."

Before either of us could respond, it seemed that she literally let go, for her face became smaller and smaller, as if she was falling away from us.

* * *

"Just around the corner..."

* * *

"I am flying," she called, closing her eyes, as the strong wind blew her away. Her voice became fainter. "I can see..."

* * *

"All is well."

Dumbledore looked up as he finished, his eyes resting on the blue silk. He took out an ivory handkerchief to dab at his eyes. The only sounds were the rustling of leaves, the water from the fountain and the sniffling of Docky. I had been so consumed with reliving my memories that I hadn't noticed that tears had crept up on me as well. I didn't want to let them fall.

Dumbledore waved his wand and a magical tune began to play. I smiled when I realised it was Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring. It was the first song I had ever played for Severus, and it was the only song that Severus would allow his mother to play for him as a child.

Severus was standing by my side, stiff as a statue; his face was carefully void of emotion, yet the way his left hand was clutching tightly at his robes suggested that the emotions were certainly there underneath the surface.

As the tune faded away, Dumbledore started to read again.

"Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow;
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain;
I am the gentle Autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft star that shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there; I did not die."

He looked up. "Severus?"

Severus nodded. He looked at me and gestured for me to follow. I followed him to the stone bench and watched as he bent down and pulled a violet from the wreath at the base. Following his lead, I bent down and pulled a daffodil free. Together we placed our flowers on top of the blue silk. As we backed away, Docky's sniffles became much louder.

We stood, staring at the figure wrapped in the blue silk. I smiled as I thought of the first time I had seen Mother's face and I swallowed the lump in my throat.

The floral wreath, bench and silk suddenly burst into white flames. Docky let out an anguished sob and I bit down hard on my lower lip. Dumbledore looked quite thoughtful, and McGonagall was now dabbing at her eyes with a tartan handkerchief. As for my brother, he was wearing a slightly pinched expression as he watched the flames.

As I reached up to wipe my eyes, I noticed that I had subconsciously moved a lot closer to Severus. He didn't make eye contact with me, but as I lowered my hand he took it in his. Dumbledore and McGonagall were on his other side and wouldn't notice.

When the flames finally subsided, the stone bench was still completely intact, but the wreath and the blue silk had gone. I wondered why a tomb or gravestone had not appeared instead.

Severus gave my hand a final squeeze and let go. He turned to Dumbledore and held out his hand to shake it. "Thankyou, Headmaster."

"It was a pleasure, Severus," he answered.

They continued to talk for a moment, but I was distracted by the stone bench where Mother's body had just disappeared from. Was it not a proper grave? Was there a gravestone somewhere else? I found it most unsettling that Mother had just disappeared and I had no clue where she had gone. Back to oblivion?

"Armilla?" I turned when I realised someone was saying my name and I saw that the three adults were staring at me. Docky was standing behind McGonagall, blowing his nose. Severus was frowning at me. Perhaps he had said my name more than once and I hadn't noticed. I was too anxious about where Mother had gone.

"Perhaps Docky will lead Minerva and I back to the house," said Dumbledore pleasantly. It was very obvious that he thought Severus and I needed a moment to ourselves. Though I felt very childish that Dumbledore seemed to think this necessary, he was actually right.

"Yes," said Severus quietly, finally breaking his penetrating gaze from me to look back at the Headmaster. "Armilla and I will join you shortly." He turned to Docky. "Docky, if you would?"

Docky bowed, his eyes still watery. "Yes, Master Severus." He gestured for the other two to follow and Severus and I watched them walk away down the path.

I turned around and rested my eyes on the stone bench again. There seemed to be no mark indicating where Mother was.

Severus turned back too and followed my gaze to the bench. Silently he took my hand and led me to the bench.

The lump inside me seemed to vanish when I saw the top of it. Elegant writing was now etched on the seat, complete with an etched entwined violet and daffodil underneath.

Hazel Ianthe Snape

22^nd June 1940 - 26^th September 1981

Beloved Mother of Severus and Armilla

I let out a quiet sigh of relief. So this bench marked her grave. I felt silly at not having realised this before.

"You seemed greatly unsettled a moment ago," Severus commented, watching me closely.

I looked up at him to see that he was no longer wearing an impassive expression. More than anything else, he looked drawn and anxious.

"I didn't know where she was," I whispered, feeling silly at admitting it. My voice was shaky when I spoke again. "I feel stupid now."

He shook his head and pulled me into his arms. This made my previously suppressed tears fall now.

"This was Mother's favourite place to sit," said Severus quietly. "I thought burying her beneath it would be more appropriate than producing a grave elsewhere. I apologise. I didn't think to tell you that there wouldn't be a gravestone."

I nodded, still taking in the sense of relief I felt at knowing where she was. "I was worried that she had vanished into nothingness again."

"Understandable, considering that's where she's been so very recently," he said, his voice low. "However, she is here and here she will stay."

We stayed silent for a moment, listening to a few birds chirping off in the distance, calling to each other as they flew from tree to tree.

Severus suddenly let out a dry sound of amusement. "It's interesting you know," he said thoughtfully, "Mother is finally home and I am not being nagged in the flesh, yet all I could hear through that funeral service was her voice, pestering me about my deplorable fondness for bachelorhood."