Harry Potter and the Hangover

Chapter 1: You Need a Real Vacation

The springs of the armchair squeaked as Harry settled his bottom on it, and let his feet rest on the footstool. His entire body ached and, worse, his head throbbed with the most unbearable pain. Tonight's Legilimency session with Snape had been the most intense, and he had looked forward to its end, so he can rest in his bed. However, once he had reached the Gryffindor common room and slowly made his up to the boys' dormitory, Harry came face to face with Ron. The red hair boy, now a tall and handsome young man, informed him that he needed the dorm all to himself just for this one night. Hearing the desperate pleading tone in his voice, Harry easily gave in though he was definitely irritated.

"Just for this one night," Harry grumbled, mocking Ron's tone of voice. He knew exactly what his friend would be doing in that dorm with Hermione. Ever since Dean, Seamus, and even Neville had gotten girlfriends and spent most nights with their lovers somewhere else in the castle, Ron took advantage of the extra privacy and politely kicked Harry, who was still single, out. This happened almost every other night, not just one night.

Now Harry was alone in the common room. The sofa wasn't at all uncomfortable, and the fireplace emitted such pleasant warmth. But as he tried to fall sleep the constant thumps and muffled deep groans alongside a female's high-pitched cries coming from the boys' dormitory jerked him awake.

Harry let out an exasperating sigh. He was tired, irritated, slightly depressed, and sleepy. Also, somewhere deep inside him, he felt a tinge of jealousy. This needs to stop, he thought to himself. Tomorrow he will tell Ron and Hermione to take their goddamn business elsewhere. It was already difficult for him to accept their relationship when he secretly harbored feelings for his bossy know-it-all friend. Now he was placed in this awkward position.

He dwelled deeper into his thoughts, not noticing that someone had plopped onto the chair opposite from him. It wasn't until a soft ahem interrupted his train of thoughts. Harry slowly raised his eyes to meet a nice pair of round bosoms. Even without his glasses, which rested on his lap, he could see the globes practically oozing over the person's purple tank top.

"Ahem, Harry, my face is up here."

His eyes rose to the person's eye level. He blinked and squinted as his hands grabbed his glasses and placed them on his face.

"Oh." A blush rose to his cheeks. "Sorry, Lavender."

The pretty witch smiled at him. "So, what are you doing up this late? If you don't mind me asking."

Harry frowned and briefly looked up toward the ceiling. Thumps. Groans. High-pitched squeaks. Ron had the stamina of a bull.

"That," he said dryly. Lavender's face softened into a sympathetic look for him.

"Why are you here?" he said, slightly irritated that his only place of privacy was interrupted.

"Oh, just to do a bit of reading." She lifted up a magazine to show her choice of reading. Her blue eyes glistened with enthusiasm. "Actually, I couldn't sleep. I'm just too excited for this summer."

"Summer is still four months away."

"I know that, silly. This summer is going to be different. Every summer, my parents and I visit our relatives in France. It's nice to vacation in Paris with family, but sometimes it becomes too much of a dull routine. Don't get me wrong; I do love Paris. Have you ever been there?"

"No."

"Oh, you should go someday! It's worth it. Trust me. But, anyway, earlier today my parents sent me an owl saying that this year we are going to the States!"

Harry's mouth remained in a deep frown. His eyes, unlike Lavender's, didn't glisten with excitement. He was completely expressionless.

"You know, America? Disneyland? The Big Apple? Hollywood?"

"Yes, yes I know," he said, irritably. "I'm happy that you will be having such a grand time in the States!" He failed to sound happy for Lavender and the words came out more like sarcasm.

"Someone's in such a bad mood!"

"And why do you think that?"

Thumps. Groans. High-pitched squeaks.

"One can only guess," Lavender flatly said. "You're jealous."

Harry straightened his position in the armchair and glared at her. He was not jealous of Ron and Hermione's relationship. No, he wasn't. He wasn't. He wasn't. Oh, fuck, he thought, whom am I kidding?

"You're jealous," Lavender repeated. "You're jealous that I'm going to the States and you're not. Because of your jealousy you have to spoil someone else's happiness."

Harry sighed in relief.

"What are you doing this summer?" she asked. "Not going to the States, I'm sure."

He leaned back against the armchair thinking about his vacation for the summer. There was no denying that Lavender's summer will be better than his. For part of July, he'd probably be stuck at the Dursleys' because Dumbledore would insist it for his safety. Hopefully, right before his 17^th birthday, he'd be allowed to go to Grimmauld Place and reunite with his friends.

Harry inwardly groaned. And then, he thought, I would be stuck in that place with Ron and Hermione going at it in the night or day.

"You're right, Lavender. I'm sorry," he sighed. "I hope you'll have a great time with your family."

Lavender smiled. "It's okay."

"Aren't there sixty-five states in America?"

"Fifty Harry."

"Right, right, fifty. Which one will you be going to?"

"Las Vegas, Nevada! I've been reading all about it since I got the owl. It looks so fantastically fun! Bright lights, incredible entertainment, buffets, and shopping!" She squealed and emphasized the last word.

Harry sighed again. Closing his eyes, he muttered, "That's nice, Lavender. It sounds fun. Good for you."

"Oh, Harry, don't be so down! No one likes a downer!"

He grunted in reply.

"You know what?" he heard her say.

He opened his eyes to see Lavender kneel so seductively before him. Surprised at her sudden forwardness, he began to straighten up in the seat feeling uncomfortable and slightly excited.

"What?" he lamely asked.

She placed her index finger on his chest and said, "You. Need. A. Real. Vacation!", poking him in the chest with each word.

"I don't want one," he said, frowning.

"Stop frowning! Smile! You're very handsome when you do." Her hands cupped his face.

Harry's frown twitched. With great and painful effort it turned into a strained smile.

"Okay, well..." Lavender's hands slid from his face and settled on his chest. "You don't need to smile now."

His tight and agonizing smile returned to a frown.

"But you do need a real vacation," she insisted.

"I don't wa-"

"YOU. NEED. A. REAL. VA-CA-TION!" She slapped her hand hard on his chest with every syllable, nearly knocking all the air out of him. "And when you do, you won't be such a grumpy little boy."

Her hands slid further until one hand rested on his thigh while the other hand came upon the noticeable bulge between his legs. "Okay, well, maybe not that little," she said with a smile and giving it a gentle squeeze.

Lavender rose to her feet. "Think about it, Harry. You will feel better."

She walked over to the seat she had occupied, picked up her magazine, and left the Common room. Once again, Harry was alone. He sighed and shut his eyes wishing for his erection to go away and for sleep to take over. A vacation, he thought, I guess it would be nice to get away from everything and everyone. No Voldemort. No Legilimency with Snape. No Dursleys. No classes.

Suddenly without warning, a scream, followed by a deep moan, erupted from upstairs. Then there was silence and very heavy breathing.

Harry massaged his aching temples. A long vacation was needed.